掩耳盗邻（2025）

Your Friends and Neighbors S01E06

Part 5 May 27, 2025, 10:42 p.m.

我们刚引进了一些很棒的新产品
Well, we just got some great new product lines in.
你肯定会喜欢这款视黄醇眼膜
You'll love these retinol eye patches.
对细纹和浮肿都很有效
Great for fine lines, that puffiness.
我不需要,谢谢
Uh, I'm... I'm good, thanks.
好吧
Okay.
我真的很喜欢你的雀斑,抱歉,它们太可爱了
I'm obsessed with your freckles. Sorry. They're so cute.
如果非常仔细看,就能看得出來
You can tell if you look really, really close,
就会发现有一丁点的老年斑
there's just a little bit of an age spot.
还有“科技颈”,但别担心,我也有
And the tech neck, don't worry about it, I get it too.
不好意思,怎么称呼你?
I-I'm sorry. What was your name?
我叫柯丽
Oh, I'm Keely.
柯丽,我只是来买♥♥这几天要用的护肤品
Keely, I'm just picking up a few days' worth of things,
所以我真不需要
so, you know, I'm good.
你是从外地来的吗? 不是,我住这里
Oh. Are you visiting from out of town? No, I live here.
那为何只是买♥♥这几天用的?
Then why only a few days?
好吧,柯丽,既然你问我
Um, well, Keely, since you asked,
我老公刚刚在我们家的门厅被谋杀了
um, my husband was just murdered in the foyer of our house,
那房♥子现在成了犯罪现场
which is now a crime scene,
所以我才住在酒店里
which is why I'm staying at a hotel,
所以我才需要新的护肤品
which is why I need new products,
所以正如你敏锐地观察到的
which is why, as you so acutely observed,
我可能确实急需敷视黄醇眼膜
I might be in dire need of retinol eye patches.
我们正经历一场非常糟糕的离婚
We were in the middle of a very nasty divorce,
所以我在某种程度上...
so there's a part of me...
说实话,是很大程度上因为他的死而感到松了一口气
...a disturbingly large one, that is relieved that he's dead.
不过,我是说,柯丽我对此感到很内疚,因为...
But, I mean, Keely, I'm feeling guilty as fuck about that because...
他毕竟是我孩子的父亲啊
...I mean, he's the father of my kids, for God's sake.
这让我成了个什么样的人?你懂吗?
I mean, what kind of person does that make me, you know?
我也不介意告诉你这些
And I don't mind telling you any of that
因为说到底,你又不是我的谁,对吧?
because, I mean, who the hell are you, right?
重点是...
The thing is...
我才刚刚开始接受自己是个离婚女人
...I was just starting to finally own being a divorcée,
可突然间,我却变成了他妈的寡妇?
and then all of a sudden I'm a goddamn widow?
我的整个身份认同
I mean, my whole sense of identity is out the window,
随着库伯勒罗斯的临终五阶段瞬间消失了
along with the Kübler-Ross model.
所以,除了被迫离开我的家
So on top of being cast out of my home,
我还得消化随时会崩溃的
I've got this Jenga tower of, like,
罪恶感、悲伤、困惑和愤怒情绪
guilt and grief and confusion and anger to process,
我正努力地处理这些情绪,但明显失败了因为你大摇大摆地走过来推销
which I was trying and failing miserably to do when you pranced over here.
所以如果我是你我会把那惊讶的表情管理好
So if I were you, what I would do is, I would pick my jaw up off the table,
然后到那边的罗拉玛斯亚柜台看看因为那里有位顾客
and I would go check out that customer over there by the Laura Mercier,
看起来才真的需要你招呼她
because it looks like she actually needs your help.
对,看来我应该... 是的
Yes. Um, I should probably... Yeah.
好吃对吧?
Mmm. Isn't it?
真好吃...
So good. So good!
好吃极了
So good.
不
No.
(语♥音♥信箱,埃琳娜贝尼特斯)
是谁啊? 现实生活
Who was that? Real life.
是你的女朋友?
Is it your girlfriend?
女性朋友? 关机
Lady friend? Off. Off.
在我们18年的婚姻中,我从没见过你关机
In 18 years of marriage, I never saw you turn your phone off.
能让它持久些
Well, it helps it last longer.
婚姻吗? 电池
Oh, the marriage? The battery.
这是我这些年来和你度过的最愉快的时光
This is the nicest time I've had with you in years.
我的朋友,那是因为你喝醉了
That's because you, my friend, are drunk.
的确
I am. Mm-hmm.
而借着这状态...
And in the spirit of that...
我要坦白一件事
I have a confession to make.
嘿
Hey!
我可是把那家伙臭骂了一顿我知道,你做得太棒了
I chewed that guy out. I know. You were brilliant.
为何这么做?
Why?
你从没想过偷东西?
You never wanted to steal anything?
是的,好,我还想听
Yeah. Okay. I wanna hear more.
你是新生
You're new.
我知道,因为我们只有六名真正的粉丝
I know because we only have six real fans.
俱乐部之所以让我们在这里唱歌♥
The club is only letting us sing here
是因为他们的音响系统上周坏了
because their sound system blew out last week.
怎么这么说?你们都唱得很棒
What do you mean? You're all so good.
是的,试着抑制这份兴奋
Yeah.Try to contain that enthusiasm.
大家总是说在高中被欺负的原因
Everyone always said the things which got your ass kicked in high school,
会让你在大学得到上♥床♥的机会
would get you laid in college.
那你找到床伴了吗?
And do you get laid?
至少我现在不再挨揍了
At least I don't get my ass kicked anymore.
就...好了,插♥进♥去了倒过来了
Just get... There we go. It's in. Oh, now it's upside down.
看好了,只要这样...
Now, watch. You just give it a...
♪ And I'm picking the lock Into Jesus's house ♪
我在撬锁,进入耶稣的家
这是教堂
This is the church.
是礼拜的地方,不能随意冒犯
It's the house of worship. You have to be very respectful.
你留在这里
You... You stay.
坐下,坐在这里,好吗?就... 我们要干吗?
Sit. Sit here, all right? Just... Oh, oh. What are we doing?
我离开一下
I'm gonna go.
我得去办件事,你留在这里,别乱跑
I have to run an errand. Stay. Stay here.
你在干吗?
Shh. Shh! What are you doing?
你会下地狱没错
You're going to hell. Yes.
还用你说
Tell me something I don't know.
饼干,来配你的果酱,对吧? 我们在地狱见
Crackers for your jam. Right? I'll see you there.
你疯了也许吧
You've lost your mind. Maybe I have.
嗯
Huh.
不要吗?
No? Eh...
我能告诉你一件事吗?
Can I tell you something?
当然能
Of course.
我并没辞掉贝利的那份工,我是被解雇的
I didn't quit Bailey. I was fired.
什么?
What?
为何会这样? 对
Why? Yeah.
我太狂妄了,杰克就逼走我
I got cocky and Jack forced me out.
有个女生...
There was a girl...
不...不是她的缘故,是...
Oh. No, no, no. That's not why. It's...
听着,他逮着机会,就对我下手
Look, he saw his opportunity, and he went for it.
他是个混♥蛋♥ 对
He is a bastard. Yeah.
你一直都讨厌他说得没错
You always hated him. You are correct,
但那些钱确实能解决问题
but that money sure helped.
情况有多糟?
How bad is it?
不乐观
It's not great.
我们会有问题吗?
We're gonna be okay?
不会,没事的
Yeah, it's not about that.
不,我还有一些其他的赚钱机会
No, I-I-I have several other opportunities that I'm pursuing.
这...我们会没事的
It's-It's... We'll be fine.
很抱歉,库普别这么说
I'm sorry, Coop. Well, don't be.
我在想办法解决不,我是为所有的事道歉
Figuring it out. No, I'm sorry about everything.
那还真是应该道歉
Oh. Well, you should be.
嘿,你知道吗...
Ow. Hey,you know what...
这可是基♥督♥的身体
This is the body of Christ.
当心点
You be careful.
说真的,我很抱歉
For real. I'm sorry.
我也很抱歉
I'm sorry too.
是我忽略了这段感情
I took my eye off the ball...
早在你和尼克开始之前
way before you and Nick started up.
听你这么一说,我就没那么内疚了
Now that you say that, I feel a lot less guilty.
是吗? 是的
Do you? Mm-hmm. Yeah.
既然这样...
In that case...
我赦免你的罪
I absolve you.
搞什么?
What the hell?
我把手♥机♥落在... 我...我们在祷告...
I had left my phone... I... We're praying... Oh.
找到了,拿到了,谢谢
Found it. Got it. Thank you.
谢谢牧师非常感谢,上帝保佑你
Thank you, Father. Thanks so much. Bless you.
(乔治华盛顿套房♥)
我该走了
I should go.
嘿,就...
Hey. Just...
如果我们不回去呢?
What if we just didn't go back?
如果我们开车去载孩子们
What if we just got the kids and we put 'em in the car