老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S09E05
Part 3
Oct. 22, 2020, 1:53 p.m.
My mom's insisting that I get Robin
我妈坚持让我叫罗宾
to give James his ring back, but Robin's refusing.
把詹姆斯的戒指还回去 但是罗宾死都不肯
But James seems like he's really upset.
但是詹姆斯似乎真的很生气
But Robin's gonna be my wife.
但是罗宾即将成为我的妻子
But James is my brother.
但是詹姆斯是我的哥哥
But Robin lets me do sex to her.
但是罗宾和我上♥床♥
But I have to spend eternity in my mom's mausoleum.
但是我死后要和我妈永远葬在一起
I just wish there was a way I didn't have to take sides!
真希望有一个办法能让我谁都不偏袒
What should I do?!
我该怎么办
Choose your wife.
选择你的妻子
You always choose your wife. Easy.
永远要选择偏袒自己的妻子 毫无难度
Got any other stumpers, like how to answer
有没有难一点问题 比如怎么回答
"Does this make me look fat?"
"我这样穿是不是显胖"
Well, maybe a little around the hips but no more than usual.
可能屁♥股♥会显大 但其实和平常没差啦
You're getting married,
你就要结婚了
so I will deal with that one after your honeymoon.
等你度完蜜月再跟你算账
And she did.
她的确这么做了
Belize was amazi...
伯利兹城太棒...[拉丁美洲国家]
In marriage, being right
在婚姻里 对错不重要
is less important than being supportive.
重要的是你们要永远支持对方
Remember, happy wife equals happy life.
记住 有好妻子才有好生活
Wow, thanks. That's some great advice, Lil.
多谢 莉莉 真是个好建议
I knew I could count on you.
我就知道可以指望你
He's gotten very respectful with his fake listening.
他的洗耳"假"听做得真到位
Anyway, Lily,
对了 莉莉
I told Marshall this already, but...
我已经告诉马修了
Don't worry about not sending a thank you note
不用再想着没给我送你们的咖啡机
for the coffeemaker. It's cool.
回感谢函的事了 真的没关系
Uh, we did send a thank you note for the coffeemaker.
可是我们的确有回感谢函呀
Uh... No, you didn't.
不 你们没有
Uh... Yes, we did.
不 我们有
To Stuart and Claudia,
是回给送我们咖啡机的
the people who gave us the coffeemaker.
斯图尔特和克劳迪娅
What?
什么
Hey, you two!
你们好呀
Hey, thanks again for that coffeemaker.
再次谢谢你们送的咖啡机
We use it all the time.
我们经常在用
Especially when Ted's over.
特别是泰德来我家的时候
Yeah, it's a great machine.
对 那机子的确很好用
We have one at home and we love it.
我们家也有一个 我们也很喜欢
Did I forget to get you a wedding gift?
我居然忘了送你们结婚礼物
What kind of monster am I?
我真是个禽兽不如
Mosbys always give wedding gifts.
莫斯比家族从不会忘记送结婚礼物
We even have an expression: "Wrap it before you tap it."
我们家族还有个说法 "包了再拍[上]"
You know, wrap the gift
就是包好礼物
before you tap the person on the shoulder
再拍别人的肩膀
and say, "Here's your gift."
说"这是送你的礼物"
I will make this right.
我会弥补的
Robin? Two things:
罗宾 有两件事
number one, are you dropping heat right now?
第一[撒尿] 你在拉屎吗
No. Great.
没有 很好
Number two.
第二[拉屎]
Nice. Thanks. Anyway,
很好 谢谢 对了
I came up with an amazing plan
我想出了一个会皆大欢喜的
that I think will make everyone happy.
绝佳计划
Step one,
第一步
you let my mom win the ring back in a hand of poker.
你和我妈打牌 让她把戒指赢回去
Step two...
第二步
No, that's all the steps.
没了 就这一步
What do you think?
你觉得怎样
So your plan is you do absolutely nothing
你的计划就是你完全
to get your fiance's back.
不站在你未婚妻这边
Okay. Let me propose a different plan.
好吧 我也有个计划
Step one...
第一步
Good game, everybody!
玩得真开心 各位
And that's all the steps.
就这一步 没了
That's a really pretty bra, mom.
妈 你的内衣真好看
Well, I'd better leave now before I lose
趁我还没有彻底输掉尊严之前
any more of my dignity,
我还是退出吧
The likelihood of which is increasing
在这个寒冷的房♥间里
every moment in this very chilly room.
我觉得我十分可能会输个精光
Not good, Robin.
这样不对 罗宾
Very not good.
非常不对
How do you keep winning, anyway?
你怎么能一直赢呢
Well, to the keen observer,
对于一个敏锐的观察者
all of you Stinsons have the same very subtle tell.
你们家的人都有一个共同的特点
Whenever you're bluffing,
每次你们虚张声势的时候
you say the word "Bluff."
你们会说"诈"这个词
Hey, I'm hungry. Uh...
我饿了
should we get some bluffalo wings?
我们能叫些诈鸡翅吗[辣鸡翅]
Raise you $20.
加注20
When I walked in,
我一进门的时候
I saw an all-you-can-eat bluffet.
就看到有包吃到饱的"诈餐"[自助餐]
Raise $50.
加注50
Mmm... I could use a bluffberry muffin.
我想吃个"诈莓松糕"
A blueberry bluffin. Sorry.
是蓝莓诈糕 不好意思
A bluebluffy muffbluff. All in.
蓝诈诈糕 全下
I don't believe it.
简直不敢相信
Robin, you've got to give her that blouse back.
罗宾 你得把她的上衣还给她
She loves that blouse.
她很喜欢那件衣服
She got those sequins
衣服上的亮片是她从
from Rick James...'s open casket.
瑞克·詹姆斯的灵柩里抠的
Nope. Not happening.
不 不还
Woman, as your bridegroom, I command you!
小妞 作为你的新郎 我命令你
We'll leave and give you guys some privacy.
我们这些外人还是回避吧
you, uh,
你想要
want to take back that "I command you" thing?
撤回刚才的"命令"吗
Please can I?
我可以吗
Why is this so important to you?
为什么这件事对你这么重要
Because it's my family.
因为他们是我的家人
And, so help me, you and I will never have sex again
我发誓 以后都不会再和你上♥床♥
if you don't give back their bluff.
除非你把"诈西"还给他们
Stuff! Damn it.
"东西" 我靠
Look, I just... I want to feel like
我只是想让你偶尔也偏袒下我
you're on my side once in a while. That's all.
站在我这边 仅此而已
Look, I'm gonna be your wife, for god's sakes.
我的老天 我马上就要成为你妻子了
But, look, If it's...
算了
If it's that important to you, here.
如果这对你真的很重要 给
Do what you want.
由你处置
Thank you.
谢谢
And please don't play strip poker with my mom again.
拜托以后别和我妈玩脱衣扑克了
It's all kinds of confusing.
场面实在是太凌乱了
Oh, that's where my phone is.
我的手♥机♥在这里呢
I wasn't eavesdropping.
我没偷听哦
Hey, baby.
宝贝
Lily, we were wrong the whole time.
莉莉 原来我们一直搞错了
Ted got us the coffeemaker! He's a wonderful man!
咖啡机是泰德送的 他真是个好人
What? No. Claudia and Stuart gave us our coffeemaker.
不 是克劳迪娅和斯图尔特送的
Ted's a rat bastard! Never mention his name again!
泰德那个混♥蛋♥ 以后别在我面前提起他
Your coffeemaker? Ted got you that.
你的咖啡机 的确是泰德送的
I was with him when he bought it.
我当时还陪他去买♥♥呢
I don't know what to feel!
我不知道作何感受了
But Stuart said he got it for us.
斯图尔特说是他买♥♥的
Stuart and claudia checked in.
斯图尔特和克劳迪娅刚入住了
I saw them in the lobby.
我在大厅看到他们了
Let's go get to the bottom of this.
让我们去弄个明白
Stuart,
斯图尔特
No B.S., did you really get us that coffeemaker for our wedding?
别废话 那咖啡机真的是你送的结婚礼物吗
Of course.
当然了
What a crazy thing to ask.
你居然这么问 太过分了
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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