掩耳盗邻（2025）

Your Friends and Neighbors S01E02

Part 2 May 27, 2025, 10:42 p.m.

妳开玩笑吗?
Are you kidding?
回他讯息啦,拜託,就算为了我
Just text him back, please, for me.
好,好啦
Yeah, fine.
嘿
Hey.
掰了,妈
Bye, Mom.
吸气时将手臂往上伸,将右手臂向后放下
Arm into the sky as you inhale, taking the right arm down back.
左手臂往下回到...
We'll drop that left arm back...
我的丁字裤卡屁了
My thong has impregnated me.
给妳
There you go.
嗨
Hi.
(鹦鹉螺)
(健康与谘询中心)
谢谢
Thank you.
她就是能找到办法把我妈的男朋友说成是个王八蛋
She's, like, an expert on finding ways to call my mom's boyfriend a dick.
只是一张自♥拍♥,我给我男朋友看
It was just a selfie and I shared it with my boyfriend,
然后他又给他朋友看...
then he shared it with his friends...
我退出了机器人社团
I dropped out of robotics club.
跟我说发生了什麽事
Tell me what happened.
妳无法逼我开口说
You can't make me talk.
不是,听我说,他带着花下楼
No, look, he comes downstairs with flowers,
给了我一个这辈子最大、最草率
he planted the biggest, sloppiest most tongue-iest kiss on me
满满舌头的舌吻...
that you've ever experienced in your life...
马克
Mark.
对啊,我妈又跟平常一样地痛骂我了
Yeah, my mother went off on me like she usually does.
我猜我又再一次证明她是对的了吧
I guess I just proved her right for, like, the thousandth time.
好,等一下
Well, now wait a minute.
我们能不能承认被罚留校察看
Can we acknowledge that there's a difference
跟用钥匙刮车是不同的呢?
between getting detention and keying a car?
对,我知道
Yeah, I know.
这是你第一次做这种事?
Is that the first time you've ever done something like that?
是我第一次被逮到
The first time I got caught.
你认识车主吗? - 不认识,不是那样啦
Do you know the owner of the car? - Nah, it wasn't like that.
那你为何这麽做呢?
Why'd you do it then?
我是说,你也许不知道,但我很好奇
I mean, you may not know, but I'm just wondering,
你当时脑子裡在想什麽?
what was going through your head?
我觉得很愤怒
It's like I get so angry.
并不是真的生气,比较像是一股能量
It's not really angry, it's more like this energy,
在我体内一直累积起来
and it builds up and it's just inside me,
让我觉得很焦虑
making me anxious.
到了一种我觉得自己因此而发抖的地步
And it gets to the point where I feel like I'm vibrating from all of it,
如果我不做些什麽我就会爆♥炸♥,妳知道吗?
and if I don't do something, I'll just explode, you know?
然后我就会去做打破窗户
And then I break a window,
或是去刮车之类的事情
key a car or something.
而那样...
And it's like...
感觉能量就散发出去后来我就又能好好呼吸了
it just seeps out of me, and I can breathe right again.
大家都有梦想我们想像中的某种极乐境界
We all have a dream, some nirvana we picture.
我们想去的那个地方
That place we want to get to
最终代表着我们做到了
that will finally mean we've pulled it off,
成功、幸福、平和
success, happiness, peace.
对我来说,那地方是威斯蒙特村
For me, it was Westmont Village,
有着超昂贵的住房♥ 绵延起伏的草坪、高档的俱乐部
with its seven- and eight-figure homes, rolling lawns, and exclusive clubs.
但我开始怀疑
But I was starting to suspect
我的梦想根本蠢到爆
that my dreams had been every bit as full of shit
就跟我这个人一样
as the rest of me.
嘿,小库
Hey, Coop!
奥克伍德乡村俱乐部
The Oakwood Country Club,
一年付十万美金即可享有尊荣
hundred grand a year buys you the privilege
以高于市价40%的价格
of paying 40% above market
享受他们提供的所有沙拉、汉堡、咖啡和调酒
for every salad, burger, coffee and cocktail they serve.
但如果不加入的话
But if you don't join,
其他人都会认为好像是他们不收你一样
it looks to everyone else like they wouldn't have you.
这是一种行之有年的社会勒索经济学
It's the age-old economics of social extortion
但就算看透了它的本质,也没有阻止我
but seeing it for what it was never stopped me from falling in line
加入其他白♥痴♥的行列
with all the other suckers.
很好
Nice.
妳让我动起来了耶
You making me work a little.
她怎麽跟尼克一起打?
Why's she hitting with Nick?
因为你迟到了
'Cause you're late.
很好
Good.
网球是我的专长
Tennis is my thing.
妳可以别让他来插手吗?
Can you please just not have him do that?
好啦,又不是故意的,小库
Okay, it wasn't planned, Coop.
我们不知道你何时会到而且明天就要比赛了
We just never know when you're gonna show up and the tournament's tomorrow.
她打得很好啦
She's doing fine.
她的通用网球评级得升到第九级普林斯顿才会愿意看她一眼
She needs to get her UTR up to a 9 for Princeton to even look at her.
我以为她已经第九级了
I thought she was at a 9.
没有,她是8.7级
No, she's an 8.7.
她必须在这次比赛中
She has to win two consecutive matches
对上四星或五星的新人,连续赢两场
against four or five-star recruits at this thing.
那篮球员是要怎麽帮上忙?
Well, how is a basketball player gonna help with that?
他准时到这裡了
He was here on time.
妳说得对
You're right.
好,来吧
Now let's go.
嘿
Hey.
嘿,小库,很抱歉,我只是想帮忙
Hey, Coop, sorry about that, just trying to help.
好...如果我听说有谁想要自己的老婆被别人上
Yeah, yeah. If I hear of anybody that needs their wife fucked,
就会通知你
I'll let you know.
好,我们来练网前动作吧
All right, let's just do some net work, huh?
教练叫我们不要急着上网
Coach tells us not to rush the net.
这个嘛,他说得对,不过他偶尔也会...
Well, he's right except when he's...
说错
...not.
明天就要比赛了,现在别唸
The tournament is tomorrow. It's not the time.
这是网球基本功,来吧,我来示范
It's basic tennis. Come on, let me show ya.
打回来,用力打
Hit it. Hit it hard.
你还好吗?
You okay?
不错,好球
Nice. Good one.
你揍了我男朋友的蛋蛋
You punched my boyfriend in the balls.
好,不过还是很值得
Okay, well, it was still worth it.
嘿,托莉
Hey, Tori.
嗨,雀儿 - 明天加油喔
Hey, Chels. - Good luck tomorrow.
妳也是,小贱♥货♥
You too. Bitch.
我以为妳们两个是朋友 - 对,我们是,不过只有一个位置
I thought you two were friends. - Yeah, we are, but there's only one spot
开放给要加入网球队的新生
for an incoming freshman on the tennis team.
往好的一面看,也许她进不了普林斯顿
Well, look on the bright side, maybe she won't get into Princeton.
也许是我进不了
Maybe I won't.
妳这样说就太傻了
Now you're just being stupid.
来吧,回去底线
Come on, back to the baseline.
开始吧
Let's go.
妳跟尼克似乎发展得不错啊?
Things with you and Nick seem really good, huh?
还行
They're fine.
还早啦
Still early days.
还早?他根本就跟妳同居了
Early days? He's practically living with you.
什麽?没啦,才没有
What? No, he isn't.
我常常都把他赶回家
I send him home all the time.
我喜欢自己睡一张床
I like to have my bed to myself.
叫他来找我我会把他放在车♥库♥,像割草机一样
Send him to me. I'll keep him in the garage like a mower,
当我需要修整,就把他拿出来
take him out when I need a little trim.
那是什麽意思?
What does that mean?
玛姬跟我加入了他的健身房♥ - 对
Maggie and I joined his gym. - Yes.
课程很棒 - 太好了
Great classes. - Great.
我比较喜欢春分健身房♥
I prefer Equinox.
因为梅儿需要自我空间...
That's 'cause Mel needs her space...
随便啦 - 对吧?
Whatever. - ...doesn't she?
靠,各位 - 怎麽了?
Shit. Guys. - What?
保罗来了
Paul's here.
天啊,是那个服务生吗?
Oh, dear. Is that the waitress?
对,肉身本体
Yeah, in the flesh.
全身的肉都露出来了
Literally, that's all her flesh.
他竟然把对方带来这裡
I cannot believe he brought her here.
应该为此设立规则才对
There should be a rule about that.
她去死
Fuck her.