老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S09E10
Part 4
Oct. 22, 2020, 1:54 p.m.
** I got this fucking thorn in my side *
* 我的世界却不得安生
Lily's second tackle of the weekend.
莉莉这周末第二次把人扑倒
** Sabotage.*
* 蓄意破坏
Wakey, wakey.
醒醒啦
Wait, this isn't...
慢着 这里不是
It's your daughter's school.
这是你女儿的学校
You need to go in.
你要进去
She asked me not to come, Marshall.
她叫我不要去 马修
This doesn't make any sense.
一点意义也没有
Kids don't understand logic.
孩子不懂大道理
Kids understand who shows up.
孩子只知道谁出现了
People say children are the future.
人们都说孩子是未来
I say...
我说
Oil is the future!
石油才是未来
Don't listen to these gutless environmental sissies!
别听那些胆小鬼环保娘娘腔的屁话
That's my baby. Drill in the oceans!
我女儿好棒 开钻海洋
Drill in the wetlands! Drill in the national parks!
开钻湿地 开钻国家公园
Thank you. Pumpkin head.
谢谢你 南瓜头
You're welcome.
不用谢
Drill, baby, drill! Drill, baby, drill!
石油石油使劲钻 石油石油使劲钻
Drill, baby, drill! We should go.
石油石油使劲钻 我们该走了
Drill, baby, drill! Drill, baby, drill!
石油石油使劲钻 石油石油使劲钻
Drill, baby, drill! Drill, baby, drill!
石油石油使劲钻 石油石油使劲钻
Drill, baby, drill!
石油石油使劲钻
You said it was nuts
你说我太疯狂
to think that my mom and dad would get back together.
以为我父母有可能破镜重圆
But that's what happened for James.
但詹姆斯就梦想成真了
I've been dreaming of that since I was five.
我从五岁就开始梦想这一天了
Well, that and my own operational death star.
还有我自己可操控的死星
But mostly them getting back together.
但最希望的还是他们能破镜重圆
Why does James get it and I don't?
为什么詹姆斯能梦想成真 我就不行
Well, think about it.
这样想吧
You have me, your dad has Cheryl...
你有我 你♥爸♥有谢丽尔
"So to summarize:
"总而言之
I'm super dead,
我死得翘翘的
you should totally bone Loretta,
你应该好好地上洛蕾塔
and I never loved you, Cheryl."
我从未爱过你 谢丽尔"
Which is misspelled.
连名字都拼写错了
...But James is going through a divorce.
但詹姆斯正经历离婚之痛
He just lost his family.
他刚失去了家人
I-I know you've been dreaming of this, but...
我知道你一直梦想着有这一天 但是
Maybe he needs "Mom and dad" more than you.
也许他比你更需要"爸爸和妈妈"
So, Billy, did you really think you could get away with it?
比利 你真的以为你可以侥幸逃脱吗
Actually, I did.
没错啊
I was gonna give this to Barney
我打算把这个给巴尼
and say I'd driven an hour away
说我开了一小时的车
to get a replacement from an autograph dealer.
从签名照经销商那里拿到了新照片
First, I needed an alibi.
首先 我需要不在场证明
So I got Barney's dad a massage
所以我请巴尼的爸爸去按♥摩♥
but signed in my name.
但签的是我的名字
Then I switched the Gretzky head shot with one of myself.
然后我把格雷茨基的签名照换成了我的
I always travel with 2,000 of those handsome devils
我出门时 总是会放两千张英俊照片
in the trunk of my car.
在车的后备箱里
I have so many questions for you, but first...
我有好多问题要问你 但首先
You keep 2,000 head shots of yourself in your trunk?
你在后备箱里放了两千张你自己的签名照吗
No one ever wants them!
从来没人要我的照片
They only want the "Good guy's" autograph!
大家都只要"好人"的签名照
In the '80s, I was the bad guy in every movie.
八十年代 我在电影里扮演的全是坏人
Do you know what my life has been like?
你知道我的生活变成什么样吗
Every premiere, when I came on screen...
每次首映 我出镜后
I wasn't a bad guy in real life,
我在真正的生活中并不是坏人
just a kick-ass actor.
只是演技超赞的演员
No one got that.
没人明白这一点
It happened everywhere I went.
我去哪里都会碰到这种情况
Somehow, people always had popcorn.
不知为什么 人们总是随身带着爆米花
25 years of getting crane-kicked in the nuts,
25年来 《空手道小子》一直让我不能翻身
until Barney Stinson gave me the best moment of my life.
直到巴尼·斯丁森给了我人生中最美好的时刻
Hey, some issues just came up with Ted, so...
泰德有些事 所以
Will you be my best man?
你愿意做我的伴郎吗
Sure. Thanks.
当然 谢谢
Hello? Mom?
喂 妈
No, no, listen, listen.
不 听我说
I just became somebody's best man.
别人刚邀请我做伴郎
You can come to thanksgiving this year!
今年的感恩节你可以回家了
To Barney Stinson, I wasn't a bad guy.
对巴尼·斯丁森来说 我不是坏人
To Barney Stinson, I was the best man.
对巴尼·斯丁森来说 我是伴郎[最好的人]
I thought if Ted screwed up again, I'd have another shot.
我想如果泰德又出错了 我就有机会了
But I guess this time I really was the bad guy.
但我想这次我真的成了坏人了
Hey, Ted, what's so urgent?
泰德 什么事这么急
I have something to tell you.
我有事要告诉你
I destroyed that Gretzky head shot
那张格雷茨基的签名照被我毁了
and I couldn't fix it. Billy saved the day
修复不了了 比利从附近的
by getting a new one from an autograph dealer nearby.
签名照经销商那里新买♥♥了一张 解决了危机
A-an hour away.
开了一小时车哦
An hour away. Just be cool.
开了一小时车 别得寸进尺好吗
Awesome. Thanks, Billy!
太棒了 谢谢了 比利
And, Ted...
泰德
I really appreciate that you told the truth.
很感谢你对我说了实话
Psych!
才怪
Billy rules, Ted drools,
比利顶呱呱 泰德说废话
Stinson out.
斯丁森先闪啦
You're all right, Mosby.
你真好 莫斯比
And for an all too rare moment that weekend,
那周末一个极其珍贵的时刻
everything was all right.
一切都相安无事
Bang bang
干杯
Barney?
巴尼
Is this your way of saying you're supporting us?
你这是在表示支持我们吗
Yes! Go for it.
是的 上吧
Consummate your love!
让你们的爱圆♥满♥吧
Thanks, bro.
谢了 兄弟
But this is super weird.
但我在这也太尴尬了吧
Super weird.
超尴尬啊
Bang bang.
干吧 干吧
Are we almost there?
快到了吗
Almost there.
快到了
Give me back my wife, you son of a bitch!
快把我老婆还给我 你这个混♥蛋♥
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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