糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S02E09
Part 4
Jan. 3, 2021, 2:10 p.m.
你还好意思嫌双数麻烦
Huh! And you thought double maths was bad!
难怪他们一些传说听起来有点混乱
No wonder some of their stories sound a bit mixed up.
糟糕历史电视台
新闻联播
大家好 欢迎收看《那时新闻》
Hello and welcome to the News At When.
那时就是11世纪
When? The 1000s.
印加人开始在南美出现
And in South America the Incas have emerged
并开始建立自己的帝国
and set about building their very own empire.
他们关于自己起源的传说十分惊人
They have an incredible story of how it all happened.
有些是真的 大部分大概是假的
Some of it is true, a lot of it probably isn't.
不管怎样 请听鲍勃·黑尔的印加报道
But here, anyway, is Bob Hale with the Incan report. Bob...
谢谢 萨姆 大约1070年左右
Thank you, Sam. Well, the year is 1070 or thereabouts.
这里是秘鲁 就在此时
That there is Peru and the Incan people
印加人将从洞中奇迹般地一跃而出
are just about to magically appear from a cave.
秘鲁 很久以前
我知道这听着很奇怪 你也可以不信
I know it sounds a bit weird and you don't have to believe the story,
但重要的是 印加人相信了
the important thing is, the Incans believed it.
印加人认证
所以就一代代人 口口相传
So one generation will tell it to the next, who will tell it to the next...
就像我现在讲给你的这样
just like I'm telling it to you right now,
但没有这么炫的领带
but without the rather fetching tie.
第一个从洞里跳出来的 就是曼科
So first out of the cave then we have this chap -- Manco,
接着是他的兄弟姐妹
followed by his brothers and sisters
和其他印加人
and all the rest of the Incan people.
曼科任命自己为君王 为了保住王位
And Manco appoints himself leader and to ensure he stays that way,
首任君主
他神速地杀光了全部兄弟 有备无患嘛
promptly kills all his brothers. Better safe than sorry!
接着他娶了自己的妹妹 还生了孩子
Then he marries his sister, yuck! They have children, yuck!
然后在一个叫库斯科的地方定居了
They settle in a place called Cuzco, yuck!
对于库斯科原来的居民 这真是糟透了
At least it's yuck for the people who already live there
库斯科
因为印加人就直接把他们踢走了 拜拜
because the Incans just kick them out. See ya!
曼科就成了库斯科第一任君王
So, Manco becomes the first Lord of Cuzco.
印加人有了家园 这段就讲完了
The Incans have a place to call home and that is the end of that.
首任君主 曼科
一把手
好景不长
But not for long!
蛮王曼科翘辫子后
When mighty Manco pops his socks,
大家为孩子中谁来继承王位大吵了一架
there's a big argument about which of his sons will replace him.
还好曼科太太自有办法
Luckily Mrs Manco sorts it out.
她想要自己最喜欢的孩子辛奇继承王位
She wants it to be her favourite son, Sinchi,
最喜欢的儿子
所以她让他穿上一件炫目的纯金外衣
So, she dresses him up in this pure gold tunic,
快赶上我这领带炫了
one that's almost as fetching as my tie,
然后声称他是太阳神
and pretends that he's the Sun God,
这计划居然成功了
a plan which quite unbelievably works.
太阳神
当然大家谁也不会跟太阳神争
And since no-one's gonna argue with a Sun God,
所以辛奇就成了库斯科第二位君主
Sinchi becomes the second Lord of Cuzco.
第二任君主 辛奇
好景不长
But not for long!
在发明了皇家官方发型后
After inventing the official royal haircut,
我没开玩笑
yes, I'm serious,
略克大人取代了辛奇 他奇丑无比
Sinchi is replaced by Lord Lloque, who is so ugly
以至于他老婆都不想多看他一眼
his own wife can't bear to look at him.
第三任君主 略克
敏感内容 不予显示
说实话他就像一盘子肉馅
Honestly, he looks like a plate of mince.
倒霉啊略克
Unlucky, Lloque.
然后就是迈塔这大家伙 他真是够大的
Then comes this big bully, a chap called Mayta. And I mean he's big!
第四任君主 迈塔
大
他1岁时都跟8岁小孩一般大小了
By the age of one, he was the size of an eight-year-old child.
大
想想这尿布得多恐怖 恶
Just imagine the nappies. Yuck!
臭尿布
接着是他儿子卡帕克 人称难忘王子
Then along comes his son, Capac. He's known as the Unforgettable Prince
第五任君主 卡帕克
他接着就...消失在历史中了
and is then... promptly forgotten about.
我们对他完全一无所知
Seriously we know nothing about him.
除了下一任君王是他儿子 叫罗卡
Except, he was followed by his son, Roca.
第六任君主 罗卡
再下一任是罗卡的儿子 亚瓦尔
Who was then followed by his son, Yahua,
第七任君主 亚瓦尔
他被自己的儿子维拉科查谋害
who was then murdered by his son Viracocha,
维拉科查不满足于仅是库斯科君王
who, not satisfied of being Lord of Cuzco,
第八代君主 维拉科查
弑父者
他还要大家叫他上帝
insists on being called God.
上帝
够狂不 相当狂
Big headed? Much!
自大狂
你觉得这就是傲慢了
And if you thought that was arrogant?
那你该看看他都干了些什么
You should see what he gets up to.
不满足于仅在库斯科称王
Not content with ruling Cuzco,
他开始四处讨♥伐♥ 侵占领土
he starts taking over all the neighbouring lands
很快 恃强欺弱就成了他们的家族事业
and pretty soon, this bullying becomes the family business.
维拉科查父子 职业恶霸
没错 他儿子帕查库提和孙子图帕
Yes, along comes his son, Pachacuti and his grandson, Topa
接着占领了大量的土地足够成立独一无二的
who take over enough land to create the one and only...
印加帝国
印加帝国
TA-DA, Incan empire!
故事就讲到这了
And that is the end of that.
错了
Or so we thought!
1493年瓦伊纳成了印加君王
Then in 1493, Huayna becomes the Incan emperor.
印加君王瓦伊纳
在他往北出征厄瓜多尔时
While he's off conquering Ecuador, up there,
南方的库斯科有麻烦了
trouble turns up, back down in Cuzco,
厄瓜多尔
麻烦大概长成这样
Trouble that looks like this.
异形
ALIENS!
不 不是 是病菌
No, no, not really. It's germs.
一场起于玻利维亚的瘟疫
There's a plague from Bolivia down there,
席卷印加帝国 杀死了成千上万人
swept up, killing thousands of thousands of Incans.
瓦伊纳干了什么呢 他跑回了家
What does Huayna do? He rushes home,
得了瘟疫 死了
catches the plague, and dies.
真是个白♥痴♥
What an idiot!
当印加人♥大♥量死于瘟疫时
While the incans are busy dying of plague,
更大的麻烦来了
even more trouble turns up.
异形
ALIENS!
不 不是 是西班牙征服者
No, not really, it's the Spanish Conquistadors,
西班牙征服者
他们想要印加价值连城的黄金
who want all of the valuable Incan gold.
那他们带来了什么呢
What do they bring with them?
异形
ALIENS!
不 不是 是更多的病菌
No, no, no, just even more germs,
这次是来自欧洲的疾病
diseases from Europe this time.
天花 这可惹出了大♥麻♥烦
Smallpox in fact, which should've been go Big Pox,
天花
大天花
因为它杀死太多印加人了
because it killed so many Incans.
从走出洞穴到成长为庞大帝国
So, after going from one tiny cave to an entire empire,
至此 印加文明毁灭于
the Incans people are all but wiped out
西班牙征服者的贪婪掠夺
by a combination of Spanish greediness,
自身较弱的体质和无药可救的可怕瘟疫
Incan weediness, wheezes, sneezes and diseases.
和其他什么膝盖 租约 海风
Not by knobbly knees-es, short-term leases, ceaseless sea breezes,
寒冬 日本或奶酪拼盘一点关系都没有
winter freezes, the Japanese-es or this selection of Greek cheeses,
包括这块羊乳酪 我对这东西严重过敏
including this crumbly feta to which, I am horribly allergic.
其实我没事
Oh, no, I'm fine actually.
不对 我有事
Oh, no, I'm not!
邪恶的维多利亚时代
下面布置作业
So, that's your homework.
威尔士 1847年
学100个英语单词
Learn 100 English words.
可以不做吗 老师
Do we have to, Miss?
必须做
Yes, you do!
威尔士所有的学校都由英格兰人管理
The English run all the schools in Wales,
这是真的
我们讲什么语言
so which language do we speak?
英语 老师
English, Miss.
我要是听到你们讲威尔士语怎么办
And what happens if I hear you speaking Welsh?
要戴"不说威尔士语"小牌子 老师
We have to wear the Welsh Not, Miss.
维多利亚时代禁止在威尔士学校说威尔士语
没错
That's right.
要戴"不说威尔士语"小牌子
You have to put on the Welsh Not
就像詹金斯一样
like Jenkins, here.
不说威尔士语
詹金斯 你说了一个威尔士单词是吧
Jenkins, you used a Welsh word, didn't you?
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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