糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S02E05

Part 5 Jan. 3, 2021, 2:10 p.m.

even survive the journey. Always read the label.
卓越美♥利♥坚♥
1607年到1865年间
Between 1607 and 1865,
奴隶制在美国是合法的
slavery was legal in America.
有一个逃跑的奴隶
One slave who escaped
后来开始帮助解救其他奴隶
and went on to free other slaves
大家都叫他代理摩西
was known as Agent Moses.
但代理摩西跟你想象的可能有点不同
But Agent Moses wasn't quite what you might expect.
我想就是这里了
Well, I think this is the spot.
-对那我们现在做什么 -等着
- Yeah. So, what do we do now? - We wait.
消息上说
Accordin' to the message,
代理摩西会来见我们
Agent Moses will meet us here,
带我们逃离种植园
break us out of the plantation
安排安全通道逃到加拿大
and arrange safe passage to Canada.
太棒了想想看再过几天
Wow! Just think, in a few days,
我们就不再是奴隶而是自♥由♥身了
we won't be slaves any more. We'll be free men.
而且代理摩西已经解放了六十多个奴隶
Yeah. And this Agent Moses has already freed over 60 slaves.
肯定是条硬汉
He must be quite a guy.
真是等不及要见他了
I can't wait to meet him.
你们俩收到我的消息啦
So, you boys got my message?
-小声点 -我们在等代理摩西呢
- Ssh! - We're waitin' for Agent Moses.
代理摩西近在眼前
A-hem! Agent Moses is here.
太好了他在哪儿
Oh, brilliant. Where?
在这儿我就是代理摩西
Here. I'm Agent Moses.
-你就是 -你看着就跟我妈似的
- You're Agent Moses? - You look like my mama.
我们还以为你会是个
Well, we just expected you to be
阳刚小伙呢
a dashing young man.
大家也都这么认为
Yep! That's what they expect.
特别是那些要抓我的奴隶主们
Especially the slave owners tryin' to catch me.
怪不得你这么能干
Oh. So that's why you're so good at this!
没错他们绝不会想到
Yep. I'm the last person
解放那些奴隶的人就是我
they'd expect to be freein' the whole bunch of slaves.
而且我还带了乔装用品
Besides, I got myself a few disguises
以备不时之需
in case of emergency.
我猜肯定是副假的大胡子
Let me guess. Big false beard.
不不不肯定是眼镜和假发
Nah-nah-nah-nah. Glasses and a wig.
眼镜和假发可是乔装必备
Always glasses and a wig.
不我有更绝的神器报纸
No. Even better. A newspaper.
这是真的
-报纸 -开玩笑吧
- A newspaper? - You gotta be kiddin' me.
谁在那边谁在那边
Hey, who's there? Who goes there?
奴隶别跑怎么
Stop, slave! What...?
我很抱歉女士
My apologies, ma'am.
我还以为你是个想捣乱的奴隶呢
I thought you might be one trouble-making slave,
原来却是位
but you're clearly an
-读报的文雅女士啊 -没错
- educated woman readin' a newspaper, ain't you. - Indeed.
-再见啦女士 -再见
- Well, good evenin', ma'am. - You, too.
太神奇了
Wow! That's amazin'!
小菜一碟
That's nothin'.
给你们看看我的终极乔装装备
Wait til you see my ultimate disguise.
拿着鸡的女士
Lady carryin' a chicken.
拿着鸡的女士
Lady carryin' a chicken?
这是真的
骗人的吧
Now you gotta be havin' us on!
那边怎么谁在那儿
Hey! What in the...? Who's there?
什么声音奴隶别跑
What's all that noise? Stop, slave!
很抱歉
My mistake.
原来是位拿着鸡的女士啊
It's just a lady carryin' a chicken.
看这小鸡多可爱啊
Now, look at that funny little chicken!
我最爱鸡了
Oh, I love all the chicken!
再见啦女士
Well, evenin', ma'am.
可爱的小鸡啊
Oh, that crazy chicken!
太神奇了
Well, that was amazin'!
他的注意力完全被鸡吸引住了
He was so distracted by your chicken,
根本就没怎么看你
he didn't even notice you!
女士要么就是你太聪明了
Lady, either you very, very clever
要么就是这些奴隶主太傻了
or these slave owners are very, very stupid.
二者兼有吧二者兼有
A little bit of both, boys. A little bit of both.
摩西奶奶的真名叫哈莉特·塔布曼
Grandma Moses' real name was Harriet Tubman.
美国内战期间
In the American Civil War,
她指挥了一场武装突袭
she commanded an armed military raid
解放了七百多名奴隶
freeing over 700 slaves,
因此成为了美国历史上第一位
and making her the first woman in American history
带领士兵作战的妇女领袖
to lead soldiers into battle.
鼠君无所不知
The rat knows all.
腐朽古罗马
什么事
Yes?
你好先生我是罗马便便销♥售♥商
Hello, sir. I'm a Roman poo seller.
今天要不要买♥♥点儿
Would you like to buy some today?
不用了谢谢我自给自足
No, thanks. I make my own.
古罗马确实有便便销♥售♥商
-我说过不用了 -是这样先生
- I said no. - Yes, sir.
我负责清扫城里的公共厕所
I clean the communal toilets in the city,
因而收集的便便质量奇高
so the poo I collected is of a very high quality.
说句老实话你的便便
Your poo, I think it's fair to say,
不过就是农民的便便
is just peasant poo,
就是些卷心菜跟萝卜罢了
made up of cabbages and turnips.
而这里面却有罗马元老的便便
Some of this is from the bottoms of Roman senators, sir.
元老们可是食物丰盛富含水果和肉类
And they have a very rich diet, full of fruit and meat.
想想看这得多有营养啊
Think of the nutrients.
我自己的确实不够浇整片地
I suppose I do have trouble making enough for the whole field.
保证物有所值啊先生
It's worth its weight in gold, sir.
你的庄稼绝对会长势喜人的
Your crops will flourish.
-那我买♥♥点儿试试吧 -很好
- Alright. I'll take some to try. - Lovely.
不会让你后悔的
You will not regret it.
绝对是你做过的最英明的决定
This is the best decision you've ever made.
看啊多好的便便啊再见啦
Look at that. Handsome! See ya.
真应该要个袋子来着
Should've asked for a bag.
没错古罗马的厕所清洁员
That's right. Roman toilet cleaners
的确曾把便便卖♥♥给农民
used to sell poo to farmers.
而且绝对供应充足我可以保证
And there was plenty of it, I can tell you.
因为古罗马的富人酷爱
Because rich Romans loved
在晚宴上暴饮暴食
to stuff themselves silly at dinner parties.
大家晚上好我是位古罗马的上流人士
Ave, viewer. I'm a very posh Roman.
如果你想融入古罗马上层社会
And if you want to fit into polite Roman society,
就必须先学会一些简单的规则
there's a few simple rules you need to learn first.
下面就是古罗马晚宴上的行为规范
Here's how to behave at a Roman dinner party.
第一条注意吃相
No.1. Eating your food.
用刀叉吃饭多粗鲁啊
Eating with cutlery. How rude!
有教养的古罗马人都是直接用手抓着吃
A good Roman will always eat with his fingers.
这是真的
没错这就文雅多了
Oh, yes. That's far more polite.
第二条餐桌礼仪
No.2. Table manners.
请见谅
'Scuse me.
没错好极了
Oh, yes. Very good.
打嗝就是告诉主人
Burping shows your host that
你对饭菜非常满意
you have enjoyed your meal.
古罗马人确实这么认为
第三条如厕守则
No.3. Going to the toilet.
你要去哪儿
Where are you going?
古罗马人绝对不会离开餐桌去方便
A Roman would never leave the table to have a wee-wee.
你应该让奴隶把便壶拿过来
You'd get a slave to bring the pot to you.
这是真的
可要是我没法在众目睽睽之下如厕怎么办
But what if I can't go when everyone's watching?
那就试着想想输水道
Um... try thinking about an aqueduct
或者喷泉什么的吧
or a fountain or something.
第四条酒足饭饱后
And No.4. What to do when you're full.
我吃不下了太撑了
No, I can't eat any more. I'm too full.
有教养的罗马人永远不会觉得撑
A good Roman is never full.
拿根羽毛轻搔嗓子眼
Tickle the back of your throat with a feather
直到吐出来为止
until you are sick,
重复几次
and then repeat.
古罗马人的确会这么干
现在你就知道
And now you know
在罗马上层社会该怎么做了
how to behave in polite Roman society.