掩耳盗邻（2025）

Your Friends and Neighbors S01E02

Part 3 May 27, 2025, 10:42 p.m.

对,她去死吧
Yeah, fuck her.
她几岁?16还是17?
How old is she, 16, 17?
24岁
Twenty-four.
她叫做蜜丝蒂 - 天啊
Her name's Misty. - God.
我本来想猜莎凡娜,不过蜜丝蒂也合理
I was gonna guess Savannah, but Misty tracks.
对
Yeah.
妳们都去过他的餐厅
Well, you've been to his places.
他所有的女服务生差不多都是她那模样
All his waitresses are some version of her.
嘿...
Hey. Hey.
干嘛?
What?
目前的老婆除外,当然了
Present company excluded, of course.
没关係
It's fine.
他是15年前挑中我的当年我也穿那种比基尼
He picked me 15 years ago, back when I wore bikinis like that.
别那麽说,小珊,妳现在也辣翻了
Don't even, Sam. You are hot as fuck.
等妳说妳准备好的时候
And when you say you're ready,
我们就帮妳安排些合格的单身汉
we're gonna set you up with some eligible bachelor.
对
Yeah.
没错,小珊妳会拥有多到让妳不知所措的老二
Oh, yeah, Sam, you're gonna have more dick than you know what to do with.
好
Okay.
妳这蕾丝边最好是懂老二
What do you know about dick?
谢谢,各位,不过男人就送给她吧
Thank you, guys, but she can have him.
而他的钱都归妳
And you can have his money.
嘿...说得好...
Hey. Hey, hear, hear!
週末在俱乐部吃早午餐这地方可以找到美味的食物
Weekend brunch at the club, where you'll find great food,
极佳的同伴以及无尽的炫耀性消费主义行为
good company, and an endless parade of conspicuous consumerism.
我并非从未注意过但我想我现在的看法不同了
It's not like I'd never noticed, but I guess now I was seeing it differently.
嘿,各位,都好吗?
Hey, guys, how's it going?
嗨,小库,你要跟我们一起坐吗?
Hi, Coop. Are you joining us?
不确定,有看到杭特吗?
Unclear. Have you seen Hunter?
有人看到他吗? - 他就在这附近吧
Anybody? - He's around here somewhere.
杰克,嘿
Jake, hey.
嘿 - 干
Hey. - Fuck.
嘿,你好,杰克,兄弟,你好吗?
Hey there, Jake. How are ya, buddy?
库柏先生
Mr. Cooper.
前几天的事很抱歉
Sorry about the other day.
你有点吓到我了
You kinda caught me by surprise.
对啊,我自己也吓一大跳
Yeah. I was pretty surprised myself.
一定的
I bet.
好,我希望没有...
Well, I hope there's no...
永久的损伤
lasting damage.
然后,更重要的是,希望没有伤了感情
And more importantly, hope there's no hard feelings.
当然,没伤感情 - 很好
Sure, no hard feelings. - Good.
很好,来,坐下,吃点午餐吧
Great. Come on, sit down, have some lunch.
对,杰克,来...我们帮你点...
Yeah, Jake, come... Let's get you...
表现如何? - 如果你是真心的就更好了
How was that? - I'd like it better if you meant it...
我也觉得如果他能把裤子穿好就更好了
Well, I'd like it better if he kept his pants on.
妳懂吗?去吧
You understand me? Come on.
好,如果有看到杭特,请跟他说我在找他
All right. If you see Hunter, please tell him I am looking for him.
谢谢
Thank you.
嗨,妳好 - 嘿
Hi, there. - Hey.
妳好吗? - 我还在生你的气
How are you? - Well, I'm still mad at you.
我知道,但老实说,我已经不记得原因了
I know, but to be honest, I can't exactly remember why.
妈的,小库 - 嘿...我开玩笑的
Fuck, Coop. - Hey, hey, I'm kidding.
开玩笑的,抱歉
I'm kidding. I'm sorry.
小珊,拜託
Sam, come on.
前几天晚上的事我很抱歉,我有心事嘛
I'm sorry about the other night, I was preoccupied.
好,我通常会对你生气更久一点
Well, normally I'd stay mad at you a little longer,
但保罗带来他那该死的服务生而我觉得很脆弱
but Paul brought his damn waitress and I'm feeling vulnerable
这样让我很不爽,所以好啦
which is really pissing me off, so yeah.
你有看到她穿的吗?
Did you see what she was wearing?
我没注意
You know, I didn't notice.
那是因为她穿太少了
That's because she's wearing so little of it.
重点是我需要很快地觉得自己很性感
Point is, I need to feel sexy really damn soon,
所以我就饶了你
so I'm gonna give you a pass.
好,我会让妳觉得很值得 - 你一定会
Well, I'll make it worth your while. - Damn right you will.
嘿,小妞们 - 嘿,各位
Hey, girls. - Hey, guys.
大家都好吗?
How's it going?
哈囉,小姐们
Hello, ladies.
嘿 - 布莱德、小茱,你们好吗?
Hey. - Brad, Jules, how's it going?
嘿,小库,有啥新鲜事啊?
Hey, Coop. What's new and exciting?
天啊,都是老样子银行那裡的情况如何?
Oh, God, same old same old. How are things at the bank?
他们对于升息的事气急败坏
They're shitting a few bricks about the rate hikes.
但上有政策,下有对策 - 拜託,各位,行话就免了吧
But we see the way through. - Please, guys, spare us the shoptalk.
雀儿喜,我刚刚有看到妳打球
Chelsea, I saw you hitting earlier.
看起来很强喔
You're looking very strong.
谢谢你,库柏先生
Thank you, Mr. Cooper.
我看到尼克跟托莉一起打球
I saw Nick hitting with Tori.
你请来了大咖耶,对吧?
You bringing in the big guns, huh?
小库就是大咖,亲爱的
Coop is the big gun, honey.
他代表普林斯顿出赛耶
He played for Princeton.
我是知道的吗?
Did I know that?
那是很久以前了
It was a lifetime ago.
好吧,我预测我们的女儿都会像去年一样再打进决赛
Well, I'm predicting our daughters make it to the final again like last year.
你觉得呢? - 还真会押
What do you think? - That's the smart money.
嗨,你们好吗?
Hi. How are you?
嗨
Hi.
很好,大家好,週末愉快
Good, everybody. Happy weekend.
嘿,亲爱的,泳池如何? - 很棒啊
Hey, honey. How was the pool? - It was great.
说到“会押”这件事
Speaking of smart money,
我动用了很多人脉才帮你弄到三洋基的面试
I pulled a lot of strings to get you that Three Yankees interview.
拜託,那工作烂透了
Come on, it was a bullshit job.
那烂工作本来可以是你的
And that bullshit job could have been yours.
听好,大家对你避而远之,朋友
Look, you have been shunned, my friend.
在你能东山再起之前
And before you can get back to where you were,
你得要能得其门而入
you gotta get a foot in the door.
我帮你开了那该死的门
I opened the fucking door.
我不会为了五斗米折腰,巴尼
I'm not gonna sing for my supper, Barney.
六个月后再看看你能不能继续这样说
Let's see if you're singing that tune in six months.
我觉得你只是担心自己的5%佣金
I think you're just worried about your 5%.
一点也没错,还有大约四万美金是你欠我的未付帐款
Damn right I am, along with about 40,000 in unpaid invoices you owe me.
我只是说说啦 - 好,好吧,我只是说我...
I'm just saying. - Yeah, well, I'm just saying I...
我得走了 - 你才刚坐下耶
I gotta go. - You just sat down.
对啊,我得走了啦,嘿
I know. I gotta go. Hey.
嗨,爸 - 嘿
Hiya, Dad. - Hey.
你嗑药嗑嗨了吗?
Are you high?
没有
No.
一点点而已 - 杭特
Barely. - Hunter.
没事啦,我只吸了一根
It's fine, I just took one hit.
控制一下
Rein it in.
你还太小了
You are too young for this shit.
你不去买♥♥鼓吗?
Weren't you gonna get the drums?
说来话长,鼓在我家
It's a long story. They're at my house.
好,那我们可以去拿吗?
Well, can we go get them?
可以开妈的车
We could use Mom's car.
其实这主意不错耶
Actually, that's a pretty good idea.
跟你说,我得先去做点事
You know what? I have an errand to run first,
然后我们可以去拿鼓
and then we can go get the drums.
一言为定
Deal.
好,你何不去跟她换车?
Okay, why don't you go and switch cars?
你可以去换吗?
Can you do it?
如果她觉得我嗨了,她会暴怒的
She's gonna freak out if she thinks I'm high.
没那屁♥股♥就别吃泻药啊
Well, if you can't do the time, don't do the crime.
去吧,快啊
Go get it. Come on.
情况如何? - 比我想像中顺利
How'd that go? - Better than expected.
是吗?给你,你会需要的
Yeah? Here. You're gonna need that.
(尼克超强健身房♥)
那是什麽鬼啊?
What the hell is that?
你没看过超强车车?
Have you not seen the Assmobile yet?
是尼克的
It's Nick's.
他很自豪呢
He's very proud of it.
一定是的