好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S01E09
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 11:58 a.m.
If there were pancakes on my night table,
要是床边还放着薄煎饼
it would be the perfect morning.
那就更完美了
What happened to Wendy diabolical,
那个阴险恶毒的
Machiavellian scheme to never Ieave?
永不离开的温迪出什么问题了
I don't know. I must have foiled it somehow.
谁知道 肯定是不知怎的被我挫败了
Guess what? Grandma's here!
还不知道吧 奶奶来了
Let's see that littIe dance again.
再跳一段吧
When I was pregnant with Charlie
查理还在我肚子里的时候
We thought he was gonna be a girI.
我们都以为会是个女孩
The sonogram showed
超声波都没照出
no discernible penis whatsoever.
他有小鸡鸡
Now do you beIieve me?
信了吧
First she sucks in Jake,then you,now Mom.
她先从杰克下手 然后是你 现在轮到妈妈了
She like one of those pods from outer space.
她就像个外太空飞来的太空舱
But,you know,with a cute ass.
当然 是个有可爱屁♥股♥的太空舱
She wouldn't even be here now
要是昨晚你没带她上楼
if you hadn't taken her upstairs last night.
她现在就根本不会在这
That was not my fauIt.
这可不赖我
You saw how she kissed me.
你没看见她怎么起劲吻我的
I had to take her upstairs.
我哪能不带她上楼啊
And remember what I said:
记住我说的话
Hook him on the milk,he'll buy the cow.
男人就要先给他点甜头 他就逃不出你手心了
Charlie,where have you been hiding this girI?
查理 你把她藏在哪里了
She's an absolute delight!
她真是太讨人喜欢了
Yeah,she's swell.
对 她是挺不错的
Good morning,Charlie. Good morning.
早安 查理 早
I read somewhere you had Ieft.
看了你的留言 以为你走了
I was on my way out the door
我出门的时候
and then I ran into your mom...
正好撞上你妈妈...
and then we started talking,and,you know.
我们聊了起来 你知道
Yeah,I know.
我太知道了
So what brings you here,Mom?
妈 什么风把你吹来了
Do I need a reason? I'd Iike one.
我来还需要理由吗 总得有个理由吧
I'm showing a house in Malibu.
我带人来马利布看♥房♥♥
I thought I'm swing by...
正好转过来
and take my grandson out for pancakes.
带我孙子去吃薄煎饼
Charlie wants his on his night tabIe.
查理还想躺在床上吃这个呢
I'm ready. You coming,Dad?
我好了 一起吗 爸爸
Are you kidding?
那还用说
I want to hear more about that sonogram.
我还想再听听声波图的事呢
Good. Are you and Wendy joining us,Charlie?
太好了 查理 你和温迪也一起来吧
Gee,Mom,I think Wendy has stuff to do.
妈 我想温迪还有事
Right,Wendy?
对吗 温迪
I can always make time for pancakes.
要是吃薄煎饼 我总能挤出点时间
WonderfuI. A family breakfast.
好极了 全家一起去早餐
Go put on some pants,Charlie.
查理 穿裤子去
But,Mom,I... Now.
妈 可是... 快去
You have to be firm with him.
对他你得玩硬的
By the way,your nose is adorable.
顺便说一句 你的鼻子真是太可爱了
Thank you. I'm guessing Dr. Shapiro?
谢谢 我猜是夏皮罗医生的大作吧
No,it's mine.
不 这是我原装的
Sometimes God does good work,too.
造物主有时候也亮绝活
Jake,get your stuff together
杰克 快收拾东西
We gotta get you back to your mom.
我们送你回你妈家
Already? But we're playing.
现在就走? 我们正玩呢
Yeah,I gotta get going,too,Jake.
杰克 我也要走了
Okay. I pulled your car around.
我把你的车开过来了
If you Ieave now,
现在走的话
I think you'll miss all the weekend traffic.
就不会赶上周末堵车了
Don't you worry,Charlie,I'm Ieaving.
别担心 查理 我现在就走
I'm not worried.
我没担心
I just moved your car so Alan can get out.
只是挪开你的车好让艾伦出去
I can get out.
我的车出去没问题
Yes,Alan. Now you can.
艾伦 现在是没问题了
Thank you for a great weekend.
这个周末很愉快 谢谢
No,thank you.
不 我要谢谢你
Jake,bye. Bye.
杰克 再见 再见
AIan,I'll see you soon. Bye.
艾伦 回头见 再见
I gotta tell you,Charlie,I think she's really...
查理 我得和你说 我觉得她很...
Okay. What?
什么
I'm just saying,I think she's really great.
我刚才想说 我觉得她很不错
Me,too. When's she coming back?
我也这么想 她什么时候还来
Let's see. Today's Sunday,so.... Never.
我想想 今天是礼拜天 所以...不会再来了
Why not?
为什么
Buddy,she wants something different
老弟 她和你叔叔查理
in a reIationship than your uncle Charlie does
想要不同的东西
What does she want? Uncle Charlie.
她想要什么 你叔叔查理
What do you want? UncIe Charlie.
你又想要什么 你叔叔查理
And we both can't have me.
我可不能一分为二
I don't understand. It's very simple,buddy.
我不明白 其实很简单 老弟
UncIe Charlie is nuts.
查理叔叔他是傻子
Yeah,nuts Iike a fox.
可不是 就像狐狸一样机灵的傻子
So then Wendy can't take me Rollerblading anymore?
你是说温迪再也不能带我去滑冰了?
Nope. No more movies?
是这样 也没电影看了?
Afraid not.
没得看了
Boy,you suck.
你真逊
Suck? How do I suck?
逊? 我怎么会逊?
Like a fox.
就像狐狸那样
There he is! Let the party begin!
你回来了 派对开始!
Shaking Jake! Notorious J-A-K-E!
让你闻风丧胆的杰克 无人不知的杰克
Jake,he won't stop untiI you say hello.
杰克 打个招呼吧 要不然他不会罢休的
Jakety-Jake-Jake!
杰克 杰克
Hello.
你好
How was school this week?
在学校过得怎么样
We missed you around here.
我们都想你了
It was just school.
学校就是学校
Yeah,I heard that. Just school.
听到了 可不就是学校
Right on.
没错
I don't beIieve it.
难以置信
He's still mad about the Wendy thing.
他还在为温迪的事生气呢
Charlie,it's onIy been a week.
查理 这才一周
I'm still mad that you peed
我还为78年你在我
in my Boy Scout canteen in 1978.
童子军水壶里尿尿的事耿耿于怀呢
Not much of a jamboree for you,was it?
那个童子军集♥会♥很有意思对吧
Okay,I'm sorry about the canteen.
好吧 水壶的事我很抱歉
Now will you pIease make your son Iike me again?
想个法子让你儿子跟我和好吧
How wouId I do that,Charlie?
查理 你要我怎么做
And by the way,was that so hard?
再说跟他和好很困难吗
Explain to him that Wendy was working an angle...
你就和他说 那个温迪是处心积虑
making friends with him to get to me.
和他交朋友 目的是想套牢我
Do you really want me to teII a 10-year-oId boy...
你真想让我去和一个10岁的孩子说
that somebody he really cares about
他喜欢的人
was pretending to like him?
实际上是在假装对他好吗
What kind of lesson is that?
这会给他什么影响
He lives in LA. He might as well Iearn now.
他现在可是住在洛杉矶 也该懂这些了
Just give him some time. He'll get over it.
给他点时间 就会好的
Can I come in? It's your house.
我能进来吗 这是你的房♥子
WeII,it's your house,too. Then,no.
这也是你的房♥子 那你别进来了
Okay.
好吧
You know what? It is my house.
说的没错 这确实是我的房♥子
Look,I'm sorry about the Wendy thing
杰克 温迪的事情我很抱歉
but there's nothing I can do about it.
不过只能这样了
And I want us to be buddies again.
咱们和好吧
I don't want you to hate me anymore.
别再恨我了
I don't hate you. Good.
我没有恨你 好极了
I'm just very disappointed in you.
只是对你很失望
I get enough of that crap from my mother.
这种废话我老妈说得我耳朵都起茧子了
So what's it gonna take? Cash? Video games?
你想怎么样 钱还是游戏
I don't want stuff.
我不要这些东西
I got plenty of stuff
我爸妈分手的时候
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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