糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S02E02
Part 4
Jan. 3, 2021, 2:09 p.m.
Happy Christmas.
现在把他们锁起来 然后把钥匙扔了
Now lock 'em up and throw away the key!
奥利弗·克伦威尔确实禁止了
Oliver cromwell really did ban
很多有趣的事情
pretty much anything that was fun.
连圣诞节也没放过
Even Christmas, yeah!
不过背地里 他还是喜欢音乐和抽烟
Though secretly, he still liked music and smoking.
圣诞节是罪恶的 可是抽烟却没问题
So Christmas was sinful, but smoking was ok.
真是怪人一个
What a weirdo!
怪不得人人都希望国王
No wonder everybody wanted the king
重登王位
back on the throne.
朕的名字是 朕的名字是*
*My name is, my name is
朕的名字是 查理二世*
*My name is...Charles II
朕爱人人啊人人爱朕*
*I love the people and the people love me
爱朕爱到让朕复辟*
*So much that they restored the English monarchy
朕有苏格兰 法国 意大利血统*
*I'm part Scottish, French, Italian
还带点儿丹麦风*
*A little bit Dane
绝对纯正聚会狂*
*But 100% party animal
来点儿香槟*
*Champagne
朕心爱的猎犬也以朕命名*
*Spaniels, I adore, named after me too
像朕一样顶着萌发型*
*Like me, they were fun with a natty hairdo
今乃朕生辰 回忆不起来*
*Is today my birthday? I can't recall
聚会照样开 舞会朕所爱*
*Let's have a party anyway because I love a masked ball
让我们欢呼 耀眼的 吾王*
*All hail, the King of bling
让我们歌♥唱 铃儿响 叮当*
*Let's sing! Bells ring! Ding ding
朕乃英君 把聚会解禁*
*I'm the king who brought back partying
父王丢王位 国无君主制*
*King Charles, my daddy, lost his throne, and kings were banned
脑袋搬了家 奥利掌权势*
*They chopped off his head, then Olly Cromwell ruled the land
奥利不欢庆 阴郁又狂妄*
*Old Olly wasn't jolly. He was glum, and he was proud
如罪孽般痛苦 但罪孽不合法*
*Would be miserable as sin. Only sinning's not allowed
人死众齐喊 查理我心肝*
*When Olly died, the people said "Charlie, me hearty"
峻法抛脑后 一起来狂欢*
*Get rid of his dull laws! Come back, we'd rather party
这就是人所称的君主制复辟*
*This action's what they called the Monarchy Restoration
想当然紧跟着有一场大趴体*
*Which naturally was followed by a huge celebration
我大英 好国王*
*The King of Eng
无罪恶 要歌♥唱*
*No sin! To sing
没问题 都可以*
*OK! Or anything
朕乃英君 把聚会解禁*
*All say, I'm the King who brought back partying
伦敦大火真疯狂*
*Great London Fire was a whopper
烧得首都遍地荒*
*In my reign London city came a cropper
事实证明朕真乃明君贤主*
*So this king did what was right and proper
能歌♥善舞还懂得治火安邦*
*Fought the fire proved I'm more than a bopper
朕乃灭火勇士*
*I'm a fire stopper
朕妻凯瑟琳 爱人奉真心*
*Married Catherine Braganza. She was a love so true
永无人取代 或许一俩亲*
*There would never be another. Well, maybe one or two
露西·沃尔特 内尔·格温*
*Lucy Walter, Nell Gwyn
莫尔·戴维斯 芭芭拉·维利尔斯*
*Moll Davis, Barbara Villiers
此名不悦耳 名傻还有她*
*You think that's bad but her name's not as silly as
霍顿斯·曼奇尼*
*Hortense Mancini
身为国之主 着实太花心*
*As King, I must admit I broke the wedding rules
不过谁介意 御宝我寻回*
*But who cares when I brought back the Crown Jewels
圣诞美红妆 体育戏剧忙*
*I reinstated Christmas, makeup, sport and even plays
朕乃快活君 美好旧时光*
*I was the Merry Monarch. They were good old days
说得好听 做得顺心*
*Well said and done
查理国王美名传 快乐统治英格兰*
*King Charles. Did run England for fun
朕乃英主人人爱 欢歌♥笑语停这边*
*I was the King loved by everyone. My song is done
来聚会吗
Party, anyone?
可怕古埃及
真假辨析
True or false?
克利奥帕特拉女王第一任夫君
Queen Cleopatra's first marriage
是一个十二岁的孩子
was to a twelve year-old.
答案是 真的
It's true.
他还是她的弟弟
And he also her brother!
事实上 她嫁给过两个亲兄弟
In fact, she married two of her brothers,
和一位罗马将军约会过
dated one Roman general
又和另一个结了婚
and married another.
每一个都以悲剧收场
All of whom came to sticky ends.
克利奥基本上可以说是真正的爱情杀手
So, basically Cleo was a real love rat.
可不是夸她哦
And not in a good way.
靠近克利奥十分危险
Getting close to Cleo was a dangerous business.
要是古埃及那会儿有互联网
If ancient Egyptians had had the internet,
你可不会想去加她好友
you wouldn't have wanted to be her online friend.
试想一下
Just imagine!
您收到一封邮件
您收到一封邮件
马克·安东尼在木乃伊网上
Mark Antony has accepted me
加我为好友了
as a friend on Mummy-bo.
马克·安东尼在木乃伊网上接受了您的好友请求
点击这里查看马克·安东尼的资料
太棒了
Excellent!
谢谢你加我为好友 笑脸象形文字
Thanks for the add. Smiley hieroglyph.
给马库斯留言
马克·安东尼来电
是他
Oh. It's him!
-克利奥帕特拉女王你好 -你好
- Hello, Queen Cleopatra! - Hail yourself!
我刚才在看你的木乃伊网资料
I was just looking at your Mummy-bo profile
看来你没有多少好友啊
and I couldn't help but notice you haven't got many friends.
是啊 以前有我的姐姐
Yeah, I did have my sister,
克利奥帕特拉六世
Pharaoh Cleopatra VI,
但她后来不明不白地死了
but she died in suspicious circumstances.
还有我另一个姐姐贝勒尼基四世
And my other sister, Pharaoh Berenice IV,
但她后来被砍了头
but she was executed.
然后还有我的异母兄弟们
Then there were my half-brothers,
托勒密十三世 淹死了
Pharaoh Ptolemy XIII, drowned,
和托勒密十四世 被毒死了
and Pharaoh Ptolemy XIV, poisoned.
听起来
Sounds like
继承埃及王位是件很危险的事 克利奥
being on the throne in Egypt is a dangerous job, Cleo.
你就不害怕吗
Do you never get scared?
不会 我会没事的
Oh, no, no, no, I'll be fine.
浪漫罗马
罗马顶级在线婚介服务
只要有个强壮的罗马人在我身边
I just need a powerful Roman to stand alongside me.
欢迎登陆我们的网站，输入密♥码♥"万岁"可免费试用三个月
就像凯撒吗 你们约会过吧
What, like Caesar? Didn't you date him?
-是啊 -现在他死了
- Yeah. - Now he's dead.
没错 话说
Yeah. About that,
现在正好是空窗期 你想跟我约会吗
there's now a vacancy, so do you want to go out with me?
不想
No.
求你了求你了求你了
Oh, please, please, please!
我把你加入我的好友前十名单
I'll put you on my top-ten friends list.
好吧 一不做二不休
Oh, OK. In for a denarius, in for a sestertius.
原来你只有两个好友啊 另外这个是谁
More like a top-two friends list. Who's this other one?
-那是我妹妹阿尔西诺伊 -真不容易
- Oh, yeah, that's my sister Arsinoe. - At last!
你家族里竟然还有活着的成员
A member of your family who isn't dead!
说到这回事
Mm, about that...
克利奥
Cleo!
问题是 她是最后一个威胁我王位的人
Yeah, the thing is, she's the last threat to my throne
我必须得让她死
so I need to have Arsinoe killed.
预约刺杀
你不介意
You don't mind
我把你的名字写在暗♥杀♥令上吧
if I put your name on the assassination warrant, do you?
-求你了求你了求你了 -好吧
- Please, please, please! - Oh, OK.
被害人: 埃及阿尔西诺伊四世
你的名字: 马克·安东尼将军
好了 讨厌的工作 可不得不做
There we go! Nasty business but had to be done.
是否在现场留下个性化信息
您预订的暗♥杀♥正在进行中
请等待 不要刷新页面
现在我们能和平地统治埃及帝国了
Now you and me can rule the Egyptian empire in peace.
真棒
Right, great.
暗♥杀♥完成!
那是什么声音
Oh, what was that noise?
交易出现问题
点击这里
-出什么事了吗 -是的
- Did something go wrong? - Oh, yeah.
好像交易出了点问题
It says there's a problem with the transaction.
可能只是我的纸莎支付宝账户需要升级
I probably just need to update my PapyrusPal account.
阿尔西诺伊于神殿台阶上被杀
震惊罗马
-怎么了 怎么回事 -不好
- What? What is it? - Yeah.
好像你谋杀阿尔西诺伊的时候
Turns out Arsinoe was on the steps of a sacred temple
-她正在神殿的台阶上 -我谋杀她
- when you murdered her. - When I murdered her?
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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