老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）

How I Met Your Mother S09E17

Part 2 Oct. 22, 2020, 1:56 p.m.

We're going to a strip club.
我们去脱衣舞俱乐部吧
strip club?
脱衣舞俱乐部
We're in the middle of nowhere.
这里这么偏僻怎么可能有
There is always a strip club.
脱衣舞俱乐部随处都有
Hey, are you a little worried this guy might kill us?
你不怕这人会杀了我们吗
We just put a down payment on adult bunk beds.
我们刚花了钱订了一张成人上下铺的床
Would getting killed really be so bad?
这么悲催真被人宰了又如何
Good point. I got a weird feeling.
说得好但我总觉得怪怪的
I mean, there's something off about...
我听说...
Question:
问题
Why does this sign say gentlemen's club?
为什么这里要写着"绅士俱乐部"
Answer: Because the crab shed
答案因为蟹屋
is a place for gentlemen.
是专门给绅士准备的
A gentleman tips generously.
绅士小费给得多
A gentleman uses
绅士用的是
the complimentary bathroom cologne...
厕所里的免费古龙香水...
...but not too much.
但别用太多哦
Oh. This is important.
这很重要
Your instinct
你们的直觉
may be to avoid the free buffet.
或许认为天下没有免费的午餐
Your instinct is wrong.
不过你们的直觉是错的
Don't sleep on the meatballs, gentlemen.
不要在肉丸[咪♥咪♥]面前犹豫绅士们
They are exquisite!
它们是可遇不可求的
Come on!
来吧
You know, I liked Stella.
我以前挺喜欢斯特拉
Even though she broke your heart,
虽然她伤透了你的心
I'd still put her in your top five.
我仍把她归为最适合你的前五名
Which are...?
前五名都是谁
All right, number five, Stella. Mm-hmm.
第五名斯特拉
Number four, Zoey.
第四名苏伊
Number three, uh, the slutty pumpkin.
第三名淫♥荡♥小南瓜
Number two, Marshall,
第二名马修
that time you guys pretended to be a couple
巴尼卖♥♥♥房♥♥子那会儿
when Barney was trying to sell the apartment.
你们假扮过一对夫妻
And number one, Victoria.
第一名维多利亚
Well, you've given this some thought.
看来你认真想过这排行榜啊
Well, we all have.
我们四个都有用功
There's kind of a running e-mail chain about it.
大家还互相发邮件讨论来着
But the pastry chef was the best.
可那个蛋糕妹是最适合你的
No question.
这点毫无疑问
I do miss her sticky buns.
我的确很想念她的甜面包卷[射屁♥股♥上]
Uh, euphemism?
你是指代什么吗
Nope.
不是
Can I be honest?
能跟你说实话吗
Um, it was kind of crazy how all of sudden
这事其实挺奇怪的
it was just... over between you and Victoria.
你和维多利亚之间突然就结束了
I mean...
我是说
You guys were seven years in the making.
你们俩的感情培养了七年
She left her fiance for you.
她为了你抛弃未婚夫
What... why would you break up?
你们... 为什么要分手呢
What happened?
发生了什么事
We, um...
我们
We broke up because of you.
我们分手是因为你
Oh, my God, this is amazing!
妈呀实在太棒了
I ruined my pants, but it's totally worth it!
虽然"毁"了我的裤子但绝对值回票价
Best meatballs ever!
这也是世上最好吃的肉丸子
I'm gonna ask a serious question right now.
我要问一个严肃的问题
Can a person live in a strip club?
我可以定居在脱衣舞俱乐部吗
Yes.
当然可以
For the next few years,
接下来的几年里
your strip club will be like home.
俱乐部就会像是你的家
Then, one day, you'll date a stripper
直到有一天你开始和一个脱衣舞娘恋爱
and almost marry her, and after that,
差点和她结婚在那之后
you'll realize you're done with strip clubs.
你才意识到你不再需要脱衣舞俱乐部了
In the sense that you'll dial it back to, like, once a week.
不过每周你还是会打一次电♥话♥回去
I feel like I can talk to women now. Yeah.
我觉得自己能够和妹子说话了没错
You just stick a dollar bill in your mouth,
塞一美元在嘴里
and the conversation starts itself.
对话就自然而然地开始了
You know, I think we're ready to go back to that party
我觉得我们可以回去参加派对
and meet some ladies.
好好认识几个妹子了
Yeah!
没错
Yeah! Yeah!
说的没错
You! Are! Not! Ready!
你想得美
Your training is complete
等我说出"训练结束"时
when I say your training is complete!
才算真的结束
Come on, let's go.
好了我们走吧
You-you broke up with Victoria
你和维多利亚分手
because of me?
是因为我吗
She didn't want us to be friends anymore,
她不希望我和你继续做朋友
so I had to let her go.
我只能放弃她
Ted...
泰德
I just...
我真是
Wow, I...
我...
And-and you haven't talked to her since?
你后来再也没和她联络了吗
Haven't talked to her since.
再也没联络了
Also a lie.
我又撒谎了
Unbelievable.
我真不敢相信
And I assume this is all in the hopes
我猜你是抱着罗宾抛下自己的婚礼
that Robin'll ditch her own wedding
和你一起私奔的希望
and run off with you?
才这么费心费力吧
What? No.
说什么呢才不是
I would never.
我绝对不会
You would never run off with a girl
你绝对不会和妹子
on the day of her wedding?
在她结婚那天私奔吗
Ri...
我...
Okay, that's a fair point.
好吧你说得对
I'm not done.
我还没说完呢
...Ight.
...信了
So, do you have it?
那么东西在你那吗
I'm looking at it right now.
就在我的眼前
What? Oh, uh... Stay there.
什么你别走开
I'm-I'm on my way.
我马上过来
I'm in Germany.
我人在德国呢
Danke schon!
谢谢[德语]
I see.
我明白了
Look, if it means that much to you,
如果这东西对你如此重要
as soon as I'm done here at the bakery,
等我忙完面包店的活
I'll overnight it.
我就连夜寄出去
It'll be there in 24 hours.
24小时内就能收到
Thank you.
太谢谢你了
So this bakery, what kind of, uh...
你们的面包店是卖♥♥什么的
You want me to send you
你想让我顺便寄点
some chocolate truffle streuselkuchen?
松露巧克力蛋糕吗
Yes, please, you're the best, thank you.
是的你最好了万分感谢
But then, 24 hours later...
结果 24小时后
Disaster.
灾难降临
I'm sorry, mr. Mosby.
抱歉莫斯比先生
It says here your package was delivered earlier today.
上面显示您的包裹已经送过去了
Your wife signed for it.
是你的太太签收的
My... What?
我的什么
I... I don't have a wife.
我还没结婚呢
So, then, who's Jeanette Mosby?
那这位珍妮特·莫斯比又是谁
Oh, you're kidding me.
不会吧
Oh, my gosh, 2013 me!
2013年的我
So many questions!
我有好多问题想问你
How many myspace friends do I have now?
我的聚友网空间上有多少好友了
Has James Blunt put out the steady stream of number one hits
詹姆仕·布朗特有没有持续发行
we all expect from him?
我们期待的热销单曲呢
And why are we in this hotel room?
我们在这旅馆里干什么呢
We're here for Barney's wedding.
我们来参加巴尼的婚礼