好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S01E23
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:01 p.m.
I'm going to go get Jake,
我要去接杰克了
But I'll leave the front door unlocked in case satan shows up to collect your soul.
但我不会锁门的 以防撒旦要来取你的灵魂
Wait a minute. Alan? I gotta put you on hold a sec,Tiff.
等一下 艾伦 我要暂停一下蒂法尼
How come Judith's not bringing him over?
朱蒂丝为什么不送他过来
I don't know. Judith asked me to do it,and I just got tired of arguing.
我不知道 朱蒂丝叫我过去 我已经厌烦了争吵
She still busting your chops about what Jake said?
她还因为杰克的话恨不得打爆你的排骨吗
Look,blame it on me.
都怪我
tell her I'm sorry. she won't buy it.
告诉她我很抱歉 她不会买♥♥账的
Sure she will. women are suckers for a good apology.
她会的 女人都经不起道歉的
Just keep shoveling it on till roses start growing in it.
你就一直道歉直到她原谅
Poor satan. he'll come for your soul and he'll leave empty-handed.
可怜的撒旦 他为你的灵魂而来 却空手而归
Hey,Tiff,I'm back.
嘿 蒂法尼 我回来了
That's kind of harsh.
这话可有点刺耳
Wait a minute. hello?
等一下 喂?
I see,that's not the hold button.
我知道了 原来我按的不是暂停键
hey,is Jake ready? not exactly.
嘿 杰克 准备好了吗 还没
Maybe you should come in for a second.
或许你该进来坐一下
Judith,how many times have I asked you to have him ready when l...
朱蒂丝 我说过你多少次先把他准备好当我...
Hello.
大家好
sit down,Alan. we want to talk to you. we?
坐下来 艾伦 我们想和你谈谈 我们?
Yes. sit down.
是的 坐下
Okay.
好的
I guess I can stay for a minute.
我可以呆一会儿
no cookies. no cookies.
没有小甜饼? 没有
Alan,Jake is not here. why not? where is he?
艾伦 杰克不在这里 为什么 他在哪里?
he's sleeping over at a friend's. what are you talking about?
他去朋友那里过夜 你说什么
This is my time with him.
这是我和他在一起的时间
yes,I know,but... Judith feels she can no longer
是的 我知道 但是... 朱蒂丝觉得她不能
Allow her son to be exposed to the toxic influence of your brother.
再让她的儿子受你的哥哥的坏影响了
Wait a second. we have a custody agreement.
等一下 我们有监护协议的
Yes,but Judith feels that the welfare of her son supersedes that.
没错 但是朱蒂丝觉得儿子的幸福更重要
you can't do this! yes,she can.
你不能这么做 错了 她可以
who are you? they are my friends.
你是谁 她们是我的朋友
Wait. what the hell do your friends have to do with this?
等等 你的朋友跟这件事有什么关系?
we love and support her. and we won't let you bully her.
我们爱她支持她 我们不会让你欺负她的
Wait. okay,first of all,
等等 好的 首先
can the person I talk to be the person who answers me?
我问谁就由谁回答好了 可以吗
That's fair.
那很公平
Okay,I don't want to talk to you people. this is between me and Judith.
我不想和你们这些人说 这是我跟朱蒂丝的事
You're absolutely right. Judith,tell him what we agreed.
你说得很对 朱蒂丝 把我们商量的结果告诉他
Okay. you can see Jake on weekends,but not at Charlie's house.
好的 你可以在周末见杰克 但不是在查理的房♥子
But that's where I live.
但那是我住的地方
I'm sorry,Alan,but you're just going to have to choose
对不起 艾伦 但是你必须
Between your son and your brother.
在你的儿子和哥哥之间做出选择
You know what?
你知道吗
maybe I have a problem with Jake being in this toxic environment.
或许我让杰克在你们这种恶劣的环境呆着才是错的
And I am not leaving until you bitter old crones are out of my house
除非你们这些丑八婆滚出去并要回我的儿子
And I have my kid back!
我不会走的
All right. you can stay. but I want my kid.
好吧 你们可以留下来 但我要我的儿子
Okay,I will go.
好吧 我走
morning. hey.
早上好 嘿
where are the pancakes? what pancakes?
薄烤饼在哪里? 什么薄烤饼?
You always make pancakes on saturday morning.
你一直在星期六早上做薄烤饼的
I make them for Jake. Jake's not here.
我是做给杰克的 杰克不在了
kind of weird without him,huh? yes.
没有他好像怪怪的 是的
Would it lift your spirits if you made pancakes for me?
帮我做薄烤饼能够让你心情好起来吗
I'm sorry,man. I told you to blame it all on me.
很抱歉 老兄 我早说过了都怪到我头上
Charlie,they had moved way past blame.
查理 她们已经不只是责怪了
It was more like a jihad.
她们差不多是在讨♥伐♥了
Except with no cookies.
除了没有小甜饼
Your big mistake was dealing with them as a group.
你的错误行为使她们结成一个团体了
The trick with women is to split them off from the herd,one by one.
对付女人就要各个击破
Otherwise,they spook and you risk a stampede.
否则她们就像幽灵 你就只有惊跑的份了
Kind of like buffalo.
就像水牛一样
In fact,I will bet that's where that song comes from.
我相信 那首歌♥就是这样来的
*Buffalo gals,won 't you come out tonight come out tonight
*水牛城的妞们 你们今晚不出来吗 快出来
Do you hear yourself? "buffalo gals "? are you insane?
你在说些啥啊 "水牛城的妞们"? 你是白♥痴♥吗
This is the kind of talk that started this whole mess!
就是这种话才会惹出这堆麻烦的
I didn't write the song,Alan.
那首歌♥可不是我写的 艾伦
morning. morning,Berta.
早上好 早上好 波塔
what,no pancakes? Jake's not here this weekend.
怎么 没有薄烤饼? 杰克这周末不在
Why not?
为什么
Apparently Jake took something I said out of context
很明显杰克断章取义了我说的话
And repeated it in front of his mother and she overreacted,
然后在他妈妈面前说了出来 她反应过度了
as is her nature.
正如她的性格
What did you say,numbnuts?
你说了什么 笨蛋
All I said was if your domestic chores are taken care of by one woman
我说如果你的家务活有一个女人负责
And you have an active sexual life with other women,
而且你和别的女人有活跃的性生活
You don't necessarily need yet another woman
你就不一定需要别的女人
With whom to tie the matrimonial knot.
来和你结婚
And which category do I come in under?
那我属于哪一类女人?
I got to say it's the sweet loving,Berta,because this place is a mess.
我不得不说是甜蜜的爱 波塔 这地方一片混乱
Morning,everybody. I brought real maple syrup for the pancakes.
大家早 我带来了枫蜜蘸薄烤饼
there's no pancakes,Rose. because Jake's not here.
没有薄烤饼了 罗斯 因为杰克不在
Because Charlie's an idiot.
因为查理是白♥痴♥
Why? I mean,"why is Jake not here?" not "why is Charlie an idiot?"
为什么? 我是说杰克为什么不在 不是问查理为什么是白♥痴♥
Because we know that.
因为那一点我们都清楚
Hello? where's my grandson?
大家好 我的孙子呢?
Oh,god,make this stop.
天 饶了我吧
Good morning,all.
大家早上好
hi,mom. morning.
嗨 妈妈 早
so,where's Jake? ask Charlie.
杰克呢 问查理
yeah,ask him. Charlie?
是的 问他 查理?
See? just like buffalo.
看吧 就像水牛一样
No,evelyn,I am sorry.
不是的 伊夫林我很抱歉
I want you to be able to spend time with your grandson
我希望你能和你的孙子呆在一起
But I just don't want him around Charlie.
但我不希望他在查理身边
Why? why do you think?
为什么 你觉得呢?
That's right.
没错
No,
不是
his attitude toward women is not a reflection on you or how you raised him.
他对女人的态度不是你或你抚养他的写照
Yes,it is.
不是才怪
Look,there's someone at the door,I've got to go.
有人来敲门 我得去开门了
No,evelyn,
不是 evelyn
i don't think this would seem less important if I was "getting a little."
我不认为如果我得到的少这不重要
Judith,can't we talk about this? there's nothing to talk about,
朱蒂丝 我们能不能谈谈? 没什么好说的
Charlie.
查理
Okay. don't talk. just listen.
好的 那就别说 只是听
I love Jake and I would never intentionally do anything
我爱杰克 我永远不会故意做什么事情
to influence him in a negative way. i don't care about your intentions.
给他造成不良影响 我不管你是不是故意的
Okay,I am a jerk,I am immature,I am self-centered,I am...
好 我白♥痴♥ 我幼稚 我自私 我...
Hi,I'm Charlie.
嗨 我是查理
Yes,we've heard about you.
我们听说过你
And I will bet none of it's good.
我猜一定都是不好的
i am sorry,what is your name? Linda.
不好意思 你叫什么 琳达
Linda. really?
琳达 是吗
I once had my heart broken by a woman named Linda.
我曾经被一个琳达的女人伤透了心
Charlie,we are having a meeting.
查理 我们在开会
And I'll bet it was about me.
我敢打赌一定是在说我
am I right? come on,be honest. Mandy.
对吗 拜托 诚实点吧 曼迪
Mandy. I love that song,Mandy.
曼迪我喜欢那首歌♥ 曼迪
Listen,I know I can't come in here and ask to be forgiven
我知道我不能在这里请求你们的原谅
For some of the stupid things I have said in front of Jake.
因为我在杰克面前说过的某些愚蠢的话
But I do have the right to say I am sorry,don't l?
但我有权利说声抱歉 是吧
I suppose.
我想是的
thank you. and you are? Kathleen.
谢谢 你叫什么? 凯思琳
Kathleen,a fine lrish name.
凯思琳 不错的爱尔兰名字
Half-lrish,on my mother's side.
我一半血统是爱尔兰的 我母亲的
are you and your mom close? yeah,I guess.
你和你妈妈关系亲密吗 是的
I envy that,Kathleen.
凯思琳 我很嫉妒
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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