掩耳盗邻（2025）

Your Friends and Neighbors S01E07

Part 3 May 27, 2025, 10:42 p.m.

And even if you are, you're all I got.
有停车标志
Stop sign.
嗨 - 嗨
Hiya. - Hey.
天啊你不是吧?
Oh, my God. You weren't kidding.
我知道
I know.
把一个人送进坟墓所需要的文书工作之多
The amount of paperwork it takes to put one man into the ground,
简直令人难以置信
it's just mind-boggling.
那就分点给我做呀
Well, put me to work.
好的
Okay, well...
你要喝点什么吗? - 嗨就给我...
Can I get you something to drink? - Hi, I'll just...
一杯跟她一样的
I'll just have what she's having.
不如这样把这些都拿去做吧
You know what? Just take all of this.
对
Yeah.
没想到死亡证明还得申请
I didn't know you have to apply for a death certificate.
没错真是一团糟
Yeah. It's a mess.
我想这对哀悼的寡妇来说是个不错的分散注意力的方式
I mean, I guess it's all a good distraction for grieving widows,
但老实说我不确定自己是否在哀悼
but honestly, I'm not sure I'm grieving.
这也合理你还得在这里住多久?
That's fair. How long do you have to stay here?
那房♥子警方还没查完呢
The cops aren't done at the house.
嘿
Hey.
你还好吗?
How are you holding up?
我...
I just... I...
我还真的理不清头绪
I can't really get my arms around it.
大家都知道我和保罗的关系并不好
I mean, everyone knows that Paul and I were not on great terms.
我现在却得为他主持追悼会? 来追悼的人会对我说什么?
And now I have to host his memorial? What are people going to say to me?
“我知道你恨透了他但送你个砂锅炖菜”?
"I know you hated his fucking guts, but here's a casserole"?
我也很讨厌砂锅炖菜
You know, I fucking hate casseroles.
记住了不带砂锅炖菜
Duly noted. No casseroles.
谢谢 - 不客气
Thank you. - Welcome.
你觉得有伪寡妇综合症这东西吗?
Do you think there's such a thing as widow impostor syndrome?
当然我觉得任何事都有伪装综合症
Oh, yeah. I think there's everything impostor syndrome.
我当然会有点难过 - 那肯定
I mean, a part of me is sad, of course. - Of course.
但是...
But, you know,
每当想到所有人都在可怜我
whenever I think about being pitied by everyone,
我就很想去撞巴士
it makes me want to walk in front of a bus.
他连死都要让我经历最后一次的屈辱
I mean, he can't even die without putting me through one last indignity.
真服了你保罗这招真够狠的
I mean, hats off to you, Paul. Hell of a power move.
不过...抱歉我无意向你抱怨我明白因为我听说了...
But... Sorry, I don't mean to unload on you. I know 'cause I heard--
你不是吧? - 不我听说库普的事了
Are you kidding? - No, I heard about Coop.
别傻了 - 不他怎么样了?
Don't be ridiculous. - No, how's he doing?
他受了点伤但死不了
He's a little beat up, but he'll live.
天啊到底是谁想害库普?
God. Who would wanna hurt Coop?
除了我?
Besides me?
慢着他干了什么?
Wait, what did he do?
开玩笑的
I'm kidding.
其实我有点担心他感觉他正面临一些困境
I'm actually worried about him. I feel like he's going through something.
你没义务帮他解决
It's not your job to fix that.
我懂
I know,
但当你和一个人相处久了你们之间会产生一种专属语言
but you live with a person long enough, you develop a private language.
而就算你们不再是夫妻
And just 'cause you're not married anymore,
也不会一觉醒来就完全忘了
it's not like you wake up and suddenly forget how to speak it.
我们之前刚陪托丽去参观普林斯顿大学
We were just in Princeton doing the college tour with Tori
过程感觉就像一个...
and, you know, it was like...
小小的时间胶囊 SSA-721
Little time capsule. "SSA-721."
对了我不理解
Well... I don't understand.
殡仪馆的负责人... 这些事不是应该由他来处理吗?
The funeral director... Shouldn't the funeral director do this?
对这张应该是那一堆的那堆属于“别人的烂摊子”
Yeah. That goes into that pile. That's called other people's shit.
天啊你看就在这
Oh, God. Look. Right here.
遗嘱认证申请用法律术语来说就是我们需要再来几杯酒
Petition for probate. In legalese, that means we need more wine.
对我现在可是这方面的专家了
Yeah, I'm an expert now.
不好意思?
Excuse me?
跟你赌50元这家人没人会弹那玩意
Fifty bucks says no one knows how to play that thing.
你的发型是不是有点不同?
Did you do something different with your hair?
我待会儿有约会
I have a thing later.
你没涂那香水真是太好了
Well, it's good that you nixed the scent.
我知道你不喜欢
I knew you hated it.
没错
Yeah, I did.
询问那个女友进行得如何?叫米斯蒂的?
How'd it go with the girlfriend? Misty?
没什么大动静挺典型的小老婆类型
Nothing seismic. A bit of a stereotypical second wife.
看起来对她男人的死挺伤心的
Seemed pretty broken up over the deceased.
虽然她应该是在哀悼那辆她永远没法到手的新越野车吧
Although, she's probably mourning the new Range Rover she'll never get to drive.
你呢?有什么线索吗?
What about you? You got any hits?
法医在氨水里发现了微量血迹
Forensics found trace blood in the ammonia.
但不是保罗的
Not a match for Paul.
看来凶手遇到了一些反抗
Looks like our guy must've put up a fight.
医院那边呢?
And the hospitals?
没有枪伤病例
No gunshot wounds.
但确实有人在案发现场流了血
But still, someone else bled on our crime scene.
而且把血迹清理掉了
And then cleaned it up.
老实说我真不明白人为什么要孩子
I honestly don't understand why anyone has kids.
拜托你难道没想过要孩子?
Come on. You never thought about it?
没想过
No.
我则想要有一大群孩子
I want a whole bunch of kids.
那先得找个能跟你在一起
Well, first, let's find you a woman you can stay with
超过两个月的女人吧
for more than two months.
这么说对我不公平有时候是她们甩了我
That's not fair. Sometimes they dump me.
那是什么?
What is that?
我想他们管这个叫毛绒玩偶
I believe they call that a plush.
是个监控保姆的摄像头
It's a nanny cam.
你觉得这东西会有什么线索?
What do you think you'll find on that?
可能什么都没有但看看也无妨
Probably nothing, but it's worth a look.
嗨赫克托
Hello, Héctor.
老天
Oh! Sweet Jesus!
你来这里做什么?
What the hell are you doing here?
你不接我电♥话♥
You weren't answering my calls.
你根本不知道我经历了什么
You have no idea the shit that I've been dealing with.
自从发生了那起谋杀案之后
Ever since that murder,
我就不断地接到要求升级警报系统的电♥话♥
I'm getting nonstop calls to upgrade alarm systems.
全都是从韦斯特蒙特村打来的
All in Westmont Village.
听起来生意不错
Sounds like business is good.
亲爱的发生什么事了吗?
Mija, did something happen?
比如?
Like what?
他们说那起案子是入室盗窃不遂
They said it was a break-in that went south.
我从未靠近过那所房♥子
I've never gone near that house.
我肯定没杀人太离谱了赫克托
Obviously, I've never killed anybody. That's insane, Héctor!
那乔治克鲁尼呢?
What about George Clooney?
当然不是他
Of course not.
也不是库普干的
Coop didn't do it either.
你怎么能肯定?
How do you know?
因为我了解他
Because I know him.
你跟他上♥床♥了?
Are you fucking him?
天啊拜托
Jesus Christ! Please.
我只知道自己睡不着觉
All I know is that I can't sleep
一直想着你和那美♥国♥佬♥究竟在干些什么
thinking about what you're doing with that gringo.
我盯着天花板想着你什么时候会出事然后被抓
I stare at the ceiling, wondering when you'll fuck up and get caught.
你不用担心我
You don't have to worry about me.
我担心的不是你
It's not you I'm worried about.
不知道我是怎么被你说服干这事的
I don't know how I let you talk me into any of this shit.
我们不是罪犯埃琳娜
We're not criminals, Elena.
听着我明白你很害怕
Look, I get that you're scared.
但我向你保证我能处理好的
But I promise, I got this.
不我要退出
No, I'm out.
如果我是你也会马上退出
And if I were you, I'd get out now too.
奇沃欠费利克斯十五万美元
Chivo owes Félix $150,000.
该死
Shit.
你其实也知道这事
And you fucking knew.
我只是听说奇沃又和那些家伙混在一起了
I heard Chivo was hanging around those dudes again. That's it.
你不觉得应该提前告诉我一声吗?
You didn't think you should give me a heads up?
你现在过得不错我不想他拖累你
You're doing good. I didn't want him to bring you down.
如果你早点告诉我我本可以阻止这事发生
Which I could have prevented if you told me about it.
这么说是我的错?