糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S02E11
Part 3
Jan. 3, 2021, 2:11 p.m.
而且是用一种叫作浮石的火山岩
which is a sort of volcanic rock.
可怕古埃及
盛 宴
美 食
秀
大家好 欢迎来到《盛宴美食秀》
Hello, welcome to Ready Steady Feast.
今天的首位嘉宾来自古埃及
My first guest today has travelled all the way from ancient Egypt.
掌声欢迎基奥普斯
Please welcome Cheops.
-你好啊 -你好 基奥普斯
- Hello there. - Hi, Cheops.
你是来自埃及的农夫
Now, you're an Egyptian peasant,
那么你为我们带来了
so what horrible peasanty food
什么可怕的农家食物呢
have you brought with you today?
我带了一些面包
I've brought some bread.
面包 这挺正常的
Bread. That's pretty normal.
跟石头一样硬 能把人的牙给硌掉
It's rock hard. Could lose a tooth on that.
是的 我知道
Yes, I know.
是因为埃及的阳光太烈
It's the Egyptian sun, you see.
能把一切都晒干
It dries everything out.
把这鱼也晒得特别费嘴劲
Makes the fish quite chewy as well.
我不会碰那东西的
I am not touching that.
也行 要来一些美味松软的枣子吗
Fair enough. How about some nice, soft dates?
当然 这些才像食物呢
Oh, yes. Now these are more like it.
-它们都是被亲手摘下的 -真美味
- They're hand picked... - Mm, lovely.
狒狒们亲手摘的
..By baboons.
是的 宠物狒狒
Yes, pet baboons,
接受过专门的爬树和摘果子的训练
specially trained to climb up trees and pick the fruits.
真事
-但是没有接受过洗手的训练 -没有
- But not specially trained to ever wash their hands. - Well, no.
看看下一位嘉宾会不会正常一些
Let's see if I have more luck with my next guest.
他是古埃及金字塔的建筑工人之一
He is an ancient Egyptian pyramid builder.
你知道我们都是用
Oh, you know how builders are paid
小萝卜和大蒜给金字塔建筑工付工资的吗
in radishes and garlic, don't you?
闭嘴吧 狒狒男
Shut it, baboon boy.
真事
我只想说 他们老是吃小萝卜和大蒜
They eat a lot of radishes and garlic, is all I'm saying.
让我们欢迎梅内斯
Please welcome Menez.
你好啊
Hello there.
我警告过她了
I did try to warn her.
吃点枣子
Date?
-太谢谢了 -它们非常美味
- Oh, thank you very much. - They're nice.
还沾着一点狒狒粪呢
Little bit of baboon dropping on there.
是啊 我很喜欢这种枣子
- Mmm. - Yeah, I like the dates.
-上菜了 -没错 上菜了
- Grub's up. - Yeah, grub's up.
需要不少小萝卜和大蒜
And it took a lot of radishes and garlic
才能付清金字塔建筑工人的所有工资呢
to pay all the builders we needed to make a pyramid, I can tell you.
-想建一座自己的金字塔吗 -太想了
- 'Ever wanted to build your own pyramid?' - You bet I do.
有了《金字塔周刊》 你的梦想将成真了
'Well, now you can, with Pyramid Weekly.
每一♥期♥《金字塔周刊》都有附赠礼品
'Every issue of Pyramid Weekly brings you a free gift.
一块重达两吨♥半的大石头
'A large stone weighing two-and-a-half tonnes.'
大石头 真棒
Wow, a big stone. Great!
需要多少块石头才能建金字塔
How many do I need to build a pyramid?
-只要两百三十万块 -真酷
- 'Just 2.3 million.' - Cool.
真事
是的 每周坚持购买♥♥《金字塔周刊》
'Yes, buy Pyramid Weekly every week
只需要四十四万两千年
and in just 442,000 years
你就有足够的石头来建造一座金字塔了
'you will have enough stones to build your own pyramid.'
哈里 这周的《金字塔周刊》送什么了
Hey, Harry, what did you get in Pyramid Weekly this week?
又一块大石头 我已经有34块了
Another big stone. That's 34 so far.
很快我就能集齐两百三十万块了
I'll have 2.3 million in no time.
接下来只要把它盖起来就好了
Then all you'll have to do is build it.
读读七万名建筑工人
'Read how it took 70,000 labourers
是如何用五年建好金字塔的吧
five years to build each pyramid.'
真事
你觉得爸爸会帮我吗
Do you think Dad'll help me?
当然会了
Of course he will.
今天订阅 还将免费获赠一本
'Order today and get a second free issue completely free.
《金字塔周刊》
'Pyramid Weekly.
能搬动的话 就马上购买♥♥吧
Pick one up today, if you can.
不包括七万名劳工
'70,000 labourers not included.'
卓越美♥利♥坚♥
不靠谱武器
不靠谱武器
号♥
19世纪美国内战中使用的全铁皮战舰
The 19th century iron-clad ship used in the American Civil War.
这种战舰完全被铁皮包裹着
This ship was covered entirely in metal,
也就是说敌人的炮火会完全被弹开
meaning enemy fire bounced right off it.
而且只要撞上敌方的战舰
Plus it could destroy wooden ships
对方就沉定了
by ramming them.
全铁皮战舰是永不会被摧毁的
The iron-clad ship was indestructible,
只有一个小小的问题
but there was one small problem.
对方也有这样一艘战舰
The other side had one, too,
所以战争持续了好几个小时
so the battle went on for hours...
又好几个小时
..And hours.
咱们就算打个平手吧
How about we just call it a draw?
正是如此
That's right.
19世纪60年代
In the 1860s,
美♥利♥坚♥合众国还不那么团结
the United states of America wasn't quite so united.
内战爆发
Civil war broke out,
北方各州与南方各州之间展开激战
with the Northern States doing battle against the Southern States.
南方各州联盟有一个将军
One of the Southern Confederate generals
非常的与众不同
was a really unusual character,
这还是往轻了说
to say the least.
我不敢相信石墙杰克逊将军本人
I cannot believe that General Stonewall Jackson himself
会来给我们下达战斗指令
is going to be giving us our battle orders.
是的 伟大而无畏的将军
Yes, brilliant and fearless.
不论敌方的炮火多么猛烈
No matter how heavy the enemy fire,
他自巍然不动 如同坚固的石墙
he just stands there, unmoving like a stone wall.
他是我们邦联方最杰出的领袖之一
He's one of our finest Confederate leaders.
我希望这是一次奇袭
I hope it's going to be a surprise attack,
-他声名远播就是因为... -立正
- he is famous for his... - Ten-shun!
杰克逊将军
General Jackson,
能在您麾下作战 我感到十分荣幸
may I say what an honour it is to serve under you?
大声点 孩子 这只耳朵不大好使
You have to speak up, son. Little deaf in that ear.
我是说能在您麾下作战很荣幸
Oh, just saying it's a great honour to serve under you.
这只耳朵也不大好使
No, I'm a bit deaf in that one, too.
一定是加农炮的声音造成的
Must be a cannon fire.
加农炮 在哪 在哪
Cannon fire? Where? Where?
-你有战地的地图吗 -有 将军
- You have a map of the battlefield? - I do, sir, yes.
这里是敌方现在的据点 而这里
This indicates the current location of the enemy and...
-将军 -我觉得他睡着了
- Sir? - I believe he has fallen asleep.
杰克逊总是打瞌睡
早上好
Good morning.
很好 我们应该从这条路突袭敌人
Right, we shall attack the enemy this way
-空降 用热气球吗 -不 孩子
- From the air, with balloons? - No, son,
我只是保持双手的平衡 促进血液循环
I'm just balancing out my arms, keeping the circulation going.
我的右臂比左臂稍长
My right arm is longer than the left one.
他真的这么认为
地图上是敌人的位置
Anyway, sir, this map shows the current position of the enemy.
-军队从... -又来了
- Forces are... - Not again.
真不敢相信这就是石墙杰克逊
I cannot believe this is Stonewall Jackson.
小声点 他会听见的
Shhh. He'll hear you.
怎么可能 这男人根本不是神话
No, he won't. This man is not a legend.
不过是个手舞足蹈 随时睡着的傻子
This man is some crazy, arm-waving idiot who falls asleep all the time.
敌人火力朝西
So the enemy guns face to the west.
我们就从右侧包抄 东面发起攻击
We'll outflank them to the right and attack them from the east.
在此之前潜行靠近
Our troops will then approach them silently
用长草作为掩护
using the long grass as cover,
不浪费一粒子弹
we will surprise the enemy
-给他们致命一击 -太棒了
- and capture them before a shot is fired. - Brilliant.
他大概偶尔也能光辉一下
Yes, I suppose he does have his moments.
长官 他口水流到我外套上了
Sir, he is dribbling on my tunic.
绝妙古希腊
古希腊由不同的城邦组成
Ancient Greece was divided into a number of different states.
斯巴达
科林斯
雅典
底比斯
其中有我的故乡 勇士之都斯巴达
There was my home, the warrior state, Sparta.
还有其他一些垃圾城邦 冲啊 斯巴达
And, well, lots of other rubbish ones. Go, Sparta!
斯巴达某学校
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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