好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S01E11
Part 1
Nov. 17, 2020, 11:58 a.m.
Okay,after I get the tickets,you line up for the popcorn,
这样 等我买♥♥到票 你就排队买♥♥爆米花去
While I go nail down some good seats.
那我就可以先去占些好位子
I want butter in the middle. don't just let them squirt it on the top.
我要奶油在中间的 别让奶油只涂到顶上了
And a large cherry slurpy.
还有大杯的樱桃沙冰(下面冰上面一颗樱桃)
Then you hold the seats while I go to the men's room,
那样我去上厕所的时候你就可以占着座位
And then I'll do the same for you.
接着你去上厕所 我给你占着座
That way we can enjoy our drinks during the movie without fear.
那样在看电影时就可以不用担心 放心喝饮料了
Got you.
明白了
you're not gonna do any of that,are you? nope.
你不准备按我说的做吧是吧？
So you want to go in there with no coordination,
你打算毫无准备得就这样进去
no strategy,just winging it? that's what I'm thinking.
没有计划临时应付？
I have no faith in this at all.
我没什么信心了
Now for her,I'd stand in line for a butter squirt.
如果是为她的话 我倒是愿意排队买♥♥点甜品
Yeah,she is a hottie.
嗯 是个靓妞
Hey,that's no hottie. that's your ex-wife.
嘿 那不什么靓妞 那是你前妻
judith? alan.
朱蒂丝？
Sorry about the squirt thing.
关于甜品我很抱歉
Wow,look at you. new hair,clothes.
哇 瞧瞧你 新发型 新装扮
You look... wow.
你看起来 哇！
thank you. no,thank you.
谢谢你u3000u3000
It's a public service
拉拉选择抹口红 而不是去穿男式短夹克衫(扮"王子")
When a gay chick goes lipstick instead of lumberjack.
倒是件造福大众的事情
So,how was the movie? where's jake?
电影怎么样 好看吗 杰克呢?
Home with the babysitter. alan,I'm kind of on a date.
在家和保姆一起 我现在可以算是在约会
Okay,is that her?
哦 是和她吗?
Hi,nice to meet you. I'm the ex.
你好 很高兴见到你 我是她的前任
Alan,that's not my date.
艾伦 她不是我的约会对象
hey,alan. Phil? what a coincidence.
你好艾伦u3000u3000
Phil is jake's soccer coach. Phil,you remember judith.
菲尔是杰克的足球教练 菲尔 还记得吧?
Well,yeah...
额...记得
One-mississippi...
一只绵羊...
alan? what?
艾伦．．．
...two-mississippi.
...两只绵羊
Oh,god.
天哪...
Okay,we're all caught up.
额 我们都被抓现行了
Wait,you're dating Phil? how can you be dating Phil?
等等 你在和和菲尔约会? 你怎么能和菲尔约会?
Alan,he asked me out.
艾伦 他约我出来的
What about the whole gay thing? did you even give that a chance?
那拉拉的事怎么说呢? 试都不打算试试吗?
Phil,we'd better go.
菲尔 我们走吧
Hey,look,alan,I hope this doesn't affect our friendship.
嘿 听着 艾伦 我希望这不会影响到咱俩的友谊
no. call me,we'll hang out. great. hey,how's tuesday?
当然不会给我电♥话♥我们一起出去
Tuesday's good. judith,how's tuesday for you?
周二没问题 朱蒂丝 你周二有空吧?
Just walk away.
快走吧
I know you built your sundeck without a permit and I am calling it in.
我知道你违章搭了阳台 我要去检举你
Alan,chill.
艾伦 冷静
That two-faced,wife-poaching,soccer-coaching,rat-bastard!
u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000
Come on,let it go.
来吧 随它去吧
i'll treat you to a cherry slurpy. i don't want a cherry slurpy.
我请你喝樱桃沙冰吧u3000
Are you sure? cause I think Phil's gonna get one.
你确定? 怕是今晚菲尔会吃到樱桃哦(暗指乳♥房♥♥上面的那颗)
What does she think she's doing?
她以为她在干什么呢？
She's straight,she's gay,she's straight again.
她一会儿直的 一会儿是弯的 现在又直了
Place your bets. where she lands,nobody knows.
赌一把吧 她最后是直是弯 都没人知道
Alan,it's no big deal.
艾伦 这不是什么大事
Women get to experiment with their sexuality.
女人们得通过尝试才能知道她们的性倾向
It's only guys who have to make a choice and stick to it.
但一个男人的话 一旦决定了 就得一直坚持下去
where do you get this stuff? i make it up.
你从哪听来得这种说法？
Anyway,it doesn't matter what judith is.
总归 朱蒂丝是什么性倾向不重要
lt only matters what she's not. and what is she not?
重要的是她再也不会．．．
She is not coming back to you,pal.
她再不会回到你身边了 伙计
Thank you for your sensitivity.
多谢你如此敏感
All I'm saying is,is that judith has moved on with her life,
我想说的是 朱蒂丝开始了她的生活不是吗?
And maybe it's time for you to do the same.
你或许也该同样开始你的了
I know. it's just... I can't.
我知道 我只是...做不到而已
sure you can. I'll help you. how?
你当然做得到我会帮你的
I don't know,by saying things like,"sure you can. I'll help you."
不知道 大概通过随口说说"你能做到我会帮你"之类的吧
Great,thanks.
很好 多谢
Look,this isn't just about you,you know?
听着 这不只关系到你 你明白不
All this wallowing in the past is causing other people to suffer.
沉溺于过去只能让别人也跟着遭殃
you mean jake. i mean me.
你是指杰克？
You are really starting to piss me off.
你真的开始要惹毛我了
Okay,that's enough help for now.
额 好了 就帮到这吧
I'm saying maybe it's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself.
我说这或许该是你停止自怨自艾的时候了
you're right,I know you're right. forget judith.
没错我知道你说的没错
There's a whole world out there that you haven't pissed off yet.
这外面还有一整片森林在等着你呢
There is no reason I couldn't find happiness with someone else.
没道理因为她就不能跟再别人一起幸福生活了
There you go.
就是这样咯
This could be the beginning of the rest of my life.
这或许是我下半辈子新的开始
A bit of a bumper sticker,but sure,why not?
有点老套 但很正确 为什么不呢?
In fact,for the first time since college,
事实上 自从大学以来 第一次
i can go after any woman I want.
我可以去追求我想追的女人
Heck,I could take a page from your book
啊呀 我可以从你的通讯录上找一页
and date them two,three at a time. yeah,right. I mean,yeah,right.
一次和她们两三个约会
You know what? I'm gonna start right now.
你知道吗? 我现在就打算开始
I am gonna die alone.
我会孤独终老
No.
不
You just don't know how to sell yourself. give me a minute.
你只是不知道怎么推销自己 看我的
so? lf it was up to them,you'd die alone.
怎样？u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000
great. okay,here's the thing.
很好u3000u3000u3000u3000
If you want to play in this league,you have to make a few changes.
如果你想在这圈子里混 你就得作些改变
like what? hang on.
怎么变？
pretty much everything. everything?
几乎得改个底朝天
Yep. the hair,the clothes,the fuddy-duddy personality.
是 头发u3000穿着 还有唠唠叨叨吹毛求疵的性格
What do they know about my personality?
她们怎么会知道我的性格?
Okay,that part's mine.
好吧 这部分是我说的
Face it,alan,you've been an old fart since you were 14.
面对吧 艾伦 你从14岁开始就变成了一个老古板
What is that supposed to mean?
你这什么意思?
It means,how many eighth-graders carry a briefcase and a pocket watch?
意思是 有多少初二学生会拎个公文包揣个怀表的?
That was the esperanto club look.
那是我世界语协会的行头
Unless you know where all the hot esperanto chicks hang out,
除非你知道那些世界语靓妞都住哪
You're gonna need to shake things up a little.
那你就得把自己打散重装了
Really? and how to do I go about "shaking things up"?
是吗? 我怎么才能"把自己打散重装"了?
Hang on.
等等
This may take a while. don't wait up.
这得有一会了 不用等我了
Hey,guess what?
嘿 猜猜怎么了?
Coach Phil made me first-string on the soccer team.
菲尔教练让我在球队里打上主力首发了
ls that so? yeah,it's weird,'cause I suck.
是那样吗？u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000u3000
Maybe coach Phil sees some potential.
说不定菲尔教练发现了一些"潜质"
so,what else is new? mom's got new clothes and new hair.
那么还有别的什么新闻？
It's like she's a different person or something.
就像换了一个人还是怎么的
but she's still the same person,jake. no,not really.
但她还是那个人杰克
She walks around the house singing all the time.
她在屋子里边转边唱来着
she just sings for no reason? i guess.
她是无缘无故的唱么？
I wonder if it's the same reason I sing for no reason.
我想是不是跟我无缘无故唱歌♥时的原因一样
Does coach Phil sing for no reason?
菲尔教练会无缘无故的唱歌♥吗？
For god's sake,charlie!
看在上帝的面子上 查理!
How come you haven't changed anything yet,dad?
为什么你什么都没有变呢? 爸
why should I change? so you'd look cool like mom.
我为什么要改变呢？
you don't think I look cool now? no.
你不认为我现在看起来酷吗？
You know what,it doesn't matter if I look cool,
你知道啥 我看起来酷不酷不重要
We judge a person by what's inside them,not by what they wear.
我们判断一个人是通过他的内在 而不是他的穿着
Lucky for you.
祝你好运
Yeah,lucky.
嗯 好运
i'm done. can I go watch tv? sure.
我吃好了我能去看电视了吗？
Help me,charlie. I want to sing for no reason.
帮帮我 查理 我也想无缘无故唱唱歌♥
Get your jacket. it's time to go.
穿上你的夹克 是时候出发了
I don't want to go. I hate clothes shopping.
我不想去 我讨厌买♥♥衣服
you can't stay here alone. why not?
你不能单独待在家里
You know why not.
你知道为什么不可以
But you don't have a turtle to put in the microwave anymore.
但你已经没有海龟能让我放微波炉里了
get your jacket. fine.
穿上你的夹克
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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