Oh, you look like you're coming from a wedding.
看样子你刚参加完婚礼吧
Was it a nice one?
怎么样 还不错吧
Uh, it's a long story, and I don't mean to be rude,
说来话长 我也不想对你无礼
but I really don't feel like talking about it.
但我实在不想谈这个
It all started when the bride asked to see me...
一切都得从新娘说要见我说起
Okay, don't sugarcoat it, Mosby.
糖衣炮弹就省省吧 莫斯比
Just give it to me straight, okay?
你就直接告诉我 可以吗
How bad is Barney freaking out right now?
巴尼到底崩溃到什么程度了
Oh, he's fine.
他没事啊
No, I'm serious. He's totally fine.
真的 他一点事都没有
I have a better tie at home!
我家里有条更好看的领带
It's cornflower blue!
是浅蓝色的哦
It's cornflower blue!
浅蓝色
You may rest assured, Barney Stinson is absolutely 100%
你可以一百个心 巴尼·斯丁森绝对
going through with this wedding.
不会临阵脱逃的
Okay.
好吧
Good news.
如释重负
Um, just one small issue, uh...
只是...还有个小问题...
I can't go through with this wedding.
想临阵脱逃的那个是我
Okay, calm down, everyone feels this way on their wedding day.
淡定 每个人在婚礼当天都会有这种想法
It'll pass.
一会儿就好了
No. It's more than that.
不 没那么简单
I'm having a serious crisis.
我有严重的危机感
And I wonder if it would be hard to climb out that window.
我都在想 从这个窗户爬出去会不会很难
Uh, climbing out's easy.
爬出去很容易
Climbing in's the real challenge.
爬进来才需要勇气
Oh, right.
对哦
It's the same window, isn't it?
这就是当时那个窗户 对吧
Yeah.
对
That story transpired in May of 2012.
时间回到2012年5月
As you may recall, Lily and Marshall were gloriously happy
你们应该记得 当时莉莉和马修
having just welcomed your cousin Marvin.
沉浸在小马文降临的喜悦中
While Barney and Quinn were gloriously happy having just gotten engaged.
与此同时 巴尼和昆茵也沉浸在订婚的喜悦中
And Robin, well...
而罗宾...
Ah, got it!
搞定
Man, that sum'bitch had been in there since breakfast!
靠 那玩意早餐之后就卡在那里了
Robin: one, poppy seed: zero.
罗宾 赢了 罂粟籽 滚蛋
Heck, this calls for some champagne.
这得来杯香槟庆祝一下
I think there's some in the fridge. We'll get it.
我记得冰箱里有一瓶 我们去拿吧
We're totally not gonna go have sex in the kitchen,
我们绝对不会在厨房♥嘿♥咻♥的
if that's what you're thinking.
你们不要乱想哦
Aw, we're not? No, no, we are.
真的不会吗 当然会啦
I already took off your bra.
我已经把你的罩罩脱掉了
Hey, are you guys sure you can handle champagne?
你们确定能喝香槟吗
You haven't slept in like a week.
你俩几乎一周没睡了
We should just call it a night.
要不今晚就到这吧
Oh, I see what this is about.
我懂你的意思了
You feel weird because Barney's engaged.
巴尼订婚了 你心里觉得别扭
What?!
什么
No. Of course not.
当然不会啦
And I will tell you why it's not weird.
我告诉你们不别扭的原因
What's not weird?
什么不别扭
The fact that Barney's engaged.
巴尼订婚啊
Barney's engaged?!
巴尼订婚了吗
Heck, this calls for some champagne.
这得来杯香槟庆祝一下
I think there's some in the fridge.
我记得冰箱里有一瓶
Oh, my God, why don't you both just admit it:
天啊 你们就承认了吧
You're deliriously exhausted.
你们已经累到语无伦次了
We're fine! Really?
我们没事 真的吗
We're not gonna be the kind of people who have a baby
我们才不是那种有了宝宝
and become total zombies. Yes, Robin.
就会累得对其他事情麻木的人 就是 罗宾
We're not gonna be the kind of people
我们才不是那种累得对其他事情麻木
that have a zombie and become total babies.
就有了宝宝的人
Okay, well, what the I was saying is...
好吧 我的意思是....
Do you understand?
懂我意思吗
Yes! God, yes!
懂 当然懂
You are preaching to the choir, sister.
你这解释简直是多此一举 妹子
I am thinking about my bridal party
我在考虑我的伴娘团人选
and, uh, I don't have a lot of girlfriends.
我的朋友不多
I mean, I have work friends, but I worked at a strip club
虽然同事也可以 但我是在脱衣舞俱乐部上班
and I know they'll just complain
她们肯定接受不了
about any bridesmaid's dress that has a front, so...
要穿胸前有布料的伴娘礼服 所以...
Would you guys be my bridesmaids?
你们能不能当我的伴娘
Yes! I'd be honored.
当然可以 荣幸之至
Not you, Marshall.
没问你 马修
But, yay, thank you! Oh.
太好了 谢谢你们
Oh, thank you. Oh, my gosh.
谢谢 天啊
It's gonna be so much fun.
一定很有意思
Yeah, now it's weird.
好吧 现在我觉得别扭了
What's weird?
别扭什么
Me being Quinn's bridesmaid.
给昆茵当伴娘啊
Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, sweetie.
亲爱的 不用担心
She probably won't even ask you.
她应该不会邀请你当
She just did.
她刚就邀请了
And we both said yes.
而且我们俩都答应了
Heck, this calls for some champagne.
这得来杯香槟庆祝一下
I think there's some in the fridge.
我记得冰箱里有一瓶
Meanwhile, I was also gloriously happy,
与此同时 我也沉浸在喜悦中
driving off into the sunset with Victoria,
载着维多利亚 飞驰于夕阳的尽头
who left her fiance Klaus at the altar for me.
她为了我 在结婚当天把未婚夫甩了
There was just one problem.
但还有一个问题
I wonder if Klaus found your note yet.
不知道克劳斯发现你留的字条没
My note? Yeah,
字条 对啊
you know, the "I'm leaving you at the altar" note.
那张写着"我决定不嫁给你了"的字条
Is that a thing?
有这种东西吗
When you leave someone at the altar, you always leave a note.
在结婚当天落跑 要记得留张字条
It's common courtesy.
这是基本的礼节
I think common courtesy went out the window when I did.
当我从窗子里爬出去时 基本礼节也就不适用了
Look, when Stella left me at the altar,
斯黛拉在婚礼上离我而去时
at least I got an explanation.
至少留给了我一个解释
I mean, that note is what keeps you sane.
这张字条能让你保持理智
You read it, you re-read it, you memorize it,
你一遍一遍地读 最后烂熟于心
you sleep with it, you sniff it
你枕着字条入眠 轻闻字条
because it still kind of smells like her,
只因上面仿佛留有她的香气
and then, finally...
直到最后
you let it go...
你终于放下了
tied to a brick, right through her perfect
于是你把字条系在石块上 奋力砸向
little suburban bay window.
她温馨的郊区小屋的窗子
I'll just text him. You're leaving a note.
我给他发个短♥信♥吧 还是留张字条吧
So, Barney and I have already disagreed
巴尼和我 在婚礼的一些小细节上
on a few of the wedding details.
有一些分歧
I want to go with a buffet,
我想弄成自助餐的形式
and he wants to ride down the aisle on a grizzly bear.
而他想骑着灰熊走进教堂
He'll be wearing a tux.
穿燕尾服的灰熊哦
Fine, fine, I'll settle for a panda bear,
好吧好吧 换成熊猫也可以
but you have to call my tailor.
不过你得自己去告诉我的裁缝
He'll be furious about the switch.
换成熊猫 他一定会超不爽的
Hey, Barney, uh...
巴尼
We've gotta talk.
我们得谈谈
Um, Quinn just asked me to be one of her bridesmaids.
昆茵邀请我做她的伴娘
Isn't she even a little weirded out
她难道一点也不觉得变扭吗
that you and I used to date?
毕竟我们曾经是情侣
Quinn doesn't have a jealous bone in her body.
昆茵从来都不会吃醋
She rolls with the punches.
她向来大事化小
She... Doesn't have a clue.
她... 还不知道吧
No, she does not.
对 她还不知道
Okay. Okay.
好了 好
"Klaus, there is no easy way to tell you
"克劳斯 原谅我说不出口"
why I won't be marrying you today.
"我为什么不能嫁给你"
Have a great summer, Victoria."
"祝夏日愉快 维多利亚"
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