糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S02E10

Part 5 Jan. 3, 2021, 2:11 p.m.

Yeah, just hold it up to your shoulder and pull the trigger.
抱歉你是左撇子吧
Sorry about that, you're left handed, aren't you?
燧石枪只能用右手开枪
You can only fire the Brown Bess with your right hand,
不然会溅你一脸火♥药♥
otherwise the flash goes off in your face.
真事哦
我不想当兵了
I don't want to be in the army anymore.
太晚了伙计
Oh, it's too late for that, son.
未来十年你都是我的了
You're mine for the next ten years.
现在马上快速行军
Now, on the double, quick-march.
一二一一二一
Left-right, left-right...
他忘拿配餐了
Oh, forgotten his rations.
剩着给我吧
That's more for me.
看啊还有只甲虫呢
Oh, look, there's a beetle there.
我喜欢这脆壳
Mmm, I like the crunchy shell.
真美味
Oh, that's lovely that.
可怕古埃及
古埃及女王克利奥帕特拉
Ancient Egyptian Queen Cleopatra
为了彰显美貌费尽心思
went to a lot of trouble to look her best.
看看她是怎么做的
Here's how she did it.
姑娘们好是否照镜子时看到这幅容貌
Hi, girls, ever look in the mirror and see this...
而心中期望的却是这样
when you were hoping to see this?
没错我也一样所以我遵循
Yeah, me too. That's why I follow...
克利奥帕特拉美容计划
Cleopatra's beauty regime.
你也一样可以请仔细听好好学
And now you can too. Just listen and learn.
建议一
Tip 1.
如果你想拥有像我这样顺滑的肌肤
If you want your skin to be nice and smooth like mine,
为何不像我一样用驴奶洗澡呢
why not bathe in asses' milk?
克利奥帕特拉的确用驴奶洗澡
这都放多久了
Eugh! How long has that been there?
臭死了
It really stinks.
建议二
Tip 2.
要突出双眼请用铅把眼周围涂成黑色
Enhance those eyes by painting them with black lead.
等等这东西不是有剧毒的吗
Hang on, isn't this like really poisonous?
你这是要对我做什么
What are you trying to do to me?
一下就好看多了吧
Looking better already?
埃及艳后用铅画眼妆
肯定的
You bet I am.
这个眼妆还可以驱蝇呢
And this eye make-up repels flies.
这是真的
这也正常毕竟是有毒的
Well, I'm not surprised, it is poisonous.
建议三
Tip 3.
用这些陶土做成的赭石
Bring a dash of colour to your cheeks
为你的两颊添上一抹色彩
with this red ochre made from clay.
货真价实的古埃及化妆用品
陶土做陶罐的陶土吗
Clay? What, like they make pots out of?
其实好像还挺管用的
Actually, that does kind of work.
真神奇是吧
Amazing, isn't it?
建议四
Tip 4.
现在还剩点睛之笔
And now for the final touch.
一件饰品
That beauty accessory
女法老的必需之品
that no female Pharaoh is complete without
胡须
a beard.
克利奥帕特拉美容计划
The Cleopatra Beauty Regime.
因为美貌源于肌肤
Because beauty is skin deep,
还要有胡须
and has a beard!
没什么好笑的我就是痒痒
It's not funny, it just tickles.
鼠君认证以上全部属实
It's all true. 100% accu-rat.
法老应该是男人
Pharaohs were supposed to be men,
所以当克里奥帕特拉要履行神职时
so Cleopatra had to wear a false beard
就得戴上假胡子
whenever she did a sacred task,
比如祈祷明日太阳照常升起这种的
like pray for the sun to come up every morning.
我个人挺喜欢脸上有点毛的女生
Personally, I like girls with a bit of facial hair.
这是当然的啦我可是只老鼠
But then, I would, wouldn't I? I am a rat.
古埃及人的化妆品里有不少奇怪的原料
Ancient Egyptians used some pretty odd ingredients in their make-up,
但他们药品里的原料更加奇怪
but not as odd as some of the ingredients in their medicines.
猜猜下面哪些被用于古埃及药品
Which of these were used in Egyptian medical cures?
A 苍蝇的便便
A: Fly droppings
B 鸵鸟的粪球
B: Ostrich poo
还是C 鳄鱼的屎粑粑
C: Crocodile dung
答案是
The answer is...
古埃及的医生们这三者都用过
all three were used in medicines by ancient Eqyptian doctors.
[恶搞英国肥皂剧Holby City]
历史医院
太疼了
Oh, it's really sore.
尽量别碰
Try not to touch it,
医生很快就来
the doctor will be round soon.
太好了这的医生怎么样啊
Good. What are the doctors like round here?
他们挺好的很专业...
Yeah, they're very professional and...
好吧其实不知为什么
OK, for some reason we don't understand,
好像他们都是各个历史时代来的
they all seem to be from different historical periods
医疗手段都有点...疯狂
and their methods are quite frankly... mad.
早上好卡特太太我是詹金斯医生
Good morning, Mrs Carter, I'm Dr Jenkins.
你挺幸运他是我们的现代医生
You're in luck, he's one of our modern doctors.
真是万幸啊
Oh, thank goodness.
所以你怎么...
So what seems to be the...?
抱歉我来晚了
So sorry I'm late.
[这货是生育女神]
我是伊希斯医生我来自古埃及
My name's Dr Isis and I'm from ancient Egypt.
-我来就行了 -好的
- I'll take it from here. Thank you. - Of course.
别别走
No, don't go.
你知道他们都什么德行
You know what they're like.
他又会对她做些奇怪的事情
He'll do a load of weird stuff to her
可能最后她就活不成了
and she'll probably end up dying or something.
胡说我受过古埃及最先进的医疗教育
Nonsense, I've had all the latest ancient Egyptian medical training.
我看看右眼上这个伤口看起来可真糟
Now, that is a nasty gash above the right eye.
我想我们往上涂点蜂蜜吧
I'd be tempted to rub some honey into that.
-你看 -蜂蜜其实是很好的杀菌剂
- See? - Honey is actually a rather good antiseptic.
这是真的
处理这种伤口正合适
Ideal for treating a wound such as that.
好吧那怎么止痛呢
Oh, well, what about the pain?
我包里有点桃金娘的干叶子
Well, I've got some dried leaves from a myrtle bush here in my bag.
我可以喂给病人一点
I'd probably feed the patient a few of those.
他想让她吃树叶吗
He wants her to eat leaves?
是但桃金娘的叶子富含水杨酸
Yes, but myrtle leaves are very rich in salicylic acid.
是阿司匹林的基本成分
It's a basic form of things like aspirin,
真的
用以治疗轻微头痛很合适
So ideal for treating mild pain.
其实我现在有点恶心了
Actually, I feel quite sick now.
我正好有对症的东西多棒的石灰石
I've got just the thing for that. A lovely bit of limestone. Mmm.
他要让她吃石头
He wants her to eat a rock.
是石灰石就是碳酸钙啊
Yes, limestone is calcium carbonate.
磨成粉
Powdered up,
就和我们现在用来治胃病的药一样了
it's the same as we use to treat stomach complaints today.
真的
其实伊希斯医生的治疗方法还不错
I'd say that Dr Isis actually has some very good treatments.
什么
What?
不过那里看着好像有点感染了
Looks like there could be a little infection there,
你怎么想
what do you think?
是啊可能会致盲呢
Yes, that could lead to blindness.
要治这个先把这只猪眼球压碎了
Which I would treat by mashing up a pig's eye
和点蜂蜜再加点这个红色粉末
with a little bit of honey and a little bit of red powder
然后把混合物倒进病人耳朵里
and then pouring the mixture into the patient's ear.
真实古埃及疗法
没错他的确疯了抓住他
Yeah, he's mad. Get him.
不行你敢我才没疯
No! How dare you, I'm not mad.
天木乃伊啊
Aaaagh, mummy!
夸张故事残暴行为*
*Tall tales, atrocious acts,
我们有最吓人的真♥相♥*
*we gave you all the fearsome facts
真♥相♥丑陋不加修饰*
*The ugly truth, no glam or glitz,
想与我一起穿梭时光下水道吗
Want to travel through the time sewers with me?
那就玩"糟糕历史寻宝游戏"吧
Then play Horrible Histories terrible treasures.
请登陆CBBC官网
Go to the CBBC website,
点击"糟糕历史"
and click on Horrible Histories.
历史不再是个谜*
*The past is no longer a mystery
但愿你喜欢糟糕历史*
*Hope you enjoyed Horrible Histories