好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S01E21
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, noon
then I'm stumped. what's going on?
那我就没办法了 怎么了
Nothing. not a thing.
没什么
charlie,there's no reason to lie. are you sure?
查理 没必要撒谎 你确定吗
There usually is.
一般来说都需要撒谎的
I'm a little upset with your brother for getting involved with my
我对你弟弟和我的助手之间的事
assistant.
有点意见
I mean,it could be construed as a breach of ethics.
这可是违反职业道德的
Nice going,charlie. this won't affect my case,will it?
好极了 查理 这不会影响到我的案子吧
No,of course not,alan. I'm a professional.
当然不会 我可是很职业的
If we're going to make it to that settlement conference on time
我们要去参加那个庭外和解会议了
Maybe you should put on a jacket and tie. nothing too nice.
你去穿一件夹克 戴上领带吧 别穿得太好了
You're good.
你很有一套
Do you think you can keep it in your pants till I get my stuff back?
在我把我的东西拿回来之前 你能守住你的裤衩吗
I'm trying harder than you think.
我已经在努力了
Okay,we've got 15 minutes. where do you want to do this?
我们有15分钟 你想在哪做
Hold on.
等一下
It's not that I'm not into risky,semi-public sex,
不是我反对半公共场合的性♥爱♥
It's just that I am starting to resent your attitude.
只是 我开始讨厌你的态度了
Charlie,we have a deal.
查理 我们有协议的
Okay,laura,look.
劳拉
I only went along with that because
我之所以同意是因为
You are hot,and it took little to no effort on my part.
你很火♥辣♥ 而且我不需要很拼命
Just make yourself at home,crystal. that's the ocean.
你随意点 克丽斯托 那边就是海
Anyway,I think we might be done here.
我觉得我们之间完了
you're dumping me? yep.
你要甩了我吗 是的
Now.
就现在
You are going to be very sorry,charlie harper.
你会很后悔的 查理·哈勃
Yeah,
是啊
girls have been using that tired old line on me since the fifth grade.
自从我5年级开始女孩子们就开始对我说这种台词了
The next item is the rare book collection appraised at $12,000.
下一项是价值1万2千美元的珍贵藏书
Actually,our appraisers came in at $16,500.
实际上 我们的估价是1万6千美元
yeah. enjoy them.
是的 拿走吧
What?
什么
i was only asking for half. why break up a collection?
我本来只是要求一半的 为什么要把收藏品分开呢
Okay,what's next?
好的 下面是什么
I understand there's a dispute over the massage chair.
关于这张按♥摩♥椅肯定会有争论的
Not anymore. we concede.
没有 我们放弃
What do you mean we concede? we're not here for conceding.
你说放弃是什么意思 我们来不是为了放弃的
We're here for fighting and winning and squishing,remember?
我们是来战斗 胜利 压垮他们的 记得吗
alan,I know what I'm doing. okay,moving on to the retirement fund.
艾伦 我知道我在做什么 好的 接下来是退休基金
take it. take it?
拿上吧 拿上?
take it. i'll take it.
拿去 那我要了
Are you out of your mind?
你疯了吗
okay,what else would you like? what else?
你们还想要什么 还想要?
Judith,for god's sake,remember there was a time when you loved me!
朱蒂丝 看在上帝的份上 想想你毕竟也曾经爱过我
Cool.
酷
That was quick.
很快嘛
Yeah,like every other time judith screwed me.
就像其他时候朱蒂丝玩我一样快
what happened? i'll tell you what happened.
怎么了 我来告诉你怎么了
My settlement conference turned in to a drive-by colonoscopy.
我的财产分割会议成了快速结肠镜检查
Charlie,have you ever heard of a divorce agreement
查理 你听说过离婚协议里有
That requires the ex-husband
要求丈夫支付
to pay the ex-wife's dry cleaning for life?
前妻一辈子干洗费这种事情吗
Yeah,not just clothes.
不止是衣服
Drapes,rugs,
布帘 地毯
Slip covers,even suede.
家具套 甚至还有山羊皮
Sounds like she really took you to the cleaners.
听起来她是把你当清洁工了
Sorry.
对不起
So I fired laura and tore up the agreement.
所以我炒了劳拉 把协议撕毁了
I'm going to have to find a new attorney and just start all over.
我要重新找个律师 重新开始谈判
Good,then. no harm,no foul.
好的 没有损失就没关系
Except for the thousands of dollars of extra legal fees.
除了我付的几千元法律费用
Yeah,that's got to sting a little.
那到是有点心疼的
Not as much as having to buy judith's parents a retirement condo in boca raton.
没有帮朱蒂丝父母在波卡瑞顿买♥♥一套退休公♥寓♥那么心疼
She didn't even ask for that. laura just threw it in.
她根本就没提出这个要求 是劳拉加进去的
Lawyers.
律师啊
But you know what the interesting thing is?
你知道有意思的是什么吗
No,what?
什么
After it was all over
在结束之后
And judith and her attorney went dancing out of the room,
朱蒂丝和他的律师在房♥间外跳舞
I asked laura why she had done this to me,
我问了劳拉她为什么要这样做
And she said,and I quote,"ask your brother."
我就引用她的话来说 问你哥哥去
So here I am asking you.
我现在来问你了
Why,charlie?
为什么 查理
Why did my very expensive beverly hills divorce lawyer sell me out?
为什么我那昂贵的住贝弗利山庄的律师要出♥卖♥♥♥我
Okay. I'll tell you the whole story.
好吧 我来告诉你一切
But maybe you should sit down first.
也许你应该坐下来
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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