老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S04E01
Part 1
Oct. 30, 2020, 3:30 p.m.
Kids, here's something I wish my dad had told me.
孩子们 有件事我希望我老爸能告诉我
The longest pause you will ever experience in your life
你生命中最漫长的一个瞬间
is the one that follows asking the question...
是在问完这个问题之后
Will you marry me?
你愿意嫁给我吗
Your brain goes into overdrive,
你的大脑会飞速转动
imagining every possible response.
想象出无数可能的回答
No.
不会
Oh, God, no.
哦 天啊 当然不会了
You want me to marry... No.
你 想让我嫁给你 怎么可能
I'm sorry, Ted. I can't.
对不起 泰德 我不能嫁你
Mark Johnson, the quarterback from your high-school football team,
马克•约翰逊 你高中时期的橄榄球队四分卫
already asked me.
已经向我求过婚了
What's up, Turd? It's Ted!
嘿 怎么样 屎蛋 我叫泰德
But if you're lucky,
但是如果你足够幸运的话
she may answer with
她也许会回答
the single greatest word in the English language.
那个英语中最伟大的单词
Yes.
愿意
Stella and I spent that summer happily engaged.
订婚后斯黛拉和我开心地度过了一整个夏天
Marshall was still coping with un employment.
马修还是处于无业状态
What are you doing?
你俩干啥呢
Lily threw herself into her painting.
莉莉沉浸于自己的绘画之中
What are you doing?
你干啥呢
Barney was rehabilitating from his bus accident.
巴尼在进行车祸后的康复训练
What are you doing?
你干啥呢
And, well, Marshall just kept coping with unemployment.
而马修 依然处于无业状态
What are you doing?
你又在干啥呢
And Robin continued to uphold
罗宾继续在都市新闻一台
the high journalistic standards of Metro News 1.
以一流新闻记者的标准要求自己
Is your favorite brand of
你最喜爱的牙线品牌
dental floss poisoning your entire family?
是否正在毒害你的整个家庭呢
Tune in at 11:00 for the shocking tooth.
晚上十一点请准时收看节目 令人震惊的 牙齿
Okay, I officially hate my job.
好吧 我从根本上憎恨我的工作
I'm not a reporter, I'm just
我不是一个播报员 我只是个
someone who shows up at night and scares people.
晚上九点准时出现吓唬大伙的人
I'm the boogeyman with a teleprompter.
我是一个拿着提词器的恐怖夜魔
"Boogeyman with a teleprompter. "
拿着提词器的恐怖夜魔
That's hilarious! Great joke, Robin, great joke.
笑死了 笑话好棒 罗宾 真是个好笑话
Barney, no offense to Robin, but that wasn't that funny.
巴尼 没有冒犯罗宾的意思 但也不至于那么有趣吧
Are you kidding? That was a great joke.
你开什么玩笑 多么有趣的笑话啊
It's smart, funny, beautiful, it's the whole package.
它智慧 有趣 美丽 整体都很棒
It's everything you're afraid to let yourself want.
是一切让你欲罢不能的根源
In a joke.
我说的是这个笑话
"Boogeyman with a teleprompter. " That's classic.
拿着提词器的恐怖夜魔 真是经典啊
Okay, what is so urgent that you called me and
好吧 到底是什么紧急事件让你
begged me to come over at 7:22 in the morning?
在大清早七点二十二分就打电♥话♥求着我过来
I could tell you knew something was up with me, and you're right.
我知道你觉得我有些反常 你是对的
But I can't tell you what it is
但是我不能告诉你原因
I should tell you, but I can't! I have to. I never will!
我应该告诉你 但是我不能说 我得说 我绝对不会说的
I'm going to. Let's just drop it. What's up with you?
我就要说啦 算了还是让事情过去吧 你最近怎么样
Barney, just say it.
巴尼 你就说吧
I think I'm in love with Robin.
我觉得 我爱上罗宾了
Hey, Lily needs some gift ideas for Stella's wedding shower.
嘿 莉莉需要一些关于斯黛拉单身派对礼物的建议
Does she like to cook?
她爱烹饪吗
Actually, I don't know. What's her favorite color?
实际上 我不知道 那她最喜欢的颜色呢
Don't know that, either. Well, does she have any hobbies?
我也不知道 好吧 那她有什么爱好吗
Yes, she's exactly the kind of person who would have hobbies.
有啊 她就是那种有很多爱好的人
And interests, too. I am one lucky son of a bitch.
还有很多兴趣 我真是一个幸运的小混♥蛋♥啊
Dude, you don't know anything about the woman you're marrying.
哥们 你对这个快嫁给你的女人一点都不了解啊
What? You're crazy! I know plenty. What color are her eyes?
才不是呢 我知道的可多了 她眼睛是什么颜色的
The color of the ocean after a storm. Which is?
暴风雨过后海洋的颜色 所以是
Beautiful.
很漂亮
I don't believe it.
真不敢相信
I thought you called me over
我以为你叫我过来
here to uncuff you from your sex swing again,
是为了让我再次给你解开拴在性♥爱♥秋千上的结呢
but you're in love? That is so sweet!
但是你竟然坠入爱河了 那太甜蜜啦
It's not sweet. It's like a disease.
一点也不甜蜜 这就像是一种病
I slept with Robin one time and I caught feelings.
我只睡了罗宾一次 就被传染上了情欲之毒
I caught feelings bad. I used protection and everything.
情欲之毒已经侵入了我的骨髓 我什么措施都做了
Barney, you don't catch feelings,
巴尼 你没有中情欲之毒
you just have them. And they're good.
你本来就有七情六欲 他们是有益的
They're terrible! I can't eat, I can't sleep.
他们糟透了 我吃不下饭 我睡不着觉
She's all I think about. I close my eyes, I see Robin.
她就是我脑海中的一切 当我闭上眼睛 眼前浮现的是罗宾
I... I hear a song, it reminds me of Robin. Morning.
我听到的歌♥ 总会让我想起罗宾 早上好
I sleep with that chick, I'm thinking about Robin.
我和那个小妞睡觉 脑子里想的还是罗宾
Okay, so I don't know every single detail about Stella.
好吧 我不是对斯黛拉的所有细节都了如指掌
What's this really about? Do you not like her or something?
你到底是什么意思 难道你不喜欢她吗
No, Ted, I like Stella a lot.
不 泰德 我非常喜欢斯黛拉
She's a Mets fan. Really?
她是大都会俱乐部的球迷 真的吗
It's just that everything with you guys has moved so fast.
只是你们之间发展得有点太快了
You've only known each other a few months.
你们才刚认识了几个月啊
Don't you think maybe you should slow things down a little bit?
你不觉得该把节奏放慢一点吗
Get to know each other better?
更好的了解一下对方
I'll have a whole lifetime to get to know her better.
我将有一生的时间来更好的了解她
Right now, I know the one thing that I have to, that I love her.
现在 我只知道一件事 那就是我爱她
You love her? Barney, how can you be in love
你爱她 巴尼 你怎么能在坠入爱河的情况下
and still be sleeping with anything that moves?
还和其他会动的物体睡觉呢
I'm sorry, I don't follow you.
不好意思 我没有明白你的意思
That's like saying,
那就像是说
"How can an ant carry 20 times its body weight,
蚂蚁为什么能承受重于自己20倍的物体
"But root beer floats are still delicious?"
但是冰淇淋沙士却那么的好喝
Are the two even related? Really?
这两件事有关系吗 真的吗
Ow!
嗷
Barney, you're going to have to stop screwing around
巴尼 你必须停止四处乱搞
if you want to be Robin's boyfriend.
如果你还想成为罗宾的男朋友的话
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Boyfriend?
哇哦 男朋友吗
I don't want to be Robin's "Boyfriend. "
我才不想当罗宾的男朋友呢
Well, what do you want, then?
那你想要什么呢
I don't know. I just want to be with her. All the time.
我不知道 我只是想无时无刻的陪在她身边
I want to hear about her day and tell her about mine.
我想要倾听她的生活 然后再向她倾诉我的
I want to hold her hand and smell her hair.
我想要握着她的手 沉浸在她的发香之中
But I don't want to be her stupid boyfriend.
但是我才不想当她傻不啦叽的男朋友呢
Barney, what you just described
巴尼 你刚刚讲的
is a relationship between a boyfriend and a girlfriend.
就是男女朋友关系啊
And a pretty clingy one at that.
而且还是黏糊糊的那种
Look, Lily, are you going to help me out with this or not?
听着 莉莉 你到底帮不帮我这个忙啊
I'm a kindergarten teacher.
我是个幼儿园老师
I see a confused little kid
当我看见一个迷糊的小孩子
in the corner trying to eat the lefty scissors,
坐在角落里想要吃掉一半剪刀
I gotta help the poor little bastard.
我就得帮助那个可怜的小混♥蛋♥
But only if you stop sleeping around. Deal?
但是别再乱睡女人了 成交吗
Deal.
成交
Coming up next,
接下来报道
is your local ice-cream man
你们当地卖♥♥冰淇淋的人
actually driving a roving meth lab on wheels?
是否正驾驶着一间车轮上的流动冰♥毒♥制售点呢
Stay tuned for the full scoop.
敬请关注详细内容
Really?
搞什么啊
Uhhuh? Mmm.
怎么样 嗯
I know dudes think it's girlie for a guy to cook, but us ladies?
我知道男人们觉得男的做饭很娘 但对我们女人来说
We find it mighty sexy. Really?
我们会认为这样很性感哦 真的吗
You know, my grandma taught me how.
你知道吗 我祖母教我怎么做饭的
Oh, yeah, she did. Yeah.
哦 是的 她教你的 是啊
Yeah, I had a lot of time after school to watch her cook,
我放学后有大把的时间看她怎么做饭
because I wasn't good at sports. I'm on fire right now.
因为我体育不怎么好 我现在是欲♥火♥焚身了
Delicious. What's in this pesto?
真好吃 你在调味汁里放了什么啊
You know, the usual. Basil, garlic, olive oil.
你知道的 正常配方 罗勒 大蒜 橄榄油
But can you guess my secret ingredients?
但是 猜猜我的秘密调料是什么
Peanuts. Yes. How did you know that?
花生 是的 你怎么知道的
Okay, let me think. What else? You know what, sweetie?
好吧 让我想想还有什么 你知道吗 亲爱的
I woke up so early, and I had a really long day at work.
我今天起得很早 而且白天工作了很久
And then there was that whole thing where you tried to kill me.
再加上刚刚你差点就把我杀了
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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