糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S02E06
Part 2
Jan. 3, 2021, 2:10 p.m.
快来罗马竞技场 买♥♥张彩票
Come to my Roman arena, grab yourself a ticket
看看什么惊喜等着你
and see what you've won!
不可思议 我赢得了一个奴隶
I don't believe it! I've won a slave.
奴 隶
奴 隶
大惊小怪 我刚赢了一座新房♥子
That's nothing. I've just won a new house.
新房♥子
新房♥子
-真好 -太棒了
- Yes! - Brilliant!
问题是 总是给他们好的奖励
Thing is, doing all this good stuff
会变得很无聊
can get really boring.
所以我决定给游戏增加点趣味性
So I've decided to spice things up a bit
现在并不是所有奖品都那么好了
and now not all my prizes are quite so nice.
等等 我也赢了点东西
Wait up, I've won something as well.
是死狗
Agh! It's a dead dog!
死 狗
死 狗
他真的送出过这些奖品
我的恶作剧真够劲啊
My practical jokes are well grimy.
死狗 他可真倒霉
A dead dog! That's so mingin'.
看看我赢了什么
I wonder what I've won.
是蜜蜂 是蜜蜂
Oh! It's bees! It's bees!
蜜 蜂
蜜 蜂
一整箱的蜜蜂 他可被蛰爽了
A box full of bees! He's well stung, man.
罗马大乐透太"玩"美了
Romo Lottery Millions is prank-tastic.
我甚至让抽奖变得更加激动人心
I've even made the ticket bit more exciting.
用弹弓发射它们
I fire them from catapults
然后人们就会上去哄抢
and the crowd have to scramble to get them.
不过有时候我也会
Only sometimes I put some
放些毒蛇在里面
poisonous snakes in as well.
是真的
看他们啊
Look at them!
来玩我的"玩"美罗马大乐透吧
Yeah. Play my prank-tastic Romo Lottery Millions.
真让人或惊或喜啊 伙计
It's well random, dog!
请注意 被毒蛇咬到
Warning. Being bitten to death by poisonous snakes
或被踩踏可能会导致死亡
or being trampled to death may result in death.
这是必须的
Most def.
不是所有人都喜欢赫利奥盖巴勒斯的幽默感
Not everyone liked Elagabalus's sense of humour.
像很多皇帝一样
Like many emperors
他最后在罗马被暗♥杀♥
he ended up being murdered in Rome.
为避免同样被杀的命运
To avoid the same fate
提庇留大帝搬到了卡普里岛[意大利南部]
Emperor Tiberius moved to the island of Capri
但他还是时刻害怕被暗♥杀♥
but he still lived in fear of assassination.
罗马提庇留大帝
Emperor Tiberius of Rome.
门外通报说有一个人想要见您
I have received word from the gate there is a man here to see you.
提庇留大帝
Emperor Tiberius?
-他是杀手吗 -不是
- Is he an assassin? - No.
你确定他不会杀我
Are you sure he won't kill me?
我来到卡普里岛的唯一原因
The only reason I came to the island of Capri
就是躲避杀手
was to get away from the assassins.
他不是来杀您的
He's not here to kill you.
他是来欢迎您的
He's here to welcome you.
他还为您带了礼物之类的
He's got you a nice present and everything.
好吧 让他进来
OK, show him in.
伟大的提庇留大帝
Oh, great Emperor Tiberius.
我给您带了一件礼物
I have brought you a gift.
就是这条鱼
It is this fish.
守卫 守卫 这个人
Guards! Guards! This man
想用这条鱼杀了我
is going to try and kill me with this fish!
-什么 -他说鱼吗
- What? - Did he say fish?
真实事件
他又想多了
He's just being paranoid again.
他要用鱼切开我的肚子
He'll use the fish to open my guts
砍掉我的头
and cut off my head
然后把我的内脏从脖子那里塞进去
and then he's going to shove my guts down my neck
接着用我的头玩掂球
and use my head to play keepie-uppie.
之后他要把我扔进海里
Then he's going to throw me into the sea.
-抓住他 -什么 我没有
- Seize him! - What? I wasn't.
这就是条死鱼
This is just a dead fish!
是份礼物
It's a gift.
把鱼拿走 用它擦他的脸
Take the fish and rub it on his face.
真实发生过
-什么 -是 皇帝
- What? - Yes, Emperor.
兄弟 对不起了
Sorry about this, mate.
看 鱼鳞都快把他脸蹭下来了
See. The scales are taking his face off.
我就说那是条危险的鱼嘛
I told you it was a dangerous fish.
让他亲那鱼
Make him kiss it.
来 亲亲吧
Here, kiss it.
-用鱼打他 -说真的
- Hit him with it. - Seriously...
得到教训了没
That teach you, won't it.
我说 幸好
I tell you what, it's a good job
我没把大螃蟹带进来
I didn't bring in the massive crab.
-别说出来 -什么
- Don't say that... - What?
把大螃蟹拿进来
Bring me this massive crab.
太二了
我不是说真的 我开玩笑呢
I didn't mean it... It's just a joke.
夹他的鼻子 太棒了
Pinch his nose with it. Ooh, yes!
感觉怎么样 笨蛋
How do you like them eggs?
看你还敢不敢再做杀手
That teach you to be a nasty assassin.
早知道就带花算了
I should have just brought flowers.
坏坏先生
Mister bad man!
干得不错 伙计们
Well done guys.
那是真的 妄想症患者
That's true. Paranoid
提庇留真的用鱼去擦了那人的脸
Tiberius did rub that man's face with a fish.
他不是唯一的胆小猫皇帝
He wasn't the only scaredy cat emperor.
图密善将他宫殿的墙
Domitian had the walls of his palace
磨得像镜子一样亮
polished like mirrors
这样他就可以看到偷偷靠近他的人了
so he could see people sneaking up on him.
我不是胆小猫 我怕死猫咪了
I'm no scaredy cat though. I'm petrifiedy of them!
牛气的撒克逊人
撒克逊天气预报
脏农民埃德温报道
欢迎各位收看撒克逊天气预报
Hello and welcome to the Saxon weather forecast
在这里我们运用最可靠的撒克逊迷信
where we use the most reliable Saxon superstitions
来预测天气
to predict the weather.
在威尔士海岸
Off the coast of Wales,
有人看到海豚跃出水面
dolphins have been spotted leaping out of the water
大风警报
当然也就意味着
which of course means
将有狂风到来
gale force winds are to follow.
苏格兰的天气不错
Good news up in Scotland
我们看到傍晚的天空是红色的
where we've seen some red sky at nights.
天气温和
这里的天气将会很温和
Expect calm weather there.
不过这一预测的前提是红光
That's assuming the red sky
不是维京人抢夺修道院后点起的大火
wasn't actually a monastery on fire after a Viking raid.
维京人袭击
在肯特
Over in Kent,
夜航时桨橹溅起的水花
some splashes from oars have been spotted
闪闪发亮
glittering on a night voyage.
风暴预警
那只能代表一件事
That can only mean one thing
一场风暴正在酝酿之中
there's a storm brewing.
周日天气
不要忘了周日有场雷雨
Don't forget on Sunday there was a thunderstorm.
雷雨警报
对电视机前的修士和修女来说是坏消息
Bad news for any monks or nuns watching
因为那意味着你们中有人就要死了
as that means some of you are going to die.
周三也将打雷
On Wednesday there's also going to be thunder
对懒女人来说很不幸
which is unfortunate for lazy women
周三打雷
因为那意味着她们也要死了
as it means they'll die too.
以上就是我们要播报的全部内容
That's about all we've got time for
祝各位拥有愉快的一周
so have a nice week,
除非你是修女而且还很懒
unless you're a nun and you're lazy,
那样你就死定了 晚安
in which case you're totally stuffed! Good night.
我们撒克逊人真的相信那些
We Saxons really believed all that.
多迷信的一群人啊 是吧
What a superstitious bunch, eh!
我们很害怕鬼魂
We were terrified of ghosts
我们有很多有趣的想法来阻止它们靠近
and we had some funny ideas about how to keep them at bay.
-你好 亲爱的 -你好
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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