老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S09E17
Part 3
Oct. 22, 2020, 1:56 p.m.
Barney's wedding? Oh, God.
巴尼的婚礼 天啊
What desperate ho-bag
是哪个恨嫁的小荡♥妇♥
is handcuffing herself to that time bomb?
把自己铐在那颗定时炸♥弹♥上了
My dad did a real number on me.
我的确被我爸用手铐铐过很多次
Okay, uh... Ghost Lily, seven-years-ago ghost Lily,
我说 七年前的鬼魂莉莉
Can we get on with this so I can win the argument
不要聊那个了 让我先吵赢这一架
and we can move on to my regularly scheduled fantasy
然后再继续我的日常惯例
of you two making out with each other?
幻想你们俩在一起亲热
Sure. Just so you know,
好啊 你要知道
I really like it when...
我特别喜欢...
I know. I'm you.
我知道 咱俩是同一人
And I don't like that anymore.
但我现在不喜欢了
Okay, yes, seven-years-ago Lily,
好了 七年前的莉莉
maybe I am wrong for still being mad at you
也许我不应该还在为旧金山
about San Francisco and our breakup.
和那次分手的事生你的气
But the truth is, when you left me,
但说真的 你离开我的日子
that was the saddest I've ever been in my life.
是我人生中最悲伤的时候
Really?
真的吗
The saddest you've ever been in your life?
你人生中最悲伤的时候吗
Saddest I've ever been in my life.
真的是我人生最悲伤的时候
I mean, I am sitting right here.
我人就坐在这里呢
Look, dad, yes, obviously, losing you was way worse,
老爸 你过世时我更难过
but I'm trying to make a bigger point here.
可我正在努力证明我的观点呢
And what point is that?
你到底想证明什么呢
Because she hurt you once, you now get to hurt her?
因为她伤害过你 所以你现在要报复她吗
It's not how it works in a marriage.
婚姻不是这样的
You're totally gonna lose.
你绝对输定了
I can't believe you're open at this hour.
真不敢相信这个点你还开门
I'm always open for my friends.
只要是我的朋友 我随时都为他服务
What are we doing here?
我们这是在干嘛
We should go back to the party.
我们必须赶回去派对了
In relaxed-fit domestic denim?
就穿着这身休闲乡土牛仔装吗
I'm sorry, is this a costume party,
不好意思 你去的是化装舞会吗
and you're going as 1994?
而你扮演的是1994年的路人吗
Would you be a peach and bump this, please?
乖孩子 快和我碰个拳吧
Who cares about any of this?
谁在乎打扮穿着呢
They're just clothes.
这些只是衣服而已
Just clothes? Ted--
只是衣服而已 泰德
Sorry, force of habit--
抱歉 养成习惯了
Boys, suits are cool.
孩子们 西装是最酷的
Exhibit a.
在下就是第一号♥证物
I don't care how well-dressed I am.
我不在乎衣着有多讲究呢
The real challenge is walking up to a girl
我真正的挑战是 走到我不认识的
that I've never met before
陌生女孩面前
and somehow talking to her with words from my mouth.
嘴巴还会动 还能吐出词儿跟她聊
I've looked at it from every possible angle.
我已经从各个方面考虑过这件事了
There's just no way to do it.
这根本是不可能的任务
What's your name?
你叫什么名字
Justin.
贾斯汀
Have you met Justin?
你认识贾斯汀吗
Uh, no. Hi, I'm Julie.
不认识 你好 我叫朱莉
So simple, so elegant.
如此简洁 如此优雅
That's it?
就这样而已
You just walk up to someone you don't know
你就直接走到陌生人身边
and introduce them to your buddy?
把她介绍给你的朋友们吗
I don't know. That sounds kind of...
我不懂 这也太奇...
Have you met Kyle?
你认识凯尔吗
Hi, Kyle.
凯尔 你好啊
Are you Jesus?!
敢问足下是上帝吗
I would have understood, you know?
我当时会理解你的
I mean, if you told me that we couldn't be friends anymore,
如果你早告诉我 我们不能做朋友了
I-I wouldn't have liked it,
我虽然不开心
but I, God, I would have understood.
可我还是能理解啊
I could never do that.
我怎么可以做出那种事
Why not?
为什么不
Ted, okay, I insist that you tell me why not.
泰德 你必须告诉我原因
No way.
我不能说
Answer the question. It's... it's for the bride.
问答我的问题 就当是...新娘的要求
I'm not gonna answer the question,
我才不要回答你
because you know the answer.
因为你心里早就知道答案
You want to talk about my top five?
你想聊聊最适合我的前五名吗
There's no top five, Robin!
根本就没有前五名 罗宾
There's just a top one, and it's you.
那名单只有一个人 就是你
And the only reason I'm saying any of this is 'cause
而我现在敢于说这些话
I know that it's not gonna change anything.
是因为我知道这已无法改变任何事了
You and Barney are getting married today.
你和巴尼今天要结婚了
If I have to hold the shotgun myself, it's happening.
就算我得为你的婚礼开枪祝贺 我也认了
I thought you don't like guns.
你不是不喜欢枪吗
I'm the best man.
我是伴郎
I swore on the bro code.
我对着《兄弟法则》发过誓
I don't want to go to bro hell.
我不想下兄弟地狱
Bro hell sounds bad.
兄弟地狱听起来很恐怖
I'm sure Barney's got a whole thing about bro hell.
我确信巴尼的兄弟地狱有一整套酷刑
But what about when we get back from our honeymoon?
那我们度完蜜月回来后呢
What about our first night out at the bar?
我们婚后大家第一次去酒吧呢
But what then?
那时候呢
I mean, is it gonna be weird?
你会觉得怪怪的吗
No.
不会
How can you be so sure?
你怎么这么肯定
Because I'm not gonna be there.
因为到时候我就走了
I'm moving to Chicago.
我要搬去芝加哥
You're moving to Chicago? That's right.
你要搬去芝加哥 是的
I'm gonna work for Hammond Druthers.
我将为哈蒙德·德鲁瑟工作
The penis-building guy?
那个建老二大楼的人吗
They're not all penis buildings.
不全是老二大楼
They just designed this clamshell amphitheater
他们刚为圣路易斯交响乐团设计了
for the St. Louis symphony.
蛤壳圆形[阴♥户♥]剧场
That one, it doesn't look like a penis, anyway.
总之这一个看起来不像老二
I can't believe you're leaving New York.
真不敢相信你会离开纽约
Wait, is this be-- is this because of me?
慢着 这是因为我吗
No, it's not because of you.
不 不是因为你
Well, maybe at first it was, but...
也许最开始是因为你 但是
It's been a really long week.
这周太漫长了
Some stuff has happened and...
发生了一些事
It's just made me feel like it's, it's time to move on.
让我觉得 是时候告别过去勇敢向前了
Yes, good things happened to me in New York,
没错 在纽约我发生了不少好事
but bad things happened, too.
但也有坏事
Like your top five worst relationships?
比如说你的最烂恋情前五名吗
Okay, come on. Let me hear it.
来吧 说来听听
Number five, blah blah.
第五名 话痨女
Number four, boats, boats, boats.
第四名 船船船
Number three, Karen.
第三名 凯伦
Number two, uh, Zoey. She made both lists.
第二名 苏伊 她黑白榜上都有名
Number one, by a landslide, Jeanette.
第一名 以绝对优势胜出的珍妮特
Jeanette, of course. By the way,
珍妮特 当然了 对了
have you talked to Jeanette lately?
你最近和珍妮特联♥系♥过吗
I haven't talked to her. Liar.
我没联♥系♥过 又说谎
So I was at your apartment stealing your mail,
那天我在你公♥寓♥偷你的信件
and apparently there's some chick named Victoria
貌似有个叫维多利亚的女生
sending you jewelry from Germany?
从德国寄来珠宝给你
Somebody owes somebody an explanation.
某人欠某人一个解释哦
Jeanette, that locket is a wedding gift for Robin.
珍妮特 那条项链是送给罗宾的结婚礼物
Robin?! Oh, god, this again?
罗宾 老天 又是她吗
That I'm giving to her as a friend
我是以朋友身份送给她
because I'm kind of the wedding gift master!
因为我是结婚送礼大♥师♥
Now bring it back to me right now!
马上给我送回来
Fine. Meet me at the bow bridge in central park in one hour.
好吧 一小时后在中♥央♥公园的弓桥见
And by the way, I want Kenny back.
对了 把肯尼还给我
Who's Kenny?!
谁是肯尼
My pet tarantula.
我是宠物狼蛛
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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