掩耳盗邻（2025）

Your Friends and Neighbors S01E05

Part 2 May 27, 2025, 10:42 p.m.

我没看到妳惊喜啊
I didn't see you. Surprise.
我好爱这首歌♥
I love this song.
你要去哪? 化学课
Where you headed? Chemistry.
化学课就算了吧
Forget chemistry.
你要跟我来
You're coming with me.
对,用力上我,更用力点
Yeah, fuck me harder. Harder.
你♥他♥妈♥的老二好大
Your fucking dick is so big.
干,再大力点...
Fuck! Harder, harder, harder.
我要高♥潮♥了,要高♥潮♥了
I'm gonna come! I'm coming!
好耶
Yeah!
週六是亨利的生日
It's Henry's birthday on Saturday.
好,他几岁?快六岁了?
Oh, right. What is he, almost six?
五岁
Five.
对,正是好玩的年纪,有帮他办派对吗?
Yeah, well, that's a fun age. Is he having a party?
我要带他去波士顿看我父母
I'm taking him to Boston to see my parents.
不错喔,妳何时会回来?
Nice. When will you be back?
我不确定
I'm not sure.
我想我得逃离这一切一阵子
Think I need to get away from everything for just a bit.
好喔,等妳回来,如果妳想要的话我们也许可以到市区去
Well, when you get back, if you want, we could maybe go down to the city,
去逛些地方,一起逃离这一切
check in some place, get away from everything together.
没关係,我们不需要那麽做
It's fine. We don't have to do that.
我知道我们不需要那麽做但我们也不需要做这些啊
I mean, I know we don't have to do that, we don't have to do any of this.
这倒是没错
That's true.
我想也许我们不该继续了
And I'm thinking maybe we shouldn't.
妳在说什麽?
What are you talking about?
我想我们也许就到此为止吧
I think maybe we've taken this as far as it goes.
在出问题之前先打住吧
Let's not ride it until the wheels come off.
我喜欢你,小库,很喜欢
I like you, Coop. A lot.
也许太喜欢了
Maybe too much.
问题是我有时不太喜欢跟你在一起的自己
The things is, I don't always like myself when I'm with you.
嘿...
Hey, hey.
小珊,嘿,我知道我过去这几天有点忙
Sam, look, I know I've been a bit preoccupied the last few days...
你还没准备好认真交往,至少不是跟我
You're not ready for anything real. At least not with me.
我也没办法永远当一个任性中年单身汉玩玩的对象
And I just can't be some wayward bachelor's midlife fling forever.
我不是把妳当这种对象
That is not what I think of you.
得了吧,小库我说这些是让你有台阶下,而且不会内疚
Come on, Coop. I'm giving you a guilt-free out.
你就接受吧
Just take it.
听起来好像我别无选择
Kind of sounds like I don't have much choice.
又答错了
Wrong again.
小珊...
Sam...
嘿
Hey.
跟小珊在午后炒个小饭啊?
A little afternoon delight with Sam, huh?
对啊,恐怕是最后一次了
Yeah. I'm afraid it might be the swan song for that.
太可惜了
That's too bad.
是吧? 我是说,没关係啦
Right? I mean, it's fine.
好,好喔
Okay. Cool.
我可不会想念那些细节
Well, I will not miss the play-by-play.
我的天啊,就是那裡好
Oh, my God. Right there. Okay.
能不能谈... 就是那个点
Can we talk... That's the spot.
爽啊别的事情?
Fuck yeah! ...about something else?
好啦,你想聊什麽?
Fine, what do you wanna talk about?
其他什麽都好,妳的新工作呢? 很好啊
Anything else. How's your new gig? It's good.
我是说,真的很不错他们给了我固定的表演时间
I mean, it's really good actually. They offered me a regular slot.
在啤酒屋一週表演四个晚上黄金时段,窗户上贴海报
Four nights a week at The Tap, prime time, poster in the window.
全套宣传太棒了
I mean, the whole shebang. That's amazing.
我好以妳为荣,恭喜
I'm so proud of you. Congratulations.
谢了哇,现在我们其中一个人有工作了耶
Thanks. Wow, now one of us actually has a job.
好喔,对于一个没工作的人来说你还真是忙
Well, for a guy who has no job, you sure are busy.
我觉得这个家每天都好像是我自己独享的
I feel like I have this place all to myself, like, every day.
对啊,这个嘛,今天不是,宝贝
Yeah, well, not today, baby.
特纳经典电影频道在召唤我
TCM beckons.
我想报一桩杀人桉
I wanna report a murder.
好,太好了坐下吧
Okay. Excellent. Sit down.
可以看我出生后拍的片子吗?
Can we watch something that was made after I was born?
不可以
No.
是谁被杀了? 我
Who was murdered? I was.
(杭特库柏,安♥非♥他♥命♥)
好耶
Yeah.
往上看
Look up.
才一年而已
It's only been a year.
你还在悲伤的阶段,懂吗?
You're still in the grief phase, you know?
想像他们会复合
Imagining they'll get back together,
一切都会回到从前那样
and everything will be like how it used to be.
只要你放弃那种幻想就会看到离婚的好处
Once you let go of that little fantasy, you'll see divorce has its upsides.
像什麽?
Like what?
有两个家长,你寡不敌众
With two parents, you're outnumbered,
但只有一个的话要不惊动他们就简单多了
but with one, it's way easier to slip under the radar.
但真正的诀窍是在他们之间挑拨离间就能得到你想要的
But the real trick is playing them off each other to get what you want.
他们还没离婚时我就那样做了
I used to do that when they were still married.
你真是人不可貌相呢,杭特库柏
There's more to you than meets the eye, Hunter Cooper.
天啊,希望如此
God, I hope so.
谁在裡面?
Who's in there?
靠马上把锁打开
Shit. Unlock this door immediately.
翘课和擅闯私宅确实令人担忧,可是...
Skipping class and trespassing are cause for concern as it is, but...
好,擅闯私宅?拜託
Okay, trespassing? Come on.
妳说得好像他戴了滑雪头套,手拿大铁剪
You make it sound like he had ski mask and a bolt cutter.
他只是跟朋友们在后台闹着玩
He was messing around backstage with his friends.
恐怕事情不只是那样
I'm afraid this goes way beyond that.
杭特还分发毒品给他的同侪
Hunter was distributing drugs to his peers.
妳说什麽? 什麽?
Excuse me? What?
他们在梳化间裡吸食他的阿德拉药物
They were snorting his Adderall in the dressing room.
梅菲尔绝不容许任何人在校园贩毒
Mayfield has a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to drug dealing on campus.
我不能视而不见
I cannot turn a blind eye.
恐怕杭特会被退学
I'm afraid Hunter will be expelled.
等...一下,拜託等等
One... Just a second. Please. Wait.
嘿,我们的儿子不是毒贩,好吗?
Look. Our son is not a drug dealer, okay?
他患有注意力不足过动症
He has ADHD.
听我说,青少年会不会做出错误决定?
Now, do teenagers make bad decisions?
会,他们打从骨子裡就是会
Yes, it's baked into their DNA.
但他从来没惹过麻烦
But he's never gotten in trouble before.
他应该要有第二次机会
He deserves a second chance.
库柏先生,我们今年已经不是第一次
Mr. Cooper, this isn't the first meeting we've had
谈过杭特的行为了
about Hunter's behavior this year.
缺席、没交功课... 妳在说什麽?
The absences, the missed assignments... What are you talking about?
她在说... 小库
What is she... Coop...
妳来开会没找我?
You had meetings without me?
你的行程裡有注记
They were in your calendar.
妳怎麽不打给我然后跟我说会议裡谈了什麽?
Why wouldn't you have called me and told me what was going on in these meetings?
好,现在先别吵架,拜託
Okay. Not now, please.
我理解我们的儿子让妳落入什麽处境
I understand the position our son has put you in.
我每天上班都见到许多深受磨难的孩子
I see troubled kids every day in my practice.
我每次都会考虑别把事情看得那麽严重
I always try to consider the mitigating circumstances.
也许是年纪大的孩子逼他拿出他的处方药,对吧?
Maybe these older kids pressured him into sharing his prescription, right?
他想取悦对方
He wanted to impress them.
他没有贩卖♥♥药物,他只是想要融入
He wasn't selling drugs, he was trying to fit in.
但他会受到处罚的
But he will be punished.
我们会亲自保证不会再发生这样的事情
We will personally guarantee nothing like this ever happens again.
我恐怕爱莫能助
I'm afraid my hands are tied.
好,莱拉我看到楼下走廊有一个大温度计
Okay. Leila, I saw the big thermometer downstairs in the hallway.
是今年新运动中心的募款活动吧?
This year's fundraiser for the new athletic center?
你们的资金不足
You're short.
需要多少才能达到募款目标?
How much is it gonna take to put you over the top?
库柏太太不,杭特是好孩子
Mrs. Cooper. No. Hunter's a good kid.
妳知道,我们也知道
You know it. We know it.
这所学校有需求,大家都因此得利
And the school has needs. Everybody wins.
所以,说吧
So, come on.
这年头视而不见的行情是多少?
What's the going rate for turning a blind eye these days?
梅儿,二十四万美金?
$240,000, Mel?
老天爷啊
Jesus Christ.
嘿,我们的儿子就要被踢出
Look, our son was about to get kicked out
这所纽约州的顶尖学校