好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S01E20
Part 1
Nov. 17, 2020, noon
Hey,judith. there's the rock star. ready for a fun weekend?
好 朱蒂丝 还有这个小摇滚巨星 准备好过个愉快的周末了吗
Leave me alone.
别理我 烦着呢
Musicians.
音乐家都这样
Alan,that child is driving me insane.
艾伦 这孩子都快把我逼疯了
Like father like son,huh?
有其父必有其子 对吧?
Really,that bad?
真的有那么严重吗?
He's been sullen and uncooperative for days.
他都闷闷不乐而且不听话了好几天了
i think he needs to see someone.
我觉得该带他去看看
What,you mean like a shrink?
看什么 你是说看心理医生?
No,alan,I mean like a blacksmith.
不 艾伦 照我说就该去看铁匠
This is clearly a reaction to our divorce.
明显这是由于我们的离婚造成的
He's not processing his emotions in a healthy way,
他的情绪正经历非常不健康的阶段
And I think therapy could help unblock him.
我想心理医生也许可以帮他解开心结
where did you get that? from my therapist.
你从哪听来的? 我的心理医生
Who's working wonders with you.
能解开你的就算不错的了
Excuse me?
什么?
Who's working wonders with you.
能解开你的心结就很不错了
All he does is sit in his room and play that damn thing.
看吧 他现在就知道成天在他房♥间里摆弄那个破玩意儿
he's isolating,alan.
他现正在慢慢自闭 艾伦
That doesn't mean he needs to see a therapist.
这并不代表他就得看心理医生
He's a normal 1 1-year-old kid who happens to be a little grumpy.
他只是个偶尔发发小脾气的11岁正常小孩
And I'm a normal 35-year-old mother who is running out of patience.
我也只是个快要耗尽耐心的35岁正常妈妈
And by patience I mean prozac.
要知道我的耐心全是由抗抑郁药物支撑的
Wait a minute. you can't still be 35,because...
等等 你不可能才35岁 因为...
He's getting pretty good at that.
他现在找到调了
Yeah,well get used to it.
好吧 那你慢慢习惯去吧
Charlie,what are you doing?
查理 你在干嘛?
Smoke on the water.
蜻蜓点水(杰克弹的是这首歌♥的前奏)
Okay.
好了
It's not cute anymore.
这可一点都不可爱了
Make him stop.
快让他别弹了
You're the one who bought him the guitar,charlie.
你别忘了可是你给他买♥♥的吉他 查理
The bed is vibrating so much up there I'm no longer necessary.
床板都给他振得一上一下的 还要我♥干♥嘛
Well,I'm sorry my son's interrupted your afternoon debauchery,
那我只有代我儿子给你说声对不起 打搅你的午后激♥情♥时光了
But I think he's upset about something.
我觉得他可能是因为什么事在烦恼
what's he upset about? i don't know.
他有什么好烦的? 我不知道
I was just giving him a little space before I talked to him.
我只是想先让他自己独处下 过会儿去跟他谈谈
You want me to talk to him?
要不要我去跟他谈谈?
Sure,and I'll finish for you upstairs.
好啊 那你楼上的差事就交给我得了
This is a father's job.
这是爸爸该做的事
Tell him I just need,like,20 minutes.
给他说我大概就需要 20分钟
Can I come in?
我可以进来吗?
It really sounds like you've got your mojo working.
听起来你弹得真是专心致志啊
But let's try to turn it down now,okay?
但现在我们把声音开小一点点 好吗?
What'd you do that for?
干什么啊?
Because I love you,and I don't want that to change.
因为我爱你 我不想因为这个原因去改变这一点
So how was your week?
那 你这周过得怎么样?
Okay.
就那样
Anything I need to know?
有什么要告诉我的吗?
anything bothering you? no.
有什么烦心事了吗? 没
You sure? 'cause it seems like something's bothering you.
你肯定没有? 可你看起来心事重重的样子
Okay,you wanna know what's bothering me?
好吧 想知道我在烦什么吗?
Yeah.
想啊
People keep on asking me what's bothering me.
周围人一直在问我在烦什么
okay. I won't ask. good.
好吧 我不问了 很好
you know,when I was your age... oh,man!
知道么 我在像你这么大时... 我晕
Okay,forget that.
好吧 不提那个
problems at school? no.
学校遇到麻烦了? 没
problems with mom? no.
跟妈妈闹别扭了? 没
Because I understand there's some things a guy doesn't want to
我知道有些话作为男生
talk with his mom about. like what?
很难向妈妈启口 比如?
Well,you know,girl problems,or somebody's picking on you.
呃 比如女孩子的问题啦 有人在你背后指指点点啦
Or you're the only guy
或者你在体育更衣室里发现
in gym class without hair on his testicles.
自己是唯一一个蛋蛋上没长毛的男生
She sobered up on you,huh?
她还太清醒了是吧?
No,I'm just being a good host. and,yeah,a little bit.
没 我只是想做好待客之道...而且...好吧 她还没被灌到位
man. did you figure out what his problem is?
伙计 找出他的问题所在了没?
No,but we determined mine was late-onset puberty.
没有 但我们一致认定我发育得太迟
You were a mexican hairless,weren't you?
你当时就是只墨西哥无毛狗 不是吗?
Did you check to see if he's constipated?
你们就不看看孩子是不是便秘了?
His mother and l are going through a divorce,
他妈正在跟我闹离婚
And there's a lot of emotions he hasn't processed.
有很多复杂的感情因素他还没有经历过 无法消解
Maybe so,but there's also a lot of string cheese he hasn't processed.
对吧 或许也只是他塞进肚子里的奶酪丝还没经过消解
You know,judith thinks he needs to see a therapist.
你知道吗 朱蒂丝认为该带他去看心理医生
Why,'cause it's working so good for her?
怎么 就因为心理医生把她治得很爽?
Charlie,that's uncalled for.
查理 我可没那么说
Come on. the kid's problem is he's 1 1.
得了吧 这孩子最大的问题就是他才11岁
He can't drive,he can't drink,and his mother picks out all his clothes.
他不准开车 不准喝酒 连他的衣服都是他妈给选的
Be thankful he's not in the garage biting the heads off of chickens.
他没在车♥库♥里啃下活鸡的脑袋就算好的了
But this isn't like him.
但他平时不是这样的
Trust your first instinct.
相信你的直觉
Just give him a little space,and probably by this time tomorrow...
给他点时间 可能还等不到明天这个时候...
I will have killed him.
我就已经杀了他
Not bad.
弹得不错
but why don't you try fretting the "e" and the "a" string together?
但你为什么不试试同时压住E弦跟A弦
I like my way.
我喜欢我的方式
Cool.
好吧
What did you do that for?
你这又是干什么?
Look,I'm really happy you've taken up an instrument,
你看 我很高兴让你学一门乐器
And I'll be even happier when you learn an actual song.
你要是能弹首完整的曲子出来我就更高兴了
But right now,let's just take a little pause for the cause.
而现在 我们来个中场休息
What do you want?
你要干什么?
Nothing. I just thought we could hang out.
没什么 我就想能一起晃晃
A couple of musicians taking five.
两个音乐家一起研究下5弦定律
Just chilling.
一个冷笑话而已
Nothing's bothering me.
我没什么烦恼
That's cool. I'm not trying to harsh your mellow.
不错 我可没想打扰你的雅兴
I know there are certain things a guy doesn't want to talk to his parents
有些事做为男孩子不想给他爸妈说
about.
我完全能理解
like what? i don't know.
比如? 我不知道
Peer pressure. bullies.
来自同学的压力啦 被大孩子欺负啦
Skipping class to drive to tijuana with the school nurse.
翘课跟学校保健室的护士开车去提瓦纳(墨西哥城市)啦
I'm telling you,my youngest once ate a whole can of play-doh.
我跟你说 我最小那个有次吃掉了一整罐的橡皮泥
Stopped her up for two weeks.
整整两周没拉一次
Berta,please.
贝塔 别说了
Finally,pooped out an ashtray.
最后 他给我拉了个烟灰缸出来
That's the day I quit smoking.
我当天就戒了烟
Any luck?
如何?
The little snothead kicked me out of his room.
那个小混♥蛋♥把我从他房♥间轰了出来
Welcome to the club.
欢迎加入我的行列
Yeah,but I'm the cool uncle.
好吧 但我还是个酷大叔
And I'm the uncool dad?
那我就是"逊爹"咯?
Don't get defensive. you did the best you could.
别狡辩啦 你已经尽力了
That kid has nothing to complain about.
这孩子可没怎么东西可以抱怨
He's never been spanked,he's never even been yelled at.
他从没被打过屁♥股♥ 从来都没被骂过
And even while my marriage was collapsing,he always came first.
甚至我在婚姻破裂时 我第一个想到的就是他
Well,I'm glad you're not defensive.
好吧 你没为这个狡辩我倒是很欣慰
He has a great life. he gets everything he wants,
他活得顺风顺水 要什么就有什么
I deny him nothing. oh,my god,what have I done to my son?
我也没否决过他的任何要求 哦 天那 看我都是怎么惯孩子的
Alan,I was kidding. you're a terrific father.
艾伦 我只是在开玩笑 你是个不错的老爸
you think so? yes,I do.
你真这么想? 是 真的
You're right. I'm always too quick to blame myself.
你说得没错 我总是急于自责
yes,you are. it's his mother's fault.
对 你就是 这完全是他妈那边的的问题
Attaboy!
说到点子上了!
Would you like me to make you a snack,jake?
要我给你弄点零食来吗? 杰克
I'm not hungry.
不饿
You sure? we've got some pizza left from dinner.
真的? 晚饭我们还有几块披萨没吃完
Alan,ease up. he said he's not hungry.
艾伦 别紧张 他说他不饿
You'll eat when you want to,right?
饿了你自己知道去吃的 对吗?
Would you please not talk? I'm trying to watch.
别絮叨行不? 我要看电视
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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