糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S02E02

Part 3 Jan. 3, 2021, 2:09 p.m.

Evil spirits, what a nightmare!
你知道我在说什么
You know what I'm on about.
我是说
I mean,
把祖先的尸体保存在罐子里是挺不错的
Keeping your ancestors' dead bodies in a jar is great.
但如果他们的灵魂跑了怎么办
But what happens if their spirits escape?
笨手笨脚的
Oh, clumsy!
在你发现之前恶灵已经进入你的房♥间
Before you know it, an evil spirit has entered your house,
古希腊人真的相信这个
并且开始传播疾病
and started spreading illness and disease.
所以你需要
That's why you need...
阻击恶灵门框沥青
evil-spirit prevention door-frame tar.
给门框涂上一层厚厚的恶心粘腻的沥青
Give the doorframe a nice, thick coat of yucky, sticky tar.
然后观察那些恶灵被粘在上面
Then just watch as those evil spirits get stuck to it,
一次一次又一次
again and again and again.
处理掉你的恶灵就用
Tackle your demons with...
阻击恶灵门框沥青
evil-spirit prevention door-frame tar.
功效如同罐上所写
It does exactly what it says on the jar.
我们古希腊人非常迷信
We ancient greeks were quite superstitious.
我们相信鬼魂和占星
We believed in ghosts and horoscopes
以及神明决定着我们的命运
And that the gods decided our fate.
我们认为神明通过神谕来传达讯息
We thought the gods spoke through oracles,
那样我们就可以了解未来
and so we could learn about the future.
你好有什么需要帮助的孩子
Hi. How may I help you, my son?
你好我想向德尔菲神使
Hello. Um, I'm mean to seek counsel
寻求咨♥询♥
from the oracle of Delphi.
你想知道未来
Ah, you wish to know the future.
我是剧作家埃斯库罗斯
Well, I'm Aeschylus the playwright.
你可能认出我了
You might recognise me.
我正在写一部新剧
Well, anyway, I've just written a new play,
我只想知道
and I just want to know
它会不会成功
if it's going to be a success or not.
好吧别担心
Ah, well. Don't you worry.
神使很乐意
'tis the oracle's greatest pleasure
帮助希腊的好人们
to relieve the good people of Greece
解除不确定所带来的压力
of the burden of uncertainty.
很好是不是就从这进去
Excellent. Great. Is it just through here?
需要一些行政费用
There are certain administrative expenses
辅助神使进行日常管理
associated with the management of a good oracle...
是的当然
Yes, of course.
给你
There we go.
提供水和暖气需要钱
There's water and heating. Funds.
好的
Ok, um...
还要维护庙宇
And there's temple maintenance as well.
神谕很贵
-注意到屋顶了吗 -好吧
- Have you noticed the roof? - Ok.
神使正等着你呢
The oracle awaits you.
-谢谢 -进来
- Thank you. - Enter.
伟大而智慧的神使
Oh, great and wise oracle.
可以帮我问问太阳神阿波罗
Will you please ask the God Apollo
我的命运如何吗
what the fates have in store for me?
神使讲的是神明使用的奇怪语言
The oracle speaks in the strange language of the gods.
但我们提供翻译服务
But we do provide a translation service.
-真的吗 -价格合理
- Really? - At a very reasonable price.
好的
Yeah, ok.
谢谢
Yes. Thank you.
她说你会花一大笔钱
She says you will spend a lot of money.
这是我现在在做的事
That is what I'm doing now.
我想知道未来会发生什么
I want to know what's going to happen in the future.
我的剧会不会成功你能不能
Is my play going to be a success? Will you...?
你想要追加翻译服务吗
Do you require additional translation services?
好吧是的
Unbe... yeah. Right.
她说 "小心乌龟"
She says, "beware the tortoise".
答案通常是难以理解的
真的吗小心乌龟
Really? Beware the tortoise.
我可以撒谎可是
Well, I could lie, but...
这很好真的很棒真的
That's good. That's really excellent, actually!
不斩来使兄弟
Don't shoot the messenger, mate.
谢谢什么忙都没帮上
Thanks for nothing.
你也一样
Yeah, same to you.
什么人啊他连小费都没给
Honestly. He didn't even leave a tip!
真荒谬我在想什么
Ridiculous. What was I thinking?
小心乌龟这绝对是
Beware the tortoise! It's absolute...
她真棒
Oh, she's good. She's...
这是真的埃斯库罗斯真的是
It's true. Aeschylus really was killed
被一只鹰扔下的乌龟砸中脑袋而死的
when an eagle dropped a tortoise on his head.
鹰以为他闪亮的秃头是块石头
The bird thought his shiny bald patch was a rock,
想用它来砸开乌龟的壳
and tried to use it smash open the tortoise's shell.
这就是乌龟与秃头的故事
And that's the story of the tortoise and the no-hair.
"嘘下去吧"
"Boo, get 'im off!"
我竟然自己哄自己的台
Even I'm heckling myself.
卑劣的斯图亚特王朝
赢得英国内战胜利后
After the English civil war,
奥利弗·克伦威尔统治着英国
Oliver cromwell ruled England.
他禁止了几乎所有娱乐
And he disapproved of just about anything fun.
圣诞第一天*
*On the first day of Christmas
真爱送我到*
*My true love sent to me
-奥利表兄 -圣诞节快乐老兄
- Cousin Ollie! - Merry Christmas, old bean!
亲戚们你们是怎么通过守卫的
Oh, relatives. How did you get past the guards?
我们只是想顺道
We just thought we'd pop by
来祝你圣诞快乐
to wish you a very merry Christmas.
圣诞快乐
Merry christmas!
我是清教♥徒♥ 不过圣诞节
I'm a puritan, I don't celebrate Christmas.
其实我已经把圣诞节禁掉了
In fact, I've had it banned.
那你应该不会
Well, you won't say no
拒绝圣诞晚宴吧
to a spot of Christmas dinner, will you?
-给你带了一只鹅 -守卫
- We brought you a goose! - Guards!
你在干什么
What are you doing?
圣诞晚宴被禁了这是罪恶的
Christmas dinner is banned, it's sinful.
我已命令守卫没收所有的烤鹅
I've ordered the army to confiscate all roast geese.
守卫
Guards!
鹅不要就是了不要
We'll lose the goose, we'll lose the goose.
没问题
It's fine.
那咱一起去酒吧吧
Why don't we all go down to the pub or something?
-守卫 -又怎么了
- Guards! - What now?
酒吧被禁了那是罪恶的
Pubs are banned, they are sinful.
好那去剧院怎样
Fine, fine. Why don't we all go to the theatre?
守卫
Guards!
-让我猜猜被禁了吗 -是的
-Let me guess, banned. -Yes!
-这是罪恶的 -好吧
- It's sinful! - All right, all right.
那就去公园里狂欢一下吧
Why don't we have a festive kick-about in the park?
-守卫 -什么
- Guards! - What?
-你不能禁体育吧那是 -罪恶的
- You can't ban sport, it's... - ..Sinful!
你们必须理解这些无意义的活动
You have to understand, these frivolous events
对清教♥徒♥信奉基♥督♥产生了干扰
distract us puritans from our devotion to Christ.
我们得干点什么啊
Well, we have to do something.
露西都打扮好了
Lucy's all made up.
用化妆品吗
With make-up?
-是的 -守卫
- Yes. - Guards!
又来了
Oh, come on.
化妆品是罪恶的
Make-up is sinful!
尤其是那眼影配上你这上衣
Especially that eye shadow with that top.
-怎么了 -没什么
- What? - Nothing.
等会儿我知道了咱们去教堂吧
Wait a minute. I've got it! why don't we all go to church? I mean,
教堂不是罪恶的吧
church isn't sinful, is it?
不当然不是
No, of course not.
那就一起去教堂吧
Well, let's all go to church!
守卫把他们抓起来
Guard! seize them.
圣诞节当天去教堂是违法的
It's against the law to go to church on Christmas Day.
把这些罪人关起来
Take these sinners to prison.
-但是 -什么
- But...! - What?
等会儿
Wait.
怎么了
Yes?
圣诞快乐