老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）

How I Met Your Mother S09E17

Part 1 Oct. 22, 2020, 1:56 p.m.

Well, that party was a dud.
那个派对太让人失望了
I think I struck out with, like, 20 girls.
我差不多被20个女生拒绝
And... my condom expired.
我的避孕套都收得过期了
We are losers!
咱们真是太失败
We've tried everything.
我们使出了浑身解数
We're covered in Drakkar,
还喷了展现男性本色的达卡香水
I've got fresh new white socks,
我穿了崭新的白袜子
and I thought our mime work in there
而且我觉得我们的哑剧
was excellent!
演得超棒
What?
怎么了
Um, are we in a zombie movie right now?
现在是在拍僵尸电影吗
Boys...
小伙子们
today is your lucky day.
今天算你们走运
Because today...
因为今天
I'm gonna teach you how to...
我要教你们怎么
...live.
生活
Who's got gum?
谁有口香糖
Kids, for a brief period when I was seven,
孩子们我七岁有一段极为短暂的时期
my best friend was a balloon.
我最好的朋友是一个气球
It was the classic story:
故事很老套
Boy meets balloon,
男孩遇见了气球
Boy and balloon become friends,
男孩和气球成为了朋友
boy loses balloon
当妈妈把热狗
when mom sets out hot dogs in the backyard.
端到后院时男孩失去了气球
No!
不
Decades later,
几十年后
boy's new best friend finds out about the whole thing
男孩的新好友发现了他和气球的故事
and never lets him live it down.
从此他便被嘲笑个不停
I hate you so much.
我恨死你们了
The whole thing taught me a lesson.
这件事告诉我一个道理
If you love something,
如果你深爱某件事物
you can never let it go,
就千万不要放手
not even for a second,
就连一秒种都不行
or it's gone forever.
否则你将永远失去它
Well, at least I still got my hot dogs.
至少我还有热狗
No!
不
It was a lesson that took me
我花了将近三十年的时间
nearly 30 years to unlearn.
才忘掉这个道理
Where could Barney be?
巴尼到底去哪儿了
Oh, relax. He always finds his way home.
放心他总能找到回家的路
St. Patrick's Day, 2008.
2008年的圣帕特里克节
He did not find his way home that night.
那晚他没找到回家的路
That dumpster was a block from his apartment.
那个垃圾桶离他家只有一条街
I call that a win.
那也算回家了吧
Also, that isn't the filthiest trash he's ever slept with.
那不是他睡过最恶心的垃圾
Ho! My future husband, folks!
这就是我未来的丈夫各位
Or maybe he bailed on the wedding.
又或者是他逃婚了
Oh, come on.
别这样
Don't even think like that.
千万别那么想
Well, he's terrified of commitment--
他害怕承诺不喜欢束缚
Although, ironically, loves being tied down...
讽刺的是他在床上却喜欢被捆绑
Look, as the run-offee at my own almost-wedding,
作为一个在婚礼上被新娘抛弃的过来人
I can tell you you are fine.
我告诉你他不会跑的
Barney is no Stella.
巴尼不是斯特拉
Hey, have you talked to her in a while?
你最近有跟她联♥系♥过吗
Stella? Yeah.
斯特拉对
The woman who broke my heart
那个伤透我的心
and embarrassed me in front of
让我在家人和朋友面前
all my friends and loved ones?
出尽洋相的女人
Uh... no.
当然没有
That was a lie.
我撒谎了
A few days earlier,
几天前
I had talked to Stella on the phone.
我给斯特拉打过电♥话♥
Because, as you may recall,
因为你或许还记得
I'm kind of the wedding gift master.
我可是结婚送礼大♥师♥
Okay, I'm gonna stop you.
行了我得打断你了
Do you not hear how weird this all sounds?
你不觉得这一切很不妥吗
What part of this is weird?
哪里不妥了
You're going to your ex-girlfriend's wedding.
你去参加你前女友的婚礼
It's not weird at all. Where you'll be the best man...
没什么不妥啊你还要做伴郎
Utterly not weird.
丝毫不觉得不妥
And now, less than a week before the wedding,
现在距婚礼还不到一周的时间
you're calling the woman who left you at the altar
你打电♥话♥给那个当初把你丢在圣坛上
and moved three time zones away
现在离你三个时区远的女人
on the razor-thin chance
就因为你抱着一丝希望
that I somehow ended up with her grandmother's locket?
觉得罗宾祖母的项链或许在我这儿
You know what's weird, Stella?
你知道什么才叫不妥吗斯特拉
Not seeing Star Wars until you're 30.
30岁之前从没看过《星球大战》
You're trying to blow up the wedding.
你是想毁掉他们的婚礼
You called C-3PO the tin man.
你把C-3PO叫做"锡人"
He is made of tin!
他是锡做的
It's Tatooine scrap metal!
那是塔图因行星的废金属
This is not an argument you are gonna win.
你吵不赢我的
Now, do you have the locket or not?
快说项链到底在不在你那
Look, I might have it somewhere
项链可能在
in one of my old boxes in our storage locker,
我们储藏室的旧盒子里
but even if I did, I cannot get out there this week.
但是即使我找到了也没时间送过去
I'm totally swamped.
我这周忙疯了
One ticket to Los Angeles, please.
一张去洛杉矶的机票谢谢
So the reason someone can't come up
所以没人上来
to fix the air conditioning
修空调的原因是
is that the ghost of captain Dearduff,
住在这间房♥里的鬼
Who haunts this room,
迪尔多夫船长
likes it muggy? That's correct.
喜欢闷热没错
Although, now that I say it out loud,
虽然我把话说出来了
it does sound kind of ridiculous,
这话听起来也有些荒谬
because there's no such thing as ghosts. Right?
因为这世上根本没有鬼对吧
You have outflanked me, front desk guy!
我被你绕进去了前台先生
Victory is yours!
你赢了
The truth is, there was a ghost in that room.
事实是那间房♥真的有鬼
You see, minutes earlier,
几分钟前
Marshall had been in the middle of
马修正处于他结婚以来
the worst fight of his marriage,
最激烈的一次争吵
When all of sudden, Lily stormed out.
莉莉突然夺门而出
Damn it, Lily. This is so unfair.
我靠莉莉这不公平
I know!
我知道
Storming out in the middle of an argument?
没吵出个所以然就突然跑掉
So childish!
太幼稚了
Thank you, ghost Lily.
谢谢你鬼魂莉莉
I'm glad at least you see it that way.
我很高兴你也这么认为
Although, let's be honest, I did you a favor.
不过老实说我帮了你个大忙
You were gonna lose.
因为你肯定吵不赢我
I... what?
我... 什么
I was gonna lose?
我怎么可能输
Uh, check your spectral scorecard, ghost Lily.
麻烦再看看你的记分卡鬼魂莉莉
I had you on the ropes.
你完全无力反驳我
That's why you ran out.
所以你才会跑掉
I ran out because you brought up San Francisco.
我跑掉是因为你重提旧金山
It was a valid point.
那是个有利的据点
It's ancient history.
那是陈年旧事了
If you're mad at anyone,
如果你要对谁生气的话
you're mad at 2006 Lily.
那应该是2006年的莉莉
Well, I can't very well have an argument with 2006...
我无法和2006年的莉莉吵架...
Is nice!
哎哟不错哟
Do people still say that?
现在大家还这么说吗
I'm sorry,
抱歉
how exactly are you gonna teach us how to live?
你到底要如何教导我们怎么生活
The journey to awesome
要想走到牛逼的道路上
starts with a single...
首先得是单身...
Actually, lots of singles.
还要有很多零钱[单身]