好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S01E18
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 11:59 a.m.
yeah,mom's here. no problem,l'm drunk.
呃 是的 妈妈在这 没关系 我喝醉了
I'm bill shraeder. l'm a friend of charlie's.
我是比尔·史雷德 我是查理的朋友
No need to apologize.
用不着道歉
So,are you interested in renting or buying?
那么 你是想租♥房♥♥还是买♥♥♥房♥♥?
buying. excellent.
买♥♥♥房♥♥ 太好了
Price range?
价格呢?
l'm flexible. l'll bet you are.
我很灵活的 我猜也是
but l was talking money. so was l.
当然我是在说价钱 我也是
Sexy and liquid. l like that in a man.
性感灵活 我喜欢这样的男人
nice guy. poker buddy? used to.
挺不错的人 一起打牌的密友? 以前是
And don't call me ''buddy.''
不要叫我"密友"
There it is.
在那呢
Thank you so much for showing me the condos,evelyn.
伊夫琳 非常谢谢你带我看了那几套公♥寓♥
Thank you for dinner,bill.
谢谢你的晚餐 比尔
Thank you for dessert.
谢谢你的甜点
Shall we go to my place for coffee and cigars?
要不要到我家去喝杯咖啡 抽支雪茄?
l don't smoke. you will when l'm done with you.
我不会抽烟 等我们完事了你就会抽了
Oh,my god.
天那
He's like half her age.
他几乎比她小一半
Yeah. that's the problem.
是啊 就当问题出在这儿吧
I'm trying,charlie. l'm trying to be openminded.
我已经尽力了 查理 我已经够开明的了
But our mom with a guy who's younger than us,it's just freaking me out.
但是我们的妈妈 跟一个比我们还小的男人约会...太可怕了
Trust me,alan.
相信我 艾伦
Very soon you're gonna be looking back on this moment with fond nostalgia.
很快你就会非常想念现在这个时刻
what do you mean? look.
什么意思? 你看这个
who's this? this is jill.
这是什么? 吉尔的照片
The woman who dumped you?
甩了你的那个女人?
Get over that. nobody dumped me.
说过了 没人甩过我
All right,l'm sorry. why are we looking at jill?
好吧 对不起 看吉尔的照片干什么?
just look at it. okay.
仔细看看 好吧
She's cute. very tall.
她挺可爱的 长的挺高
Broad shoulders. holy mother of god!
肩膀也挺宽 圣母玛利亚!
Welcome to the matrix.
"欢迎来到黑客帝国"
so jill is... yep.
吉尔是... 是的
and you and jill used to... every chance we got.
你跟吉尔以前... 只要一有机会
and mom is... at this very moment.
而妈妈... 此时此刻
Holy mother of god!
圣母玛利亚!
What are you guys yelling about?
你们在吵什么?
go to bed. go to bed.
快睡觉去 快睡觉去
do you realize what this means? yes.
你知道这意味着什么吗? 当然
I slept with a woman who wanted to be a man.
我跟一个想做男人的女人上了床
Or,l slept with a man in a woman's body.
或者说 我跟一个有女人身体的男人上了床
Or,and this is my new favorite,and the title of my autobiography,
又或者说 这是我最喜欢的自传标题
My mom and l slept with the same dude.
"我妈妈和我睡了同一个男人"
Excuse me,could we just table that for now and discuss
等等 我们能不能考虑现在的问题
How this impacts on our mother?
讨论讨论这个事情对我们的妈妈影响
Why? the damage has been done.
怎么了 事情已经这样了
All that's left to do now is drink
我们只能喝酒了
Until the part of the brain that creates mental pictures is dead.
直到大脑里闪出画面的那部分功能消失
Charlie,stay with me.
查理 集中精力
Do you think l'm gay?
你觉得我像同志吗?
For god's sake,charlie,this is not about you.
上帝啊 查理 现在讨论的不是你
I like musical theater.
我是挺喜欢音乐剧的
Maybe all these years l've been pathologically chasing women
可能这些年我一直变♥态♥地泡妞
Because l've been overcompensating.
是因为我已经过度满足了
You know,l've often thought that.
其实我经常这么想
What? l'm agreeing with you. what do you want to hear?
怎么了? 我跟你的想法一样 你想怎么样?
I want you to tell me that there is no chance
我只是想要你告诉我 我们将来绝对不会
That either of us will ever have to call a woman l slept with ''daddy.''
管一个跟我上过床的女人叫"爸爸"
Jill the slob.
邋遢吉尔
gadzooks!
太恶心了!
morning. morning.
早上好 早上好
So,how was your weekend?
周末过的怎么样?
fine. okay.
挺好的 不错
Nothing exciting happening in your world,charlie?
查理 你身边没啥有趣的事发生吗?
like what? l don't know.
比如说? 不知道
Go to a fun party? see a great movie?
参加派对啦...看场电影啦...
Run into an old flame with a new wick?
跟一个新朋友旧情复燃?
What are the odds?
世界之大 无奇不有阿
One brother turns them gay,and the other turns them guy.
兄弟俩一个把女的变同志 一个把女的变男人
If you don't mind,berta,l'd rather not talk about it.
如果你不介意的话 波塔 我不想讨论这个问题
Okay. l'll fix you something to eat.
好吧 我给你们弄点吃的
How about a sausage link and a couple eggs?
香肠和双黄蛋怎么样?
Hello? anybody home? oh,no.
有人在家吗? 天那
Charlie,l need to talk to you about your friend,bill.
查理 我得跟你谈谈你的朋友比尔
oh,boy. oh,boy.
天那 天那
You know,l'd really rather not discuss this in front of the help.
要知道 我不太习惯在下人面前讨论这个话题
berta,could you give us some privacy? hell,no.
波塔 回避一下好吗 才不呢
sorry. okay.
没办法 那好吧
Bill and l shared something very special this weekend.
比尔周末的时候和我分享了一些很特别的事情
I realize that might be awkward for you,
我觉得这件事对你来说可能会有点怪
So l thought l'd come by to discuss it.
所以我来跟你商量商量
That's nice,mom. lsn't that nice,alan?
哦 好啊 妈妈 你觉得呢 艾伦?
You're the expert,charlie. ls it too early to start drinking?
查理 你是这方面的专家 现在开始喝酒是不是太早了?
What's that supposed to mean?
这句话是什么意思?
Mom,how much do you know about bill?
妈妈 你到底了解比尔多少?
Charlie,l have no doubt that you two shared
查理 毫无疑问你们过去有很多
Some sordid adventures together,but that's the past.
难忘的经历 但是那是过去的事情了
The only thing that matters to me now is
对我来说唯一重要的是
That bill is a handsome,sensitive,wonderful man.
比尔现在是一个既英俊又感性还非常优秀的男人
excuse me? Nothing. l'm just happy to be here.
怎么了? 没什么 只是觉得在这里非常开心
Frankly,mom,l'm a little uncomfortable with this.
妈妈 其实我对这件事有一点介意
A little? l think l'm having a stroke.
一点? 我都快中风了
I knew it. you hypocrites.
我就知道 你们这些伪君子
It's perfectly all right for you to date younger women.
你们去泡那些年轻女人就没问题
But when a mature woman gets involved with a younger man,
可是成熟♥女♥人跟年轻男人在一起
Somehow it's scandalous and immoral.
就违背道德 成了丑闻
no,mom,it's not the age. well,what then?
不是的 妈妈 不是年龄的问题 是吗 那是什么问题?
Because he's your friend?
因为他是你的朋友?
I didn't object when you dated that friend of mine.
你跟我的朋友约会我可没反对啊
you what? one time.
你跟谁? 只有那一次
I was 19 and she was a very doable 42.
我才19岁 那个女的是42岁的虎狼期
And if you heard how she talked about you,you wouldn't call her a friend.
如果你知道她是怎么说你的 你绝对不会把她当成你朋友的
I've heard enough. l'm going to continue to see bill,
就这样了 我会继续跟比尔约会
And if you don't like it,that's just too bad.
如果你们不满意 那真是太糟糕了
Wait,mom,l thought you came here so that we could discuss it.
等等 妈妈 你不是说你过来跟我们商量商量吗
Please,l came here to brag. l just needed an opening line.
拜托 我是来炫耀的 那么说只是个开场白
wow,she doesn't know. someone's going to have to tell her.
天那 她还不知道 得有人告诉她
charlie? what?
查理? 怎么了?
I'll clean your house free for a month if you let me do it.
如果你让我告诉她 我免费给你打扫一个月房♥子
Come on,it is a little funny.
你看 是不是很有意思
When we were dating you never wanted me to meet your mom.
我们约会的时候 你从来不让我见你妈妈
All right,maybe not so much funny as ironic.
好吧 也许应该说有点讽刺
look,jill. bill. you're angry with me.
你看 吉尔 比尔 你生我的气了
Not angry. not thrilled.
我没生气 也不开心
Charlie,l never planned for this to happen.
查理 我从来没想到事情会这样
I mean,your mom and l just hit it off.
我是说 我们真的很来电
She beautiful,intelligent,selfassured,
她又漂亮又聪明又自信
And she's just exploding with this raw sexuality.
而且她浑身上下充满了狂野的性感
No,listen,fella,
不 听着 伙计
I don't know what they told you in orientation,
我不知道你男人入门培训都学了些什么
But,rule number 1,when a guy talks like that about another guy's mom,
但是 第一课 如果一个男人在另一个男人面前这么说他妈妈
He's likely to get his ass kicked.
他纯属找抽
Come on,charlie,please don't get all macho on me.
得了吧 查理 别看你现在一口一个"男人"
You couldn't take me when l was a girl.
我是女人的时候你都摆不平我
Don't change the subject.
别转移话题
We're talking about you and my mother. why haven't you told her?
现在说的是你和我妈的事情 你怎么还没告诉她?
told her what? that you're lactose intolerant.
告诉她什么? 说你对乳糖过敏
What do you think?
你觉得呢?
stop yelling at me. l'm not yelling at you!
别对我那么凶 我没凶
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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