好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S01E01
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 11:56 a.m.
Again?
又?
You've got somebody who comes in regularly
你有人定期给你
to glue your cabinets?
把橱柜粘上?
You've met some of the whack jobs I've gone out with
你也见过一些我遇到的烂人
it's not that big a stretch.
有什么大不了的
So,this is my fault?
所以是我的错?
Who let her in?
谁让她进来的
You are a deeply disturbed man,you know that?
你是个非常困扰的人 你知道吗
Move it,move it. Come on.
让让 让让 快点
Oh,I'm deeply disturbed?
我非常困扰?
Who showed up here in the middle of the night
谁在半夜拿着自己的床单
with his own sheets?
出现在我家的?
Hey at least,I care what I sleep on.
至少我在意我睡在什么上
Or should I say,who I sleep on.
或者说我睡在谁身上
Hey pal,of the two of us…
兄弟 我们两个人里
I'll bet I'm the only one who's slept with a married woman recently.
我打赌我是那个最近和已婚女人上过床的人
And isn't that something to brag about.
那真是值得炫耀啊
Hi mom.
好啊 妈妈
Do you have any idea how hurtful it is
你知道在大街上听到自己儿子离婚的事
to hear about your own son's divorce on the street?
有多么伤人吗
What divorce? What street?
什么离婚? 什么大街上?
How did you get in my house?
你是怎么进来的
You stay out of this.
你别参合
I'm here to help your brother through a very difficult time.
我是来帮你弟弟来度过难关的
How could you do this to me?
你怎么能这么对待我
Do what?
我做什么了
Now,when I want to see my grandson
现在如果我想见我的孙子
I am going to have to make an appointment with Judith
我就得和朱蒂丝预约
who,let's face it,was never very warm to me.
说实话 她从来没给过我好脸看
And what if there's another man there?
要是那还有另一个男人呢
Shacking up with her?
和她同居
Have we even stopped to consider that?
你有没有想过这一点
I think he's considering it now,mom.
妈妈 我觉得他现在正在想
Here’s your iced tea,grandma.
奶奶 这是你的冰红茶
Oh,thank you,my little angel.
谢谢你 我的小天使
Oh darling,I asked for a lemon wedge.
亲爱的 我说了要柠檬角装饰
Alright,here’s what you're going to do.
好了 你要这么做
You and Jake will come live with me.
杰克和你要和我一起住
After all,I'm just rattling around in that big house all by myself.
反正我是自己一个人在那间大房♥子里自说自唱
Mom,that's very considerate.
妈妈 你想的很周到
But as soon as Judith and I work things out
但是等我和朱蒂丝把问题解决了
I'm going to be back at my own house.
我就要回自己的房♥子住了
Oh,sweetheart,grow up!
甜心 成熟点吧
Think about what I said.
考虑下我的建议
You’re my son
你是我的儿子
and I’ll always have room for you in my house
在我的房♥子里和在我的心里
and in my heart.
总是有你的位置的
I love you too,mom.
妈妈 我也爱你
I love you too,mom.
妈妈 我也爱你
Too little,too late.
太少了 太晚了(也是一首名歌♥名)
So,Vegas was good?
维加斯那地挺好的吧?
It was fine.
还好
Alan,I really want to apologise for putting you through this.
艾伦 我为给你造成的不便深感歉意
I was wrong to blame you for my unhappiness.
我不应该为我的不幸福责怪你
No,no need to apologise.
不 不用道歉
What's important is that we're here
重要的是我们都在一起
and we're working on our marriage.
把婚姻的问题解决
You look great,by the way.
顺便提一句 你看起来很好
Must be all the extra oxygen they pump into the casinos…
估计是因为他们在赌场注入的超多氧气
Alan
艾伦
And you were right.
还有你是对的
I see now that the time apart did us both a lot of good.
分开一段时间对我们两个人都好
I know I've grown.
我知道我成长了
I am not that suffocating guy
我不是那个
you threw out of the house four and a half days ago.
你四天前赶出家门的窒息的家伙了
Let me tell you that.
跟你说
Alan And Jake’s doing fine.
艾伦 还有杰克也很好
I,I know you were concerned about him being around my brother
我知道你有点担心他呆在我哥哥旁边
but it turns out Charlie's great with kids.
但是原来查理和孩子很合得来
Alright,last card,down and dirty.
好了 最后一张牌 最后一张是扣牌
King's bet.
一对老K说话
1$
一块
I’m in. In.
跟 跟
I'll see the dollar and raise it five.
我跟 加注5块
You raised five dollars on that?
那样的牌你就加注5美元?
Call!
跟注
Queens,full of nines.
一对Q 其他全是九
Kid
小屁孩
don't you know what a full house is?
你知道"葫芦"(三条加一对)什么意思吗
Yea,and I also know what a psych-out is.
知道 我还知道什么叫"唬人"
I love this boy.
爱死这个孩子了
And,and,I think we're gonna look back on this
而且我们还要把这些
as a new beginning for our marriage.
当作我们婚姻的一个新开端
A rebirth,a renaissance,if you will.
重生 复活 如果你愿意
Alan,I think I'm gay.
艾伦 我觉得我是同性恋
Alright.
好的
We'll make a list.
我们列个单子
On one side we'll put gay stuff…
一边写上同性恋之类的
I'll see you,and raise you twenty.
我跟你 再大你20块
I think he's got you,pal.
老兄 我认为他赢定你了
He's bluffing.
他在虚张声势
He always pulls his ear when he bluffs.
他一虚张声势就摸自己的耳朵
How about it then Mighty Mouse? You in?
怎么样 小老鼠超人 你跟不跟
Take him down.
打倒他
Call you.
跟你
I hate this kid.
我讨厌这个孩子
What the hell is going on here?
你们他妈的在干吗
You said "hell".
你说"他妈的"了
Throw a dollar in the pot.
扔一美元在罐子里
What?
什么
Hey,we all had to.
嘿 我们都得这样
Charlie,may I speak with you privately please?
查理 我能私下和你谈谈吗
Who's deal with it?
到谁开局了
Jake,go to bed! I'm out!
杰克去睡觉 我出局了
What is wrong with you?
你有毛病了吗
Are you insane?
你疯了吗
Do you have any sense of right and wrong?
你能辨别一点是非吗
Probably not,how was dinner?
可能没有 晚餐怎样
How could you put Jake in a poker game with grown men?
你怎么能让杰克和大人一起玩扑克
I obviously can't be trusted.
很明显我不能被信任
So,how was dinner?
所以晚餐怎样
I leave you alone with him for a couple of hours…
我只不过把他留给你看了几个小时
I'm just gonna keep asking,Alan.
艾伦 我会一直问下去
Dinner was swell,we both had the veal piccata,
晚餐不错 我们都点了意式煎小牛肉
and she's gay!
还有她是同性恋
Most chicks won't eat veal.
大多数小妞都不吃小牛肉
Why do I even try talking to you?
我为什么还要费劲跟你讲话
Come on,
别这样
I'm just trying to get you to lighten up a little.
我只是想让你放松一下
I don't need to lighten up.
我不需要放松
The world I live in is dark.
我的世界是黑暗的
Dark and rainy.
黑暗又潮湿
And you're useless in it.
你在里面屁用没有
Oh really?
是吗
I wasn't useless when you needed a place to stay.
当你想找地方住的时候我怎么没屁用没有啊
Well,obviously that was a mistake.
很明显那是个错误的决定
Are you sure?
你确定吗
Maybe we should make a list.
也许我们应该列个单子
Uncle Charlie?
查理叔叔
What's going on?
你怎么起来了
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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