老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S09E01
Part 1
Oct. 22, 2020, 1:53 p.m.
离婚礼还有55小时
星期五 上午11点
Kids, Barney and Robin's wedding turned out
孩子们 巴尼和罗宾举♥行♥婚礼的那个周末
to be a life-changing weekend for all of us.
改变了我们四个人的命运
Well, not just us.
当然 还有她
One ticket to Farhampton, please.
一张去法汉普顿的票
But I'll get to that.
但这个以后会说到
Who are you honking at? You.
你这是对谁按喇叭呢 你
You're going 40 in a 65.
人家限速65 你才开40
Pick it up, grandma!
开快点好吗 老婆婆
Look, I'm happy to rock it up into the 50s,
我也很想开到时速50公里以上
but I'm gonna need a hand...or two.
但我需要一只 或是两只帮手
Oh, no. Not the driving gloves.
天啊 又是驾驶手套
In 99.9% of highway accidents,
高速公路上99.9%的车祸中
the driver was not wearing gloves.
都是由于司机都没戴手套造成的
Because they're stupid.
因为这手套太傻气了
They don't help you drive better.
戴上了对开车也没有任何帮助
That's why no one wears them.
所以没人戴
Then why is it called... the glove compartment?
那为什么车上会有手套箱呢[仪表板上的贮物箱]
I am not having this argument again.
我不要再和你争论这件事了
Now, as you know, a Mosby road trip is not only safe,
你也知道 莫斯比公路之旅不光安全有保证
but informative.
还能增长见闻
Chiggedy-check it.
快看
Manhattan to Farhampton:
《曼哈顿至法汉普顿
Lil' and Ted's excellent adventure?
莉莉和泰德的奇妙大冒险》
That baby's stuffed to the rings with fun facts
这本宝贝手册中充满了各种有关
about our unsung neighbor to the east-- Long Island.
我们默默无闻的邻居长岛市的趣闻
For instance, just up ahead, the historic
比如说吧 前面就是
childhood home of Florian Van Otterloop,
传奇人物弗洛里安·范·奥特洛浦的童年故居
the dutch bucklesmith
他是荷兰的扣环匠
who revolutionized the belt industry.
改革了整个皮带工业
Uh, fun story about that color-blind genius.
这个色盲天才有个小趣事
When he... Please stop!
当他 求你别说了[停车]
Well, I was just gonna slow down for pictures,
我本来只想开慢点让你看图片的
but that level of enthusiasm can't go unrewarded.
看你这么有兴趣 不停车都对不起你呀
Oh, look at my little cousins
看我的小表妹们
in their flower girl dresses.
穿着花童小裙子的样子
Aw, they'll look so cute next to the ring bear.
她们站在拿戒熊旁边时一定好可爱
Yeah.
对啊
Wait, you said ring bear-er, right?
等一下 你是指戒童吧
Ring bear.
戒熊[音似]
Ring bear-er.
戒童
Ring bear.
戒熊
Are you planning some crazy stunt
你是打算让某种会特技的
with a dangerous wild animal at our wedding?
野生动物出现在我们的婚礼上吗
Because...
如果是这样
Oh, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
等下 等下
Oh, boy.
我的天
My brother wants to know
我哥哥想知道
what time he "goes on" at the reception.
他该在仪式的什么时段出场表演
What does that mean?
什么意思
Every wedding he attends, James insists on... performing.
詹姆斯参加的每场婚礼 都坚持要上台表演
** Islands in the stream *
* 我俩就好比
** That is what we are *
* 河中的小岛
** No one in between... *
* 紧紧相连不分离
So? What do you got against K-Rodge?
那又怎样 你不喜欢肯尼·罗杰斯吗
Everybody loves The Gambler.
大家都喜欢他《赌徒》那首歌♥呀
Wait for it.
我还没说完呢
** How can we be wrong? *
* 我俩是天生的一对
** Sail away with me to another world *
* 跟我一起开创另一番天地
** And we rely on each other, uh-huh! *
* 我俩一路扶持相伴相随
That is nothing.
这算什么呀
I have invited Scherbatskys from all over Canada,
我已经邀请了全加拿大的特布罗斯基家族成员
and they are canuckin' nuts.
他们才是纯疯子呢
Like my cousin Ruth from the Yukon.
比如我育空省的表妹露丝
I don't like to encourage Canadian stereotypes,
我不是要加深你们对加拿大的成见
but that woman practically rides a moose.
可她真的会骑麋鹿耶
Does she actually ride a moose? Yeah.
她真的会"骑"麋鹿吗 是的
And, uh,
而且
I'm worried she'll bring it to the wedding.
我担心她会把那鹿带到婚礼上来
She and the moose are... very close.
她和她的麋鹿关系...非一般亲密
Every wedding's got a wild card,
每个婚礼总会出现无法预料的事
but we've invited a whole set.
而我们却邀请了一堆无法预料的疯子
Someone is gonna ruin this wedding.
这场婚礼肯定会被人搞砸的
It's just a question of... who.
问题就在于...会被谁呢
I'm gonna ruin this wedding!
我肯定会搞砸这场婚礼
My wife is gonna kill me!
我老婆非杀了我不可
Flight attendants prepare for departure.
空乘人员请进行起飞准备
We were gonna move to Italy for her dream job,
为了成全她的事业 我们本来要搬去意大利
so I brought my son here to Minnesota
所以出发前 我带儿子回明尼苏达
to see my mom before we left.
去看望我妈妈
And then I got offered a job as a judge
然后我又接到一份纽约的法官工作
in New York city, which is my dream.
这可是我梦寐以求的工作
But that'll totally destroy her dream!
但那就毁掉她的梦想
You are destroying a lot of dreams right now.
你现在就是在毁我清梦
Wait. If I got this...
等等 如果我收到了这个
Aren't you gonna check that?
你不打开看看吗
No.
不了
It-it's just another obnoxious update
肯定又是马修他妈发的
from Marshall's mom.
讨厌的照片罢了
She's been posting
她一直给我发
these "Cute" Baby pics of marvin,
马文各种"可爱"照片
but it's all just propaganda.
目的都只是为了发动洗♥脑♥攻势
First, it was "Don't move to Italy."
一开始是"不要搬去意大利"
Followed by an extremely subtle guilt trip.
然后就是刻意制♥造♥罪恶感
And then, randomly preachy.
最后时不时地又来唠叨几句
Nah, not looking.
我才不看呢
It's just gonna piss me off.
看了也只会惹老娘生气
Why are we exiting again?
我们怎么又下高速了
Well, if you turn in your binder
请翻到你那本手册上
to the section labeled "Mennonite windmills..."
标有"门诺会风车"的那一页
Get back on the expressway now.
马上给我开回高速上去
The expressway's for gloveless amateurs.
高速路上全是不戴手套的外行
I'm done.
我受够了
There's a train station coming up; just drop me off.
前面有个火车站 在那里放我下车
Okay, but some newfangled train's not gonna stop
好呀 但是新式火车可不会在朗康科马停车
at the 40-foot-tall butter churn in Ronkonkoma!
让你欣赏40码高的黄油搅拌器哦
Yes, but unlike any of your 18th-century stops,
话是没错 可比起你那些18世纪的观光点
at least the train will have a 21st-century toilet!
火车上至少有21世纪的马桶
You're a 21st-century toilet!
你就是个不懂欣赏文化的21世纪马桶女
Train now! Fine!
马上送我去火车站 好
Okay, so far, I've got 12 wild cards,
目前为止 我手上有12个疯子
not counting the ring bear.
还不算那只戒熊
Ring bear-er.
是戒童
Oh, oh, here's another one.
对了 还有一个
You know how I found out that I'm one-quarter Canadian
还记得我发现自己有四分之一的加拿大血统
but I've completely blocked that out
但我完全假装忘记这件事
because your nation's ridiculous and I'm awesome?
因为你这么可笑的国家 出不了我这么棒的人才
Sure.
当然记得
Well, turns out, I have a crazy cousin Mitch
结果我发现在加拿大这边
on that side of the family.
我有个疯子表哥米契
That's funny.
真有意思
I have a crazy cousin mitch, too.
我也有个疯子表哥叫米契
But I guarantee he is crazier than yours.
但我保证他比你的要疯狂多了
He built his own house from timber he chopped down
他用从别人房♥子砍下来的木材
from other people's houses.
盖了一栋自己的房♥子
That's funny.
真有意思
My cousin Mitch is a lumberjack.
我的表哥米契是个伐木工人
Except mine has six fingers.
不过他有六根手指
On one hand or total?
是一只手六根 还是一共六根
Total.
一共六根
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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