掩耳盗邻（2025）

Your Friends and Neighbors S01E01

Part 7 May 27, 2025, 10:42 p.m.

I love that you had
such a friendly divorce.
黛安
Diane.
我就是觉得...
No, I'm just saying, you know.
记得迈克和盖尔离婚时简直世界末日
Remember when Mike and Gayle got divorced?
It was like Armageddon here.
记得吗？
Do you remember that?
他们现在同处一室都受不了
They can't even be
in the same room together.
同城都不行
They can't be in the same city.
对吧？
Right?
萨姆你觉得和保罗能保持友好吗？
Sam, you think you and Paul
are gonna be able to keep things friendly?
门都没有
Not a chance in hell,
不过谢谢你当众问我
but thanks for asking, you know,
in front of everyone like that.
我就是...佩服你们处理得这么体面
I just… I admire how you guys
handled everything with class.
宝贝等我们离婚时也得这么体面
You know, babe, when we get divorced,
I think we should do it like that.
够了你喝多了
That's it. I'm cutting you off.
我只是...
I'm just…
我觉得很棒...
I think it's great…
大家都这么开明...
how we're all so enlightened…
看吧？
...对吧？
See?
…you know?
梅尔...对梅尔和尼克出轨导致我离婚
I mean, Mel… Yeah, Mel and Nick
had an affair and ended our marriage,
孩子们心理阴影有多大还有待观察
and I guess time will tell how fucked up
our kids are gonna be,
但各位对此事的态度真是"棒极了"
but, you know, you all are being
so awesome about the whole thing.
早知如此...
I mean, if I'd have known…
我去放个水
I'm gonna go take a piss.
哎呀
Oops.
死因还不清楚凶器可能是...
We don't know how she was killed.
I think the weapon…
烛台重击致死
She was struck with a candlestick.
烛台？确定？
A candlestick? Are you sure?
纯银重型烛台
A heavy silver one.
怎么确定的？
显微镜
How can you know?
Microscope.
给接着
Here. Just…
谁想和我换车开几天？
One of you guys wanna trade cars
for a little while?
太想了
Fuck yeah.
操！
天啊
Fuck!
Jesus.
爸爸！
搞什么... 老天！
Daddy!
What the-- For God's sake!
简直离谱
Fucking unbelievable.
库珀先生
滚开杰克
Mr. Cooper.
Go away, Jake.
对不起先生不知道您会来
Sorry, sir. We didn't know
you were gonna be here,
对天发... 靠
swear to G-- Fuck.
爸！你干了什么？我的天
Daddy! What did you do? Oh, my God.
说过别叫我先生
你没事吧？
I told you to stop calling me sir.
Are you okay?
你♥他♥妈♥脑子进水了？
What the fuck is wrong with you?
天老爸
接个电♥话♥ 喂
Oh, my God. Dad.
I gotta take this. Hey.
不布鲁斯抱歉什么？
一拳打在我...
No, Bruce, I'm sorry. What?
Punched me in the…
我能做什么？需要什么？
天啊对
What can I do? What do you need?
Oh, God. Yeah.
十分钟就能到
你疯了吗？
I mean, I can be there in ten minutes.
Are you insane?
抱歉先挂了回头聊
Yeah, sorry about this. Bye.
冰敷一下就好了
Just… Put some ice on it or something.
It'll be fine.
看似真实
Looks like the real thing
尝若真实
You taste like the real thing
我虚假塑料的爱
My fake plastic love
嘿布鲁斯
Hey, Bruce.
谢谢你能来库珀
应该的
Thanks for coming, Coop.
You know it.
却总有种感觉
But I can't help the feeling
我能冲破天花板
I could blow through the ceiling
若能转身逃离
If I could just turn and run
嘿安迪
Hey, Andy.
布鲁斯叫我来的
Bruce called me.
猜到了
Yeah, I figured he would.
正好需要搭车回家
I could use the ride home anyway.
怎么来的？
How did you get here?
走来的
I walked.
又没吃药？
You off your meds again?
想找点真实感受懂吗
Just wanted to feel something, you know?
感觉如何？
How you feel?
糟透了
Shitty, actually.
今天怎么样？
How was your day?
老样子
The same.
你气色很差这话从我嘴里说出来可不容易
You don't look so great,
and that's coming from me.
走吧送你回家
Come on. Let's get you home.
他还爱我知道吗
He still loves me, you know.
亲爱的他有妻有子
Honey, he's got a wife and two kids.
呵谁还没点故事呢。
Well, everybody's got something.
你在放什么歌♥？碎南瓜乐队？
What're you playing there? The Smashing Pumpkins?
白♥痴♥。
Radiohead, dipshit.
对对对当然得了吧。
Right, right. Of course. Come on.
嘿。
Hey.
你会没事的。
You'll be all right.
给我这个上车。
Give me this. Get in.
新车？
借来的。
New car? - It's a loaner.
少跟我扯淡。
Don't give me any shit.
我摊上事了艾莉。
I'm in trouble, Ali.
多严重？
How bad?
可能得让你退掉公♥寓♥搬回爸妈家。
I might need you to give up the apartment and move back in with Mom and Dad.
那他们可倒大霉了。
Well, sucks for them.
是啊你要是不吃药会更倒霉。
Yeah. It will if you don't take your meds.
我可不敢保证。
I make no promises.
这车闻着像大使♥馆♥的车
老天我知道
This car smells like ass. - God, I know.
跟有死老鼠似的。
It's like something died in it.
丽芙丽芙
Liv. Liv.
就...
让我说两句行吗
Just… Please let me talk to you for a second.
听着...我对你遭遇的事很抱歉
Look… Look, I'm really sorry about what happened to you.
你被开除真是太冤了
It sucks that they fired you.
你真这么想？
当然
Do you really feel that way? - Of course I do.
那你能撤回投诉吗？
Well then, can you please withdraw your complaint?
你可以翻供并免除贝利的法律责任
I mean, you can recant and indemnify Bailey against a lawsuit.
我就能复职了
什么？
I can get my job back. - What?
要是我有冒犯的地方我道歉
Look, I'm sorry if I mishandled things with you in any way.
我以为我们两情相悦
I just thought we were both having a good time.
等等打住我...
Wait. Stop. Just stop. I…
根本不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
我从来没投诉过
I never filed a complaint.
库普他在打电♥话♥
Coop. He's on a call.
没事的玛丽
It's okay, Mary.
根本没人投诉
库普你不能进来
There was never any complaint. - Coop. You can't be here.
丽芙·克罗斯从没投诉过
Liv Cross never filed a complaint.
这是人事问题我只按通知办事
It's an HR issue. I only know what I'm told.
放屁杰克是你搞的鬼
Bullshit, Jack. You did this.
你违反公♥司♥政策我别无选择
You broke company policy. My hands were tied.
你看到机会抢走我的客户就背后捅刀
You saw an opportunity to take my book and you decided to fuck me.