老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S01E01
Part 1
Aug. 2, 2021, 11:11 p.m.
2030年
孩子们，我要给你们讲一个美好的故事
Kids, I'm going to tell you an incredible story.
是关于我和你们母亲相遇的故事
the story of how I met your mother.
我们是不是做错什么事情了？
Are we being punished for something?
不是
No.
-这会不会讲很久-是的
-Is this going to take a while?-Yes.
25年前，我还没当父亲的时候我的生活可大不相同
25 years ago, before I was dad,I had this whole other life.
这可要回到2005年
It was way back to 2005.
我还只有27岁，有一份建筑师的工作和我大学时代最好的朋友Marshal合住在纽约
I was 27，just starting to make it as an architect and living in New York with Marshal, my best friend from college.
本来我的生活一切OK然后你们的Marshal叔叔把一切都搞砸了
My life was good, and then uncle Marshal went to screw the whole thing up.
你愿意嫁给我吗？
Will you marry me?
太好了，完美，你要订婚了
Yes, perfect, and you're engaged.
你开香槟，祝酒辞，然后在厨房♥地板上嘿♥咻♥
You pop up the champagne. You drink a toast. You have sex on the kitchen floor.
别在厨房♥地板上嘿♥咻♥
Don't have sex on our kitchen floor.
明白
Got it.
谢谢你帮我这个忙，Ted
Thanks for helping me plan this out, Ted.
开什么玩笑，这可是你和Lily！
Are you kidding? It's you and Lily!
你们俩所有的关键时刻我都在一旁帮助你的
I've been there for all the big moment of you and Lily.
你们第一次相见，第一次约会……
The night you met, your first date,
还有其他的“第一次”……
other first things.
呵呵，不好意思
我们还以为你睡着了呢
Sorry, we thought you were asleep.
这就是物理学，Marshal下铺摇动，上铺也会跟着摇动
It's physics, Marshal. If the bottom bunk moves, the top bunk moves, too.
上帝啊
My God!
你今晚就要订婚了
You're getting engaged tonight!
是啊
Yeah.
你今晚有什么计划？
What are you doing tonight?
我那晚干什么了来着？
What was I doing?
你们的Marshal叔叔踏出了人生的关键一步而我呢……？
Your uncle Marshal was taking the biggest step of his life. And me?
我给你们的Barney叔叔打了电♥话♥
I'm calling up your uncle Barney.
嘿，伙计，还记得我说过我对一半亚洲血统的小妞有偏好吗
Hey, see, you know, however, I thought I had a thing for half Asian girls?
现在我有新爱了
Well, now I've got a new favourite,
黎巴嫩妞儿
Lebanese girls.
黎巴嫩妞儿代表了新的半亚洲血统
Lebanese girls are the new half Asians.
嘿，今晚有什么计划没？
Hey, you want to do something tonight?
好的，15分钟后酒吧见
OK, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes,
记得穿西服！
and suit up!
嘿
Hey.
你的西装呢？
Where is your suit?
-我跟你说穿得好一点，就是说要你穿上西服！-我穿过……一回
-Just once when I say 'suit up', I wish you'd put on a suit.-I did, that one time.
那是件夹克！
It was a blazer.
你知道吗，从大学开始一直都是Marshal，Lily和我
You know, ever since college it's been Marshal and Lily and me.
而以后就会变成Marshel和Lily……和我
Now it's going to be Marshal and Lily, and me.
他们就要结婚，成家了
They'll get married, start a family.
以后我就是他们家小孩眼里古怪的中年单身汉Ted叔叔了
Before long I'm that weird, middle-aged bechalor, their kids call 'uncle Ted'.
我知道这是怎么回事了
I see what this is about.
你忘记我们第一回见面的时候我怎么跟你说的了吗？
Have you forgotten what I said to you the night we met?
Ted，我来教你怎么享受生活
Ted, I'm going to teach you how to live.
我是Barney，我们刚在小便池边认识的
Barney. We met at the urinal.
哦
Oh, alright.
你好
Alright.
第一课，跟你的山羊胡子说再见
Lesson one, lose the goatee.
它和你的西服不搭配
It doesn't go with your suit.
-我没穿西服-第二课，穿上西服
-I'm not wearing a suit.-Lesson two, get a suit.
西服很好，有模有样
Suits are cool, exhibitive.
第三课，千万别想结婚的事情……三十岁以后再说
Lesson 3, don't even think about getting married till you're 30.
三十岁，是的，你是对的
30, right, you're right.
我想当你最好的朋友订婚的时候你难免考虑一些有的没的
I guess that just your best friends get engaged, you start thinking about that stuff.
我以为我才是你最好的朋友
I thought I was your best friend.
Ted，说我才是你最好的朋友
Ted, say I'm your best friend.
-你是我最好的朋友，Barney-很好……
-You're my best friend, Barney.-Good,
作为你最好的朋友，我提议玩一点小游戏我愿意称之为……
and as your best friend, I suggest we play a little game I'd like to call
-“你见过Ted没有”-不不不，我们不玩这个游戏
-'have you met Ted'.-No, we are not playing 'have you met Ted.'
嗨，你见过Ted没有？
Hi, have you met Ted?
你好
Hi!
我是Ted
I'm Ted.
Yasmin
Yasmin.
很好听的名字
It's a very pretty name.
谢谢，这来源于黎巴嫩语
Thanks. It's Lebanese.
我都累坏了，今天是学校里的涂鸦日
I'm exhausted. It was finger painting day at school.
一个5岁的小鬼，上了我的二垒
A 5-year-old boy got to second base with me.
哇哦，你在做饭吗？
Wow, are you cooking?
是的，没错
Yes, I am.
你肯定这是个好主意吗？
Are you sure that's a good idea
要知道上回之后，你没眉毛的样子很吓人
after last time you looked really creepy without eyebrows.
我应付的来，今晚是惊喜之夜
I can handle this. So think you'll find I'm full of surprise tonight.
还有什么样的惊喜？
So there's more surprises? Like what?
Marshal正在读法律，所以他急中生智很有一套
Marshal was in the second year of law school, so he was pretty good at thinking on his feet.
就是这个
And that's all of them!
我该去……做饭了
I'm going to go cook.
我真的很为Marshal感到高兴我只是无法想象现在就成家立业
I'm so happy for Marshal. I really am. I just couldn't imagine settling down right now.
那你还会结婚吗？
So do you think you'll ever get married?
嗯，最后总会结的
Well, maybe eventually
比如在一个秋天……
Some fall day
也许在中♥央♥公园……
possibly in Central Park
仪式就简单点，我们更注重誓约
simple ceremony, we are better on vows.
乐队，不要DJ，人们各跳各的我才懒得管呢
band, no DJ, people will dance. I'm not going to worry about it.
见鬼，Marshal干嘛这么早订婚
Damn it! Why did Marshal have to get engaged!
好笑吧，一个男的想象自己的婚礼
Yeah, nothing hotter than a guy planning out his imaginary wedding.
实际上，我觉得很可爱啊
Actually I think it's cute.
看样子你肯定喝多了
Well, you're clearly drunk.
给这位小姐再来一杯
One more for the lady.
哦，对了，瞧瞧我弄了点什么
Oh, hey, look what I got.
哦，亲爱的，香槟
Oh, honey, champagne!
不行，这么大个人还怕开香槟？
No, you're too old to be scared to open a bottle of champagne.
我没害怕
I'm not scared.
-那就打开
-好的
-Then open it.
-Fine.
还是你来吧
Please open it.
老天啊，真不敢相信……
You're unbelievalbe, Marshal ...
一个男人一生中有两个重要问题会问出口
There are two big questions a man has to ask in life:
一个你要精心策划好几个月而另一个则是在某个酒吧里半醉之中脱口而出
one you planned out for months, the other just slipps out when you're half drunk at some bar.
嫁给我好吗？
Will you marry me?
想约个时间出去玩儿吗？
You want to go out sometime?
当然愿意，你个傻瓜
Of course, you idiot!
对不起，Carl是我的男朋友
I'm sorry, Carl's my boyfriend.
你好，Carl
What's up, Carl?
我答应过Ted不会这样的
I promised Ted we wouldn't do that.
你注意到冰箱底下漏水了吗？
Did you know there is a pop under your fridge?
没有，管他呢
No, but dips.
香槟在哪儿？
Where's that champagne?
我想庆祝一下
I want to drink a toast
和我的未婚妻
with my fiancee.
这有什么好怕的
Hard to know I was so scared at this.
多简单，不是吗？
It's pretty easy, right?
我怎么突然之间这么饥渴了，真荒唐。我还没准备要找老婆呢
Why am I freaking out all of a sudden. This is crazy. I'm not ready to get settled down.
Carl怎么勾搭上一个黎巴嫩小妞的
How does Carl lend a Lebanese girl?
-应该是三十岁之前不想结婚这事-没错
-The plan's always been, don't even think about it until you're 30.-Exactly.
这家伙根本就不♥穿♥西服的
The guy doesn't even own a suit.
况且，Marshel已经找到了他终生挚爱
Plus, Marshal's found the love of his life.
就算我已经准备好了，事实上我不是……
Even if I was ready, which I'm not,
但假设我想结婚了，就好像……
but if I was, it's like,
“好了，我准备了，可她在哪儿？”
'OK, I'm ready, where is she?'
她就这样出现了
And there she was.
这就好像老电影里的情节
It was like something from an old movie,
一个水手看见舞池对面的她然后转身对自己的同伴说：“瞧见那姑娘了吗？”
with a sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor, turns to his buddy, and says, 'see that girl?
“总有一天我会娶到她”
I'm going to marry her some day.'
-Barney，瞧见那姑娘了吗？-哦，是的，性感身段
-Hey, Barney, See that girl?-Oh, yeah, you just know that she likes dirty.
-过去打个招呼-我不能就这么走过去
-Go say 'hi.'-I can't just go say 'hi.'
我得有个计划
I need a plan.
我要等到她上洗手间的时候……
I'm going to wait until she goes to the bathroom.
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
剧集 | 老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005） | 导航列表