糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S02E12
Part 3
Jan. 3, 2021, 2:11 p.m.
最糟糕的是 胜者得留下继续
The worst thing about it? It was winner stays on.
对 在罗马时期 还有更傻的死法
Yeah. And there were even sillier ways to die in Roman times.
愚蠢的死法之
迪奥多拉斯
死得傻呀死得傻*
*Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
真人真事乐哈哈*
*They're funny cos they're true
死得傻呀死得傻*
*Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
下次不要到你家*
*Hope next time, it's not you
下一位
Next!
你好 我是迪奥多拉斯 驼背者
Hello, I'm Diodorus, erm...the Hunchback.
你看起来不驼背啊
You don't look much like a hunchback.
是的 这就是我来这的原因
Oh, yes, that's why I'm here really.
有意思
Ooh! Interesting.
洗耳恭听 让我乐一下
I'm all ears. Entertain me.
我驼背多年
Well, I'd been a hunchback for years,
已经放弃了治愈的希望
so I'd given up all hope of any cure,
但我遇到了索克利斯医生
but then I met Doctor Socles,
他是个希腊医学专家
and he's a Greek medical expert,
他说他可以矫正我弯曲的脊椎
and he said that he could fix my crooked spine.
听起来有点意思
Ooh! This sounds like it's going to be good.
他让我趴下来
He told me to lie on my stomach,
屏住呼吸 闭上眼睛
and hold my breath and close my eyes.
然后他在我后背上放了三块巨石
And then he put three massive stones on my back.
-然后呢 -然后当我睁开双眼 我好了
- And? - And when I opened my eyes... I was cured!
-天呐 -但不幸的是 我也死了
- Oh, dear. - But unfortunately I was also dead.
万岁
Hooray!
被索克利斯的石头压扁了
Squished by Doctor Socles' stones.
它们压碎了我的脊椎
They'd crushed my spine.
太逗了 来见见我的平兄迪奥多拉斯
That's hilarious. Have you met my flatmate, Diodorus.
[flatmate有室友的意思]
平兄 明白吗
Flatmate, get it?
-你可以去转世了 -谢谢
- Oh, dear. You're through to the afterlife. - Oh, thank you.
快去吧
Off you pop.
我热爱我的工作 我真的热爱
Do you know, I love my job sometimes. I do, I really do.
下一位
Next!
死得傻呀死得傻*
*Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
下次不要到你家*
*Hope next time, it's not you
牛气的撒克逊人
我的头
Ow, my head.
你被头疼困扰吗
Do you suffer from headaches?!
是的 你还捣乱
Yes, I do, and you're not helping.
-你被头疼困扰吗 -好多了 是的 头疼
- Do you suffer from headaches?! - That's better. Yes, yes, I do.
需要有效快速的东西来缓解疼痛吗
Need something fast and effective to relieve the pain?
是的 需要
Yes, I do.
那何不试试最新的撒克逊疗法
Then why not try the latest Saxon cure-
燕子胃石包
Bag-o-Swallow-Chick-Stomach-Stones.
真实的撒克逊疗法
是的 燕子胃石包
Yes. Bag-o-Swallow-Chick-Stomach-Stones.
很简单 找两只燕子
It's simple. Just find a couple of swallow chicks,
切开它们 找到它们胃里的小石头
cut them open, and look for little stones in their stomach.
真恶心 然后呢
This is disgusting. Now what?
显然 把它们缝到小包里 放到头上
Obvious. Just sew them into a little bag, and pop it on your head.
-你确定是这样吗 -我当然确定
- Are you sure about this? - Sure, I'm sure.
包就这样一直放着 直到头不疼了
Just keep the bag on till the headache's gone.
不要突然动弹 不然包会掉的
And no sudden movements, or the bag may fall off.
维京人来了
Vikings are coming!
快逃命吧
Run for your life!
燕子胃石包
Bag-o-Swallow-Chick-Stomach-Stones.
维京人来了
The Vikings are coming.
甚至能治愈被妖精折磨的人
It'll even cure people plagued by goblins.
能解决维京人吗
Yes, but they will cure Vikings?
警告 燕子胃石包不能解决维京人
Warning. Bag-o-Swallow-Chick-Stomach-Stones will not cure Vikings.
不能 快跑
No. Run away!
我头还疼呢
I've still got my headache, you know.
很快你就没头可疼了
Soon you won't have a head TO ache!
另一个不寻常的撒克逊疗法是给伤口止血的
Another unusual Saxon cure was for a bleeding wound.
只需用裹着什么粉的布来包住伤口
You just bound the wound with a cloth covered in powdered what...?
A 牛粪
A, cow pat.
B 马粪
B, horse droppings.
C 恐龙粪
Or C, dinosaur poo.
答案是
The answer is...
B 马粪
B, horse droppings.
烤干后碾成粉
Baked dry and rubbed into a powder.
如果你觉得这很奇怪 撒克逊人还相信
And if you think THAT'S weird, Saxons also believed
在作战头盔上放只猪会带来好运
having a pig on your battle helmet would bring you good luck.
头盔 买♥♥个闪亮的头盔吧
Helmets... Get your shiny helmets.
你好 兄弟
All right, mate.
我要退货
I'd like a refund for this helmet you sold me.
有什么问题吗
What seems to be the problem?
我是因为这上面有只猪才买♥♥的
I bought it because it's got a pig on the top...
现在这种式样很受欢迎
Well, it's a very popular choice.
猪是我们撒克逊和平及耕耘之神最爱的动物
Pig is a favourite animal of our Saxon god, Frey.
你告诉我这个头盔会给我带来好运
But you assured me this helmet would bring me good luck.
-是这样的 -是吗 那这是怎么回事
- Yeah, well it does. - Yeah? Well, explain this...
这么严重
That IS nasty.
这样吧 给你退款
Tell you what, I'll get you a refund.
人呢
Where did he go?
源自撒克逊的英语词汇
淤青
伤口
腐烂的
肉
血
肠子
放屁
对不起
"周三"这个词源于沃登 撒克逊的主神
The word Wednesday's named after Woden, the chief Saxon god.
他也是诗人之神
He's also the god of poets.
接下来这件事很奇怪
Now, here's something odd.
他有一匹八条腿的飞马
He owned a horse with eight legs and wings so it flew.
明日天气预报 马粪雨
The weather forecast for tomorrow, downpours of horse poo.
恐怖的都铎王朝
1520年 英格兰王亨利八世
In 1520, King Henry VIII of England
与法国国王弗朗索瓦一世
met Francis I of France
于庆祝两国和平的庆典上会面
in a celebration of peace between the two countries.
怎么会发生不寻常的事呢
What could possibly go wrong?
欢迎收看《糟糕历史世界摔跤赛》
Welcome to Horrible Histories World Wrestling!
我们在公元1520年的金缕地为您转播
We are ringside at the Field of the Cloth of Gold, in 1520 AD.
两位最伟大的都铎时期君主
Two of the greatest Tudor
巅峰对决 国王对阵国王
monarchs go head to head, King versus King,
真正的王室对决
in a really royal rumble.
先来见见两位选手
So let's meet the wrestlers.
法国国王弗朗索瓦一世 闪亮的国王
King Francis I of France, King of bling.
爱好: 艺术 音乐 舞蹈
讨厌: 打架
他可能不强壮 但机智灵活 而且超美
He may not be big, but he's fast, and he sure is pretty.
英俊
什么 是说我们要打架吗
Pardon... Is zere going to be a fight?
按我的理解
It was my understanding
要庆祝两个伟大国家间的和平
zat we were all 'ere to celebrate ze peace between our two great nations,
就应该用音乐 艺术 舞蹈...
with ze music, art, dancing...
和打架
And fighting!
好吧 通常我都让士兵来帮我做这种事
OK. Er, normally I have soldiers to do zat sort of thing for me...
今天可不行
Well, not today.
因为你要和英格兰王亨利八世单挑
Because you're going one on one with Henry VIII, reigning King of England!
他身高6英尺2英寸
He's six foot two inches,
身高: 6英尺2英寸
体重120公斤多一点
a little over 120 kilos,
体重: 120公斤
而且身上不全是肌肉
and not all of it muscle.
啤酒肚
喂 我听见了
Oi! I heard that.
如果你们觉得亨利的数据惊人
And if you think Henry's stats are impressive,
且看看他为此次盛会搭建的营地吧
just check out his tent for the event.
大如宫殿 百米长 百米宽
It's as big as a palace. 100 metres long, 100 metres wide.
里面还有独♥立♥的礼拜堂 三十五名牧师
It's got its own chapel, 35 priests,
以及两个酒造的喷泉
and two fountains flowing with wine.
我打架打了一辈子 但这次意义非凡
I've been fighting all my life, but this is the big one.
我会打倒你
I am going to take you down.
把你撕成两半
I am going to tear you apart.
我要把你的腿给扯下来
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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