老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S09E14
Part 2
Oct. 22, 2020, 1:55 p.m.
Think of it as a high five. Okay.
想成是单纯的击掌 好吧
For your stupid face.
击到你的傻♥逼♥脸上
So, anyway, I'm in the noodle house...
所以我去了面店
I'll admit.
我承认
I didn't expect Red Bird,
我没想到红雀大♥师♥
Master of Speed, to be a girl.
速度大♥师♥ 会是女孩
You sure you really know how to...?
你确定你知道如何...
What is the sound of one hand slapping?
单手扇巴掌的声音是怎样的
I'm sorry, I don't understa...
抱歉 我不知道
Wait, how did you...?
等等 你怎么做到...
Lucky shot, I wasn't ready...
你运气好 我刚刚没准备...
You know, that tip isn't a full 20%...
你给的小费 不是百分之二十...
Train me, Red Bird.
训练我吧 红雀大♥师♥
Teach me speed.
教会我速度的秘诀
No.
不
I retired long ago.
我很久之前就退休了
Retired? You're like, 32.
退休 你才32岁左右吧
I am 86 years old.
我86岁了
But slapping is now a part of my past.
但巴掌什么的已经是过去的事了
Darn, I really wanted to slap Barney Stinson.
靠 我还想狠狠地扇巴尼·斯丁森一巴掌呢
This is to slap Barney Stinson?
你是想扇巴尼·斯丁森吗
Yeah, okay. I'll totally teach you.
好吧 我一定好好教你
And so began my training.
我的修行就这样开始了
Slap this tree.
扇这棵树
Slap the tree?
扇这棵树吗
If you can.
你行就上吧
Seems pretty easy.
感觉挺简单啊
What the...?
怎么回事
The fabled Slapping Tree of Gongqing Forest.
这就是传说中生长在共青森林的巴掌树
Beg your pardon.
你等一下
The "Fabled Slapping Tree
传说中生长在共青森林的
of Gongqing Forest"? Sure.
巴掌树 没错
Really? "Fabled."
真的假的 还传说中的
'Cause I've never heard of it.
反正我是从来没听说过
I'm pretty sure everybody's heard of it.
我想其他人应该都知道吧
Guys? Yup.
对不对 对
Totally, yeah. I backpacked there in college.
大学时还去旅游过呢
See?
听见没
Fabled. It even inspired
就是传说中的 有一本
a popular Chinese children's book.
著名的中文童话就是写它的
It's a poignant parable
是一个寓言故事
whose message, is if you love someone, set them free.
告诉我们如果真爱一个人 就给他自♥由♥
But not before first
但放手之前
slapping them right in their stupid face.
记得往他们的傻♥逼♥脸上扇一巴掌
As my training continued,
我的修行继续进行
I also learned the delicate art of Chinese painting.
我同时也学习了美妙的中国国画艺术
That looks nothing like this bowl of fruit!
这画和水果静物一点关系都没有好吧
My training went on for a year.
我的修行持续了一年
A year? A year.
一年 一年
One year? None of us noticed
整整一年 我们都没发现
you were stuck in Shanghai for a year?
你被困在上海吗
I wasn't being held slaptive,
我不是被巴掌胁迫困在上海的
I chose to stay and complete my training.
我是为了完成修行自愿留下的
I'm not even gonna...
我连吐槽的力气都没有
Just, whatever.
总之 随便啦
You have shown great slaptitude, young one.
你的巴掌已修♥炼♥圆♥满♥ 年轻人
You are ready for your final test.
你可以进行最后的考验了
Slap me.
扇我巴掌
What?
什么
Slap me, now!
扇我巴掌 马上
No, Red Bird, I can't.
不 红雀大♥师♥ 我办不到
Slap me-- that is not a request.
赶紧扇我 我这不是在请求你
I won't!
我不能那么做
The Vikings will never win the Super Bo...
维京人队永远赢不了超级碗
Wait, how did you...?
等等 你怎么做到...
Lucky shot. I wasn't re...
你运气好 我刚刚没准备...
That's a big tip.
你给了好多小费
You must have much gold.
你一定带了不少金子吧
You are ready for your final step.
现在你只剩下最后一步了
Awesome! Oh, man!
太好了
I can't wait to slap Barney Stinson
我都等不及要给巴尼·斯丁森
right across his stupid fa...
那张傻♥逼♥脸上好好来一
What? What did I say?
干嘛 我说了什么
You must not slap anyone until your training is complete.
在你的修行完成之前 谁也不准打
The consequences could be dire.
否则后果将会极其严重
First, you must meet White Flower,
首先 你必须去找白花大♥师♥
the second master, who will teach you strength.
第二位大♥师♥ 她会教导你如何获得力度
She lives atop a mountain.
她住在高山顶上
Which mountain?
什么山
No, not Witch Mountain.
不 不是神马山
Slap Mountain.
是五指巴掌山
Hate to cut in again here, but...
抱歉再次打断你 不过
Slap Mountain? That's right.
五指巴掌山吗 没错
You're claiming there's a mountain in China
你是说中国真的有一座山
in the exact shape of a hand?
正好是巴掌的形状
Everyone knows that. Right, guys? True.
这事大家都知道 对吧 对
Totally. I backpacked there in college.
大学时还去那里旅游过
It's the largest of the Slappalachian Mountains.
那是五指山脉中最大的一座山
And at the top...
而在山顶上
Excuse me? Uh, do you know
打扰一下 请问你知道
where I can find White Flower?
白花大♥师♥在哪里吗
How dare you speak that name?
你怎么敢说出这个名字
That is the most feared name in 40 villages!
这是周围40个村落都最害怕的名字
Really? "White Flower"?
真的吗 害怕白花
I'm sorry, it's just, it's not exactly Voldemort.
抱歉 可这又不像伏地魔那么可怕
Bro!
老弟
Why don't yo just say "Candyman"
你干嘛不直接念3遍"糖果人"的名字
three times and be done with it? Geez!
然后直接坐着等死 真是的
Awesome!
太棒了
Can-can you teach me how to do that?
你可以教我刚才那招吗
No, I retired from teaching long ago.
不 我已经退休不收学生好多年了
Retired? You're like, 32.
退休 你看起来才32岁吧
I am 106 years old.
我已经106岁了
What is in these noodles?
这面条里到底有什么秘方
I'm sorry, but my slapping days are over.
抱歉 但我的巴掌岁月已经结束了
Darn, I really wanted
靠 我还打算
this next Barney Stinson slap to be special.
下一次扇巴尼·斯丁森巴掌时能特别一点
This is to slap Barney Stinson? Mmm.
你是要扇巴尼·斯丁森吗
Yeah, okay, I'll totally teach you.
好吧 我会全力教导你
The true power of any slap
每个巴掌的真正力量
comes from the anger behind it.
来自隐藏在背后的愤怒
So for a truly devastating slap,
所以要扇出毁灭性的巴掌
you must harvest the anger of many.
你必须收集大量的愤怒之情
Every time someone who hates Barney slaps you in the face,
每当一个讨厌巴尼的人扇你巴掌时
the power of their anger goes from your face
他们愤怒的力量就会从你的脸上
into your hand.
汇集到你手掌心
White Flower and I made love that night in the forest.
那天夜里 白花大♥师♥和我在森林里做了爱
No, sorry. Flag on the play.
对不起 你这也太假了
You banged White Flower?
你搞了白花大♥师♥吗
I made love to White Flower.
是做♥爱♥ 不是搞
And then I banged her.
然后我也上了她
In the forest? In Gongqing Forest, yes.
在森林里 就在共青森林中
Actually right near the Slapping Tree.
其实就在巴掌树旁边
Which may or may not have come into play.
貌似它好像也参与了其中
Oh, my God, you had a tree-way?
我的天 你玩了树人行吗
And, Lily, you were okay with Marshall having an affair?
莉莉 你对马修出轨的事也不介意
What happens in the magical Gongqing Forest
共青森林发生的事
stays in the magical Gongqing Forest.
就留在共青森林里好了
Best wife ever.
史上最好的老婆 没有之一
Like I was saying,
就像我之前说的
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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