好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S01E06
Part 1
Nov. 17, 2020, 11:57 a.m.
Hey.
嘿
Hi Uncle Charlie.
嗨 查理叔叔
How was your game?
比赛怎么样?
Ah,musician's softball league is a joke.
音乐人垒球联赛简直是个笑话
Guys trying to catch stuff that isn't there,
人们冲没球的地方乱接一通
people throwing up on
全场为了一个简单的双杀
an easy double play ball.
欢呼不已
So,why do you go?
那你干吗还去那?
There's an open bar and they let me pitch.
那有免费的酒吧 他们还让我投球
Well,I've got to get dressed.
我去换衣服
Uh,I was going to throw this toast out
我本想把这片吐司扔了
but it's yours if you want it.
不过你想吃就吃了吧
When did I become the family dog?
我什么时候成了剩饭狗了?
Hey Jake,what's this? A phone message?
杰克 这是什么? 电♥话♥留言?
Yea,some lady called for you.
对 有个女的找你
Who? I can't read your writing.
谁啊? 我认不出你的字
You're a big selfish jerk.
你个超级自私的大混♥蛋♥
Okay,I know who this is.
哦 我知道她是谁了
Amy.
艾米
Probably Amy.
很可能是艾米
Yep,Amy. She wants you to call her back.
对 是艾米 她要你打回去
Yea,that'll happen.
哦 不可能
Why not?
干吗不啊?
Because I never said I'd call her back.
因为我从没说过我会打回去
Remember this,Jake...
杰克 记着...
never make promises to
千万别给那些
women that you don't intend to keep.
你不打算深交的女人许下任何承诺
And you know how you do that?
你知道你该怎么做吗?
Always keep my promises?
总是履行承诺?
That might work.
这样也行
A better way is never make promises.
不过 更绝的是永远不许下承诺
What happens if Amy calls again?
要是艾米再打来怎么办?
Okay,I'm glad you asked that.
真高兴你问这个
When the phone rings at Uncle Charlie's house,
查理叔叔家电♥话♥铃响起的时候
we don't just willy nilly pick up the receiverand answer it. No.
我们不会想都不想拿起话筒就接 不要
What we do is we check the caller ID
我们该先看看电♥话♥号♥码
and only pick up if we want to talk to that person.
只接那些我们想和他们聊聊的人的电♥话♥
Like Mom?
比如 妈妈?
That depends.
看情况
Your mom,yes. My mom,no.
你妈还行 我妈就算了
How come you don't want to talk to your mom?
你怎么会不想和你妈说话?
I'll tell you all about that when you're old enough to drink.
等你到了可以喝酒的年龄时我就告诉你
What if I want to talk to your mom?
要是我想和你妈妈说话怎么办?
Okay,that kind of attitude is gonna break down the whole system.
你这想法♥会♥搅乱全局的
Dad,no,don't pick up the phone!
爸爸 不 别接电♥话♥
Why not?
为什么?
It might be your mom.
可能是你妈妈
Or a woman.
或别的女人的电♥话♥
It's Amy again. She just won't give up.
又是艾米 她真够执着的
Charlie?
查理?
Look,I appreciate your need for privacy,
听着 我明白你需要处理个人私事
but I think you're sending a bad message
但我觉得你给我儿子灌输了
to my son about how to deal with women.
如何应付女人的不良信息
How so?
怎么会呢?
He thinks it's okay to avoid somebody
他觉得就因为谈话的内容
just because the conversation might be uncomfortable.
让人不舒服就可以回避
Charlie?
查理?
Okay,that's not funny.
我没跟你说笑
Look,if I'm teaching the kid anything,
听着 要是我教了孩子什么东西
it's honesty.
那就是教他诚实
Really?
是吗?
Walk me through the lesson,
那也随便教我点吧
Charlie. Educate me.
查理 教教我
Okay.
成
I tell women upfront
我会提前告诉女人
I'm not looking for a long-term relationship.
我不想要长♥期♥的关系
If they don't believe me,
如果她们不相信
or they're determined to change my mind,
或者她们想改变我的想法
I have a right to avoid that conversation.
我就有回避这种谈话的权利
And the phone company obviously agrees with me
很明显 电♥话♥公♥司♥也站着我这边
otherwise they wouldn't have invented caller ID.
不然 他们就不会发明来电显示了
Uncle Charlie?
查理叔叔?
What if someone you don't want to talk to
要是你不想交谈的人
comes over instead of calls?
直接来家里怎么办?
Just tell them I'm not here.
就说我不在家
He's not here,Grandma.
奶奶 他不在家
Mom,you just surprised me.
妈妈 好意外啊
You should have called first.
你该先打个电♥话♥
Charlie,I call constantly.
查理 我不停的打啊打的
You screen like an Olympic drug tester.
你电♥话♥就像被奥林匹克药检员过滤了
I'm happy to see you,Mom.
妈妈 看到你真高兴
I don't believe you,sweetheart,
宝贝 我才不信呢
but at least you care enough to lie.
不过你至少还肯撒个谎
Hey,I care enough to lie.
我也肯撒谎啊
You just caught me off guard.
可你都不打招呼就来
So,what are you doing here?
你来这有什么事吗?
Well,I'm showing a house up the beach
我带人到海滩看♥房♥♥子
and I though while I'm in the neighbourhood,
我想反正都到附近了
I would drop off a gift for my grandson.
顺便来给我孙子点礼物
You're writing him a cheque?
你在给他开支票?
What kind of gift is that?
这算什么礼物?
You told me he likes transformer toys.
你说过他喜欢变形金刚
This cheque
这张支票
transforms into any toy he wants.
可以变形成任何他想要的玩具
Wow,thanks Grandma.
哇 谢谢奶奶
Is that all? Don't I get a hug?
就说句谢谢? 不来个拥抱?
Oh,your Grandma loves you so,so,so,so much.
哦 奶奶我真是太 太 太爱你了
Oh,Grandma's gotta go to work.
奶奶要工作了
Nobody just gives her cheques.
因为没人肯给奶奶开支票
Walk me.
跟我来
In case you're at all interested,
既然你们都很关心
I have been seeing a man
我和一个男人约会
and he just may be the one.
他没准就是我的真命天子
Hey,five times the charm.
五是你的幸运数字
Four.
这是第四个
But what about the guy with the...
不是有个...
That was annulled
那个甩了
Oh.
哦
Oh boy,are we gonna have a new daddy?
我们要有个新爸爸了?
Oh,bite me,Charlie.
查理 你找抽啊
Now,I would like to have a dinner
我打算大家去我家吃顿晚饭
at the house. so you boys can meet him.
好让你们认识下
What night is good for you?
你们哪天有空?
Uh,what night do you want us?
你觉得我们该哪天有空?
Uh,uh,uh,I you asked first.
哦 我先问的
Uh,well,Jake's here weekends,
呃 杰克周末在这里
it's Thursday. Check my calendar.
今天周四 我看看日历
Don't really want to.
一点也不想去
Tomorrow night. 7 o'clock.
明晚7点
It's very important to me
这对我很重要
and I hope you can make it.
我希望你们能去
But I'll certainly understand
如果你们无暇顾及你们妈妈的事的话
if you're too busy for your mother.
我也能理解
You know what she's trying to do,
你知道她打的什么算盘
don't you?
对吧
Of course I know.
我当然知道
But maybe one of us should go.
但我们总得去一个啊
Oh sure,you go,I look bad.
是啊 你去然后我挨骂
What do you care?
你在乎?
I don't care.
才怪
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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