糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S02E10
Part 4
Jan. 3, 2021, 2:11 p.m.
成为你的合法丈夫吗
to be your lawfully wedded husband?
我愿意
I do.
查理一世国王
And does King Charles I
愿意娶这个女人作为合法妻子吗
take this woman to be his lawfully wedded wife?
是的 他显然愿意
Yeah, apparently he does.
那么我宣布你成为她丈夫的朋友
Then I now pronounce you friend of the husband
而你成为另一个人的妻子
and somebody else's wife.
你可以亲吻那家伙的新娘了
You may kiss the other fellow's bride.
放肆 我可是查理一世国王的王后
How dare you! I am the wife of King Charles I...
某种意义上的
I think... sort of.
抱歉 我总是在婚礼现场哭出来
I'm so sorry, I always cry at weddings.
确实
It's true,
查理一世不想在异国举♥行♥天主教婚礼
Charles I didn't want a Catholic wedding in a foreign country.
于是就找谢弗勒斯公爵代表他出席婚礼
So he got the Duck de Chevreuse to stand in for him.
事实上 拜查理一世所赐
In fact, thanks to King Charles
斯图亚特时期的教堂里发生了很多荒唐事
there were lots of crazy goings-on in church in the Stuart era.
布道到此结束
Here endeth the lesson.
苏格兰 1637年
阿门
Amen.
在开始祷告以前
Now, before we begin prayers today,
我要通知你们步骤发生了一点小变化
I have to inform you there's to be a wee change to the proceedings.
小变化 听上去不妙
"A wee change." I don't like the sound of that...
国王查理一世颁布了法令
Please, it's a decree from our King, Charles I,
要求我们使用英国国教的祈祷书
which demands we now use these new Church of England prayer books.
大家翻到109页
So if we could just turn to page 109...
什么 我们是苏格兰人
What? We're Scottish.
我们不需要英格兰来的祈祷书
We don't need some prayer book from England.
我们自己的书挺好的
We're happy with our own prayer books,
不用了谢谢
thank you very much.
可是国王想让英国所有教堂礼拜时
I know, but the King wants all church services in Britain
用一样的书 所以
to be the same, so...
我们是清教♥徒♥
We're Puritans,
我们希望祷告就像这祈祷书一样平实简洁
we like our services to be plain and simple like our prayer books.
不像英格兰的那么精致花哨
Not all elaborate and fancy like the English ones.
就是 谁在乎国王怎么说
Aye, who cares what the King says?
我必须用这本书 这是法令
I have to read from it, it's the law.
不遵守我就会有麻烦的
I'll get into trouble if I don't.
你错了
You're no' right, you.
我生气了
I'm no' happy.
好吧 我早料到这行不通
Please... Right, I knew there'd be trouble.
还好我早有准备
Good job I came prepared.
好了
Right...
这确实发生过
那咱们把话说清楚了
Let's just be absolutely clear, shall we?
愿意读英国国教祈祷书的举手
Hands up who's happy to read from the new Church of England prayer book?
我想也是
I thought so.
我们 在天上的父
Our father... which art in heaven...
愿人都尊你的名为圣
..hallowed be thy name.
华丽的乔治王朝
糟糕历史电视台
体育大看台
欢迎回到《体育大看台》
Welcome back to HHTV Sport,
为您带来独家历史体育赛事直播
bringing you exclusive live sporting events from the past.
今天我们将播出乔治王朝的体育比赛
Today, we're at the Georgian Games.
请跟随约翰和史蒂夫一起到拳击赛现场
We can go ringside with John and Steve for our big fight live.
看看这场精彩的比赛
And what a spectacle we're in for.
下午好
Good afternoon,
今天现场的气氛真是非常热烈
there's a real sense of excitement for today's big fight.
是啊 约翰 选手们看上去实力相当
There certainly is, John. These players look very evenly matched.
今天势必会是一场恶战
We could be in for a real corker.
时间到了
Seconds out...
第一回合
Round one.
他们直接进入了第一轮的掐人攻击
And they're straight in to the first pinch.
对上臂的这一掐真是猛烈
Oh, it's a good strong pinch to the upper arm there.
他没有显示出丝毫的疼痛
And he's showing no signs of pain whatsoever.
这就是赢得乔治王朝掐人赛的关键
That's what you've got to do to win a Georgian pinching match.
真实乔治王朝运动
你能不能为不熟悉比赛的观众
For those unfamiliar with the game,
讲解一下规则 史蒂夫
could you remind us of the rules, Steve?
当然可以 约翰
I certainly can, John.
两名参赛者面对面站立
The two competitors stand toe-to-toe
然后只要轮流掐对方
and simply take it in turns to pinch each other.
他们不能叫出声
They can't cry out.
一旦叫出声 比赛宣告结束
If they do, it's game over.
所以如果我这么做
So if I was to do this...
我就赢得了比赛
I'd have won the game.
如果我也这么做
Yeah, and if I were to do this...
我也就赢得了比赛
I would have won the game.
不是个这吧
Ow, seriously!
比赛结束了
Oh, it's all over,
让我们回放一下最后一击的慢镜头
let's look at that final pinch once again, in slow motion.
在肋骨上冷静的一击
Yes, it's a clinical pinch to the ribs.
-看上去好疼 -是啊
- That looks like it hurt. - Absolutely.
让我们看看接下来还有什么乔治王朝比赛
So, let's see what's coming up in these Georgian Games.
[鹅倒挂 鹅头涂润滑油 骑马拧下鹅头者获胜]
下午四点 飞马抓滑鹅决赛
4pm, we have the greased-goose grabbing final.
下午五点 独家直播女人抢钱大赛
And at 5pm, live and exclusive, we have women fighting for money.
有没有足球呢 约翰
And what about the football, John?
足球是垃圾
No, football's rubbish.
我挺喜欢的
Well, I like it.
那只是一时的流行 史蒂夫 没啥前途
It's a fad, Steve, it's a fad.
我相信等足球过时多年后
I'm sure long after people have gone off football,
一定还会有掐人比赛和飞马抓滑鹅的
they'll still be into pinching matches and greased-goose grabbing.
转回演播间
Back to the studio.
确实
That's right,
乔治王朝时期人们喜欢看别人
Georgians used to enjoy watching people
去抓一只滑溜溜的死鹅
trying to grab a dead, greased goose.
把鹅头拔下来的人就是冠军
The winner was the one who pulled its head off. Eugh!
如果这就让你觉得惊讶了
And if you think that's shocking,
那你一定没听说过乔治王朝军队的事
then you obviously haven't heard about our Georgian army.
中士您好 我是新兵
Hello, sergeant, I'm your new recruit.
你是来为国家效力的吧
Come to serve your country,have you?
非常值得尊敬 先生
That's very noble of you, sir.
你签署过从军协议吗 先生
Have you signed your army contract, sir?
当然了 给
Certainly have, there it is.
你这讨厌的小矮个
Right, you horrible little man,
你为什么不♥穿♥制♥服♥
why aren't you in uniform?
你让部队蒙羞
You're a disgrace to the army.
快穿上这件外套
Here, put this jacket on.
-这太显眼了吧 -当然得这样
- It's not very camouflaged, is it? - Of course it isn't.
我们得让你的战友能清楚地看到你
We want your mates to be able to see you easily
以防不小心在硝烟弥漫的战场上射伤你
and not shoot you when you're on a smoky battlefield.
那敌人不是也能看清楚我们了
Won't the enemy be able to easily see me on the battlefield?
当然看得清
Of course they will,
他们会在50码[46米]外向你射击
they'll be standing 50 yards away in a straight line shooting at you.
乔治王朝时期军队就是这么打仗的
That's how Georgian armies fight.
一二一 一二一
Left-right, left-right...
真的
膝盖抬起来 你这讨厌的小矮个
Get your knees up, you horrible little man.
军队的成功靠纪律
The army thrives on discipline.
你一天得练三小时高抬腿 每天练
You'll be practising drill three hours a day, every day,
不许有怨言
and you will like it.
新兵 停
Recruit...halt!
饿了吗 小子
You hungry, son?
-是时候发放补给了 -太好了
- Good, it's time for your rations. - Oh, good.
这上面都是蛆
Eugh, it's covered in maggots.
你会习惯的
Oh, you'll get used to that.
我管这个叫额外配餐肉
I call that extra-meat rations.
乔治王朝的真实军队伙食
这可是货真价实的乔治王朝的军队伙食
That's good old, honest Georgian army food, that is.
好了 现在练习步♥枪♥射击
Right, time for rifle practice.
我现在把武器交给你
I will now present you with your weapon.
这叫"燧石枪"
It's called a Brown Bess.
-是不是很棒 -真酷 我能试试吗
- Lovely, isn't she? - Cool, may I?
举到肩膀的高度 然后扣动扳机
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
剧集 | 糟糕历史（2009） | 导航列表