老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S09E18
Part 4
Oct. 22, 2020, 1:56 p.m.
How do you know what Sea-Monkeys taste like?
你怎么会知道丰年虾的味道
My older brothers are not...
我的两个哥哥
the best people.
也不是什么好东西
Why did you lie?
你为什么要骗我们
I...
我...
love you guys.
爱你们大家
He loves us?
他爱我们
Let's throw him down the stairs again.
再把他扔下楼梯
Yeah! Yeah!
好的 好的
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Think about it.
慢着慢着 仔细想想
The first time Barney gave us that drink,
巴尼第一次给我们醒酒药时
those hangovers all happened
那些宿醉都发生在
at the worst possible moments.
人生最低谷的时刻
Remember? Marshall thought he botched day two
记得吗 马修觉得他考砸了
of the bar exam, so he freaked out that night and got wasted?
律考的第二天考试 晚上太担心喝醉了
Now I'm gonna miss the last day of the bar?
现在我要错过律考的最后一天了
I'll never be a lawyer!
我永远做不了律师了
I should just go back to being a manager at Structure.
我应该回到"构造"服装店做经理
That ten percent off all vests sale?
背心打九折大促销
That was my idea!
那是我的主意
As was cutting the arms off
把那些卖♥♥不出去的衬衫
all the shirts that weren't selling.
剪掉袖子当背心卖♥♥
That's where I belong.
那才是我的归宿
No, Marshall.
不 马修
You're gonna be a lawyer.
你会成为一名律师
No, I can't do it. Yes, you can.
不 我做不到 你做得到
Your first day back live on the air
你重返直播的第一天
is gonna be legend-- wait for it--
将会是传 等等
dary!
奇
Your kindergarten field trip
你幼儿园今天去
to the jackhammer and siren museum today...
电钻和汽笛博物馆的实地考察
...is gonna be legendary.
将会是传奇
No, it's not.
不是的
Nothing's ever gonna be legendary again.
不会再有什么是传奇了
I-I'm never gonna recover from this.
我的心再也无法痊愈
It's just a hangover, Ted.
这只是宿醉 泰德
Not that!
不是说这个
I got left at the altar, Barney.
我被人甩在了婚礼上 巴尼
I'm now a guy who got left at the altar.
我是一个被人在婚礼上甩了的人
There's no coming back from that.
我这辈子想起来都会难过
Drink this.
把这个喝了
You're gonna be okay.
你会好起来的
Barney made up the Stinson's Hangover Fixer Elixir
巴尼瞎编了一个斯丁森宿醉清醒百试百灵药水
so we would all believe that we could rally.
这样我们都相信我们会好起来
I mean, even though it's fake, it-it worked.
哪怕是假的 但依然起了作用
Like-like Dumbo's feather.
就像小飞象的羽毛
Dum-bro's feather.
小飞兄的羽毛
A placebo.
无药效安慰剂
Place-bro.
无药效兄慰剂
A sugar pill.
糖片儿
I...
没词了
He lied so we'd be okay.
他骗我们 让我们好起来
Barney does love us.
巴尼的确爱我们
I wish we could help him out the way he helped us.
我真希望能像他帮我们那样来帮他
But the wedding photos are in 20 minutes.
但20分钟后就要拍婚纱照了
My dad's gonna be so pissed.
我爸会气死的
Yup.
是啊
Barney's a dead man.
巴尼跟个死人一样
Barney?
巴尼
You were always a bit...
对我而言
chatty and blond
你一直有点
for my taste. Like a woman.
太多话 太金发 像个女人
But this new side of you--
但你这全新的一面
quiet,
安静
steady?
沉稳
I like it!
我好喜欢
You've earned my respect today, son.
你今天赢得了我的尊重 儿子
I request the highest of fives.
给我来一个最热烈的击掌
Oh, no. Stay cool.
不好 淡定
I got this.
看我的
I don't believe this.
真不敢相信
You did Weekend at Barney's.
你们演了一出《老板度假去》
And it worked.
而且成功蒙混过关
God, today's gonna be all downhill from here.
老天 今天只会越来越没劲了
That's what the bride wants to hear.
新娘就想听这句话
No, that's not what I meant.
不 我不是那个意思
I just mean Weekend at Barney's
我只是说《老板度假去》
is a thousand times more amazing than our wedding could ever be.
要比我们的婚礼精彩上千倍
I'm gonna get some more coffee.
我再去倒点咖啡
I can't wait to see the photos!
我等不及要看那些照片了
Well, he bought it.
他相信了
We lied out of love.
我们是因为爱而撒谎
Look how happy he is.
看他多开心
I mean, he has no idea we had to cancel the wedding photos
他完全不知道 我们只能取消拍婚纱照
and my dad was so angry,
我爸非常生气
he came up to our room and kicked Barney in the crotch.
他跑到我们房♥间 猛踢巴尼的裆部
And the best part is your dad has no idea.
最棒的是 你♥爸♥完全不知道
He still loves me.
他还是爱我
Hey, do anyone else's balls hurt?
你们还有谁蛋蛋也痛吗
And, look, some good came out of all this.
你这次喝醉也有好事发生
Seeing you like that, we all vowed
看到你这副模样 我们都发誓
never to get that drunk again.
再也不会喝这么醉了
Well, actually I didn't.
其实我还没发誓呢
But I will now.
不过我现在发誓
Never again.
再也不喝这么醉了
Never again. Never again.
再也不会 再也不会
Kids, no matter how hard we try,
孩子们 无论我们多克制
even the best of us go a little too wild sometimes.
我们中最优秀的 有时候也会稍微放纵下
And in those moments, we all need
在这样的时刻 我们都需要
someone who loves us to help us rally.
爱我们的人 帮助我们好起来
Happy New Year. Okay.
新年快乐 好吧
That was, that was way too loud.
声音太大了
You're practically screaming.
你简直是在尖叫
What you need
你需要的
is Stinson's Hangover Fixer Elixir.
是一杯斯丁森宿醉清醒百试百灵药水
Even if that means lying once in a while.
哪怕这意味着要偶尔撒个小谎
Does it work?
有用吗
Totally works.
绝对管用
It's normal, it's totally normal.
正常 完全是正常反应
I love you so much.
我好爱你
I love you, too.
我也爱你
Better drink it fast.
最好快点喝
Mommy!
妈咪
Hey, look who it is! Get her!
看看是谁来啦 快找妈妈
I can't believe we kissed today.
真不敢相信我们今天接吻了
Weird.
好奇怪
I-I feel kind of bad
我有些遗憾
that, um, Ted and Marshall missed it.
泰德和马修没看到
Hey, we should kiss one more time
我们应该再亲一次
in front of them just to, like, blow their minds.
当着他们的面 让他们目瞪口呆
Right?
对吗
Nah, I don't think so.
算了吧
Exactly, totally.
是啊 没错
Ha-ha, guys, you don't get to see this kiss either.
伙计们 你们也看不到我们玩亲亲
So, where should we go?
那我们去哪里亲呢
Closet, patio?
衣橱 露台
Ooh, I think the sauna's open.
我想桑拿开门了
Well, I... actually...
其实 我
to be honest, it-it felt kind of weird to me.
说实话 我觉得有些奇怪
Once was enough. Totally.
一次就够了 没错
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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