好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S01E13
Part 1
Nov. 17, 2020, 11:59 a.m.
Here,try this.
来 尝尝这个
What is it? -Just try it.
这是什么 先尝尝
Hey,that's good.
哦 真好吃
Of course it is.
那当然
It's chicken in frumunda sauce.
这是蘸了法姆达调味汁的鸡肉
Frumunda sauce?
法姆达调味汁?
Yeah,from under the toiIet.
对 "来自厕所下面"
Get it,Dad?
爸爸 你明白吗?
Yeah,I get it. I got it 30 years ago,
当他30年前第一次和我说了以后
the first time he said it.
我就明白了
Yeah,but it's new to him.
对 对他来说还新鲜呢
Check this out.
瞧瞧这个
Hey,Jake?
嘿 杰克
What do you caII the red mushy stuff
你管大象脚趾间红色的
between the eIephant's toes?
糊状物叫什么?
What? -Slow-moving natives.
叫什么? 天生行动迟缓
I Iove this kid. He's a comedy bIank sIate.
我爱死这孩子了 他真是个笑话白纸
I'll gIad you do,but you might not
我很高兴你爱他 可你还是
want to share your chopsticks with him.
别和他共用筷子吧
I think he's coming down with something.
我觉得他可生着病呢
Oh,no.
不是吧
He thinks it's a head coId but it's snot.
他觉得这是感冒 其实是鼻涕(讨厌包)
Wait a minute,
等等
you don't know that one,either?
你也不知道这个?
I have so much to teach you,grasshopper.
小蚂蚱 看来我要教你东西不少
Do you know how to make arm farts?
你知道怎样用胳肢窝放屁吗?
CharIie? Not at the dinner tabIe.
查理 别在餐桌前表演
I'll show you Iater.
一会儿再给你表演
Before I forget,
趁我还记得
you got pIans for tomorrow night?
问问你 明天晚上有事做吗?
No. -Make some.
没有 那找点事做
I'll gonna need the house to myseIf.-Fine.
我要一个人呆在屋子里 行
Don't you want to know why?
你不想知道原因吗?
Jake,if you've done,you can
杰克 你要吃完饭了的话
go to your room and start your homework.
就回屋做功课去吧
This is about sex,right?
是关于性的 对吗?
Kids today,huh?
现在的孩子啊
Doesn't know frumunda sauce
不知道什么是法姆达调味汁
but gets why I need the house.
可知道我为什么要屋子
I got a bunch of jokes
我有一堆笑话
you've gonna Iove in a year or two.
够你爱个一两年的
CooI! -Go.
太好了 回屋
You think I'll just a kid but I'll snot.
你觉得我只是孩子 可我是个讨厌包
Wait,that's not right.
等等 这不是这么说的
Okay,have you ever had revenge sex?
好 你听过报复性做♥爱♥吗?
Hang on. Jake,are you in your room?
等等 杰克 你在你屋里吗?
Yeah!
在!
Revenge sex. Is that anything Iike pity sex?
报复性做♥爱♥ 是不是和同情做♥爱♥差不多?
Whole different animaI.
完全不是一♥码♥事
Let me break it down for you.
我给你好好解释下
There's this woman,Kathy,
有个凯西的女的
who Iives up the beach. BeautifuI woman,
住在海滩那头 真是个美女啊
I've wanted her for years. OnIy one probIem.
我想要她都一年了 唯一的问题是
She's married to kind of a friend of mine.
她和一个还算的上是我朋友结婚了
Kind of a friend?
算的上是你朋友?
WeII,I never reaIIy Iiked him,
我从没有真正喜欢他
but he had a hot wife.
可他有个身材火♥辣♥的老婆啊
So,the sanctity of marriage does
对 神圣的婚姻的确
sIow you down a bit. I'll impressed.
让你放慢一点点的速度 让我深受感动
Thank you.
过奖
But then I catch a break.
可我逮到了个机会
He cheats on her with her best friend.
他和她最好的朋友搞在一起
She throws him out. So now
她把他赶走了
I'lll thinking she is gonna want justice.
所以我觉得 她可能想要公平对遇
Justice meaning revenge sex with you?
所谓公平待遇就是和你报复性做♥爱♥?
You see it,too,huh?
你也这么看啊?
You've gonna expIoit someone's anger
你要加深别人的愤怒和悲伤
and grief for your own animaI gratification.
好借此满足你的兽♥欲♥
Hey,I don't bitch about your hobbies.
嘿 我从没抱怨过你的习惯
anyway She's coming over here on Sunday,
总之 她周日来这
so I want you to be out of the way...
所以你最好到外边去
because we'll probabIy
因为我们很可能
be moving from room to room.
一个屋滚到另一个屋
I'll catch a movie.
我去看电影
Just mop up when you've done.
你们做完了就给我收拾干净
You got it.
你真明事理
Don't take things off his pIate.
别吃他的盘子里的东西
He's coming down with something.
他病着呢
ReIax. I never get sick.
放心吧 我从来不生病
Boy,is he sick.
老兄 他是真病了
WeII,I can't say he didn't warn me.
他还警告我来着
How you feeIing?
你觉得怎么样?
HorribIe.
好难受
Is that tea? -Yeah.
那是茶吗? 对
I know I said I wanted
我知道我说过要你
you out of the house for my date tonight
你今晚为我的约会到外面去
so don't worry about it.
可你看来是动不了了
so don't worry about it.
别担心那事了
Thank you.
谢谢
Just stay in your room so the coughing
你就待在你的屋子里咳嗽
and hacking doesn't kiII the mood.
别破坏气氛
Anything eIse I can do
我还能为你些什么
to enhance your evening?
好让你晚上更激♥情♥吗?
WeII,you know how to work my camcorder?
你知道怎么用我的便携式摄像机吗?
I'll bored. What are we gonna do today?
好无聊啊 我们今天做什么?
I don't know. Why don't we make
不知道 要不我们
some Iunch and figure something out?
出去吃个午饭 找点乐子?
CooI. -Excuse me?
好 等等
Hasn't anybody noticed
没人发现
I'm sick and miserabIe here?
我现在病的半死不活的吗?
Yes,AIan,we noticed.
艾伦 我们都发现了
Which is why we've gonna make Iike
这就是我们为什么要装成
hockey pIayers and get the puck out of here.
曲球运动员 把这个顽童带出去
Get it,Dad? Puck's not a bad word,
爸把 你懂吗? 顽童 不是什么坏词
but it sounds Iike one.
不过听上去有点像
Yeah,hiIarious.
恩 真搞笑
Hey,UncIe CharIie,
查理叔叔
Iet's make Iike soccer pIayers
我们装成足球运动员
and get our big Ieather baIIs out of here.
把大皮球带出去
Good one.
好主意
You know,I caught this from you.
我是被你传染的
How come you've not sick?
你怎么没生病?
I am. See?
我病了 看到没?
He's just not being a baby about it.
他只是没那样弱不经风
Hi. -Perfect.
嗨 太好了
Rose,this isn't the best time.
罗斯 你来的真不巧
AIan's pretty sick.
艾伦病了
Oh,no!
哦 不是吧
Poor AIan.
可怜的艾伦
Is CharIie taking good care of you?
查理好好照顾你了吗?
Not reaIIy.
没怎么照顾
WouId you Iike me to take care of you?
想要我好好照顾你吗
Not reaIIy.
不怎么想
Don't be siIIy. Move over.
别傻了 挪过去点
Rose,what are you doing?
罗斯 你要干什么?
I'lll transmitting heaIing energy
我要把我体内的
from my body to yours.
治愈能量传给你
Looks Iike you've in good hands.
看来你有人好好照顾你了
Come on,Jake.
过来 杰克
I don't think that's gonna heIp him.
我才不信这能帮他
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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