老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S07E01
Part 1
Oct. 22, 2020, 2:15 p.m.
Kids, if there's one big theme to this story--
孩子们 在我们快要接近结局
and I swear, we're totally, almost,
却又没那么快结尾的故事中
not really all that close to the end-- it's timing.
有一个贯穿始终的主题 就是机缘
Timing is everything.
机缘至关重要
For example, I never would met your mother
比如 如果不是去参加婚礼
if it weren't for a wedding.
我就不会遇到你们的母亲
The last wedding I ever thought I'd be at.
那场最出乎我意料的婚礼
What do you think of this tie?
你觉得这条领带如何
Oh, thank God.
感谢上帝
Barney Stinson needs you right before his wedding,
我还以为巴尼·史丁森在婚礼前的召唤
you assume there's at least one dead hooker in the closet,
是让我帮他处理藏在衣橱里的妓♥女♥尸体
right?
对不对啊
Is this one better?
这条有好一点吗
Look, the tie is great,
这条领带棒极了
And, you know, it's perfectly normal
你只是在婚礼前有点小紧张
to have some pre-wedding jitters.
这种现象很正常
I'm not having jitters.
我不是紧张
It just occurs to me that once I put this tie on,
我只是想到 一旦我系上这条领带
I can never take it off.
就不能摘掉了
I have to wear this tie forever and ever.
我就得一生一世系着它
And sure, this tie's skinny now,
虽然这条领带现在很苗条
but what happens if it gets fat and starts bossing me around?
万一它变胖了 对我呼来喝去怎么办
Did I make a mistake?
我会不会做了个错误的决定
Would I have been happier with the other tie?
要是系别的领带 我会更开心吗
Ted, can I tell you a big secret?
泰德 我能告诉你个天大的秘密吗
Yeah, of course.
当然
I'm not really talking about the tie.
我说的其实不是领带
No, I got that, Barney.
我明白 巴尼
I wonder if this whole thing's a disaster.
我在想这整件事会不会是场灾难
What if this is the worst wedding ever?
如果变成史上最烂的婚礼怎么办
Not possible.
不可能
We've already been to the worst wedding ever.
我们已经参加过史上最烂的婚礼了
Punchy's wedding.
小粉拳的婚礼
Marshall really took a two flusher on that one.
马修简直把它毁得一干二净
The story of how Uncle Marshall ruined
马修叔叔毁了
my friend Punchy's wedding
我朋友小粉拳婚礼的故事
starts in September, 2011.
发生在2011年9月
Punchy had asked me to be his best man.
小粉拳邀请我做他的伴郎
Guys, before we go, would you mind
各位 走之前你们介不介意
reading my wedding toast?
听我读一遍婚礼致辞
Oh, yeah, no problem. Sure.
没问题 当然可以
Um, all right, if I have to.
好吧 反正没得选
All right.
好吧
There's a few different versions.
人家准备了各种不同的版本嘛
Ted, why are you working so hard on this toast?
泰德 你干嘛这么大费周章地写祝词
Punchy belched his proposal
人家小粉拳是在保龄球馆
through a karaoke mic at a bowling alley.
随便拿个唱K的话筒求的婚
Okay, look, I've never told you guys this,
好吧 我从没跟你们说过
but over the years, a few of my old high school buddies
但这几年来 我一些高中旧友
have asked me to give wedding toasts,
纷纷邀请我在婚礼上致辞
and they haven't gone great.
结果场面都不太好看
Somehow those weddings all fell smack-dab
不知怎地 那些婚礼恰恰
in the worst moments of my life.
碰上了我人生最悲剧的时刻
Joel and Mora's love is a beautiful thing.
琼尔和莫拉的爱情是美好的
I thought I had that...
我原以为我也拥有
till my fiancee left me at the altar last week.
结果我的未婚妻上周在圣坛上离我而去
I was asked not to talk about this, so I won't.
他们不让我说起这个 所以我就不说了
I sit outside her house at night sometimes.
我有时夜里会坐在她家门外
She got a haircut.
她剪头发了
After I lost my job last week,
上周我失业了之后
uh, I was asked not to give this toast...
他们就不让我宣读祝词了
No, no, no!
不 我要说
The happy couple needs to hear this.
幸福的夫妻需要听到这句话
Things end.
好花不常开 好景不长在
But from the ashes of your statistically
就数据统计而言 你俩很可能离婚
probable divorce,
然后形影单只 孤独终老
hope can rise anew.
但枯木终逢春
That is why I'm starting my own architecture firm--
因此我准备开创我自己的建筑公♥司♥
Mosbius Designs.
莫比斯设计公♥司♥[Mosbius 法国国宝级艺术家]
Mosbius Designs has failed.
莫斯比设计公♥司♥关门大吉
But Alex and Jessica's love reminds us that...
但是艾利克斯和杰西卡的爱情 提醒着我们
Oh, God!
我的天
Classic Schmosby.
尿斯比经典时刻
Whoa. Punchy posted the low points of your life online?
小粉拳把你人生的低潮期都放在网上
Oh, not just that.
没那么简单
** Mosbius Designs has failed *
* 莫斯比设计公♥司♥ 关门大吉
** But Alex and Jessica's love reminds us that...*
* 但是艾利克斯和杰西卡的爱情 提醒我们
** Tha-tha-tha-tha-tha...*
* 我我我我们
Oh, God!
我的天
So now I seem like a total train wreck
所以现在我在所有高中旧友的心目中
to all my old high school friends.
就是一个彻头彻尾的倒霉鬼
And a bunch of people in Finland.
在芬兰还有一群见证者
The auto-tune thing got kind of big over there.
那个混音视频在他们那儿引起了不小的轰动
That's why I have to nail this toast.
所以我必须要搞定这次致辞 华丽转身
Ted, you want to nail something at this wedding--
泰德 无论你想在婚礼上搞定什么
lose the Trapper Keeper.
必须先扔掉这大部头
The only thing you need to bring to Cleveland
你唯一需要带去克利夫兰的东西
is this.
就是这个
That fall I became the youngest architect
那年秋天 我成了纽约史上
in the history of New York to break ground on a skyscraper.
最年轻的把摩天大楼炸为平地的建筑师
Which led to a glowing magazine feature.
流行杂♥志♥专门为我做了个特辑
I planned on having it framed--
我打算把它裱起来
Uncle Barney had different plans.
巴尼叔叔的计划却与我背道而驰
Here's your toast--
你的致辞要这么念
"Single file, ladies. No fatties"
"女士们 要签名请排队 谢绝肥妞"
That's ridiculous.
这太荒唐了
Yeah, you're right. It's Cleveland.
是啊 你说得没错 那儿可是克利夫兰
"Single file, ladies""
那就"女士们 要签名请排队"
I'm not going to Punchy's wedding
我才不要在小粉拳的婚礼上
to brag about a magazine...
炫耀一本杂♥志♥
cover.
虽然封面人物是我
Barney, he doesn't need dating advice from you.
巴尼 他不需要你的约会建议
You never even called Nora.
你至今还不敢给诺拉打电♥话♥呢
Kids, you remember Nora.
孩子们 你们还记得诺拉吧
But just the other day...
可就在前几天
I'll call you. It's never too late, Barney.
我晚点打给你 从来不会太晚 巴尼
Or did you call her?
还是你已经打了
Not that I care. Did you?
我才不关心呢 打了吗
I don't care. Did you?
我真不关心 到底打没打
I haven't called her.
其实我还没打
Buddy. Damn it, Barney.
伙计 该死 巴尼
I was really, really, really rooting for you two.
我可是打从心底由衷真心希望你们在一起
Who wants hot wings?
谁要吃辣鸡翅
I'm in.
我要
Or maybe we should just pour hot sauce on Barney,
要不直接往巴尼身上泼辣酱吧
since he's a total chicken.
因为他就是只畏畏缩缩的小鸡仔[胆小鬼]
I did not chicken out.
我哪有临阵退缩
Nora is looking for something serious.
诺拉是在寻求真爱
I'm not. End of story.
而我不是 所以没戏
And yes, Robin, I would love some wings.
还有 罗宾 我想来点鸡翅
Cannibal.
吃本家没良心
Okay, next round's on me.
好吧 下一轮我买♥♥单
Oh, no, we got it. No, no...
不 不 我们够了 不 不
Now Lily and Marshall had just found out
莉莉和马修刚发现
they were having a baby.
他们有宝宝了
I can't wait to tell everyone. Baby, no,
我要马上宣布这个好消息 宝贝 不行
We can't tell anyone. Not until three months.
头三个月我们要保密
I don't want to jinx it.
我可不想坏事
That's a bit superstitious, don't you think?
你有点过于迷信了吧
Whenever we board a flight, you lick the plane.
是谁每次登机 都要舔一下飞机
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
剧集 | 老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005） | 导航列表