好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S01E14
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 11:59 a.m.
ignored,
需要一点时间
So until then,you're gonna have to cut back.
所以 你现在必须缩减开支
but you said I got money coming. shall I go get the paper cup?
你不是说有钱要进来了吗 我再去拿个纸杯示范一下怎么样
Okay. what do we cut?
好吧 我们怎么节约
Let's look at your expenses.
来看看你的开支
First thing is,we stop paying your accountant.
第一件事 别再给你的会计工资了
That's a little cold,isn't it?
这有点太无情了 不是吗
He's great,I've known him for years. he's going through a rough patch.
他是个好人 我认识他很久了 现在他有点麻烦
charlie,you're broke. you're right,screw him.
查理 你破产了 没错 随他去吧
What's next?
接下来呢
You have a gardener. why do you have a gardener?
你有一个花匠 你干吗要一个花匠
To tend my garden.
他负责我的花♥园♥
Garden? you mean the two potted palms on the deck?
花♥园♥? 你是说阳台上那两盆盆栽棕榈吗
Water them yourself.
你自己去浇水
Okay,but I'm gonna have to buy a hose and one of those watering things,
好吧 那我还要去买♥♥根管子 还有洒水的东西
So isn't that kind of a push?
那不需要花钱吗
Gone. now,"ultimate premiere satellite package"?
不要了 终极卫星直播套餐是什么
That's really cool. I get every sporting event in the world.
这太棒了 我能看到全球任何体育比赛
If a kid in madagascar throws a rock at a tree,
有一个马达加斯加的孩子用石头扔树
i can see it and bet on it.
我也能看到 而且能赌
It's gone.
不要了
Oh,man. we can keep the cable,though,right?
那有线电视总能留下吧
You have satellite and cable?
卫♥星♥电♥视♥和有线电视你都用?
Sometimes there's solar flares.
有时候太阳耀斑活动异常
Okay,we can cut back to basic cable.
我们就订最低收费有线电视
Basic cable? that's what they get in prison.
最低收费有线电视? 监狱里也能看的那种?
hey,what you doing? bad time,rose.
你们在干吗 现在别烦 罗斯
Money problems?
财政问题吧
how did you know? i bought your espresso maker from berta.
你怎么知道的 我从波塔那里买♥♥了你的煮咖啡机
I got a great deal 'cause she didn't want to carry it on the bus.
我捡了个便宜 她不想抱着它上公车
Wonderful.
太好了
Charlie,"miscellaneous cash expenses"? what exactly is that?
查理 "综合开支"是什么
I don't know. go see a movie,buy a hot dog,stuff like that.
我不知道 看电影 买♥♥热狗之类的
It was $80,000 last year.
去年用掉了8万块
That. that's women and gambling.
那个啊 那是女人和赌博
Gone and gone.
都取消掉
Great. why don't I just shoot myself?
好啊 我去自杀算了
You can't afford a gun.
你买♥♥不起枪
You know,I could lend you some money,charlie.
我可以借你点钱的 查理
That's very sweet,rose,but I don't really want to shoot myself.
你真是好心 罗斯 但我真的不想自杀
The way I see it,you're either gonna have to slash expenses,
在我看来 你要么缩减开支
Or find the money to pay your bills someplace else.
要么另外来找钱付账
Okay.
好
i'll borrow on the house. you've already got three mortgages.
我可以抵押房♥子来借钱 你已经抵押过3次了
ls that a lot? not if you have three houses.
很多吗 如果你有3套房♥子就不多
Let me ask you a tough question.
我来问你个难回答的问题
What would you think about going to mom for a short-term loan?
你觉得问老妈短期借点钱怎么样
Interesting idea.
你的想法很有意思
I think I'd rather have a pack of hyenas tear out and devour my
我更情缘让一群土狼扯出我的肠子
intestines.
然后吃掉
Yeah,I know. I can't afford hyenas.
我知道我知道 我买♥♥不起土狼
Look,you know I'd help you if I could,
如果我能帮你的话我一定帮
But all my money's going to my former wife,my former house,
但我的钱都流向了我的前妻 我以前的房♥子
My former wife's current lawyers and all their descendants.
我前妻的律师和他们的子孙
So if you don't want to go to mom,
所以如果你不想问老妈借
You're gonna have to change your lifestyle for a few months.
那你接下来几个月就得改变生活方式了
Fine. you win.
好吧 你赢了
I win? what do I win? how is this a win for me?
赢了? 我赢了什么 怎么叫我赢了
Whatever. I'll cut back,like you said.
随你说 我会照你说的做 缩减开支
Now come on,let's all go out for a nice dinner. I'm buying.
来吧 我们去外面吃一顿晚饭 我请客
Great. then after we can stop by my place for espresso.
好 回来的时候去我家喝咖啡
Good idea. that's a money saver.
好主意 这可省钱了不是
"save 50 cents on one regular-sized hamburger helper
买♥♥一个一般大小的汉堡包省5毛钱 提示
"when you buy two of the following 10.5 ounce..."
你买♥♥2个10.5盎司的...
Screw it.
他妈的
How do you like that cabernet?
你觉得这红葡萄酒怎么样
it's very good. i'll have to try it sometime.
非常好 我有空也得尝尝
And excuse me for saying so,but you really don't need the lean cuisine.
也许我不该这么说 不过你真的不需要瘦身特餐
Thank you.
谢谢
So,how do you like this
你喜不喜欢这个
Cheese?
奶酪
That.
那个
I do a little volunteer work making sandwiches for a homeless shelter.
我志愿给那些无家可归的人做三明治
I don't know if you know this,but a lot of those homeless fellas
我不清楚你是不是知道 许多流浪者
Iike a little snort once in awhile.
有时候都喜欢尝尝这东西的味道
Okay. seek and ye shall find.
努力搜寻就有回报
Twenty-four rolls of toilet paper for $3.99.
24卷厕纸只卖♥♥3块9毛9
I know what you're thinking,it's single-ply,
我知道你在想什么 这是单层的
But at this price,you can double up,triple up,go wild!
但这么便宜的厕纸 你可以叠两张 叠三张 随便怎么用
Okay,have a nice day.
祝你愉快
I can't do this anymore,alan. I quit.
我受不了了 艾伦 我放弃了
You can't quit poverty,charlie.
你放弃不了贫穷的 查理
I want the good stuff.
我想要好东西
I want cheese that isn't air-dropped into third-world countries.
我不想要空投到第三世界国家去的奶酪
I want ouchless toilet paper.
我想要擦着屁♥股♥不疼的厕纸
I want vodka that doesn't look like fred flintstone would drink it.
我不想喝看着像"摩登原始人"喝的伏特加(美国动画片)
I want my life back.
我想找回我的生活
Fine,then swallow your pride,call mom,
好吧 那你就收起你的高傲 给妈妈打电♥话♥
and ask her to lend you some money.
问她借钱
Who's the favorite?
谁领先
green bay. did you bet them?
绿湾 你押他们了吗
No.
没
You took the redskins?
你押红人队了?
no action? none.
没动作? 没
then why are we watching? beats the hell out of me.
那我们干吗要看 我也不知道
Anybody want a snack?
有人想吃零食吗
Pizza's here.
披萨来了
You ordered a pizza?
你叫了披萨?
Charlie,you're supposed to be cutting back on expenses.
查理 你应该节约一点的
Alan,it's a pizza,not a hooker.
艾伦 这是披萨 不是小姐
Hey,mr. harper. good to see you.
哈勃先生 很高兴见到你
I threw in some of those garlic puffs you like.
我给你放了点你喜欢的蒜粉
Grabbed a bottle of house red. I don't think they'll miss it.
顺便带了瓶店里的红酒 他们不会知道的
Thanks,buddy. here's for the pizza and...
谢谢 兄弟 这是披萨的钱 然后...
Charlie.
查理
Can I speak with you for a minute?
我能和你说句话吗
Hang on a sec.
稍等
what are you planning on tipping him? i don't know.
你打算给他多少小费 我不知道
Give him $2. that's 15%.
给他两块钱 15%
i can't do that. you have to.
我不能这样做 你必须这样做
I can't. did you see his face?
我不能 你看到他的脸了吗
Go.
去
there you go. thank you,mr. harper.
给你 谢谢你 哈勃先生
These are ones.
这些是一块钱的
Yeah.
是啊
I can break $100.
我能找开100块的
Yeah,I'm having kind of a cash flow problem.
我的财政出了点问题
Yeah. well,we had a good run.
好吧 我们以前合作得很愉快
Wait.
等等
here. no,keep it.
给 不用了 你留着
You need it more than I do.
你比我更需要
So,deborah said that julie had an addiction to cosmetic procedures.
黛博拉说茱莉整容上瘾了
And I said,"well,then she needs to go to botox detox."
然后我说 她应该戒掉去皱瘾了
Everyone laughed and laughed,
每个人都笑死了
But,of course,you couldn't tell cause none of their faces were moving.
不过你是看不出来的 她们的脸上的肌肉都不会动
That's pretty funny,mom.
很有意思 妈妈
Listen...
听着
Right. you wanted to tell me something.
哦对 你有事情要告诉我
Yeah. maybe you should sit down.
是的 也许你应该坐下来听
What now? you got some girl pregnant?
怎么了 你让哪个女孩怀孕了
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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