老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S05E01
Part 1
Oct. 23, 2020, 10:03 a.m.
Kids,on my first day as a college professor,
孩子们 我当大学教授的第一天
there re two things I didn't know that I wish did.
我真希望自己当时知道两件事
The first thing was that your mother was in that classroom.
第一件是 你们的妈妈就在那间教室里
The second thing?
第二件?
Well,to explain tt, we have to go back to the beginning of the summer,
为了解释清楚 我们首先得回到夏天刚开始时
when,after a ye of wrestling with their feelings for each other,
在挣扎犹豫了一年对彼此的感觉后
Barney and Robin finally,well...
Barney和Robin总算是 呃...
Lily,volume. Use your indoor "whoo."
Lily 注意音量 用你室内的欢呼声
Sorry,whoo!
抱歉 唔!
It's jt they kissed! They're finally a couple.
他们接吻了! 他们终于成了一对儿
Oh,my God,you guys! This is our first double date!
噢 天哪 伙计们! 这是我们第一次四人约会!
First of millions! What if our kids get married? Oh,I love this!
无数次中的第一次! 说不定我们的孩子们会结婚? 爱死这个了!
Yeah... Lily,listen.
呃... Lily 听我说
Barney's awesome.
Barney很赞
Ron's more than just awe -"some."
Ronbin不仅仅是很赞
She's awe-"quite a bit." She's awe-"a whole darn lot."
她是无与伦比 她简直是出神入化啊
Wait,what are you saying?
等等 你们在说啥?
We're just not feeling it right now.
我们现在没那种感觉了
- But we'll totally still be friends. - Oh,yeah.
- 但我们还是会继续做朋友 - 对
Is it something I did?
是我做错了什么吗?
- Oh,no,no,no, no,God,no. - No,no,no.
- 噢 不不不 老天 不是你 - 不 不 不
- Lily,it's not you. It'ss. - Yeah. It's us.
- Lily 不是你的错 是我们的问题 - 对 是我们的问题
You understand,right?
你能理解的对吧?
Sure,of course.
当然 当然了
As long as you're happy, I'm happy.
只要你们开心 我就开心
We were gonna takecooking and we were gonna go on camping trips together
我们本来可以一起上烹饪课 一起去露营
and then we were gonna sit around telng funny stories about our cooking lessons and our camping trips.
然后坐在一起 讲我们烹饪课和露营时的笑料
I know,I know.
我明白 我明白
So,has the boat sailed onex tonight or...
那今晚我们就不ooxx了么...
After that,the summer went by way too fast.
在那之后 夏天转瞬即逝
Until all of a sudden, it was the Friday before my firsday as a college professor.
忽然之间 就到了我第一天当教授 之前的那个周五
- Whoa,what's this? - Oh,boy.
- 哇噢 这是什么? - 噢 天哪
It's just a little something that we got for you
只是我们给你买♥♥的小玩意
that used to belong to my favorite professor of all time.
曾属于我最喜欢的教授
A fedora.
一顶软呢帽
I'm Indiana Jones! I'm Indiana Jones!
我是印第安纳琼斯! 我是印第安纳琼斯!
That,my friend, is the Dinator 8000,
我的朋友 这个就是"统治者8000"
the best bullwhip on the market, according to my whip guy.
据我的鞭子中介说 这是市面上最好的鞭子
Yeah,I have a whip guy.
是的 我有个鞭子中介
You know what we should do? We should...
知道我们该干嘛吗? 我们应该...
Finish ourrinks,go out in the alley,and whip stuff.
把酒喝掉 去外面的巷子里 用鞭子抽点什么
God,you just get me.
老天 你真了解我
Okay,I should get going. I got a date.
好了 我该走了 我有约会
Oh,are you still seeing that guy?
噢 你还在跟那男人约会吗?
Uh,even better, seeing him naked. What!
呃 更进一步了 跟他裸裎相对了 牛吧!
I should go,too.
我也该走了
I hooked up with this Chinese girl last night, and I don't know,it's weird.
我昨晚跟个中国妞在一起 说不清 挺怪怪的
I already feel like seconds.
我已经迫不及待了
Okay,Ted,you got first whip!
OK Ted 你来抽第一下!
All right.
好
Hey,dummy. What did tell you about smoking in here?
嘿 假人 我不是警告过你 不许在这儿抽烟的么?
Make him whip the habit!
把他那陋习给抽掉!
I'so excited about this whip! I got whip fever!
这一抽搞得我好兴奋! 我染上鞭子高烧了!
Just whip him,Ted! Don't even aim! Just whip him!
赶紧抽他 Ted! 别瞄准! 直接抽!
I am so sorry.
我太抱歉了
No,it's just the whip's not a toy,Ted.
没事 但鞭子不是什么玩具 Ted
There's such a thing as common sense,you know.
这是人人皆知的道理
Hey,you can whip me if you want.
嘿 要是你想的话 可以抽我
I will,some other time.
我会的 下次吧
So,how long has this been going on?
你们俩这样多久了?
All summer.
整个夏天
I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!
我就知道! 我就知道! 我就知道!
You guys are boyfriend and girlfriend.
你们俩就是男女朋友
- Wow,no. Whoa,whoa,whoa,Lily. - Girlfriend?
- 哇噢 不 哇噢 Lily - 女朋友?
- Slow your roll there,Lilypad. - Yeah,yeah.
- 冷静点 小Lily - 就是
You've been together all summer. I dot get it.
你们俩一个夏天都在一起 我搞不懂
Okay,it's like this.
好了 是这样的
After we kissed, we sat down to have the talk.
我们接吻后 坐下来准备谈谈
We should figure out what this is.
我们应该先弄清楚这算什么
Yes,we should. Or. Or...
是的 我们应该 又或者..
Okay,now, we have to figure this out.
好了 现在我们该弄清楚这算什么
Yes,we do. Or. Or...
是的 又或者...
We kept trying to have the talk and then we realized we hate the talk.
我们一直尝试谈心 但最终意识到我们痛恨谈那个
Yeah,the talk sucks. You have to,like,talk.
就是 谈心很讨厌 你得真的...谈心
And be all, "I don't know. "It's not that I don't like you.
类似于 "我不清楚 我不是不喜欢你
"It'sust that I haven't had a girlfriend "in a really ng time. I hope it doesn't make you mad."
"我只是很久没有女朋友了 我希望你不要生气"
- Who needs it? - You needs it.
- 谁要听这个? - 你们需要
Guys,you can't just keep hooking up and not at least try and fire out what you mean to each other.
伙计们 你们不能就这么滚床单 但完全不考虑你们对对方的意义
Yeah,we knew you would say that. That's why we kept it a secret.
我们知道你会这么说 所以才瞒着你
We,that and the fact that elaborate lies really turn us on.
这个 加上撒谎会让我们性奋
No,no,no. No.
不 不 不
You need tdefine the relationship. You ne to have the talk.
你们得界定你们的关系 得好好谈谈
Or. Or.
又或者 又或者
I know what you're all thinking.
我知道你们在想什么
"Who's this cool peer of mine up in front the class?"
"讲台前这个聪明的帅哥是谁?"
Well,I know the board says "Professor Mosby," but to you I'm Ted,huh?
我知道黑板上写的是"Mosby教授" 但你们叫我Ted就行了 明白么?
Question. Awesome. Hit it.
有人提问 棒极了 问吧
Yeah,here's my question. "Ted," who the hell do you think you are?
我的问题是 "Ted" 你以为自己是谁?
Yeah,"Ted." We're supposed to learn from you? You failed as an architect.
就是 "Ted" 我们得跟你学? 你做建筑师那么失败
Well...
呃...
And if you're a professor, where's your h and your whip?
如果你是教授 那你的帽子和鞭子呢?
They're at home.
我把它们放家里了
And where are your pants?
那你的裤子呢?
Oh,God. Barney,it was awful. I was teaching...
噢 天哪 Barney 太恐怖了 我正在上课...
Shh,Ted,now's not a good time. Whe do you keep your condoms?
嘘 Ted 我现在没空听你讲 你的安全套放哪儿了?
******
我被吓死了 我觉得我应付不来
ay,look,mistake #1 was taking that girl's question.
好吧 听着 第一个错 接受那姑娘提问
You don't ta questions on the first day. It shows weakness.
第一天不能回答问题 这只能表现你的软弱无能
Mist ake #2 was you should've hit that.
第二个错 你应该抓住机会上她
Dude,your pants were already off, u had a classroom full of people to cheer you on,
伙计 你已经脱了裤子 满教室的人会给你加油
and you n't knock her up 'cause it's a dream.
又不用担心让她怀孕 因为那是个梦
Class dismissed.
下课~
Mist ake #3,dude,where was the hat?
第三个错 伙计 那帽子呢?
Because if y're not going to wear it, I'm taking it back.
要是你不打算戴 那我就收回
I think what Barney's saying is that definitions are important.
我想Barney要说的是 界定是很重要的
You're their teacher, not their friend.
你是他们的老师 不是他们的朋友
- Exactly. - ****nobody's happy.
- 就是 - 要是不清楚各自的地位 大家都不会开心
Amen.
对极了
- You have to ma things clear. - Run tell dat.
- 应该把事情弄清楚 - 再正确不过
- Define the relationship. - Yes! No!
- 界定你们的关系 - 是啊! 不!
Lily,private convo time.
Lily 单独谈谈
Lily,can't you just let us be happy?
Lily你就不能让我们俩高高兴兴的?
You're notappy.
你们并不开心
You just think you're happy because you feel happy.
你们感到开心就以为自己真开心了
- And that's not happy? - Of course not.
- 那不是开心是什么? - 当然不是了
You and Robin need to have the talk.
你和Robin必须得谈谈
Why? Give me one good reason.
为什么? 给我个好理由先
- I'll give you 20... - Wow,you can't even think of one.
- 我可以给你20... - 哇噢 你一个理由都想不出
Headlights. Deer.
没辙了吧
Lily,for the last time, things with me and Robin are as good as they can possibly be.
Lily 我最后说一次 我跟Robin好的不能再好了
Oh,hey,look,Brad's here.
噢 嘿 瞧 Brad在那儿
I've got two tickets to the Rangers/Canucksame tomorrow night.
我有两张明晚Rangers对Canucksame的票
I know you're a hockey fan, so I was tnking...
我知道你是个冰球迷 所以我在想...
What do I have to do? Put a gun to your head?
我要怎么做才让你答应 拿枪指着你的头?
- Buy you a six ck? - Oh,come on,Brad,that's...
- 给你买♥♥六罐啤酒? - 得了吧Brad 那... (其实都是秀肌肉)
Wow,there's really six of them.
哇噢 你还真的有六块腹肌呢
- Uh,t,uh,I can't. - Why not? You have a boyfriend?
- 呃 不行 - 为什么不? 你有男朋友了?
- No. No,no boyfriend. - Great! It's a date.
- 不 没有男朋友 - 太好了! 那就这么定了
- Hey,Barn. - Hey,Br...
- 嘿 Barn - 嘿 Br...
********
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
剧集 | 老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005） | 导航列表