好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S01E02
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 11:56 a.m.
Hey.
嘿
Goodbye Phyllis.
再见 菲利斯
Good news.
好消息
Really?
是吗?
Come tell me in Jake's room.
来杰克房♥间告诉我
What did he do?
他做了什么?
He didn’t paint anything,did he?
他没有乱画什么吧?
I want you to be surprised.
我想你一定会大吃一惊
You will never guess what happened while I was at Judith's.
你一定猜不到我在朱蒂丝家 发生了什么
Neither will you.
你也猜不到
Oh my God!
天哪
So,what’s your good news?
什么好消息
Open the door!
快开门
Your kid got them in there,you get them out.
你儿子把它们弄进来 你得把它们弄出去
Open… the… door!
快...开...门
That was not funny,Charlie.
这一点儿也不有趣 查理
Depends on what side of the door you were on.
那取决于你在门的哪一边
Look,I'm really sorry about the birds,
听着 我对这些鸟的事情十分抱歉
but I'm sure they'll leave as soon as they get hungry.
但我确定它们一饿就会飞走的
That's what I thought about you.
我以为你也会这样
Well,you know what?
你知道吗?
Jake and I may be out of here sooner than you think.
我和杰克会迅速地离开这儿
What do you mean?
你什么意思?
At Judith's,
在朱蒂丝家
there was kissing.
我们接吻了
Mutual kissing.
一个相互的吻
Unprompted,but reciprocated by yours truly.
你得相信是双方自愿的
Wow.
哇
And was it as boring as it sounds?
是不是和听起来一样无趣?
Charlie,Charlie,she kissed me.
查理 查理 她吻了我
And this was not the kiss of a woman
这不是一个女人想要
who just wanted her garbage disposal unclogged.
疏通垃圾处理器而给的吻
Well,you know her plumbing better than I do.
对 你比我更了解她
You know what I'm gonna do?
你知道我打算做什么吗?
I'm gonna let her come to me.
我想让她主动回头
You know,be detached,
你知道 刻意保持距离
play it cool,
耍酷
you know?
你知道吗?
Yea,that's your home run swing.
对 这是你的本垒打
Hey,Uncle Charlie,you wanna play some sock golf?
查理叔叔 想玩袜子高尔夫球吗?
No,thanks.
不想
Where you going?
你要去哪?
I'm going for a drive.
我想去兜风
Can I come? Nope.
我能去吗? 恐怕不行
I don't think Uncle Charlie likes me anymore.
我认为查理叔叔已经不喜欢我了
Don't be silly.
别傻了
He's just a little upset about the 30,40 screaming,
他只是被那三四十只尖叫和到处
crapping birds in his house.
排便的海鸥弄得有些沮丧
Why don't you,uh,why don't you write him a note
你可以给他写个纸条
and tell him how sorry you are.
告诉他你十分抱歉
Okay.
好吧
Don't worry! He'll come around.
别担心 他会回心转意的
Sooner or later,everybody comes around.
用不了多久 每个人都会回心转意
You just have to give them a little time and a little space.
你只需要给他们点时间和空间
Hello,Judith?
你好 朱蒂丝
What's in the bucket?
水桶里是什么
Chum.
高招
What?
什么?
Bait.
鸟食
I went down to the bait shop and asked them what seagulls like to eat.
我买♥♥了海鸥喜欢吃的鸟食
We're keeping them?
我们要饲养它们?
No,we're gonna throw the bait out the window
不 我们得把鸟食扔到窗外去
to lure the birds out of the house.
把海鸥们引诱出房♥子
Oh,that's pretty clever.
真是个好办法
Yea,it's a variation on something I do with women and tennis bracelets.
这是由我用抛出手链来甩掉女人的法子演变来的
Hey,Uncle Charlie,I made this for you.
查理叔叔 我做了这个给你
thanks.
谢谢
I made it myself.
是我亲手做的哦
I see that.
我看见了
What are you doing?
你在做什么
I'm getting rid of the birds.
驱赶那些鸟
Can I help?
需要我帮忙吗
Nope.
不用
Er,Jake,why dont you go out and play on the deck,okay?
杰克 你去天台上玩好吗?
Okay.
好的
What is wrong with you?
你发什么毛病?
He worked really hard on that card. You barely looked at it.
他用心做了那卡片 而你几乎没正眼瞧一下
What do you want from me,Alan?
你想要我做什么 艾伦?
He's dying for you to forgive him.
他希望你能原谅他
Fine. I forgive him.
好的 我原谅他了
Now,are you gonna help me or not?
现在 你是否要帮助我?
I got a serious problem here.
这是个很严肃的问题
Really? Cos you look like you have it all together.
是吗? 看起来你已准备好了一切
Okay,here's the deal.
好 我们这样做
We go in there and start throwing this stuff out the windows.
先进去 然后把这些东西扔到窗外
When the last bird's out,
当最后一只鸟飞出去
we close the window and get on with our lives.
我们关上窗开始过安静日子
You ready?
准备好了吗?
Sure.
好了
You know,if they love this bait so much,
如果它们非常喜欢这些鸟食
why would they even wait for you to…
那它们为什么不等着你...
It's almost like somebody tipped them off.
真好象有人事先给它们告了密一样
You got any other bright ideas?
你还有什么好办法吗?
Yea.
恩
I'm gonna get a drywall guy in there and seal off that room.
我要找个石灰匠把房♥间全部封死
Very funny.
真有趣
I'm not kidding.
我没开玩笑
That room is dead to me.
那间屋对我们毫无用处
Either that or sell the house.
要么封门 要么卖♥♥♥房♥♥子
I'll put it on the market as a two bedroom plus aviary.
在广♥告♥上说两间卧室加一个大鸟舍
Everybody loves an aviary.
人人都喜欢有个鸟舍
What about Jake?
杰克怎么办?
Are you gonna put him on the market or just wall him off?
你是想出♥售♥他还是砌墙隔离他?
I tried with that kid,Alan.
我对他已经尽力了 艾伦
He says one thing and then he goes and does another.
他总是说一套做一套
He's 10! He's got the attention span of a hummingbird.
他只有10岁! 他的注意力总是不那么集中
Well then,what am I supposed to do when he ignores me?
那当他无视我的时候 我该怎么办
You punish him.
惩罚他
You take away his computer,his TV,his toys.
你拿走他的电脑 电视 和玩具
Well,you already took away all the good stuff.
你已经拿走了所有这些东西
What am I supposed to take away? His bronchial inhaler?
那我该拿走什么? 他的哮喘吸入器?
You know what I'm saying Charlie.
你知道我什么意思 查理
You just,you don't take away your love.
你就是别拿走你的爱
Hi. I tried calling
嗨 我一直打电♥话♥给你
but I kept getting your machine,
但总是无人接听
so I thought I'd bring this over.
所以我把这个带给你
What is it?
这是什么
It's my master file
这是我的技工文件
of handymen,plumbers,electricians,maintenance schedules,
杂工 水管工 电工 和保养工 的时间表
warranties,authorised repair centres,um,et cetera…
保修卡 授权维修中心等等
Okay,well,uh,you're on your own.
好了 你可以独♥立♥了
Got to run.
我该走了
Alan,wait.
艾伦 等等
Yes?
什么?
About that kiss.
关于那个吻
Ah.
啊
When you said we should move on,
当你说我们应该往前走
I got scared and uh,
我觉得很害怕所以 呃
Alan I kissed you out of fear.
因为害怕而吻了你
Hey,it still counts.
嘿 它依然有效
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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