好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S01E02
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 11:56 a.m.
because he knows you won't follow through.
因为他知道你不会坚持下去的
Well,he obviously knows me better than you do.
是啊 他明显比你了解我
Okay,look,if this is going to work out with Jake living here part time,
那好 如果以后杰克得暂时住这里
you have to be an adult. You have to impose discipline.
你要象个一个成年人来要求他执行纪律
Yea,fine,whatever. Give me back the remote.
那好 不管怎样 你得把遥控器给我
No,no,no. You're not listening to me. You need to be firm.
不 你没听进我说的话 你必须要坚持
Okay.
好的
Go to your room.
回你房♥间去
Yes,like that.
对 就像这样
I mean it.
我说真的
Give me the remote and go to your room.
把遥控器给我 然后回你房♥间去
That's very funny. Ha ha.
那太有趣了 哈哈
I'm serious. Get out of here or I will kick your ass.
我是认真的 离开这 否则我踢你屁♥股♥
Oh man.
天哪
Jake. Jake.
杰克 杰克
It was on when I came in.
我进来的时候它就开着
Yea,right.
好吧
What did I tell you about leaving juice boxes on my piano?
我告诉过你不要把果汁盒放在钢琴上
How do you know it's mine?
你怎么知道那一定是我的?
Come on,who else around here drinks “Transylvania Goofy Juice”?
省省吧 除你还有谁喝 "笨蛋吸血鬼果汁"?
Good point.
有道理
And another thing. Were you on the deck feeding the seagulls again?
还有件事 你是不是又在天台上喂海鸥了?
Sorry,I forgot.
不好意思 我忘了
Okay,we need to talk.
那好 我们需要谈一谈
Love you,Uncle Charlie.
我爱你 查理叔叔
Look,we don't feed the seagulls
那么 我们以后不要再喂海鸥了
because you can't get rid of them.
一旦喂了就无法摆脱它们
We don't leave the doors and windows open
把门窗关好
because we get all kinds of bugs and crap flying in the house.
否则会有臭虫和粪便弄在房♥子里
No,no,no,don't just say “Okay”. Okay.
好吧 不不不，别只会说"好"
This is not the grownup telling the kid what to do.
这并不是成年人告诉孩子应该做什么
This is just two guys agreeing how to live together.
而是两个男人间对共同生活达成的协议
Are we cool? Yea,cool.
说定了吗? 当然
Hey. What's going on?
这儿怎么了
Nothing.
没什么
Was he watching TV?
他有没有看电视?
No.
没有
Jake,I have to run a quick errand.
杰克 我得去办件事
So,why don't you wash and dress and when I get back we'll do something fun.
你去洗澡换衣服 等我回来一起玩
Can we watch TV?
一起看电视?
Go!
去!
Where are you off to?
你要去哪?
Uh,the,uh,the,uh,grocery store.
恩 杂货店
You're going to Judith's,aren't you?
你是要去朱蒂丝那儿是吧?
No.
不是
Then where are you going?
那你是去哪儿?
Judith's.
朱蒂丝家
Oh,Alan.
艾伦
I have to. I have to.
我是不得不去 不得不去
The,the,the timer on the sprinkler system is broken
那个 那个洒水系统的定时器坏了
and the flower beds are getting flooded,
而且花坛几乎被淹没了
and I love her and I want her back.
而且我爱她 我想挽回她
Buddy,I feel for you.
老兄 我能体会你的感受
Thank you.
谢谢
Unfortunately,the feeling is nausea.
不幸的是 这种感受真恶心
Great,great,I'll see you later.
好了 好了 待会见
Alan,you've been making the same mistake your whole life.
艾伦 你一辈子总是犯同样的错误
Being the good boy,
以为努力做个好孩子
fixing everything
修正一切
so everybody would love you.
那么人人会都爱你
It didn't work with Mom.
可是妈妈不爱
It didn't work with either of the women you went out with.
和你约会的女人不爱
And it's not gonna work with your wife.
甚至你老婆也不爱你
Charlie,you know nothing about commitment and responsibility to a relationship.
查理 你不明白婚姻中的承诺与责任
Granted.
也许是吧
But I do know when a woman's using me.
但我清楚知道一个女人何时在利用我
And by that I mean,not in a fun way.
我意思是说不是以那种有趣的方式
Well,you can rest easy because no one is using me.
好了 放松点 没人在利用我
And did you mean I only dated two women including Judith?
你是说我只和朱蒂丝在内的两个女人交往过?
Because… because if you did,I have two words for you:
如果你真的这样想 我有两个字送给你
Maxine Chernakoff
马克馨·契诺夫("美国新作"杂♥志♥主编）
Did you fix it?
修好了吗?
Not quite.
还差点
It doesn't seem like you're changing anything.
看起来好象没有任何改变
No? Well,sometimes change happens,
是吗? 改变随时会发生
Judith,and you can't see it.
朱蒂丝 只不过你没看见而已
Okay,fine,when you're done fixing this,
好了 等你把它弄好了
would you come inside and take a look at the garbage disposal?
能进来帮我看下垃圾处理器吗?
Sure. Thank you.
当然 谢谢了
Wait,no.
等等 不
What?
怎么了?
No,I won't come inside and look at the garbage disposal.
不 我不想进去检查垃圾处理器
Why not?
为什么不?
I know when I'm being used,Judith,
我知道我是在被利用
and not in a fun way.
而且不是以有趣的方式
What are you talking about?
你到底在说些什么
Who are we kidding?
我们在骗谁呢?
The marriage is over.
婚姻结束了
You're just afraid to move on
你只是不敢向前走
so you keep dragging me over here,
所以你把我拉回原位
and I'm afraid to move on so I keep coming.
我也不敢往前走 便老是过来
Goodbye Judith,
再见了 朱蒂丝
you're free.
你自♥由♥了
I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for.
希望你能找到如意郎君
Jake?
杰克?
What you got there?
你拿的什么?
Just a little bread.
只是点面包而已
Please tell me you're not feeding the seagulls again.
告诉我你没有去喂海鸥
Okay.
好吧
Oh man,did you let another one of those big,flappy bastards in the house?
天哪 你又让另一只大的飞行杂种进屋了?
You have to put a dollar in the swear jar,you said “bastards”.
你得放1美元进脏话瓶 你刚才说了"杂种"
Smart,poke the bear.
真聪明 转移话题
I'm telling you Jake,this is the last time…
我告诉你杰克 这是最后一次...
Yikes.
天啊
I'm really sorry,Uncle Charlie.
我非常抱歉 查理叔叔
I don't want to talk to you right now.
我现在不想和你说话
Hello,do you have a department of animal
你好 有没有什么动物管制或者
animal control or bird abatement?
驱赶鸟类的机构?
I have a seagull problem.
我遇到了海鸥的麻烦
Seagull
海鸥
Thank you,I'll hold.
谢谢 我会等着
I didn't know there'd be so many.
我不知道这儿居然会有这么多
I told you,don't feed the damn things.
我告诉过你 不要喂这些该死的东西
I told you,don't leave the windows open.
我也告诉过你 不要打开门窗
Yea,hi. Er,who's this?
哪位?
Phyllis Siegal.
菲利斯·"海鸥"（西格）先生
No,no,Phyllis,
不 不 菲利斯
I wanted to talk to somebody about seagulls.
我是想要和谁说说这个海鸥问题
I got a flock of seagulls in my house.
我房♥间里有一群海鸥
No,I don't know whatever happened to them.
不 我不知道它们怎么了
I'm really sorry.
我非常抱歉
We had an agreement,Jake,
我们之间曾有协议 杰克
and you broke it.
但是被你打破了
Look,I need somebody who can come over with a net or something.
听着 我需要有人带个网或其他什么的过来
Sure,I'll hold.
好的 我会等着
Hello? Who's this?
你好 你哪位
Annette
"个网"（安妮特）
Look,I got a room filled with seagulls
听着 我房♥间里飞满了海鸥
and… no,no,no…
而且...不不不...
Hi,Phyllis.
嗨 菲利斯
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
剧集 | 好汉两个半（2003） | 导航列表