好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S01E10
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 11:58 a.m.
Okay,I don't know how we got onto sports,
我不知道我们什么时候开始聊体育了
But the thing is,I really care for lisa
但是 我真的很关心利莎
And she needs to believe I'm capable of changing.
我需要她知道我肯作出改变
But the thing is,you're not.
但事实是你不会的
You don't know that. I might be.
你又不知道 有可能的啊
Who knows what would happen if I actually tried.
如果我尝试一下的话 谁知道会怎么样呢
You're really serious about this.
那你真的是很认真的
Alan,I've got a 200-pound turkey melting in my lap.
艾伦 一只两百磅的火鸡在我大腿上融化着
what do you think? okay,how can I help?
你觉得呢 好吧 我能帮忙吗
Obviously,we can't have a family thanksgiving without a kid.
很明显 家庭聚餐肯定需要有孩子
So you need to get jake back from your wife.
你得把杰克从你老婆那里抢回来
Simple as that?
就这么简单吗
Okay,so I go to judith and I say,
好吧 我去和朱蒂丝说
"forget the fact that we agreed on a custody schedule,
别管我们协议的监护时间表
"forget that your parents are driving all the way from sacramento
也别管你父母从萨克拉门托开车到这里
"to spend time with their grandson. charlie needs to use our son as a prop
来看他们的孙子 查理需要用我们的孩子作为道具
"so he that can maintain an on-again-off-again relationship
来维持一段跟他和和分分的
"with a woman with whom he might eventually wind up."
可能将来是他的唯一的女人的一段关系
you know what,I'll talk to her. yeah.
还是我来跟她说吧 好的
No way in hell. are you insane? what's wrong with you?
想都别想 你疯了吗 你脑子出什么毛病了
Okay,maybe I didn't explain it correctly.
好吧 也许我没解释清楚
You explained it fine. you're not taking jake for thanksgiving.
你解释得很清楚 你不能带走杰克
Not just jake. you can come,too,and your parents.
不止是杰克啊 你也能来 还有你的父母
Think of it,the whole family,just like the good old days.
想想 一大家子 就像美好的当年
What good old days?
什么美好的当年
Why is everybody so damn literal?
为什么人人都咬文嚼字
Judith,what is thanksgiving about,if not family?
朱蒂丝 感恩节不是家庭团聚的话又是什么呢
Wouldn't it be good for jake to spend thanksgiving with his whole family,
让杰克跟全家一起过感恩节不是更好吗
Because that's what thanksgiving is about,family and stuff.
这才是感恩节的主题 家庭什么的
i don't know. you wouldn't have to lift a finger.
我还没想好 你什么也不用做
I'll have someone there to do the cooking,the serving,and the cleaning.
我会叫人来烧饭端菜洗碗
really? who? my housekeeper,berta.
真的吗 谁 我的管家 波塔
She's a saint,and she's really looking forward to this.
她是个圣人 她很期待那天
No way in hell. are you insane? what's wrong with you?
想都别想 你疯了吗 你脑子出什么毛病了
come on. i don't work holidays,charlie.
求你了 我节日不工作 查理
please. i've got a life,you know.
求你了 我有自己的生活
Pretty,please.
靓姐 求你了
My brother is in the witness protection program,
我弟弟正在受美国司法部保护因为他做过证人
And I've been invited to spend thanksgiving with him
他邀请我去一个无名地带
At an undisclosed location.
和他一起过感恩节
i'll give you $1,000. done.
我付你一千块 成交
hi,you must be jake. yes,I am.
你好 你一定就是杰克了 是的
My wonderful uncle charlie has opened his home
好心的查理叔叔张开他温暖的怀抱
To me and my father cause we had nowhere else to go.
接受了我们这对居无定所的父子
Hey,merry thanksgiving.
感恩节幸福
I like what you've done with the place.
你的房♥子不错
You picked out everything here.
这些东西都是你挑选的
I know. just wanted to make sure you did.
是啊 我只是想确实你记不记得
Charlie,I've got to admit,I never thought I'd see the day
查理 我必须承认 我没想到有一天你会
When you'd be hosting a family thanksgiving.
叫上一大家子来过感恩节
Like I've been telling you,I've changed.
我告诉过你的 我改变了
So,with that in mind,
这样说的话
You wanna blow this place and get a room?
你想离开这里去开个房♥间吗
charlie,stop it. come on,introduce me. fine.
查理 别这样 给我介绍一下 好吧
Lisa,this is judith,my former sister-in-law,
利莎 这是朱蒂丝 我的前嫂子
but still,you know,family. hi.
但是仍然是家人 你好
it's nice to meet you. nice to meet you.
很高兴见到你 很高兴见到你
And these,of course,are her wonderful parents,
那两位是她的老爸老妈
sherman and lorraine. sheldon and lenore.
谢尔曼和罗瑞恩 谢尔顿和兰纳
Sheldon and lenore. it's great to see you,folks.
谢尔顿和兰纳 很高兴见到你们
so,shelley,how you liking california? we live in california.
谢利 你喜欢加州吗 我们住在加州
So you must really like it.
那你肯定很喜欢了
hi,lisa. so nice to see you again. hi,alan,long time.
利莎 很高兴再次见到你 艾伦 很长时间没见了
See,isn't this great? this is why we all come together.
这很好 不是吗 我们聚在一起的理由
We break up,we make up,
我们分开 我们重聚
But in the end,the love is the love and the family is the family.
但到最后 爱还是爱 家庭还是家庭
Ease up on the wine,charlie.
少喝点酒吧 查理
No,he's right,and alan,sheldon and I want you to know
他说的没错 艾伦 谢尔顿和我都想让你知道
That even though you and our daughter are no longer married,
虽然你和我们的女儿离婚了
We will always think of you as our son.
我们还是把你当孩子来看待
What the hell's that supposed to mean,ma?
这算什么意思 老妈
It means that,even though you loused up your marriage,
意思是 虽然你的婚姻失败了
We still love him.
但是我们仍然爱他
Thanks a lot,dad. I appreciate the blame.
太谢谢了 老爸 谢谢你责怪我
This is really judith's family. let's go find mine.
这是朱蒂丝的家庭 我们去找我的
hey,berta. look who's here. hi,berta.
你好 波塔 看谁来了 你好啊 波塔
Honey,don't tell me you're back here again.
亲爱的 别告诉你我你又要住这儿了
Don't you ever learn?
你的教训还不够多吗
As a matter of fact,I think I have.
实际上 我觉得够多了
Good for you. you can do so much better.
不错 你还能做得更好
And remember,you may have two grandmothers,
记住 你可能有两个祖母
But only one of them has enough money to send you to medical school.
但只有一个有钱让你上医学院
What if I don't want to go to medical school?
如果我不想去医学院呢
Then you'd break your grandmommy's heart
那我就要伤心了
just like your father did. dad's a doctor.
就像你老爸一样伤我心 我爸是个医生
No,sweetheart. your father's a chiropractor.
不是的宝贝 你老爸是个脊椎指压按♥摩♥师
That's a masseuse without the hot oil.
那就是不用油的按♥摩♥
go play with your friends. i'm the only kid here.
去和你的朋友玩 这里只有我一个小孩
You might want to think about why that is.
这是为什么你得好好想想了
I want more money.
我要加薪
Hey,mom.
妈妈
You remember lisa,right? we used to live together.
你还记得利莎的对吗 我们以前同居过
No,I don't. I'm sorry. hello,dear.
噢 我不记得 对不起
My son has had so many little roommates.
我儿子的室友实在太多了
I just hope you've got better taste
我希望你的要品味比
Than the one who picked out his hideous furniture.
那个帮他挑这些破家具的人高
Hey,who's got unresolved issues with her now?
现在谁还和她会有问题呢
Did it ever occur to you that you might want to support me,
你有没有想过要帮我说话
your daughter? why can't we support alan,too?
你们的女儿 为什么我们不能也帮艾伦说话
because I'm divorcing him. who told you to go and do that?
因为我要和他离婚了 谁叫你这么干的
It's very sweet of you
你真是太好了
To go to all this trouble,but who are you kidding?
搞得这么麻烦 你在骗谁啊
The plaid shirt,the sweater vest,the kid actor.
花格子衬衫 汗衫背心 演员孩子
No,that's really my nephew.
那真的是我的外甥
I love you,charlie,but you're not gonna change my mind.
我爱你查理 但是我不会改变主意的
live with me. charlie.
搬来和我住吧 查理
no,I'm serious. move back in. really? and then what?
我是认真的 搬进来吧 是吗 然后呢
And then,we'll see.
然后等着瞧啊
Wow,a commitment to "see."
哇喔 "等着瞧"的承诺
And what finger does that ring go on,charlie?
这个戒指该戴在哪根手指上啊 查理
you know what I mean. i know exactly what you mean.
你知道我的意思 我完全知道
You want me to waste a couple of more years of my life
你还想让我在一段肯定要失败的感情上
On a relationship that's absolutely doomed to fail.
再浪费几年的时光吗
Not your life,our life.
不是你的时光 是我们的
Look,I appreciate your feelings for me,but I have to tell you,
我很感谢你们支持我 但我得告诉你们
I really think your daughter deserves a lot of respect.
我认为你们的女儿应该得到更多尊重
It takes real courage to make changes in your life and not worry
作出生活上的改变而且不在乎别人的观点
about what everybody thinks. thank you,alan.
是很需要勇气的 谢谢 艾伦
That's true.
这到没错
The lesbians of my generation were too scared to come out of the closet.
我年轻时候的女同性恋没几个敢出柜的(承认自己是同志)
Does that mean what I think it means?
这话的意思是我想的那样吗
you haven't told them? no.
你没告诉他们吗 没
I thought it would be more appropriate coming from your mother.
我觉得从你妈口中得知会比较好
I'm sorry,did I faux pas?
对不起 我失言了吗
yes,just get her out of here. mom...
是的 让她出去 妈妈
What was I thinking?
我在打什么如意算盘呢
Happy thanksgiving.
感恩节快乐
Sorry I'm late,but I didn't realize you're having a party.
对不起我迟到了 没想到你在开派对
hi,I'm rose. hi.
你好 我是罗斯 你好
Don't worry. charlie and I had sex once,but now we're just friends.
别担心 查理和我上过床 但现在我们只是朋友
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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