好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S01E05
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 11:57 a.m.
I don't have a clue. I've never had a clue. It's part of my charm.
我是不明白 也没明白过 这就是我的魅力之所在
At least keep in mind that all these women talk to each other.
那至少记住这些妇女会互通有无的
So anything you do will get back to my wife,
所以不管你做什么 都会传到我老婆那儿
and somehow become my fault.
最后无端变成我的错
That doesn't seem fair.
这貌似不公平
So,where are you going?
你要干嘛去?
I'm helping Gloria with the soccer league newsletter.
我去帮歌♥罗瑞亚弄足球联盟的简报
I'm thinking of calling it "Just For Kicks."
我想命名为"只为踢球"
wait a minute. This is the same Gloria who drives the kid van?
等等 这和开车送小孩的歌♥罗瑞亚是同一个人么?
Yeah. Why? Nothing. Have fun.
是呀 怎么啦? 没什么 玩的愉快
Talk about not having a clue.
走着瞧 看谁不明白
And I designed a logo,
我设计了一个标识
the "K" in "Kicks" is a little foot.
"踢"的偏旁旁边有个小脚丫
Sounds wonderful.
听起来不错
I can't thank you enough for taking the time to do this.
让你花时间来做这个我真是不知道怎么感谢你
Anything for the kids.
为了孩子嘛
You're such a good father.
你真是个好父亲
It's a shame that Judith didn't appreciate you.
朱蒂丝不懂得欣赏你是她的损失
She just needed a little time to sort things out.
她只是需要点时间整理思绪
But,yeah. It's a shame.
但没错 是她的损失
Look at you.
看看你
A successful chiropractor,intelligent,dedicated.
一个成功的脊椎按♥摩♥师 集智慧和细心于一身
You're embarrassing me.
说的我都不好意思了
I'm sorry.
抱歉啦
Let's get back to your little logo.
咱们还是说说你的小标识吧
What's wrong? Nothing.
怎么啦? 没事儿
It's my neck. I must have slept wrong.
是我的脖子 大概睡姿有问题吧
Make an appointment with my office,we'll see if we can fix that.
到我诊所预约好了 我看看能不能治好
No,I'd feel funny.
别呀 我会不好意思的
We know each other.
我们可认识对方呀
Don't be silly. It's what I do.
别傻了 那是我该做的
Turn around. Turn around. Go ahead.
转身 转过去 转吧
Are you getting enough calcium? I guess.
你补钙补得够着呢吧? 是吧
It's really important for a woman your age.
钙质对于你这个年纪的女人很重要的
Osteoporosis is a real problem.
骨质疏松可是个严重问题
Curvature of the spine.
还有椎间盘突出啦
Last thing you want is to wind up with a hump.
你肯定不想变成驼背吧
I hope you didn't start without me.
希望你们没在我来之前就开始了
What are you talking about? Bill,you did this on purpose.
你说什么呢? 比尔 你是故意那么做的
You showed up late so you could snoop on me.
你故意来晚好能偷偷监视我
You got to meet my girlfriend. What meet? She was our babysitter.
你见过我女朋友了啊 什么呀 她是我们的保姆
Will you get out of here,Bill?
你能不能给我滚出去 比尔?
Kate,I'm trying. Ernie,would you put your shoes on?
凯特 我也想呀 厄尼 能不能把鞋穿上?
Bill. Charlie.
比尔 查理
That your Jag?
那是你的捷豹(福特跑车)?
Yeah. It's nice.
是呀 不错
I got the Navigator over there.
我的领航者(林肯越野车)在那儿
That's nice,too.
也很不错嘛
Let's go,Dad.
走吧 老爸
All right,then. You try and make her happy.
那就这样吧 你想办法哄她开心好了
Truthfully,I think that my ex was intimidated
事实上 我觉得吓到我前夫的是
by my sexual...
我的性的...
I don't even know,how to say it. Appetite.
我不知道该怎么说 胃口吧
So we're agreed we'll set aside six inches for the editorial column?
所以我们都同意了编辑区旁留六英寸?
I'm sorry. Yes,six inches.
抱歉哈 是的 六英寸
I don't know how I got so off-topic.
我不知道怎么就跑题了
I know exactly how you got off-topic.
我很清楚你是怎么跑题的
ok. I think the next piece of business is to decide on the paper color.
好了 我想下来该决定纸的颜色了
I brought some samples. We've got
我带了些样本 我们有
goldenrod,salmon,mustard...
菊花色 鲑鱼色 芥末色...
You had me at goldenrod.
听到你说小菊花我就动心了
Everybody has you at goldenrod.
人人都知道你喜欢小菊花
My brother,Alan,warned me not to go out with you tonight.
我弟弟艾伦提醒我今晚不要和你约会
That's funny.
真有趣
Everybody warned me not to go out with you.
每个人都提醒我不要和你出来约会
It worked for Romeo and Juliet,
对罗密欧和朱丽叶来说就没问题
up until the poison and the stabbing.
直到他们喝下毒药和自杀之前
Charlie,I have a confession.
查理 我要坦白件事儿
I haven't been out with a man other than my husband in 12 years.
十二年来除了我老公我没和其他男人约会过
That's not a problem.
这不是问题
A couple of things have changed,I can bring you up to date.
虽然很多事变了 但我可以帮你跟上时代的步伐
Please do.
愿闻其详
All right,well,nowadays,women pay for dinner.
好吧 如今的用餐都是女人付账
And of course,sex is a given.
当然 饭后嘿♥咻♥是死规定
I'll tell you one thing,I am not paying for dinner.
那我至少要告诉你 我是不会为晚餐付账的
Rats.
可恶
Look at the time. Maybe we should get going.
时间不早 我们也该走了
Give Gloria a chance for a little quiet time before
在歌♥罗瑞亚那么多孩子回来之前
her many,many kids come home.
我们还是让她享受一下这片刻的宁静吧
I don't need any quiet time.
我不需要宁静
Don't be silly.
别傻啦
Alan,would you mind driving me home?
艾伦 你介不介意送我回家啊?
I'm feeling a little tipsy.
我有点儿醉意
A little tipsy? How about a little obvious?
有点儿醉意? 是有点明显吧?
I'm sorry? Could I talk to you for a minute?
你说什么? 我能单独跟你谈谈么?
lt is getting a little late. Sit down.
时间不早了 给我坐下
We'll be right back.
我们马上回来
I think she's going through the change.
我觉得她是更年期综合征
What do you think you're doing? What?
你以为你在干什么? 什么?
He's in play. I'm playing.
他在我的游戏之中 我掌控着游戏
I'm the one who told you he's in play.
是我告诉你他在游戏之中的吧
Please. I told you two years ago that marriage was toast.
拜托 两年前我就告诉过你他的婚姻快黄了
So what?
那又怎样?
He's in my house on tae kwon do Wednesday,
周三跆拳道的空档他在我家
and I don't have time to mess around with you.
我没时间跟你胡闹
Why don't we just let him decide?
我们不如让他决定好了?
Let him decide?
让他决定?
He still thinks we're doing a soccer newsletter.
他还以为我们在做足球简报呢
You don't even like him,do you? He's okay.
你甚至都不喜欢他 不是吗 他还好啦
He's here and it's Wednesday.
他在这儿而且又是周三
I happen to think he's hot.
我正好觉得他很性感
You wouldn't know what to do with a hot guy.
性感的家伙你应付不来的
Yeah? Well,watch me.
是么? 瞧我的吧
Great. You broke him.
很好 你把他弄坏了
The biggest surprise was how much I loved having him around.
最意外的是我喜欢他在我身边
I mean,Jake's amazing.
我是说杰克很棒
Do you know I have,on occasion,actually put his needs ahead of my own?
你知道吗 我有时候会把他的需求放在我的之前?
Like going to a soccer game at 8:00 am on a Saturday?
就像是周六早上八点看球赛?
Yes.
没错
At 8:00 am,I can barely get out of bed to go to the bathroom.
早上八点我连下床去厕所都难
What you're saying is having a child in your life
你是说在你的生命中有个孩子
totally changes the way you look at things.
完全改变的你看待事物的方式
Exactly.
就是这样
Of course,you probably know that already.
当然 也许你已经知道了
But I like that you know it.
但我很高兴你也知道
I had a really great time. Me,too.
今晚很愉快 我也是
Can we do this again? I would love that.
我们能再出来玩吗 我很乐意啊
Great.
太好了
What happened? Did I do something wrong?
发生什么事儿了? 我做错什么了吗?
Please don't tell Alan's wife.
千万别告诉艾伦他老婆
No,you didn't do anything wrong.
不 你什么也没做错
I really like you.
我真的很喜欢你
Okay. This is new for me.
好吧 这对我还是新鲜事儿
It's just...
只是...
Charlie,I have a 10-year-old son.
查理 我有个十岁的儿子
I have two mortgages,private school bills,
还有两份抵押贷款 私立学校的账单
a full-time job,custody battles,alimony battles,
一份全职工作 还要争取监护权 赡养费
child support battles,car pools and drum lessons.
育儿费 还要拼车去上鼓课
How can we possibly do this again?
我们怎么可能再出来约会?
You bought a 10-year-old a drum set?
你给十岁的小孩子买♥♥了架子鼓?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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