老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S09E05
Part 4
Oct. 22, 2020, 1:53 p.m.
They never give you enough of these things.
这些东西酒店总是给得少
Oh, my God.
我的天
Ted got us that coffeemaker,
那个咖啡机是泰德送的
and you just played it off as your gift.
你却骗我们 说那是你送的
You're a weasel. Admit it.
你个小人 承认吧
No, that's insane.
不 你在胡说
Really?
是吗
Housekeeping!
客房♥部
Conditioner thief!
有人偷护发素啦
Okay, shh, shh. Yes, I am a weasel.
好啦 安静 我是小人
I ripped the card off Ted's gift and I wrote my name on it.
我把泰德的礼物卡扯下来 写上了我的名字
Does Claudia know about this?
克劳迪娅知道这事吗
No. Please don't tell her.
不 请别告诉她
That gift was a turning point for us.
那份礼物是我们关系的转折点
I got to admit,
我得承认
I came pretty close to leaving you.
我差点就要离开你了
Bags packed, plane ticket purchased,
行李收拾好了 机票买♥♥好了
topless pics sent to your brother, the whole nine.
还把裸上身的照片发给你兄弟 一共九张呢
But seeing that you got our friends such a nice gift,
但看到你送我们朋友这么好的一份礼物
ah, it just really puts you in a whole new light.
让我对你完全另眼相看
I'm a pretty great guy.
我是一个非常好的男人
And since that day, on the foundation of that coffeemaker,
从那天开始 以那个咖啡机为基础
we've built a strong, nurturing relationship.
我们建立了稳定恩爱的夫妻关系
Well, out of respect for your marriage,
为了你的婚姻着想
I won't say anything.
我不会说什么
Say hi to Claudia when she gets out of the shower.
克劳迪娅洗完澡后 代我问声好
That's not Claudia. Good night.
那不是克劳迪娅 晚安
Tap tap.
注意啦
Look what I wrapped!
看我包了什么大礼
What?
怎么了
So, I went to give James his ring back...
我去还詹姆斯戒指
Glad you came to your senses.
真高兴你恢复理智了
You can't let being married keep you from being you.
你不能让婚姻改变真正的你
It's like Tom,
就像汤姆一样
always telling me I spend too much time at the gym.
总是跟我说 我花了太多时间健身
Exactly, isn't so wrong
就是
if you want to work out a couple times a week?
一周健身几次有什么错
Right. Or a couple times a day.
没错 或一天几次又怎么样
Or a couple times...
或一天...
A couple times a day? Really?
一天几次 真的吗
A few hours before work, a few hours after.
上班前几小时 下班后几小时
Only way to keep up the chocolate xylophone.
只有这样才能保持巧克力块般的六块腹股
Still, that's a lot of time at the gym.
但这依然是在健身房♥待了太长时间
Especially with two kids.
尤其是有两个孩子的情况下
It's like I always said to Tom,
就像我一直对汤姆说的
"I've got to stay in shape
"我得随时保持身材
in case I'm ever single again."
以防我又单身了"
And, hello, I was right.
你瞧 我是对的
Oh, my God.
我的天
I think I finally understand what Lily was mumbling
我终于明白了之前莉莉在我神游太虚时
in my peripheral vision earlier.
嘟哝了什么了
I'm marrying Robin
我要娶罗宾
so I can be part of a team,
我要组建一个家庭
not just some guy alone at a gym
而不是沦为拥有令人惊叹腹肌
with admittedly amazing abs.
却孤单在健身房♥里健身的男人
Thanks, bro.
多谢了 兄弟
No. Thank you, bro.
不 多谢你 兄弟
You're not getting this ring.
这枚戒指不还了
I'm always gonna have your back.
我会永远站在你这边 支持你
No matter what.
无论发生什么事
Thank you.
谢谢
I love you. I love you, too.
我爱你 我也爱你
I almost didn't tell you the best part!
我差点忘了告诉你最精彩的部分
There's more! Really?
精彩在后面 是吗
James, let me spell this out for you:
詹姆斯 我跟你直说算了
now that I've got Robin,
现在我有了罗宾
we are not brothers anymore.
我们就不再是兄弟了
What?!
什么
If you and Robin are both
如果你和罗宾同时
ever hanging from a cliff
挂在悬崖上
and I have one hand free,
而我只有一只手空着
enjoy the fall.
祝你摔得开心
Uh, buh-bye.
拜拜了您呐
If you... Oh, mom! Good!
如果你... 妈 太好了
You should hear this, too.
你也应该听听
This mother-son thing-- it's over.
咱俩的母子关系 也到此为止
It's been a nice few decades,
这几十年我们过得很开心
but I've got a wife now,
但现在老子要娶老婆了
so you mean nothing to me.
所以你对我来说屁都不是了
Oh, and me coming over
还有想让我回家
for Thanksgiving and Christmas,
过感恩节和圣诞节
That's done!
想都别想
No more of that!
那已经成为历史
And you know why?
知道为什么吗
Because Robin said so!
因为罗宾说了算
This came directly from her!
这是她亲口说的
See ya, losers!
再见 废柴们
Oh, my God.
我的天
Fiance of the year?
年度最佳未婚夫吧
I think I know what's next. Oh, God.
我知道奖励是什么 我的天
Oh, god. I can't leave this room for the rest of the weekend.
我的天 这周末我不能出这房♥间了
I'm sure we can find something to do, eh?
我想我们肯定也不会闲着的 对吧
Ted, I'm so sorry!
泰德 太对不起了
No, I'm sorry.
不 是我对不起
I shouldn't have spent the last six years passive-aggressively
我不应该在过去六年以退为进
drinking gallons of coffee around you.
在你身边喝无数杯咖啡试图点醒你
And I shouldn't have taken that sewing class
我不应该上那个缝纫课
to learn how to make that wedding present costume.
学习制♥作♥那件结婚礼物万圣节服装
I regret all of it. Me, too!
我后悔死了 我也是
Except I actually don't regret that sewing class.
不过我并不后悔上缝纫课
I learned a fun and useful lifetime skill.
我学会了有趣有用的终生技能
But, seriously, even without the coffeemaker,
但说真的 就算你没送咖啡机
you've given us more than enough.
你给予我们的也够多了
Well, there is one more gift on the way.
还有一份礼物马上就到
Whatever it is, send it back.
无论是什么 退回去吧
It's a little late for that.
现在说有点晚了
Marshall Eriksen?!
你是马修·艾利克森吗
Yes?!
是的
I got your pizza!
我给你送披萨来了
Oh, Ted!
泰德
You are the best friend ever!
有你这种好友 此生无憾
Don't say another word, Marshall.
大恩不言谢 马修
Save it for the thank you note.
只需回我一张感谢函便可
You got it, buddy!
没问题 兄弟
And, kids,
孩子们
I got that thank you note four months later.
我四个月后才收到他的感谢函
Four months.
整整晚了四个月啊
Uh, here's your blouse back.
还你衣服
Is there any way we could just, um...
有没有办法
forget about all this?
让我们忘记这事
Oh, no, dear, you keep the blouse.
不用了 亲爱的 衣服你留着
Think of it as your consolation prize.
就当作是安慰奖吧
Consolation prize?
安慰奖
You won the battle.
你赢得了战役
But I'll win the war.
但我将赢得战争
Game on, bitch.
那就开战吧 贱♥人♥
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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