好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S01E18
Part 1
Nov. 17, 2020, 11:59 a.m.
but l don't want to go to summer camp. are you kidding?
我才不想去参加什么夏令营呢 开什么玩笑
You'll have a great time. look at this one.
那儿肯定特别好玩 看看这个
It's a computer camp with a theater program.
那是个计算机夏令营 还有戏剧看呢
Ethernet by day,no,no,nanette by night.
日日上网 夜夜看戏("不不 纳奈特")
I don't want to go to camp.
可我不想去
If the kid doesn't want to go,don't make him go. -yeah.
孩子不想去 就别强迫他嘛 就是嘛
-he's 10,he's old enough to work. -what?
他都10岁了 都可以开始工作了 什么?
When I was your age,l spent my summers hosing tarantulas off bananas
我像他这么大的时候 我整个夏天都在我后爸的卡车屁♥股♥后面
In the back of my stepfather's truck.
用水管冲香蕉上的毒蜘蛛
what's going on? l'm going to camp.
你们聊什么呢? 我要去夏令营了
Okay. morning,all. beautiful day.
不错啊 大家早上好啊 天气也不错
you're in a good mood. well,l suppose l am.
你心情不错嘛 嗯 是啊 我也觉得
I got a little e-mail this morning from an ex-girlfriend,
我早上一不小心收到一个前女友的邮件
Who says she needs to "see" me.
说想要"见见"我
No kidding. l wonder if she's ''knocked up.''
真的啊 我估计她是"搞大肚子了"
Nobody's knocked up. l haven't heard from her in five years.
没人被搞大肚子 我有五年没她的消息了
So she's bringing you a 4-year-old.
哦 那她会给你领个四岁大的来
Believe me,nobody's bringing anything.
相信我 没人会领啥过来
remember jill? jill the slob?
你记得吉尔么? 那个邋遢的吉尔?
Yeah,but do you remember how hot she was?
是的 可是你记得她有多火♥辣♥吗
Sure,she was a tight unit,but she left dirty dishes everywhere.
她身材是挺不错 但是她把脏盘子到处扔
Swear to god,this broad left half eaten casseroles in the bathtub.
上帝证明 这娘门把吃了一半的炖砂锅都忘在浴缸里
so?
那又怎样
With a body like that she could drink out of the toilet if she wanted to.
有那么好的身材 她想从马桶里喝水都没问题
Wait a minute. lsn't she the one who dumped you?
等一等 我记得是她把你甩了吧?
Somebody dumped charlie?
还会有人把查理甩了?
Broke his little black heart. lt was pathetic.
伤了他那颗全黑的心 太可悲了
She didn't dump me.
她没甩我
She had personal problems and moved to europe to,you know,find herself.
她因为些私人的事情搬到欧洲去了 找寻自我
berta? he wept.
波塔? 他哭了
I did not. l felt the appropriate amount of sadness
我才没有 我只是觉得世事难料
For a good relationship that had run its course.
天下无不散之宴席 有点感叹
I had to carry him to bed three nights in a row.
我连着三个晚上得把他抱上♥床♥睡觉
I was perfectly happy sleeping under the deck.
我在露台底下睡的挺舒服
You bring her home,you clean up after.
你要是把他带回来 你就自己打扫卫生
Thank god you never get any.
感谢上帝 你没这样的女人
what can l get for you? white wine,please.
想喝点什么? 白酒 谢谢
Maybe a chablis.
要不来杯白葡萄酒吧
You know,make it a beer. light beer.
呃 还是来瓶啤酒吧 淡啤
Just a beer.
不 是啤酒就行了
Another one?
那你呢?
Might as well. looks like l'm getting stood up.
可以阿 我好像被放鸽子了
Chicks,huh?
女人呐
Maybe she's got a good reason.
也许她有个充分的理由
I tell you what,if it were any other woman,
告诉你吧 如果换个女人
I'd have been out of here an hour ago.
我一个小时前就不等了
really? oh,yeah.
真的么? 哦 当然
This girl? this girl's something different. how so?
这个女人 这个女人很特别 怎么讲?
Well,did you ever go out with somebody who's not only
呃 你有没有跟这样的女人约会过
Great in bed but also like a really cool friend?
不仅床上功夫了得 而且是个很酷的朋友
Yeah. once.
是啊 有过一个
In fact,now that l think about it,
其实现在我想起来
The friendship was the best part of our relationship.
友情才是我们关系中最值得回忆的
No kidding?
真的吗?
Yeah. the sex was a little weird.
是啊 做♥爱♥倒总是有点奇怪
We would like wrestle to get on top.
我们总是争着要在上面
She would actually get angry if she wasn't up there.
要是她不在上面的话 她还真的会生气
Maybe she had a good reason. maybe.
也许她有个充分的理由 也许是吧
Charlie,look at me.
查理 看着我
how do you know my name? lt's me.
你怎么知道我叫什么? 是我啊
me who?
我谁?
no. yes.
不会吧 会
Jill? bill.
吉尔? 比尔
no.
天啊
We're gonna need two shots of tequila.
我们再来两杯龙舌兰
that's okay,l don't want to... they're not for you.
没关系 我不想... 不是给你叫的
This girl you're waiting for really must be something.
你等的这个女孩肯定很不一般啊
Just serve the hooch and mind your own business.
只管倒好你的酒 少管闲事
listen,charlie,l know... hang on. okay,go.
查理 我知道... 等等 好了 说吧
I know this comes as a shock to you.
我知道这对你来说很突然
Please,if l had a nickel for every time
拜托 如果每次甩掉我的人都消失五年
A girl dumped me and disappeared for five years
然后变成个男人再回来 我都能得到个硬币
And came back as a guy,l'd have a nickel.
我就有一个硬币了
Keep them coming.
继续倒
I think l owe you an explanation.
我想我需要跟你解释清楚
Who pays the nickel,by the way?
顺便问一句 是谁付的手术费?
Is it you or just out of some general fund?
是你自己付的还是什么基金之类的?
Remember,when we broke up and l said,'lt's not you,it's me''?
你记得么 我们分手的时候我说 不是你的问题 是我
Yes. and l believe you now.
记得 现在我相信你了
I was so mixed up and unhappy as a woman.
我作女人的时候很混乱很忧郁
So? l know lots of mixed up,unhappy women.
那又怎么样 我认识很多混乱忧郁的女人
They go shopping and eat ice cream. did you even try that?
她们逛街吃冰激凌 你难道没试试吗
I tried everything,but the truth is,
我什么都试过了 但是事实上
I was always a man trapped in a woman's body.
我一直是个困在女人身体里的男人
No,l'm not buying this.
不不不 我才不信你那套呢
If you were really a man back then,you would've jumped at that
如果那时候你真是个男人 你在卡梅尔的时候就会迫不及待的
Threeway with the cocktail waitress in carmel.
想跟我和那个鸡尾酒女招待一起三人世界了
I begged you.
我当时就差跪下来求你了
you haven't changed. l wish l could say the same.
你一点也没变 多希望我也能这么说
Charlie,how could l have explained it to you back then?
查理 那个时候我怎么跟你解释
I couldn't even explain it to myself.
连我自己都没法理解
Okay,now you've explained. thank you.
好吧 现在你解释清楚了 谢谢
Nice to see you again.
再次见到你非常高兴
Good luck with the penis. wait.
祝你的小♥弟♥弟♥好运 等等
A few minutes ago you said l was a really cool friend. yeah.
几分钟之前你还说我是个真正的好朋友 是啊
Well,l'm back in la and l'm kind of starting a new life.
我现在回到洛杉矶 重新开始新生活
and l could really use a friend. oh,boy.
我现在真的很需要朋友 噢天哪
It's just...
只是...
You know,l'm completely alone,
你知道吗 我非常孤单
And l'm really scared. jeez.
而且我真的很害怕 天那
lt's gonna be okay,jill. bill.
都会好起来的 吉尔 比尔
Yeah,bill,whatever. lt's okay.
好吧 比尔 管它的 会好起来的
I'm still your friend.
我还是你的朋友
Charlie,you're the best.
查理 还是你最好了
I wish l could've loved you the way you deserve to be loved.
我多希望我能给你应得的爱
Thanks for the ride,bill. you're a good friend.
谢谢你送我回来 比尔 你确实是个不错的朋友
you called me bill. that's your name,lady.
你叫我比尔 这是你的名字 女士
Just like old times,huh?
感觉像回到了以前 是吧
Drag your drunk ass home,take you upstairs,
把你醉醺醺的拖回家 扶你上楼
Get you undressed and....
脱掉你的衣服 然后...
alan.You never met my brother,alan,did you?
艾伦 你没见过我弟弟艾伦吧?
No,l never met anyone in your family,charlie.
不 我没见过你的家人 查理
Yeah,different rules now.
是啊 今时不同往日了
Bill,this is my brother alan. alan,this is my old friend,bill.
比尔 这是我弟弟艾伦 这是我的老朋友 比尔
nice to meet you,bill. same here.
见到你很高兴 比尔 我也一样
I thought you were gonna hook up with that girlfriend who wanted to "see" you
我以为你会跟那个想"见"你的小妞粘在一起呢
right.Turns out she changed her ''mind.''
是啊 看起来她改变"主意"了
Anyway,l ran into my old friend,bill,here.
不过我碰见了我以前的老朋友 比尔 就是他
So,stood up by jill,ran into bill.
这样啊 被吉尔放鸽子 又碰见了比尔
That's funny.
挺有意思的
You have a sick sense of humor,alan.
你的幽默感真病态 艾伦
The house is clean,l'm going home now.
房♥子打扫干净了 我要回家了
I'll pick that up on monday.
我下周一再收拾这件
I'm sorry,that's mine.
不好意思 这是我的
hi. hi.
你好 你好
Okay,l'm out of here.
好了 我走了
So,bill,you from around here?
恩 比尔 你是本地人吗?
I was,but l moved away for a couple years.
我以前是的 但是我离开了几年
I'm planning on moving back and buying a place. hello.
现在我计划搬回来 再买♥♥间房♥子 你好
Evelyn harper,evelyn harper real estate.
我是伊夫琳·哈勃 伊夫琳·哈勃房♥地♥产♥公♥司♥的
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
剧集 | 好汉两个半（2003） | 导航列表