糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S02E08
Part 3
Jan. 3, 2021, 2:10 p.m.
No, zat is what I want from you.
什么
What?
开玩笑吧
You are joking, right?
我们都在苏联打了半年仗了
We have been fighting here in Russia for six months now,
补给早就一点都不剩了
we have run out of all our supplies.
但是我需要新东西啊 这双旧靴子
But I need new things, my boots,
已经满是破洞了
zey have so many holes in them,
穿着就跟没穿一样
I don't feel like I'm wearing any.
你本来就什么都没穿啊
Well, you are not wearing any.
我说为什么脚这么冷
Oh, well, zat would explain it.
那你就啥都没有吗
Is there nothing that you can give me?
你运气还不错
Well, I think you're in luck.
我今早刚拿到这双靴子
I got these boots in this morning,
质量也不错 苏联货
good quality too, they're Russian.
你怎么知道是苏联货
How do you know zey are Russian?
里面还有个苏联人呢
Er...There was a Russian in them.
这叫我怎么穿啊
I cannot wear those!
德军确实穿过阵亡苏军的靴子
当然能穿了
Of course you can.
只要把它们放进烤炉里十分钟
you just put them in ze oven for ten minutes
腿就自己出来了
and ze legs will pop right out.
我才不要穿死人的靴子
I'm not going to wear a dead man's boots.
他们要解冻才能把腿取出来
你这儿还有别的东西吗 有外套吗
Is there nothing else you have, a jacket?
我都冻得鸡皮疙瘩摞鸡皮疙瘩了
I am so cold I have goose pimples on my goose pimples.
我正好有
Argh, I have just the thing.
我们想办法从柏林弄来的
We managed to get this in from Berlin.
太好了
Oh, perfect.
好多了
Oh, zat is better, oh...
这不是死[男]人身上剥下来的 对吧
And it is not off a dead man, right?
不是 是从死女人身上剥下来的
No, it is from a dead woman.
士兵们穿死去女人的衣服
吃的呢 你有吃的吗
What about food, do you have any food?
只有这种疑似叫肉酱的东西
Ah, well, only tis rather suspiciously named meat paste,
我从德国搞到的
I got it in from Germany.
它怎么样
What's it like?
从戈特利布中尉那里得到的反馈来看
Well, ze impression I got from Lieutenant Gotlieb was,
这东西应该不太好
it's not very good for you.
谁是戈特利布中尉
Who's Lieutenant Gotlieb?
就是这位老兄
Er, zis fellow over here.
戈特利布也是这个反应
Zat is exactly what Gotlieb did,
不过他除了上吐还下泻
except from both ends.
好吧
Sure.
你就只有不能吃的食物
All you have is inedible food,
死男人的靴子和死女人的外套了吗
a dead man's boots, a dead woman's coat?
你就没有什么对我有点用处的东西吗
Is there nothing you have that is any use to me?
作为我们的第一万名顾客
Well, as our 10,000th customer,
您刚刚赢得了
you have just won,
为期两周的
an all-expenses-paid fortnight
免费巴西海滩之旅
on the beaches of Brazil.
真的吗
Oh, really.
假的 滚
No. Raus!
我不能在这里打工吗
Can I not work here with you?
不能 有我和戈特利布就够了
No, I'm afraid it is just me and Gotlieb.
-再见 -你瞧这鬼天气
- Auf wiedersehen. - Look at it.
对于德军来说
For the Germans,
斯大林格勒战役是战略上的严重失误
the battle of Stalingrad was a tactical disaster.
不过注意 二战时苏军的一些战略
Mind you, some of the Russian tactics during World War Two
也不怎么样
didn't go that well either.
不靠谱武器
不靠谱武器
号♥
二战时苏军的反坦克装置
The Second World War's Russian anti-tank device.
贫穷的苏军需要用低廉的方法
The penniless Russians needed a cheap way
摧毁德军的无敌坦克
to destroy the unbeatable German tanks,
所以他们发明了
so they invented...
狗狗炸♥弹♥
Dog bombs.
没错 他们在狗背上绑上炸♥弹♥
Yes, dogs were trained to run underneath tanks with
并训练它们钻到坦克底下
bombs strapped to their backs.
苏军将他们的狗狗武器带上战场
The Russians sent their brilliant new doggy weapon into battle
不过有一个小问题
but there was one small problem.
狗狗们在训练时是跑到苏军坦克底下的
The dogs had been trained to run under Russian tanks.
不对 停 乖狗狗 坐
Nyet! There, doggy, stay...sit.
所以它们都跑到苏军坦克下了
So they ran under the Russian tanks.
坏狗狗
Bad doggy.
得重头再来了
Oh, well, back to drawing board.
华丽的乔治王朝
大家好 我是乔治时代的广♥告♥人
Hi, I'm a shouty Georgian woman,
我将向你们介绍
and I'm here to tell you about
乔治王朝最新的移♥动♥通讯技术
the very latest in Georgian mobile communication technology,
扇子
the fan.
每一个用扇子作出的手势
Each little gesture with the fan
我爱你
都传递不同的信息
send out a totally different message,
并且十分简单
and it's so simple to use,
过来跟我说说话
而且你的父母根本看不懂
and your parents won't have a clue what you're messaging.
发到你手累 不收通讯费
Send thousands of messages a day, and there's no bill to pay,
我们什么时候能见面
我很忙
每个人都应该有一把
everybody should have one.
除了你 因为你是男的
Except you, because you're a bloke.
非常抱歉
Yeah, terribly sorry.
它还能轻松吹走臭味 臭死了
It's also handy for wafting away foul smells, phewee.
非常抱歉
Yeah, terribly sorry.
心动不如行动 现在就购买♥♥乔治小扇吧
So don't delay, buy your Georgian fan today.
警告 过多使用
Warning, too much fan flattering
可能会造成严重的手腕劳损
can seriously damage a lady's wrist.
你还好吗 女儿
Are you quite well, daughter?
挺好的 父亲
Oh, most well, father.
您好 威利斯先生
Good day, Mr Willis.
你好 安德鲁斯先生
Good day, Mr Andrews.
我想和你谈谈
是的
他看着我们呢
今天格外的温暖啊 威利斯先生
Surprisingly warm weather for the time of year, Mr Willis.
是啊 安德鲁斯先生
Er, indeed, Mr Andrews.
我爱你
太好了
Yes!
太好了 这是我最喜欢的作曲家
Yes, this is my favourite composer.
你可以吻我
这是伦敦最新潮的舞蹈 威利斯先生
It's the latest dance from London town, Mr Willis.
好吧 安德鲁斯先生
I see, Mr Andrews.
我什么时候能见你
-稍后 -什么
- Soon. - Sorry?
勺子 我要一把勺子
Spoon. I need a spoon.
这孩子真奇怪
Strange boy.
我保证会嫁给你
先生 我有个很紧急的问题
Sir, there is a most pressing question
想问您的女儿
I would like to ask your daughter.
我爱上别人了
对不起
真是个奇怪的孩子
Strange, strange boy.
我爱你
我们乔治王朝的女士是有些好玩的习俗
We Georgian ladies may have had some funny customs,
不过我保证 乔治王朝的男人也挺傻的
but let me assure you, Georgian gentleman were just as silly.
历史版
时尚变身
时尚迷们大家好
Hiya, fashion fans,
欢迎收看新一♥期♥《历史版时尚变身》
and welcome to another Historical Fashion Fix.
本周的核心是假发 长袜和化妆
This week it's all about wigs, stockings and makeup,
猜对了
you've guessed it,
这周我们将改造一个乔治时代的男人
this week we're going to be making over a Georgian man,
-来见见他 你好 丹尼尔 -什么
- so let's meet him now. Hi, Daniel. - Sorry?
看看我们能不能施展时尚魔法
Let's see if we can't work some Fashion Fix magic,
将你变成真正的乔治贵族
and turn you into an authentic Georgian aristocrat.
好吧
All right.
历史版
时尚变身
我们先来解决皮肤的问题
Let's sort out that skin.
他看起来挺白的
He's looking pretty pale.
我一星期没吃东西了
I haven't eaten in a week.
不过可以再白一些
But he could do with being a lot paler,
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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