老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S09E12
Part 3
Oct. 22, 2020, 1:54 p.m.
I could be in on it, too.
也许这事我也有份
'Course you could, Lil.
你觉得可能吗 莉莉
I can keep a secret.
我很擅长保守秘密
Lily, don't make me laugh.
莉莉 你别逗我了
I'd trust you with a secret
你守不住秘密
as much as I'd trust Marshall with Pop Secret.
就像马修忍♥不住要吃流行秘密牌爆米花一样
I can keep a secret!
我能守住秘密
I can keep a secret real good.
我非常擅长保守秘密
I can keep a secret like nobody's business,
我能把一个秘密保守成高级机密
'cause it is nobody's business.
因为它不关任何人的事
'Cause it's a secret,
因为它是秘密
and I'm keeping it!
而我就要保密
Does Marshall shave his back?
马修会自己剃背上的体毛吗
No, I shave it for him. Damn it!
不 我帮他剃 该死的
I should call Marshall.
我应该问问马修
I bet he's in on this.
他肯定知情
If he really exists.
如果他真存在的话
Setting aside the fact that I've kept your whole
先不说你要去芝加哥的秘密
"Moving to Chicago" thing a secret,
我守口如瓶
aren't you supposed to be dressed like Liberace right now?
你今晚不是应该打扮成列勃拉斯吗
Okay, first of all,
首先
if I showed up in costume,
如果我现在就穿成那样
it would steal from the surprise and spectacle
到时候华丽出场的惊艳感和壮丽感
of my grand entrance.
就没有了
And second of all, I'm not doing that.
其次 我不干了
Why not?
为什么
Because dressing like Liberace is easy, but...
因为打扮成列勃拉斯不难 但是...
Uh, yes, 4/4, E-sharp...
好的 四四拍 升E调
major...
主大调...
Let's make something beautiful, shall we?
让我们来演奏一些美妙的音乐吧
I think that's enough for today.
不如今天就这样吧
Okay, I figured out how this is gonna go down.
我知道这次惊喜的具体安排了
We're gonna "run out" of ice,
首先 冰块"用完"了
and Robin's gonna ask me to go get some,
罗宾就会叫我出去买♥♥
and lo and behold, the only place that sells ice
猜猜怎么样 整个镇上唯一卖♥♥冰的地方
in this whole town is right next to the local laser taggery.
隔壁刚好就是当地的激光枪战场
I go inside and...
我进去之后...
Surprise!
惊喜
Beautiful dinner, family and friends,
美味的晚餐 朋友们家人们都在
free game tokens and an Off-Road arcade game
游戏币免费拿 还有越野赛车游戏机
that's rigged for unlimited turbos!
被调整过可以无限涡轮加速
That is the single stupidest...
这个主意实在是太蠢...
Guys, you aren't gonna believe this.
简直难以置信
The ice machine is broken.
制冰机居然坏了
Is it now?
是吗
Well, dog my cats, what are the chances?
喵了个咪 居然会这么巧
Huh? What do we do?
所以要怎么办呢
Well, I guess I could go get some ice.
好吧 我可以去买♥♥点冰回来
Uh, no, they'll send someone.
不用了 他们会派人送的
All right, fine. Twist my arm. I'll do it.
好吧 你强迫我吧 我愿意
But seriously, Hmm?
不过说真的
did you get everything set up over there?
那边真的都准备好了吗
Do you have enough food, have enough guns?
食物够吗 枪的数量够吗
Did you get a vest extender for Grandma Stinson? She's...
给斯丁森奶奶备好加大感应衣了吗 她...
What are you talking about?
你到底在说什么啊
Oh, babe, you're so good at this. I love it.
亲爱的 你演技真棒 好爱你
All right, I'll see you guys over there.
行了 我们到时候见
I mean, be right back.
说错了 我马上回来
Barney, Barney, this is our rehearsal dinner, okay?
巴尼 巴尼 彩排晚宴马上就开始了
Do not leave the premises.
不许离开场地
Promise me you're not going anywhere.
向我保证你不会去其他地方
Fine.
好吧
Say it.
说出来
Say you promise you won't leave.
说 你保证不会离开
I promise I won't leave.
我保证不会离开
So I left. And what do you know,
然后我离开了 你知道吗
the ice store is right next to a laser tag place!
卖♥♥冰的地方真的在一家激光枪战旁边
No, it isn't! It's six miles away
完全不是 隔了六英里
he opposite direction.
而且还是反方向
And I told you not to go!
而且我说了不让你去
Yeah, well, you also told me
可是你还说过
didn't want a ring bear at the wedding.
婚礼的时候不想要戒熊
Ring bear-er!
戒童
We all know how great that's gonna be. The point is,
谁都知道肯定没好结果 重点是
I played along with her plan,
我佯装被她骗过了
and I acted "natural" so I wouldn't spoil the surprise.
表现得很"自然" 以免毁掉惊喜
Oh, my goodness!
我的天啊
Laser tag?!
激光酒吧
Maybe I should go in here for a minute,
也许我应该进去一下
just check it out for no apparent reason.
没什么 就随便看看
And what's this?
这是什么
My hands-free token satchel?
解放双手的游戏币专用包
And my free lifetime refill root beer mug?
还有一辈子免费续杯的啤酒专用杯
So for the past two months
所以过去的两个月里
when we were letting you use our apartment
每个周日晚上
to practice the piano every Sunday night,
我们都会让你用我们的公♥寓♥练琴
what were you doing?
你都干什么了
Oh, so that's not traveling 'cause he's the MVP?
只要是最有价值球员 走步犯规也没事吗
Come on!
拜托
Where's Barney? Has anyone seen him?
巴尼去哪里了 有人看到过他吗
Robin, Ted's totally bailing
罗宾 泰德不打算
on playing the piano for you and Barney.
在婚礼的时候演奏钢琴了
Oh, really? Ted, you didn't have to not do that.
真的吗 你不用发善心饶过我们的
But thank you.
不过谢谢你
But he promised! A promise is a promise.
可是他保证过 说话要算数
You can't say you're gonna do something
曾经说出的承诺
and then suddenly do something completely different!
怎么能说取消就取消
Why are you getting so worked up about this?
你怎么因为这件事这么激动
Because, obviously, I'm worked up for a different
因为我会这样 明显是为了一件
but somewhat similar reason.
类似但不一样的事情而激动
And someone should ask me about it!
你们应该问下我的
I'm sorry. I don't have time for your drama right now, Lily.
抱歉 我现在没时间听你诉苦 莉莉
My fiance is missing.
我的未婚夫不见了
Marshall got picked to be a judge.
马修接受了法官的工作
He took the job without even asking me.
他没跟我商量就接受了
Italy's off!
去不成意大利了
I have time for your drama.
我现在有空听你诉苦了
And my Italian was getting so good.
我还那么努力地学习意大利语
But wait, you guys already sublet the apartment.
等等 你们已经把公♥寓♥转租了
You're already packed.
行李都打包好了
Marshall already borrowed and lost my Rosetta Stone.
马修还借走了我的罗塞塔石 结果弄丢了
That selfish bastard!
自私的混♥蛋♥
Sorry, Lil. Hello.
抱歉莉莉 喂
Okay, I'm mad, too.
我也很生气
I should hope so.
你有理由生气
All of a sudden, his dream is more important than yours?
凭什么他的梦想就比你的梦想重要
And he did it behind your back.
而且他甚至没跟你商量一下
Bastardo!
太混烂[意大利腔]
He would never hurt me intentionally.
他肯定不是故意伤我心的
I'll hurt him intentionally.
我会故意伤他的
Molto bastardo!
无♥耻♥混♥蛋♥
That's sweet of you to say.
你这样说真是太贴心了
You could never take Marshall in a million years,
你这辈子永远不是马修的对手
but that's sweet of you to say.
但你这样说太贴心了
Well, apparently, Barney went to the laser tag place
显然 巴尼去了激光枪战场
looking for a surprise rehearsal dinner.
去找惊喜彩排晚宴
When he didn't find one, he threatened
他没找到 于是威胁
to dunk the snack bar guy's head
要把小吃店服务员的脑袋
into a vat of scalding nacho Whiz.
扣篮进一桶滚烫的干酪玉米片中
He's being held until the police arrive
他被扣留了 等警♥察♥来拘捕
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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