糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S02E06

Part 4 Jan. 3, 2021, 2:10 p.m.

还有被杀戮充斥的暴♥政♥*
*And a vicious reign of murdering and slaughter,oh
带着枪剑离开了布里斯托尔老家*
*Left my home in Bristol with a sword and pistol
带着温情与英国本土辞别*
*Bid a fond farewell to Old Blighty Oh
敌人最怕我又黑又粗的胡子*
*What my enemies feared was my thick black beard
而我最喜欢在上面点火*
*Which I always enjoyed setting light to, oh
有一次我看上了俘虏那迷人的指环*
*Once I had a thing for a captive's lovely ring
闪耀得像是夜里的宝石*
*That shone like a jewel in the nightie, oh
他对我说"不" 我只说了声"噢"*
*When the man said no I just said, oh
然后剁了他的手一切搞定了*
*And chopped off his hand and said, righty-oh
那人说"不" 他说了"噢"*
*Man said no, he said oh
剁了他的手一切搞定了*
*Chopped off his hand and said, righty-oh
我爱在海上航行*
*Oh, I loved to sail the ocean
伴随振奋精神的海盗旗*
*With my flag that inspired emotion
伴随喜气洋洋的骷髅架*
*With its smiling pile of skull and bones
快准狠地戳烂别人的心脏*
*Smashing hearts with a violent stabbing motion
而我总爱逃避侦查*
*And I loved to escape detection
从而得到船员的感情*
*And to win my crew's affection
这与他腰带上别的*
*Which was nothing to do with the 12 guns he wore
十二把自保用的手♥枪♥无关*
*On his belt that were for protection
我心眼非常好脾气却挺怪*
*I was awfully nice But I had the odd vice
时不时就闹个小暴♥乱♥*
*Which occasionally caused a commotion
那就是我以枪毙船员为乐*
*The thing that I'd do was shoot members of my crew
如果他们不够忠诚*
*If they didn't show enough devotion
有空他就以枪毙船员为乐*
*The thing he'd do was shoot members of the crew
如果他们不够忠诚*
*If they didn't show enough devotion
有次我很愤怒杀了我的大副*
*Once when very irate I shot my first mate
伊斯莱尔·汉兹只是为了取乐*
*Israel Hands for a bit of pleasure, oh
当我欠债渐多我杀了一半的船员*
*And when my debts grew killed half of my crew
这样就能独享更多的财宝*
*To increase my share of the treasure, oh
原本还挺好却发现人手不够了*
*Was doing well then seemed to run out of men
搜捕我的人从容地登上船*
*My captures boarded at their leisure, oh
打死我又砍了我脑袋*
*Smoked me dead then cut off my head
然后在桅杆上挂了好久*
*And displayed in on my mast for good measure, oh
打死他又砍了他脑袋*
*Smoked him dead chopped off his head
然后在桅杆上挂了好久*
*Displayed it on the mast for good measure. Oh.
1718年黑胡子终于在一次海战中被杀
In 1718 Blackbeard the pirate was finally killed in a battle at sea
他的头被砍下无头尸体被扔进海里
his head was chopped off and his headless body thrown into the sea.
但传说他的无头尸体之后做了什么
But what, according to the legend, did his headless body do next...?
A 爬出来继续战斗
A: Climb out and continue fighting
B 骑着海豚游走了
B: Ride away on a dolphin
C 绕船游了三圈
Or C: Swim three times around the ship.
答案就是 C
The answer is... C!
传说他的无头尸体绕船游了三圈
Legend has it that his headless body swam three times around the ship.
野蛮的石器时代
你是否饱受头痛折磨
Do you suffer from headaches?
你是否饱受头痛折磨
Do you suffer from headaches?
神经性头痛
Tense, nervous headaches?
眼睛后无法忽略的疼痛
Pain behind the eyes that you just can't shift?
那么你需要"凿孔王"
Then you need Trepanadol.
"凿孔王"
"凿孔王"是我们的凿孔新手套装
Trepanadol is our unique trapanning starter pack.
新手套装
它包含一切你需要的东西一片锐石片
It's got everything you need. A sharp stone.
锐石片
锐石片
Sharp stone.
钝石块
-和一块钝石块 -钝石块
- And a blunt stone. - Blunt stone.
注意下面是科学原理
Now, concentrate. Here comes the sciencey bit.
在首次出现头痛的症状后
At the first sign of a headache,
找一个未经培训的同伴
get an unqualified colleague
在你脑袋上凿一个小洞
to knock a small hole into your skull
用锐石片做凿子
using the sharp stone as a chisel
用钝石块做锤子
and the blunt stone as a hammer.
洞穴人真的是这么做的
锤子锤子
Hammer! Hammer!
在脑袋上凿洞后
By knocking a hole in your skull,
你脑袋里的恶魔就会跑出来
you'll let out the devils inside your head
然后头痛就消失了
and it'll be bye-bye, headache.
警告
警告在头上凿洞极有可能致死
Warning! Trepanning is quite likely to result in death.
头不痛啦
Headache gone now!
警告请勿在家模仿
Warning! Do not try trepanning at home.
有证据显示
There is evidence that
很多石器时代的人们在被凿洞后存活下来
lots of Stone Age people survived it.
信不信由你
Yeah! Believe it or not.
但这不代表你应该尝试
But that doesn't mean you should give it a go.
否则你可能需要一个石器时代的葬礼
Otherwise, you might need a Stone Age burial.
石器时代版
家族财富
大家好欢迎回到
Hello, and welcome once again
《石器时代版家族财富》
to Stone Age Family Fortunes!
让我们认识一下两支队伍
Let's meet the teams.
我们来自石器时代英国的的老朋友
Joining us all the way from Stone Age Britain,
厄格家庭
it's the Ug Family.
他们今晚的对手是
And playing against them this evening,
来自石器时代智利的厄几欧家庭
from Stone Age Chile, it's the Ugio Family.
欢迎你们你好
You're very welcome. Hello, there.
他们还好吧
Are they, are they OK?
爷爷和奶奶
Granny and Gramps?
他们玩得很开心
They're having a great time, you know.
我们来自世界闻名的琪琪罗部落
We are from the world-famous Chinchiro Tribe.
我们把心爱的人做成木乃伊
We like to mummify our loved ones
在特别的场合带着他们
and bring them out on special occasions.
真的
这就是我们庆祝的方式
That's how we roll, homes!
祝你们今晚好运
Well, very best of luck tonight.
不出事了
Oh, no! That's happened.
石器时代版
家族财富
两位队长请到梦想之柱前面来
Captains, will you please join me at the Plinth of Dreams.
我们采访了100位石器时代的人
We asked 100 Stone Age people to name
他们在埋葬亲人时会放什么陪葬品
something you might bury with a member of the family.
厄几欧
Ugio.
-我能回去商量一下吗 -当然
- Can I confer? - Of course.
你怎么想
What do you think?
别这么看着我
Don't look at me like that
你吓着我了
you're freaking me out.
我们不会埋他们
We would not bury them
因为这太失礼了
because we find that disrespectful.
我们会砍下他们的手臂头和腿
So we would cut off their arms, their head, their legs,
挖出他们的内脏用土填满尸体
rip out their insides, stuff them with mud,
重新组装好再在他们身上画画
put them back together and paint them.
真的
这样他们就知道我们多爱他们了
That way, they will know how much we love them.
这不是我卡上的答案
That's not the answer I have on the card here.
记住厄几欧
Bearing in mind, Ugio,
我们采访的是100名石器时代的欧洲人
we did ask 100 European Stone Age people.
厄格你会用什么给你的亲人陪葬呢
So, Ug, something you might bury with a member of the family.
-花 -你说花调查显示
- Flowers. - You said flowers. Our survey said...
花是正确答案
flowers is the right answer!
请回到你们的家庭
Please rejoin your families.
-武器 -武器
- Weapon? - Weapons.
正确
Correct!
-食物 -正确
- Food. - That's right.
狗
Dog.
宠物狗也算宠物
Pets. I'll accept dog.
都是真实的石器时代习俗
能使他们下辈子更舒适的东西
Anything that might make them more comfortable in the Afterlife.
我们会绑起他们的四肢
We'd tie their limbs together
防止他们诈尸
so they can't jump out.
完全正确
Is the correct answer!
绑起他们这一点也不尊敬他们
Tying them up? Where's your respect, homes?
如果你真的爱他们
If you really love them,
你得砍下他们的四肢然后剥他们的皮
you would cut off their arms and legs and you will skin them.
你是说我不爱我家人吗
Are you saying I don't love my family?
是又怎样
What if I am?
-你又不了解我的家人 -想单挑吗
- You don't know my family. - You wanna dance?