好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S01E16
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 11:59 a.m.
You'll bunk with charlie?
你和查理挤一挤?
hold on there,pecos bill. no,it'll be fun.
打住 旋风牛仔 会很好玩的
It'll be like when we were kids.
就像小时候一样
Okay.
好吧
But just remember,this time mom won't be around to hear you scream.
不过记住 妈妈这回听不到你的救命声了
Why are those people here?
这些人干吗来这儿
They're going through a tough time,and we're helping them out.
她们最近有麻烦 我们在帮她们忙
That girl is really annoying.
那个女孩子真的很烦人
i think maybe she has a crush on you. yeah,that's what's annoying.
我觉得她好像对你有好感 是啊 就是因为这个 太烦了
you don't really like girls yet? no,I like girls.
你还不喜欢女孩子是吗 我喜欢
Just not into eight-year-olds.
只是不喜欢8岁的
Is joanie okay?
琼尼好吗
Yeah. she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.
很好 她一躺下就睡着了
lt was a long day for her. yeah.
她今天玩得够疯 是啊
The good news is I think my in-laws are going to back off.
好消息是 我的姻亲们要作出让步了
The bad news is that wasn't my shrink's car.
坏消息是 那不是我的心理医生的车
Yeah,well,we all make mistakes.
谁不犯错呢
But at least you made this one for the right reason.
但至少你犯错的动机是正确的
You love your daughter.
你爱你的女儿
I just wish I knew where to go from here.
我真想知道我们接下来该去哪儿
Because I know I seem like I've got it all together,
因为我看上去是很胸有成竹的
but this is a little... scary?
不过这真是有点 可怕?
Yeah. I understand.
是的 我能理解
When my marriage ended,I was terrified.
我的婚姻结束后 我的状态糟糕透了
It's the unknown.
路在何方
yeah. no,don't cry.
是啊 别哭
Everything will work out,you'll see.
总有办法的 你会找到的
what's the matter? i don't know.
怎么了 我不知道
It's been so long since anybody's touched me.
很长时间都没人碰过我了
Come here.
来吧
alan? yeah?
艾伦 什么
It's been so long since anybody's touched me.
很长时间都没人碰过我了
How much did you see?
你看到了多少
Just enough to make sleep impossible.
反正看得我不想睡觉了
Okay,that's great. I am dying to talk about this.
好吧 正好 我正想说说这事
All we did was kiss,but,charlie,what a kiss.
我们只是接吻 但是 查理 那个吻
It was like our souls were merging.
好像我们的灵魂融合了
that was saliva,alan. no,seriously.
是口水融合了 艾伦 不 我是说真的
I mean,frankie is incredible. think about it.
弗兰基太不可思议了 想想吧
First she loses her husband,then she has to fight to keep her daughter,
首先 她失去了丈夫 然后 她不得不拼命保住她女儿
And yet,still she has such incredible spirit,such joie de vivre.
然而她还这么充满精力 享受生活的乐趣
Okay,would you like to hear my take on this?
好吧 你想听听我是怎么想的吗
Is it positive and life affirming?
是积极和向上的吗
Good night,alan.
晚安 艾伦
Okay,no. tell me what you think.
好吧 说说你怎么想的
All right.
好
I've known you all your life,and if there's one thing I've noticed,
自从你出生我就认识你了 我可以肯定地说出一点
You are a stone sucker for the damsel in distress.
你特别喜欢身陷困境的女人
i am not. come on,alan.
我没有 得了吧 艾伦
Every woman you've ever been involved with
每个和你交往过的女人
Has been damaged and needy.
现在都可怜兮兮的
Wait,what about... okay,go on.
等等 那个 你继续
You devote all your time and energy into fixing them up
你把自己的时间和精力都用在帮她们解决问题上了
Instead of doing the humane thing,
而不是去做有人性的事
Which is to have sex with them and run away.
和她们做♥爱♥ 然后走人
Exactly how is that the humane thing?
这怎么叫有人性了
My way,they have a good time,you have a good time,nobody suffers.
我的方法是 她们爽到了 我也爽到了 没人痛苦
Your way,you get married,you take over their lives,
你的方法是 你们结婚 然后你来控制她们的生活
They start to hate you,and you end up moving in with me.
她们开始恨你 然后你不得不搬来和我住
You know what,charlie? I think you're jealous.
告诉你 查理 我觉得你是在妒忌
of who? of me.
妒忌谁 我
For the first time in our lives,a woman picked me
有史以来第一次 一个女人选了我
Over you,and you can't deal with it.
而不是你 你接受不了了
I can deal with it. I don't get it,but I can deal with it.
我能接受 我不明白为什么 但是我能接受
I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry that your heart
我为你感到悲伤 为你的心灵感到悲伤
Has become so hard and small that you've lost the capacity
你的心变得又小又冰冷 已经失去了
To connect with another human being on any level any more meaningful
和其他人类心灵相通的能力
Than the inebriated exchange of bodily fluids.
只会喝醉了然后跟别人交换体液
Boy,leave it to you to take a beautiful thing
我的天 你怎么能把酒后乱性
Iike drunken sex and make it sound dirty.
说得这么肮脏呢
I don't know why I even bother talking to you.
我不知道我为什么要和你说话
alan? what?
艾伦 干吗
I thought we had a pact to never go to bed mad.
我们不是说好不许吵着上♥床♥的吗
Leave me alone.
别烦我
Come on. don't you want to spoon?
来吧 你不想来个勺式拥抱吗
I swear to god,you are going to lose that hand.
我向上帝发誓你别想再要这只手了
that's not my hand. mom!
这不是我的手 妈妈
do you know where jake is? no,honey,I'm sorry.
你知道杰克在哪吗 不知道 对不起
we're playing hideandseek. i don't know where he's hiding.
我们在玩捉迷藏 我不知道他躲哪儿了
No,I was hiding,and he was supposed to find me.
不不 是我在躲 应该是他来找我
It's been over an hour.
已经一个多小时了
lf I see him,I'll let him know. thank you.
如果我看见他的话我会和他说的 谢谢
You're welcome.
别客气
thank you. you're welcome.
谢谢 别客气
Morning.
早上好
Morning.
早上好
coffee? thank you.
咖啡? 谢谢
So,I thought maybe today,you,me,
我想 今天你跟我
and the kids might go do something fun.
还有孩子们可以去玩一玩
what about charlie? he's had his fun.
那查理呢 他已经玩过了
I know. why don't we go
我知道 我们去
To will rogers state park and have a picnic?
威尔罗杰斯州立公园野餐吧
that sounds nice. great.
听起来不错 好
morning. morning.
早上好 早上好
Oh,man.
天呐
I'm the extra guy.
我是多余的人
Don't call yourself extra.
别说自己是多余的
try superfluous. alan.
说是可以无视的 艾伦
fifth wheel,eleventh toe,third nipple. alan!
第5个轮子 第11个脚趾 第3个乳♥头♥ 艾伦
Interesting.
有意思
what's interesting? this is new for me.
什么有意思 这是全新的体验
Don't really like it.
我不太喜欢
charlie,you're a great guy. no,please,stop.
查理 你是个很好的人 不不 别说了
Do not call me a great guy.
别说我是好人
That's what you call the schmuck loser friend
好人是用来描述那些
Who has to dance with the
和靓妞的丑姐妹跳舞的
Hot chick's ugly cousin.
傻子朋友的
what? nothing. just having a really good day.
干吗 没什么 我今天特别高兴
hey,coming on the picnic,uncle charlie? no. couldn't find a date.
查理叔叔 来一起野餐吗 不去 我找不到女伴
Jake,
杰克
Mom wants to know if you want egg salad or tuna for lunch.
妈妈想问你午饭喜欢吃鸡蛋沙拉还是金枪鱼
tuna. me,too.
金枪鱼 我也是
God,she's annoying.
她太烦了
At least you're not a third nipple.
至少你不是第3个乳♥头♥
Jake,why don't you go in the kitchen
杰克 你去厨房♥
And help joanie pick out some snacks for the picnic basket?
帮琼尼一起挑点野餐的小点心吧
You sure you don't want to come with us?
你真的不和我们一起去吗
do you really want me to come with you? no,I was just being polite.
你真的想叫我去? 不 我只是在客气
Listen,frankie,we need to talk about you and alan.
弗兰基 我想我们要谈谈你和艾伦的事情
Come on,stud.
说吧 帅哥
you're not jealous,are you? no. dumbfounded,maybe.
你没嫉妒吧 没有 只是有点惊讶
Mystified,astounded,flabbergasted,but not jealous.
觉得有点神秘 有点吓呆了 有点大吃一惊 不过不是嫉妒
I just want to make sure that you understand how vulnerable he is.
我只是想让你知道他有多脆弱
You don't think I'm vulnerable,too?
你不觉得我脆弱吗
Maybe you haven't noticed,charlie,
也许你没注意到 查理
But I'm wrapped tighter than an airport sandwich.
不过我被比飞机场卖♥♥的三明治包得还紧
Okay,let me put it this way,my brother is crazy about you.
好吧 那我们这么说 我弟弟对你很痴迷
Well,I'm crazy about him,too.
我对他也是
No,you don't understand. alan's a nester.
你不知道 艾伦是一个超级想成家的人
He's already imagining the two of you walking through lkea,
他已经在想象和你一起去宜家
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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