老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S09E12
Part 1
Oct. 22, 2020, 1:54 p.m.
"Let's get this party started."
"让派对开始吧"
Hey, can you push the button?
能按下那个按钮吗
Do not touch that button.
不许碰那个按钮
Just give it a little push. Don't push it.
按一下嘛 别按
Just push it a little. Don't listen to him.
按一下 别听他的
Half of it, halfway, halfway... Don't even touch it.
按一点 按一点 不许按
Why can't I push the button?
我为什么不能按这个按钮
Because whenever Barney sees a button-- any button--
因为只要巴尼看到按钮 无论什么按钮
as to push it.
他都得按一下
Sorry.
抱歉
Why are you so mad?
你这么生气干嘛啊
Because my rehearsal dinner
因为我的彩排晚宴
was supposed to start ten minutes ago.
本应该在十分钟前开始
But instead of stuffing my face with hors d'oeuvres
但现在我不但没有狼吞虎咽地吃
that I have been dreaming about for months,
惦记了好几个月的饭前点心
I am in a laser tag security office,
反而是在激光枪战游戏场的保安室
waiting for the police to arrest my fiance
等着我的未婚夫因为制♥造♥骚乱
for causing a disturbance.
而被警♥察♥逮捕
Hey, you said "Fiance."
你说了"未婚夫"
That's a good sign.
那是个好兆头
Now what do you say we give that old button a push?
你觉得按一下那个按钮如何
Take a good look at this face, Barney, okay?
好好看着我的脸 巴尼
'Cause it'll be useful for the future.
这对将来很有帮助
This is my "Pretty mad" face.
这是我"超级生气"的脸
Well, then, we've got a problem.
我觉得不是
'Cause it looks a lot like your "pretty hungry" face.
因为这更像是你"超级饿"的脸
I'm missing the bacon-wrapped figs!
我要错过培根卷无花果了
Please push the button!
快点按那个按钮
Why is it so cold in here?
这儿怎么这么冷
You trying to get me to talk or something?
你是想耍阴招逼供吗
Not really.
不想
In fact, if you could just sit there quietly...
其实你只要安静地坐着就可以了
Fine, I'll talk.
好吧 我招
It all started a few months ago,
得从几个月前说起
when I had the most awesome idea ever.
我有了一个史上最棒的点子
Laser tag rehearsal dinner!
激光枪战的彩排晚宴
That might be the worst idea you've ever had,
这是你史上最烂的点子
which is saying a lot.
等于是烂到极致了
Name one bad idea I've ever had.
说一个我的烂点子
Gluten-free edible panties.
无麸质可食用短裤
Hot dog on a stick on a bun.
热狗棒汉堡
Inflatable sex toy life raft.
充气性♥爱♥玩偶救生筏
The breast augmentation channel.
隆胸频道
Single malt Scotch tape.
苏格兰纯麦威士忌胶带
The time you ran for mayor.
竞争市长
I still have 12,000 buttons that say,
我还有一万两千个小徽章 上面写着
"The only poll I care about is in my pants."
"我唯一在意的投票[头]在我的裤子里"
Barney, planning a wedding is all about compromise.
巴尼 筹备婚礼的关键是妥协
Do you remember that one night,
你还记得
right after we got engaged?
我们订婚后的那一晚吗
Where is this wedding gonna be, anyway?
婚礼在哪里举♥行♥呀
You know, I thought it might be nice to get married in Canada.
我觉得在加拿大结婚挺好的
I mean, it's where I'm from, and...
毕竟那是我的家乡...
Okay.
好吧
Let's have it. Get it over with,
说吧 早死早超生
get it all out of your system.
把你们的吐槽通通说出来
I'm the groom, i'm the groom, I might as well start.
我是新郎 我是新郎 由我开始吧
Canada? What, are we gonna walk down the aisle
加拿大 我们要伴着碰撞试验傻蛋乐队的歌♥声
to Crash Test Dummies?
步入婚姻的殿堂吗
Play's to Marshall.
该马修了
Canada? What are you gonna do,
加拿大 你们去做什么
hire a regular dog sled or a stretch?
雇一只狗拉的雪橇或搭帐篷吗
Canada?
加拿大
Are you registered at Tim Hortons?
你们要在蒂姆·霍顿斯店登记吗
Canada.
加拿大
Oh, does the organist play wearing mittens?
弹风琴的会带着连指手套吗
Canada? How are you gonna slip the ring
加拿大 如果新娘带着连指手套
the bride's finger if she's wearing mittens?
你要怎么给她戴上戒指啊
Two mitten jokes in a row?
连续两个连指手套笑话
So... you're pretty much done, then?
那...你们差不多说完了吧
Kids... we weren't even close.
孩子们 其实还早着呢
Canada.
加拿大
What do we ask on the wedding invitation?
我们要怎么写婚礼请柬
"Will you be having the elk or the moose?"
"你要带麋鹿还是驼鹿来啊"
Canada.
加拿大
What, are you gonna walk down the aisle
你们要穿着雪地靴
wearing snowshoes?!
走红毯吗
Canada.
加拿大
What, is everyone gonna have access to universal healthcare
每个人都能买♥♥医保吗
so no one has to choose between going bankrupt
这样大家就不用纠结
and treating a life-threatening illness?
到底是选择破产还是治病
Canada?
加拿大
W-What's the band gonna play for your first dance?
乐队要演奏什么歌♥给你们第一支舞伴奏呢
Crash Test Dummies?
碰撞试验傻蛋乐队的歌♥吗
See, it's funny 'cause who gets a band?
有意思的地方在于 傻蛋都能组乐队
Enough. It was just an idea.
够了 这只是个想法
Okay, okay.
好了好了
Seriously, Robin, doing it here in New York
说真的 罗宾 在纽约办婚礼
would be easier, since all of our friends
会更方便 因为我们的朋友
and a lot of our family are here.
和家人♥大♥多都在这里
But... I want you to have the wedding that you want.
但是我不想让你的婚礼留下遗憾
So if it's Canada...
如果想在加拿大办
just say the word.
你说一声就行
And then say it again in French.
然后用法语再说一遍
See? I compromised.
看到没 我妥协了
Fine.
好吧
We'll just have a nice, tasteful rehearsal dinner.
那我们举办一个美好高雅的彩排晚宴
Maybe at a French restaurant.
地点可以定在法国餐厅
I know just the place.
我整好知道个地方
What's the name of the restaurant?
餐厅名是什么
La... ser tag.
激 光枪战
You know, I was thinking about
我刚在想
what to get you guys for a wedding gift.
要送你们什么婚礼礼物
As you know,
你们都知道
I'm kind of the wedding gift master.
我是送结婚礼物的大♥师♥
And, well, all this talk of the rehearsal dinner
这次关于彩排晚宴的谈话
gives me a fantastic idea.
给我一个绝佳的灵感
I've been meaning to start taking piano lessons again.
我想重新去学钢琴
No.
不
No piano time. Guys!
不准弹钢琴 各位
Just let me perform something.
让我表演个节目啊
I'll-I'll tickle the keys.
我会轻弹钢琴键
It'll be great.
肯定很好听
Not even if you dressed up as Liberace.
不行 除非你打扮成列勃拉斯
What if I dressed up as Liberace?
我就打扮成列勃拉斯
Sold! Sold.
同意 同意
And that was the end of it.
本来就这么决定了
Until my bachelor party.
谁知道在我的告别单身派对上
Let me guess:
我来猜猜
there was a stripper.
有个脱衣舞娘
You had a little fun.
你们玩得挺开心
Maybe took some ill-advised pictures.
或许还拍了些不雅照
Next thing you know,
接着你就发现
she's blackmailing you into bankruptcy,
她快把你勒索到破产了
and your medical degree's hanging on the wall
千辛万苦得来的医学学位证只能挂在
of a laser tag security office!
激光枪战保安室的墙上
No.
不是这样的
The night of my bachelor party,
在告别单身派对的那晚
my friends took me to a crappy hotel,
我的朋友们带我去了一家破烂的旅馆
hired my ex-fiance to be the stripper,
请我的前任未婚妻来跳脱衣舞
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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