糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S02E05
Part 3
Jan. 3, 2021, 2:10 p.m.
是死于蚊子叮咬 受到感染
died from an infected mosquito bite.
开罗的灯都灭了
The lights in Cairo went out
是因为电路接触不太好
because the electrics were dodgy
而他的狗叫
and his dog howled, well,
是因为狗本来就要叫 对吧
cos that's just what dogs do, innit?
跟木乃伊半毛钱关系都没有
It was nothing to do with the mummy.
行了 停下
Oh, just stop it.
所谓诅咒都是报纸编造出来的
The curse was just made up by the newspapers.
我♥干♥吗来这里
Why am I here?
这又不是真的鬼故事 干嘛喊我来
I mean, you know, if it's not a real ghost story, why get me?
去找约翰·巴洛曼或是Ant & Dec
Get John Barrowman or Ant and Dec.
[分别为演员和双人喜剧组合]
我走了 这件夹克归我了
I'm off. And I'm keeping the jacket.
华丽的乔治王朝
乔治三世一直到81岁才去世
King George III didn't die until he was 81.
所以乔治四世
So George IV had to wait
望穿秋水才盼来登基之日
an awfully long time to become King.
乔治 你怎么做到的
Oh, George. How do you do it?
你怎么能如此光彩照人
How do you look so fabulous?
乔治 你简直太棒了
George, you are worth it!
殿下 我有个坏消息
Your Highness? I have some dreadful news.
不是又开始流行扑粉假发了吧
Powdered wigs aren't coming back, are they?
恐怕比这严重多了
It's far graver news that that, I'm afraid.
殿下 我必须告诉您 您父亲病逝了
Sir, I must tell you, your father is dead.
太棒了 登基啦
Y-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-es! Get in!
登基啦
Get in!
殿下 我想您可能听错了
Sir, I think you may have misheard me.
老爹死翘翘 老爹死翘翘
Dad's dead, Dad's dead.
我的天哪 我是国王
Oh, gosh, I'm King!
您还没登基
Ah. You, you didn't.
不过殿下 您不该 伤心吗
But, Sir, shouldn't you be... upset?
伤心 我都快60岁了
Upset? I'm nearly 60 years old.
虽然看起来很年轻
I know I don't look it.
-你能这么说很好 -我没打算说
- It's good of you to say it. - I wasn't going to,
我做了将近60年默默无闻的王子殿下
but - - I've been a bog-standard prince for nearly 60 years!
我等他翘辫子等了快60年
Nearly 60 years I've been waiting for my father to kick the bucket!
真的
没错 但是殿下 我想奉劝您
Yes, but, Sir, I have to advise you
您的臣民认为您会很悲伤
that your subjects will expect you to be grief-stricken
泪流满面
in floods of tears.
泪流满面 这明明比圣诞节还棒啊
Tears? This is better than Christmas!
-乔治 你听说了吗 -那当然
- George! Have you heard the news? - You bet I have
恭恭恭祝陛下
Congratu-very-lations, Your Majesty.
陛下
My Majesty.
-陛下 -陛下
- Your Majesty! - My Majesty.
-陛下 -行了
- Your Majesty! - Alright.
殿下 您确定连一滴眼泪都挤不出吗
Sir, are you sure you can't squeeze out just a small tear?
当然不行 蠢货 我只为重要的事哭泣
Certainly not, Thick Wig! I only cry about things that matter.
我现在的样子接受加冕还不错吧
So, how do I look for my coronation?
-惊为天人 -瞧瞧我的小腿
- Spectacular! - Look at my calves!
肌肉发达 男子汉气概十足
Very muscular. Very manly!
跟你说个秘密 其实是衬垫
I'll tell you a secret. It's padding.
衬垫 怪不得您的臀部是那个样子
Padding? Ah! Well, that explains the seat of your trouser.
什么
What?
好吧 只有你知我知
Well, between yousies and mesies,
您臀部那里的衬垫好像有点厚
there might be a tad too much pad on the old derriere.
衬垫
Padding?
那里压根没有衬垫
There's no padding there!
他觉得我胖 他觉得我胖
He thinks I'm fat! He thinks I'm fat!
有个办法能帮您 不如您穿上束腹
You know what might help? What about if you wore a corset?
我现在就穿着呢
I am wearing a corset!
乔治四世确实穿过束腹
好吧 至少他现在哭了
Well, at least he's crying now.
可怜的王子殿下
Oh! Oh, the poor Prince!
我不是王子 我现在是国王了 出去
I'm not a prince, I'm a king now! Now, get out!
-他是国王了 -出去
- He's a king! - Out!
我很胖
Oh! I'm fat!
我要吃块巧克力
I need a chocolate.
知道么 由于乔治四世太胖了
Did you know, George IV was so overweight,
他的昵称是"伟尔士[鲸鱼]王子"
his nickname was the Prince of Whales.
这么说可有点不公平
That's a bit unfair, isn't it, eh?
鲸鱼太委屈了
On whales!
他确实等了快60年才登上王位
And he really did have to wait nearly 60 years to become King.
乔治四世摄政王*
*I'm George IV, the Regent King
代理执政气不壮*
*Which means I was just standing in
代父监国只因他*
*Acting King because my dad
疯头疯脑老呆瓜*
*George III had gone barking mad
香蕉蕉
Banana!
宫殿设计我专长*
*Great palaces, I did design
白金汉宫添荣光*
*Buckingham was one of mine
推崇艺术与时尚*
*Art and fashion, I so rated
才智呢
And wise?
那个说来就话长
*That's more complicated
女演员和女公爵*
*Actresses and duchesses
一生挚爱求若渴*
*The great loves of my life
爱人要比派还多*
*I loved more girls than I ate pies
就是难忍♥我老婆*
*And I couldn't stand my wife
他受不了他老婆*
*He couldn't stand his wife
走开
Go away!
被迫迎娶卡洛琳*
*I only married Queen Caroline
债台高筑有内情*
*When my debts began to climb
答应婚事有条件*
*Cos if I agreed to tie the knot
他的债务我还清*
*I said I'd pay off the lot
婚礼引发冲突多*
*But the wedding caused all sorts of strife
有妇之夫就是我*
*Cos I already had a wife
-离过婚的天主教♥徒♥ -*唯闻父叹息*
- A divorced Catholic? - *Dad did sigh
又老又疯偏不死*
*But the mad old goat just wouldn't die
还活着呢 糟糕 话说太早*
*Still here. Oop! Spoke too soon.
我终于可以单飞了
At last, I can go solo!
终登王位初掌权*
*As true King, my reign began
但已老迈误华年*
*Though I was now older than your nan
一国之主已登基*
*And as the ruler of our nation
加冕典礼禁吾妻*
*I banned my wife from my coronation
幡然醒悟我恨她*
*And knowing now that I did hate her
三周之后死掉啦*
*She promptly died just three weeks later
可惜吃派吃太多*
*But all those pies that I'd got through
只有十年享快活*
*Meant 10 years later, I died, too
你好 我们见过吗 我是只袋鼠
Hello. Have we met? I'm a kangaroo.
女演员和女公爵*
*Actresses, duchesses
一生挚爱求若渴*
*the great loves of my life
爱人要比派还多*
*I loved more girls than I ate pies
就是难忍♥我老婆*
*But I couldn't stand my wife
掌控王位仅十年*
*I had just 10 years on the throne
你可曾记得*
*Do you remember that?
不 你记得的只是*
*No, all that you remember is
我是个胖子*
*I was really fat.
卑微的中世纪
糟糕历史电视台
新闻联播
大家好 欢迎收看《那时新闻》
Hello, and welcome to the News At When.
那时 就是中世纪
When? The Middle Ages.
欧洲的基♥督♥教♥徒♥
A time when the Christian people of Europe
决定与中东的伊♥斯♥兰♥教♥徒♥开战
decided to go to war with the Islamic people in the Middle East
仅仅因为信仰不同
just because they didn't believe in the same things.
我知道这很难想象
Hard to imagine, I know.
详细内容 请看本台记者鲍勃·黑尔
So, here with more details is Bob Hale,
带来的十字军东征详细报道
with the Crusades Report.
谢谢 萨姆 我是鲍勃·黑尔
Thank you, Sam. I'm Bob Hale
我正参加一场圣♥战♥ 那就是
and I'm on a bit of a crusade
给你们介绍十字军东征
to tell you all about The Crusades,
即1000多年前发生的一系列
a series of extremely violent religious wars
极其惨烈的宗教战争
that started nearly 1,000 years ago.
当时是1095年
Yes, the year is 1095,
那块地方就是圣地 巴勒斯坦
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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